A Night Visit
by jmint945
Summary: This story is about Katniss going to visit Peeta. It takes place during Mockingjay sometime after Katniss saw Delly's visit with Peeta.
1. Chapter 1

**So this is my first story on Fanfic. I hope you like it. The story takes place during Mockingjay after Katniss saw Peeta's reaction to Delly. Please tell me what you think. **

Katniss POV

I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. My blankets are strangling me because of my thrashing about that I do almost every night. I just had another horrible dream about being in the games again. As I lay there staring at the ceiling the first thing that comes to my mind is how Peeta used to hold me on the train at night and what a comfort that was to me. I set up and reach into the drawer that holds some of my memories. I search until I find the silver parachute that still holds the pearl that Peeta gave me on the beach in the Quarter Quell. As I lay back down I roll the pearl around in my fingers and on my cheek. What I would give to be back in that moment on the beach with Peeta. I finally decide that I want to see Peeta again. I know I can't get close and feel the warmth of his body next to mine; I am reminded of that by the pain I still feel in my neck from when Peeta tried to kill me. But I feel sure that if I can just be near him than that might be enough.

I quietly get up, slip across the room, and pull on some pants before I silently go out the door. I look up and down the eerily lit hallway. There must be safety lights that always remain on. Since I can neither see nor hear anyone, I quietly make my way down the hall. I stop at each intersection and look both directions and listen for voices. I occasionally pass someone in the hall but we just look at each other and continue on our separate ways. I am guessing they are people with late jobs that are just returning to their homes.

I reach the elevator and push the button. As I silently wait I listen for noises. Finally after what seems like an eternity the door slowly open and I step inside. I push the button for the hospital floor. I don't even have to think about it since I have been in there so many times as a patient or been there to visit both Prim and mom. They both work long hours at the hospital.

When the elevator reaches the hospital floor the doors slide open and I stand there not making a noise. I begin to second-guess my self. I have not seen Peeta since Delly went it to see him and he began screaming horrible things about me. I shutter as I step off the elevator. I stand still for a moment as I regain my composure. Nothing will happen I tell my self. I won't go in the room with Peeta just in the observation room where he will never know I am there.

I slip down the hall past the rooms of different patients. All I hear is the occasional groan or the movement of someone shifting positions in bed. Even those noises make me jump or freeze in mid step.

I finally come to the observation room and stand at the door for a while. What will I see when I go in. I know they have been trying some form of rehabilitation, but I don't know what that entails. I finally decide that not matter what Peeta looks like or how many wires he is hooked up to I have to see him. I put my hand on the knob thinking it may be locked but when I begin to move it turns easily and the door slowly begins to open. I open it just wide enough to peek inside and see that no one is inside.

I slip through the small opening and close the door behind me. I stand froze for a moment and just look around. There are computers and papers everywhere. Then I turn to window that looks into Peeta room. I cringe a little as the flood of all the horrible things he said about me returns to my memory. Could I really be that horrible, then I remind myself that it was the memories that the capital altered that made him think that way.

I step up to the glass window and look inside. All I see is an empty, white room with a bed in the middle where Peeta is strapped down. He is lying there so still that I almost wonder if he is still alive. As I watch him I see his chest slowly rise and fall as he breathes deeply. I just stand there watching almost wishing I could go in there and lay on the bed with him. He seems so calm and gentle that I could almost forget that he tried to kill me. As I watch I focus on his breathing. This relaxes me and almost makes me drift off to sleep.

I almost fall over, but I catch myself. I look around the room and see chairs pushed up against the back wall. I pull a chair up to the window and sit down. I pull my feet up and hug them as I continue to watch Peeta.

The next thing I now I am jolted awake by a lot of movement. I see Peeta thrashing in the bed, pulling on the restraints with all his might. I stand up and press my hands against the glass. I realize he must be having a nightmare. I know how real they can seem to be. There is nothing I want more than to run into his room and wake him up and then hold him close and reassure him that it is all just a dream that none of it happened or at least that it is over. A small tear slides down my cheek as I feel some of the pain he must be feeling. I have more than once relived many of the horrible things that happened in the arenas. I have more than once watched tributes die over and over again. I push on the glass knowing all too well that there is nothing I can do but watch and hope he wakes up soon.

After a long time of thrashing and pulling on the restraints he jolts awake. He lays there stiff as a board with sweat running down his forehead and eyes wide open. His eyes seem to scan the room as if trying to remember where he is. I can see he is breathing rapidly and his body is very tense. I can only imagine what he might have dreamed but then maybe I have no idea. I know and experienced many of the same things but the Capitol never tortured me and I have no idea of what he saw or heard during those weeks that we were separated.

After a while he seems to realize where he is or at least that what he just experienced was only a dream. Then he just lays still and stares at the ceiling. I understand because after I have woken from my nightmares I usually do the same thing because I fear that if I close my eyes the images I want to forget will come flooding back and the dream may continue. He seems to relax a bit and I sit back down on my chair. I close my eyes and feel myself drift off to sleep. All the tenseness and heartache have made me tired.

When I wake I look at the clock and see that it is nearly 5:30 a.m. I better get back to my room before most people wake up. I'm sure the doctors will be coming to check on Peeta soon. I remember how they always woke me up early when I was in the hospital. I stand and take one more look at Peeta who seems to be sleeping or at least resting peacefully. I press my hand to the glass and silently promise to come back soon.

**Please tell me what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

I'm in an empty, white room with a bed in the middle where I see Peeta strapped down. He is lying there looking at me with his big, blue eyes.

"Katniss, please let me go, please", he says to me in a quiet whisper. "Help me, please."

I am just heading over to the bed and almost have my hand on the straps when he lets open a loud groan. He begins to grit his teeth and pull on the straps. I take a few steps back and watch in horror as Peeta begins to writhe on the bed. Then his body begins to sprout blonde hair all over it. His face becomes distorted as he grows a muzzle where his mouth used to be. Before my very eyes Peeta has changed into a mutt, just like the ones at the end of our first game.

I begin to cry and scream as I cower in the corner of the room. His eyes are big and wild and staring straight at me as he pulls on the straps and they begin to break. I begin to cry for help, as I am sure he will try to kill me when he breaks free. As I scream more I feel someone grab me and begin to shake me. Somewhere in my mind I can hear someone calling my name.

"Katniss! Katniss, wake up!"

I jolt awake and find myself in the darkness of my room.

Even in the darkness I can see Prim standing beside my bed staring down at me with her big, brown eyes. When she sees my eyes open she sits on the edge to the bed and takes me in her arms. She holds me tight and quietly says," It was only a dream, you're okay." I lie in her arms and feel the tears begin to fall down my cheeks. Prim reaches up gently and wipes them away.

"How can dreams seem so real?" I think to myself.

She gently rocks me for a while before getting up. She pulls the covers up around me and softly kisses my forehead. I hear her quietly climb back into her own bed and whisper "Goodnight, Buttercup."

I lay there silently in my own bed until I hear Prim's breathing become even and slow. I know that she is asleep. It has been two nights since I went to see Peeta. I know that he is fine but every time I close my eyes to go back to sleep I see the mutt on his bed trying to break free. I decide that I need to go see him hoping that after seeing him with my own eyes my mind will forget the mutt at least until the next night mare.

I get up quietly and slip out the door without a noise. I walk cautiously down the hall listening for any one else that may be wake. I make it to the hospital floor without seeing anyone else. I walk down the hall I pass a door that is open.

"Hey you, come here," someone whispers from the bed.

I think about just ignoring it, but I poke my head inside. In the bed is a skinny, old man in a hospital gown.

"What do you want?" I ask in a hushed whisper.

"I need a drink, and no one is around."

"I'll get you one."

I leave the room quietly and soon return with a glass of water. I hand it to the old man. He takes a drink and sets it on the table near his bed.

"Thank you," he replies with a smile and lies back down, pulling the covers back up to his chin.

I smile and say "Goodnight" as I pull the door mostly closed.

I walk the rest of the way to Peeta's without any more interruptions. I slip open the door and duck into the observation room and close the door behind me. I let my eyes adjust to the darkness and look at the window where I saw Peeta resting peacefully.

As I walk over to the row of chairs I glance over at the table. On the table are several pieces of ripped paper. I step closer to see what they are. I can tell by looking that they are a drawing.

"Who would leave a ripped up picture on the table?" I think to myself.

I begin to flip the pieces over and spread them out. Then I begin to put them together like a puzzle. As the pieces go together I can tell it is a girl. When it is finish I gasp!

It's a picture of me. I stare at the picture and then turn to look at Peeta strapped to the bed. Did he draw this picture, and why is it all torn up?

I look at the picture more and notice the bandage on my head. The scene comes rushing back to me. It is me when we were in the cave together during the first hunger games. It had to have been drawn by Peeta; no one else was there. As I stare at the picture the memories of those days in the cave come back. It was a resting time before the last battle with Cato and the mutts.

Suddenly my attention is drawn back to Peeta. I see him moving around in his bed.

He begins to whisper, "Katniss, must protect Katniss."

He stirs a little more and then lays still.

I pull the chair up to the window and sit down. My mind begins to wander back to the nights we spent together in the cave. I think of the things we talked about, and drift off into a peaceful sleep.

I wake up and wonder how long I have been asleep. I look at the clock on the wall and see that it is 6 a.m. I jump up and know I need to get back to my room. Mom and Prim usually get up at 6:30 to get ready for their shift at the hospital. I really don't want to explain where I have been.

As I quickly put the chair away I look at the drawing one more time. I sweep the pieces quickly into my hands and stuff them in my pocket.

"They were all torn up, no one will want them." I think to myself.

I slip out the door and head down the hall. Behind me I hear someone clear their throat. I turn around slowly. There is Greasy Sea giving me a strange look.

"Good morning" I squeak out. (That was not suspicious at all).

She just mumbles "good morning" back and continues on her way.

I hurry the rest of the way back to my room not making eye contact with anyone I pass. I just make it into bed and pull the covers up when mom's alarm begins to beep. I lay very still until Prim and mom leave. That was close.

I sit up and pull the crumpled pieces of paper out of my pocket and carefully tape them together. I slip the drawing into the drawer with the pearl and mom's wedding picture, and then I snuggle back under the covers for a few more hours of sleep. Maybe I will have a good dream.


	3. Chapter 3

I lie awake watching Buttercup chase dust bunnies around on the floor. I am really tired but can't go to sleep. My brain refuses to let me sleep unless mom or Prim is in the room. Both of them have not gotten home from their late shift at the hospital.

Finally I hear them coming to the door. They both change right into their nightclothes. Mom comes to kiss my forehead and says "goodnight". Prim sits on my bed and asks how my day went. I tell of my hunting trip with Gale, and talking with Beetee as he worked on some machine.

"That sounds like you had a good day," says Prim and gives me a hug before climbing into bed.

I can tell it must have been a hard day at the hospital. I almost feel bad that I don't do more to help, but I am labeled "unstable".

They are both breathing heavy within a few minutes of their heads hitting the pillow. I am often envious of how they can fall asleep so fast and that they can sleep so soundly all night long. I don't think they even know how often I am up all night or at least many hours of the night after having a nightmare of the things I have been through in the last year.

I roll over and try to go to sleep myself. It is not long before I fall asleep also. My dream starts out very good.

I am sitting with Peeta in the cave during our first Hunger Games. We are getting ready to go to sleep in the warm sleeping bag. Our stomachs are full from the feast we had-rabbit, fish, and berries. I was just drifting off to sleep when I hear the loud rumble of laughter coming from the cave entrance. I have heard that laugh before. Peeta and I both stare at the entrance when a huge shadow covers the hole. We both gasp at once as Cato stomps into the cave. "I finally found your hiding place," he roars with laughter. He holds his sword high in the air and gets ready to swing. Suddenly I feel Peeta push his body on top of mine taking the blow from the sword. His body goes limp on top of me.

"Nooooo!" I cry. I sit up in bed and begin to sob.

My mom and Prim begin to stir in their beds. I quickly grab my pillow and place it over my face to quiet the sobs. I crawl out of bed and go out in the hall. I sit by our door letting my tears drench the pillow. The pillow muffles the sound of my crying. No one is around any way.

After I am done crying I open the door and go back inside. Mom and Prim are still asleep. I place the pillow on the bed and wrap the blanket around me. I sit in the silence for a while trying to let my body relax. I know I will not be going back to sleep for a while if at all.

Finally I decide to do the one thing I can think of that makes me feel a little better. I will go to see Peeta. Somehow just watching him make me feel better.

I stand up and walk out the door with the blanket still wrapped around me. I make my way down the hall and to the elevator. I don't even stop to think what if someone sees me. I don't really care. I get to the elevator and push the button. I wait for the door to open I step inside. Soon it opens to the hospital floor. I step out and walk down the hall. I hear voices and sounds but just keep on walking.

When I get to the observation room I open the door and step inside. I close the door behind me. My body tenses slightly as I feel something is not right. I look around the room and don't notice anything at first, but when I turn to the corner to get my usual chair I see a shadow. I freeze and stare at the shadow. Then I hear the all to familiar voice.

"What are you doing here, Sweetheart?" says Haymitch.

"What are you doing here?" I counter.

He just stands there and glares at me for a while. When I don't answer his question, he answers mine.

"Greasy Sae said she saw you leave this room the other morning. She was worried about you and I told her I would check it out. Now what are you doing in here in the middle of the night?" Haymitch stood there with his arms across his chest.

I knew he would not be leaving anytime soon.

"Nothing" I say as I reach over and grab the chair next to Haymitch. "I just come I here and watch Peeta sleep, is that a crime?"

I sit down next to the window and peer into the white room. Peeta is lying on the bed with his arms strapped in as usual. I don't know how he can sleep in the same position all the time, but I guess if you can't move, you can't move.

Haymitch grabs a chair and sits down next to me. We both sit without saying a word. Soon I think I can hear Haymitch snoring slightly when Peeta begins to move around. His legs kick at some invisible person, and then he begins to yell.

"Don't touch me!" he shouts and begins to pull at the arm restraints.

By this time Haymitch is awake and standing next to his chair. He eyes dart around the room as if looking for someone then it registers what is going on.

"A dream," he mumbles and sits back down.

Soon we see Peeta jolt awake and stare around the room. It takes a minute for his body to relax.

"This is what you do in here?" Haymitch questions me.

I just nod my head. "In some strange way it relaxes me." I answer.

"Knowing your not the only one having nightmares?" he says looking at me.

I just look at him and shrug. I can't explain why it helps, I just know it does.

Haymitch sits a little longer then gets up and puts the chair away.

"Just don't do anything stupid," he says. Without looking up I can feel his eyes burn into the top of my head.

"I won't," I say in the tone I only use with Haymitch.

He turns and walks out of the room. After the door shuts I turn to look at the clock. It's 5:30 already. I stand and push my chair back against the wall. I longingly look at Peeta before I pull the blanket around my shoulders and walk out the door. I walk down the quiet hall and to the elevator.

"Sweet dreams, Peeta," I whisper to myself as the elevator door closes.


	4. Chapter 4

I went hunting with Gale today. I love being in the woods. I feel free. That night my time in the woods comes back to haunt me.

For a while I am running through the woods with Gale when all of a sudden the woods change and I am back in the same woods as where the games took place. I look around for Gale but I can't see him.

I freeze and stand completely still and listen for the smallest of sounds. It is amazing how fast you can go from hunter to being hunted. I feel alone and lost which I never feel in the woods. I look around and nothing seems familiar except for the tenseness I feel in every muscle of my body.

I hear a noise off to the right. It is getting closer and closer when I realize it is someone running. I duck behind a tree when I hear the running slowing down. Who ever it is they are right on the other side of the tree.

I slowly pull the bow tight that I find that I have been gripping the whole time. I know that I need to shoot as soon as I look around the tree. I steady the arrow as best as I can. I lean around the tree quickly and let the arrow fly. I hear it slice throw something or someone. It is then to my horror that I look to see who was on the other side.

"Peeta!" I scream.

There lying on the ground in a pool of blood is Peeta. I shot him right through the heart. I run to his body but I know he died instantly. I kneel by his lifeless body and begin to convulse with sobs.

As I sob I awaken from my dream to find my mom sitting on the edge of my bed. She looks down at me with her big sad eyes. The same eyes I remember seeing when I would cry after my father's death. The eyes that say, "I'm sorry, but there is nothing I can do." As I child I hated those eyes because all I wanted her to do was comfort me but all she would do is look at me with those sad eyes.

I sit up in bed and whisper, "I'm fine, mom. Go back to bed."

She silently walks back to bed and pulls up her covers. I don't hate my mom I just wish she knew how to deal better. She has never known what to say or how to act, especially since I came back from my first games.

I lie back down in my bed until I am sure that mom has gone back to sleep. Then I get up and walk to the door. I slip out and close the door behind me. It is best my mom does not know about my visits to Peeta. She would not know how to deal with that either.

I pass a few people in the hall but only nod my head in acknowledgement and they do the same. Most people don't question other people cause they don't want others in their business either.

I go up the elevator, as always, and walk down the hall. As I enter the observation room I look all around to make sure Haymitch is not sitting in the corner waiting to give me another heart attack. To my relief no one is in the room.

I walk over to my trusty chair and pull it to the window. I sit down and look into the room where Peeta lies strapped to his bed as always. As I look at him and the rest of the empty room, my mind begins to wonder. I slowly drift off to sleep.

I am woken by Peeta's screams.

"Stop, I can't take it any more, please stop! He screams it again and again. "Please, no more shots!"

I sit on the edge of my chair waiting for him to come out of it, but he doesn't. He just keeps on screaming. Soon his body is trembling and he begins to pull on the restraints at are holding his arms. By this time I am standing with my hands on the glass staring at him as if that will wake him up. He keeps pulling on his wrists, and yanking on them trying to get away. I can see the blood begin to drip as the straps cut into his wrists.

Finally I have had all I can watch. As Haymitch's words, "Don't' do anything stupid." echo in my mind I charge through the door and run to Peeta. I begin to shake him and yell at him the wake up.

After a few shakes his eyes open wide. "Katniss," he hissed out and then pulls away. "You're a mutt! You're trying to kill me!" he yells. "Get away from me!"

I quickly back away and try to speak, but he continues to yell at me. His anger scares me so much that I flee to the other room. Even in there I can hear him yelling. It's as if he knows I am still there even though he can't see me.

I huddle in the corner with my hands over my ears to block out his screams just as I did in the forest with the mockingjays as they copied the screams of Prim and Gale. The tears begin to stream down my face. I know it's the venom that is making him say these things but it still hurts. It's like someone ripping out my heart.

I soon collapse into a ball and lie there for what seems like hours. His yelling becomes very winded and he has to stop between sentences to catch his breath. After a while all is silent. I am surprised that no one came running. As loud as his screams were I was sure that the whole floor could hear him. Maybe these rooms are sound proof.

I still stay curled up in a ball until it has been quiet for a long time. Then I slowly get up and pear into the other room. Peeta is lying on the bed with his eyes closed. All that yelling must have used up all his energy. From the long rise and fall of his chest I am guessing he must be a sleep.

I decide it is time for me to leave, since I do not intend to be around if he starts yelling again. I am still shaking with fright. I will definintly not be telling anyone what happened tonight.

**I have thoughts for the next chapter. I hope to post it before I go on vacation. I hope you are enjoying the story. I am having fun writing.**


	5. Chapter 5

I waited for Prim and mom to get off from the hospital. While I waited I looked through my treasure drawer. I stared for a long time at the picture I had taken from the observation room. I wandered who had torn it up. I held the pearl in my hand as my mind went back to the beach. I looked at the picture of my parents on their wedding day. They both looked so happy. It had been a long time since I had seen mom look that happy, maybe not since after my father died.

When they came in I got the usual greeting from mom. Prim came and sat on my bed. She asked me how my day had gone.

"Fine, I suppose. How were things at the hospital, anything exciting happen?"

"It was very busy…Oh, a woman had a baby today and the doctor let me help with the delivery."

I gave Prim an unsure look but she didn't seem to notice.

After listening to her talk on and on about other things I asked, "How is Peeta?"

Prim gave a surprised and questioning look. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason." I said looking down at my hands folded on my lap.

She stared at me longer in silence. "What's up?" she said a little concerned. "Katniss, you are a terrible liar. I can tell something is on your mind."

I looked around and heard mom taking a shower. I looked into Prim's eyes and said, "I'll tell you, but you can't tell anyone."

She nodded slightly. I slowly began to tell her everything. How several nights I had been to visit Peeta. How last night Peeta and gone crazy yelling and screaming at me when I had woken him from his nightmare. When I was finished I leaned back and let Prim take it all in. She slowly began to nod her head as if pieces of a puzzle were coming together. It was my turn to give her the questioning look.

Prim told me what she was thinking"When I was working this afternoon I hard a huge commotion down the hall. I hurried to see if I could help. At the end of the hall were several doctors and guards. Four guards were holding tightly onto Peeta as he thrashed about. I heard him yelling about you trying to kill him, and that you had been in his room. The doctors tried to calm by telling him no one had been in his room. He just kept insisting it was true. About that time a doctor came running with a syringe. He stuck it in Peeta's arm, and the guards held him still until the drugs knocked him out. So Peeta really had seen you in his room, only you were trying to help him not kill him."

I just stared at Prim. Neither of us could think of anything to say. We both had worried looks on our faces.

"There's nothing you can do," Prim finally said. She stifled a yawn and stood up. "Get some sleep," she said as she kissed me gently on the forehead and went to get ready for bed.

I knew there was nothing I could do, but I could not sleep. So I lay still in my bed as I waited for Prim and mom to go to sleep. As soon as I heard heavy breathing from both beds I got up and slipped out of the room.

As I entered the observation room I saw Haymitch standing in the middle of the room. He was staring in at Peeta. I looked over at Peeta and saw he was strapped down not only by his arms but now also by the ankles. As the door clicked shut I saw out of the corner of my eye Haymitch turn and glare at me.

"How stupid could you be?" he breathed out.

I could smell to liquor on his breath. I stood staring at Peeta and did not say a word. I knew the calm before the storm. I could feel his eyes burning in my brain.

"How could you have been so stupid as to go in there? I thought you were smarter than that."

His volume became louder with every word that he spoke, but still I did not say a word. I knew there was not use saying anything until he was done.

"Do you realize how many weeks of work you destroyed in one moment? That was so stupid, Katniss! Stupid! Stupid! STUPID! He is probably worse than when they rescued him from the capitol."

When Haymitch was finished I spoke in a quiet but firm voice, "You tell me Haymitch. How long was I to watch him suffer? How long was I to let him continue in his misery? He was in so deep he needed help to get out. Surely you have had those dreams that are so strange you know they can't be real, and yet they are so real that you are terrified. How long was I to let it continue? Until he cut his wrists so bad that he would have bled to death? So long that he would end up like Annie, an outcast because everyone thinks she's crazy? You tell me what I should have done!" By the end I was yelling.

Then I fell silent and just continued to stare at Peeta. I would not even look at Haymitch. Right now I wanted to attack him and strangle him to death I was so angry. I also felt hurt. He did not even bother find out what had happened before yelling at me. I wanted to scream and cry all at the same time.

Haymitch did not say another word. It was quiet for a long time before I heard Haymitch walk out of the room.

I just stood and stared at Peeta. I wanted to go in and I remembered how Prim said they had drugged him. Last time I was drugged like that I slept for three days and did not remember a thing. I decided it would be safe. I quietly walked into the room.

I noticed they had taken off Peeta's shirt. He was hooked up to some machine that would monitor his heart rate. This was the first time I realized how skinny he was.

Then as I moved closer I gasped as I saw all the scars all over his body. I remembered how smooth his skin had been after the first games. I shivered as I thought of the horrible things the capitol had done to him. I couldn't help but reach up and lightly touch one of them. I flinched as if in pain myself and then felt cold all over as I realized that this had happened because of me. It was my fault I thought as I rubbed my fingers across some of the other scars. One small tear slid down my cheek.

Then I looked at his arms. He wrists were bandaged where he had cut them by pulling on the restraints so much last night. Even with the bandages I could see the bruises that had formed. Up around his biceps were more bruises. I'm guessing those were from the guards holding him this afternoon.

My eyes traveled to his face that looked so peaceful now. Without thinking I walked over and brushed some of his blond hair away from is face. I traced his jaw with my fingers. As I stood there sadly thinking of how anyone could hurt such a kind person as Peeta, I felt the urge to feel the warmth of his body next to mine. I thought back to the cave and victory tour. I had missed that feeling of security and comfort.

Without thinking I climbed onto the bed with Peeta. I lay on the bed with my head on his chest. I could hear his heart beat. That was a sound I had forgot was so soothing. I lay there for a long time tracing some of his scars with my finger. I almost fell asleep, but then wondered if it hurt Peeta.

I thought I had caused him enough pain so I lay on my side between his body and his arm. I rested my head on his shoulder and looked down at his bandaged wrist and hand. I gently slid my fingers in between his and softly gripped his hand. I felt a small squeeze and lifted my head up. I thought for sure Peeta had squeezed my hand like he used to when first taking hold of it or then he was trying to be reassuring. But when I looked at Peeta's face I could tell he had not reacted to my touch. It must have been an involuntary muscle spasm.

As I laid my head back down I slowly drifted off to sleep. I slept best I had for a long time.

I felt fully rested when I woke up. As I opened my eyes, I jerked my head up as I remembered where I was. I slowly loosened my fingers from around Peeta's hand and sat up.

I looked around for a clock. It said it was 6 am. I knew I needed to get back to my room before a doctor came to check on Peeta or before Prim saw I was gone. She would probably know where I was and would not think it was a good idea.

Before I left, I leaned over and gently kissed Peeta on the check and smoothed another lock of hair from his face. I saw a single tear gently slide down the crease of his eye. I wiped it away with my thumb.

**I hope you liked this chapter. It is probably my favorite so far:)**


	6. Chapter 6

**So, I wasn't planning to update this soon but the idea just came to me last night. Just wondering, how old did you think Finnick was? In my mind he was about 35, when I was rereading some parts from the 2nd book I figured out he was only around 25. That kind of changes my mental picture of him a little. I just thought that was interesting. Enjoy this chapter!) **

As I enter the observation room I am surprised to see someone standing at the window looking in at Peeta. My first thought is that Haymitch has come back to chew me out again. But as I look at the features of the visitor I quickly realize it is not Haymitch. This person is taller and more muscular. He stands with his arms crossed over his chest. I recognize the silhouette but my mind cannot place it. I see his head turn as I close the door. Then I hear that voice.

"Hey, girl on fire."

I step closer and see Finnick's smile. It has been a while since I had seen him. He reaches over and gives me a hug. He pulls me so close that if it were anyone else I would feel uncomfortable. He holds me back as if taking me all in.

"It's not like it has been that long," I say.

"I know," he says turning again to look at Peeta. "So how have you been?" he asks.

"Not too bad."

"Really, Katniss?" I can almost see in the dark his right eyebrow arch up and I can hear the tone in his voice. "How's Peeta?" his voice is now very serious.

"Not so good. According to Haymitch, the doctors thought they could see improvement, but then we had some trouble the other day…" I trail off not wanting to go over the details.

"Haymitch told me about that." He replied in his ever cool voice.

I could feel my muscles become tense. I didn't want to have to defend myself to Finnick like I had to Haymitch. Along with the anger I feel the sadness welling up inside.

"I was just trying to help. He was having nightmares and wouldn't wake up," I find myself blurting out as the tears begin to roll down my checks. I try to hold in my sobs but fail.

Finnick leans over and pulls me into his arms. I press my face into his strong chest and sob. He just stands there holding me close with his chin on my head. I know he has felt my pain before. When I am finished I push away from his chest. He loosens his arms and I look into his kind, sea green eyes.

"How is Annie?" I barely chock out.

"She is good," he quietly replies.

I lean back on his chest but look at Peeta lying on his bed. Finnick continues to hold me close as he slowly rocks back and forth.

Finnick's voice finally breaks the silence, "Annie and I are getting married."

I pull away and look up at his face. There is a small smile, but his eyes are still pained.

"When?"

"In a few weeks. I was hoping Peeta would be able to make us a cake. You always said he was the best."

It is I who smile just a little. The memories of Prim pulling on my arm as we hurry to look in the window of the bakery come flooding to my mind. Then memories of the burned down bakery flash before me. I must have winced because I feel Finnick's arms tighten around me.

"Shhhh, it's okay," he whispers as he begins to rock again.

I am guessing this is what he does to Annie when she is having one of her spells. He stands with his arms around me for a while longer before he releases me.

"Well, I should get back to Annie. See you later, girl on fire." I imagine his eye winking as he says the last sentence. He takes one more glance at Peeta and walks to the door.

"Don't quit hoping. He'll come around," Finnick says as he closes the door.

As I stand there thinking, my mind is still trying to decide if Finnick really came to check up on Peeta, or if Haymitch sent him to spy on me. It doesn't really matter. It was nice to see him and have someone who really understands what I am going through.

Even after being held by Finnick, I still yearn for Peeta's arms. I walk into the room and crawl up on the bed and lay my head on his chest. I begin to wander if I will ever feel his strong arms envelope me.

I begin to tell Peeta about my day- hunting with Gale, lunch with Prim, and weapons practice with Beetee. Then I tell him about Finnick stopping by to visit.

"I think you're going to like Finnick," I tell him as I remember how much I disliked Finnick when we first met. I don't know if Peeta still blames Finnick for our separation in the quell.

After I run out of things to say I just lay there listening to Peeta's heart beat which soon lulls me to sleep.

I am woken by Peeta's groaning.

"Katniss, Katniss, come back," he barely whispers.

"I'm here," I say as I reach down and take his hand in mine. I feel a little squeeze and then he is still again.

I lie there for a little longer wondering how much longer the drugs would keep him out and how he will react when he is fully awake again. My body shudders as I remember him screaming at me. I do not wish to ever have that happen again.

As I am brought back to reality, I glance over at the clock and see that it is 5:30. My body wants to lie back down, but my mind tells me I better not or I might not wake up before someone comes in.

I stand up and squeeze Peeta's hand one more time before letting go. I walk out the door as I hear Finnick's words echo in my head.

"Don't quit hoping."


	7. Chapter 7

**So I thought of what might be happening in Peeta's mind. Here is what I came up with. I think this would be during ch 6.**

Peeta's POV

My mind becomes less cloudy. I try to concentrate really hard on what is going on. I open my eyes, but my vision is still a little blurry.

I soon am aware that I am in a small empty room with white walls. I try to move my arms and legs but can't. I can't remember where I am. Am I still back at the capitol? I shudder as I think of the pain I have endured. I listen for the screams that I heard so often, but I don't hear any. I just lay in the silence wondering what will happen next. Will the doctors be in to see how I am progressing?

I close my eyes as I try to remember what happened before my mind went blank.

All of a sudden I get this very jittery sensation. I feel this stabbing feeling in my head. My mind becomes a series of pictures that flash before me. I try to focus but my mind just keeps racing. I force my eyes open, but still the pictures flash by.

I think harder when all of a sudden I remember Katniss. She is on top of me shaking me and screaming something I do not understand. Her eyes are wild with rage.

Then my mind races to another memory. I am lying on the ground near a stream. I hear a voice calling my name. It is Katniss. She walks by holding her bow ready to shoot. I lay perfectly still so she does not see me. I hear voices in my head saying, "Kill her. Kill her."

My mind begins to race again and I am running through the forest. I can hear someone behind me. I try to run faster but I trip on the root of and tree and tumble down a small slope. I can feel pain in my arm; I think I might have broken it. When I open my eyes I see Katniss standing over me with a sword in hand. "You're too easy," she says as she swings the sword down and cuts my leg. Blood begins to pour from my leg as I hear her laugh.

Again my mind goes fuzzy and I force my eyes open. I am still strapped to the bed in the white room. In my mind I still hear the words- Kill Katniss!

My body is cold and clammy, but I feel some warmth on my left side. I look down to see Katniss resting on my chest. She looks so peaceful with her eyes closed and a slight smile on her face.

I begin to wonder what is going on. If she really wanted to kill me why wouldn't she have done it by now?

I close my eyes and my mind goes back to a happy place with me sitting on the beach with Katniss. I open the oyster and give her the pearl. Then we kiss.

But then my mind jumps ahead into the forest. This time I am running to something not away like before.

I cry out, "Katniss, Katniss, come back!"

I remember this memory. It is during the quell when Katniss leaves me to run the wire down to the water for Beetee. I remember hearing the fighting and running through the trees to try and find her. My bad leg seems to slow me down. I call for her again. I'm panting because of the effort it takes for me to run. Then I hear her voice in my head. "I'm here," she says and I feel her hand in mine.

I don't know if it is real or not but my body seems to relax.

Then my mind seems to drift back into the clouds and goes blank.

**Sorry this is so short. Next chapter will be back to Katniss POV and longer. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry it took so long to post. I was gone on vacation to SC and FL. It gave me lots of time to think of details for this and future chapters. It was also cool because one day my sisters and I took a little trip to Shelby, NC where they had been filming some of the Hunger Game movie. They were gone, but a security guy pointed out a few places they filmed at. We will see if we recognize any of it in the movie. I think you will really enjoy this chapter. Oh, I don't think I said it yet, but obviously I don't own the Hunger Games:)**

As I slip into the observation room I look into where Peeta lies on his bed as usual. But this time he is lying there staring up at the ceiling. The sleeping medicine was finally wearing off, but I know he will still fall back to sleep easily and be drowsy.

I want to run right in but the thoughts of the last time I had faced him while awake still haunt me. I can still hear his screams in my mind. I can still see him pulling on the restraints. His wrists are still wrapped in bandages.

I stand at the glass and watch for a while. He seems so calm.

"Maybe he will be in his right mind?" I think as I walk over to the door and open in just a little.

His eyes look at the door immediately and squint to see who is there.

I stand in the darkness still not sure if I should go in. Part of me feels like I am being pulled in while part of my mind is telling me to shut the door.

"Who's there?" Peeta says as he stares intently at the door.

"It's me, Katniss," I say softly as I step into the light.

His eyes focus on me and I can see his body become tense. As we stare at each other neither of us move.

All of a sudden his pupils get very large and his eyes seem very unfocused. He clenches his fists very tightly. I am beginning to get frightened, so I take a step back as my hand begins to feel the door for the knob. The whole time I do not take my eyes off Peeta.

After what seems like a long time his pupils shrink back to normal and his eyes focus in on me again. He continues to clench his fists.

"Peeta?" I say as I take a step forward.

That only seems to make him tenser, so I freeze. After a moment I take another step forward.

Something inside him seems to snap as he begins to pull wildly on his wrists and his eyes get a very fearful look in them.

"Get away from me!" he yells.

I take a few steps back so I am up against the door but that does not make him stop. As he continues to pull on his wrists I can see little spots of blood forming on the bandages.

"Stop!" I half yell, but that only makes him pull harder.

"Quit pulling on the restraints!" I begin to plead, "You're hurting yourself."

He keeps pulling with all his might.

"You're going to kill me… if I don't kill you first", he huffs as he had been fighting for some time.

I can see the blood continue to seep through the bandages around his wrists.

"Stop, please!" I continue to plead.

Finally I slump to the floor with my knees bent and put my head between my arms as I feel the helplessness overwhelm me. As I sit on the floor with me head in my arms, I can hear Peeta fighting the restraints less and less.

Finally all is quiet except for his heavy breathing. I keep my head down because I am afraid he will freak out again. After a long silence I hear a quiet voice.

"Katniss, are you okay?"

"No," I answer without looking up. My voice sounds as if I am very close to tears.

I keep my head down for a while longer, and then slowly begin to lift it. I find Peeta still watching me but his eyes seem much softer now. It reminds me of the hurt look he had when he had held me tight after a nightmare during the Victory Tour. The look that said I'm sorry but I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do either, so we just sit and look at each other.

After a bit Peeta tries to adjust his position. As he does his wrist ketches on the restraint. I see him wince in pain and close his eyes tightly. The muscles in his hand go stiff.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly.

He just shakes his head a little still keeping his eyes closed.

I slowly get up and walk over to the bed. I put my hand gently on his shoulder. He opens his eyes and I can see the intense pain in them. I look down at his wrist and can see the blood continuing to ooze out of the bandage. I know I need to unwrap it and take a look, but I am not sure if Peeta will let me.

I move slowly down to the restraint and begin to unbuckle it. At this point I don't think of my own safety only that I have to help Peeta.

After his wrist is free, I begin to carefully to unwrap it. Peeta winces occasionally if I pull because the blood has dried and the bandage is stuck together. When I see how deep the cut is I know I need to clean it.

"I'm going to get some water and clean bandages," I say as I gently lay his arm down on the bed.

"No, don't leave me," he whispers.

"I'll only be gone for a minute."

"Please, don't go. Last time you left me I was captured by the capital. What if they get you this time? I can't bear to think of what they will do to you."

I smile lightly and walk over to his head to gently push back the hair that is almost matted to his forehead and kiss him on the check.

As I walk out of the room I hear him whisper, "Please don't leave."

I walk down the hall to the supply closet. I had been here many times when visiting Prim or mom. I am busy getting the supplies I will need when I hear a frantic voice behind me.

"Please, help me."

I turn to see a woman cradling a young girl in her arms. There is a bloody cloth on her forehead.

"She fell off the bed and hit her head on the corner of the dresser. It won't stop bleeding."

"I'm kind of in a hurry." I start to say, but see the mother's concerned look and decide I will help. Peeta would want me to if he knew what was happening. I lead the woman over to a small table.

"Let me take a look at it," I say as I reach up to remove the cloth. It is not as bad as I thought it might be. I get some more medicine from the closet and gently apply it to her head, then wrap a bandage snuggly around her head.

"That should be fine until the morning. Come back and have one of the doctors look at it then."

The woman gives me a hug before she picks up the little girl. The girl gives me a sleepy wave as they walk down the hall.

I quickly gather up my supplies and head back to Peeta.

When I enter the room I can hear Peeta whispering something. As I get closer I can just barely make out what he is saying.

"Katniss. They took Katniss."

I can see his eyes are closed as he flops his head back and forth. I am not sure if he is delirious with pain or if he is sleeping. I set down the supplies and walked over to the bed.

I gently take both sides of his face in my hand and say, "Peeta, it's all right. I'm back now."

As he opens his eyes there is still pain but also relief.

I get a chair from the observation room and sit down to get to work. I carefully wash the blood off of his wrist. He still jerks a little if I touch a very tender spot, but he does not fight me at all. After it is clean I let it air dry as I unwrap and clean the other wrist. Then I put medicine on them and redress them. When I am completely finished I stand up to stretch.

"Thank you," Peeta says as I set the roll of bandages down.

"It was nothing," I say as I look into his blue eyes. I can see that most of the pain is gone.

Without thinking I reach up to brush the hair out of his face. I feel the sweat on my hand and look down to see his face and chest are covered with sweat.

I can only imagine how hot and sticky he must be feeling. I know how that feels as that was the way I was when I would wake up from one of my nightmares. I would usually take a cool shower to help me relax. Obviously Peeta cannot do that.

I think for a moment, then without a word I walk to the door and go back to the closet and where I find a small tub and fill it with cool water. I pick up a clean cloth and go back in the room.

Peeta raises an eyebrow as I set the tub on the bed and began to dip the cloth in it.

"It will help you relax so you can sleep," I say as I gently wipe down his face.

Then I do his chest and lastly his arms. As I work quietly I can see and feel his body relax.

When I am picking up the tub after I am finished Peeta speaks for the first time, "What, you're not going to take off my pants and wipe down my legs?"

My head jerks up to see a little smirk on his face. He must have been thinking back to the first arena when I had been so squeamish of having to remove his pants to clean his leg.

"I don't think so," I say as I smile a little too and shake my head.

When I look up after setting the bucket and cloth by the door I see that Peeta is still looking at me but with glassy eyes. He is almost asleep, but still enough awake to see me standing there.

"Katniss, please," he whispers as he pats the bed. I can see where he has scooted over to show there is room for me.

I climb up on the bed next to him and I lay my head on his chest. He uses his free arm to pull me in close and lightly kisses the top of my head.

"I love you," he whispers as he drifts off to sleep.

I am soon asleep also.


	9. Chapter 9

**I hope you are as much a hopeless (hopefull) romantic as I am. Enjoy!**

As I hear mom and Prim breathing deeply in their sleep I slip out of my bed. I walk out into the hall like I have done for the last several nights. I pass by the people that I always see as they head back to their rooms for the night. At first we just looked away not wanting anyone in our business. Now we smile and nod to each other and sometimes greet each other with a hello.

Tonight I make a detour down the long hall and past my usual elevator. I have a small errand to do before I head to the hospital floor.

I make my way to the cafeteria but enter a door to the left. It leads to the kitchen. I have been in here several times when I have brought in the game that Gale and I hunted in the forest, but I am not here for that reason.

My eyes sweep across the counter that is mostly empty. One thing about district 13, they never waste or make anything in excess. Whatever is made that day is eaten that day. At least you never have to worry about the food being stale.

As my eyes pass over the counter near the stove I see the thing I have been looking for. A large burlap sack with the number 26 printed on it. That is the sack that I am assigned when I hunt. I walk over to the sack and open it. I can already smell the contents. It is nice and warm so I carefully roll the opening shut so the heat will not escape.

As I lift the bag up I spot a small piece of paper underneath. I read the note:

Katniss,

Small red bowl in the fridge is also for you.

Enjoy, Greasy Sae.

I open the fridge and find the small red bowl with a lid. I balance it on top of the burlap sack in my arms and head out of the kitchen. I am now a little more alert as I walk down the hall. I know there are punishments for taking food out of the cafeteria, especially in the middle of the night.

I stealthfully glide down the hall until I come to the elevator. I push the button and hold my breath as I wait for it to open. I let the air of my lungs when the door opens and no one is there. I get in and push the number for the hospital floor and wait.

As I exit the elevator I see no light coming from any of the rooms. That means I don't have to worry about any unexpected appearances from nurses or doctors that could be finishing late night visits. I make my way down the well-known hall to the observation room, which in turn lead to Peeta's room. The lights are always on and I feel sorry for him always having to sleep in a lit room, but it doesn't seem to bother him, plus I myself have slept a few nights there as well.

When I look in his room he is staring at the ceiling as usual, but I can't blame because there is nothing to look at anyway. I open the door and see his head turn in my direction.

"It's me, Peeta," I say in a quiet voice.

I'm not sure how he will react to my voice. But to my relief he smiles at my voice. It is a kind smile so I know I don't have to be on edge.

"What's in the bag?" he questions as I walk toward him.

"Just be patient," I say as I set the sack and bowl on the floor next to his bed. "Surely there is a way to let you sit up," I say as I circle the bed to look for levers or buttons.

"On this side," answers Peeta as he pats the right side of his bed with his still restrained hand. "The doctors sometimes sit me up for my treatments."

I don't know if I should ask about his treatments or not so I don't. I just push the button and the bed raises Peeta to a sitting position. Then I walk over and begin to unbuckle one of his wrists. When I turn to the other side Peeta shakes his head.

"Better not just in case I have one of my episodes."

"Maybe that's wise," I reply as I leave to retrieve a chair from the observation room and set it next to the bed. I set the sack and small red bowl carefully on the chair and tell Peeta to scoot over and he does. As I unroll the sack Peeta gets a good whiff of what's inside.

"Squirrel," he says and swallows. "Where did you get it?" he asks.

"From Greasy Sae, she owes me. I had been paying her triple the price for her food since the first arena," is my reply. "I figured you could use a good meal, because I know what the hospital food is like."

"It's not that bad."

"You've just gotten used to it, and you were probably starved in the capitol so anything is better than nothing," I reply. I smile and pat his cheek.

I open the first bowl, which has squirrel stew with fresh meat. Meat I had hunted earlier that day. I dig out a spoon and hand it to Peeta than pull out another one and dig in. We both eat for a while without saying much.

"This is so good," Peeta finally says between bites.

"I'll let Greasy Sae know it was to your liking," I say with a smile.

I guess we had both not realized what we had been missing from district 12, I think as I eagerly eat my fair share of the stew.

When the stew is gone I put the lid on the empty bowl and place it back in the sack. Then I pick up the red bowl that I had left sitting in the chair.

"Here, and for dessert I brought you some black berries. Sorry I couldn't get any biscuits and goat cheese to go with it. I don't think they make cheese. All the milk is used for the children to drink."

As I open the bowl Peeta's eyes get very big and his pupils dilate like I have seen them do before. I feel my body tense like it does in the hunt when I am waiting for the prey to come out from behind the trees. I'm not sure if I should get up or just wait to see what he is going to do.

He whispers something I don't catch, but then says it a little louder.

"Nightlock. You're trying to kill me."

"What? No I'm not." I say as I quickly slide off the bed and away from Peeta. "You like blackberries. We used to eat them all the time."

"Sure, I remember them." Peeta says with a slightly sarcastic voice. "They are the ones you told me to pick in the first games. I would have eaten them if Foxface had not eaten them first and died. You were trying to kill me then too."

His face fills with anger.

"Well, you won't fool me this time," he sneers and throws the bowl at me.

Lucky for me Peeta does not have good aim. But as the bowl breaks against the wall a shard of glass bounces off and cuts into my forehead. It stings only a little but I can feel the blood begin to trickle down my face.

The crash seems to waken Peeta from his scary world. He looks over at me with his now soft blue eyes.

"What happened?" he asks. "Katniss, you're bleeding."

He looks at me and then at the broken bowl and berries scattered at my feet. I really don't know what to say so I just busy myself with picking up the mess. It all happened so quickly.

"I'm sorry, Katniss" he says as he begins to put two and two together. "I didn't mean to. I don't know what's wrong with me."

His hands begin to tremble. He lowers his head to cover it with his free hand and gets a look of severe pain on his face. As he grips his head tighter he groans.

"I don't want it to happen any more," he says through gritted teeth.

Peeta soon breaks down and begins to sob.

I walk over to the bed and sit beside him. I wrap my arms around him and lean my head on his shoulder to try to comfort him. I just let him cry because I know there is nothing I can do or say that will help. I know firsthand that sometimes you just have to cry out all your tears and frustrations.

Peeta finally releases his head, but just stares at the wall in silence.

"Sometimes I wish I would have eaten the nightlock you gave me in the first arena," Peeta says still staring blankly at the wall. "I have nothing left to live for anyway. My family is gone. 12 is gone too. What else is there for me?"

"You have me and Haymitch."

I can tell he is contemplating what I just said.

After a minute or two he slowly turns and looks at me with his penetrating, blue eyes when seeming out of the nowhere asks, "Why do you stay?"

I don't answer right away because my mind is trying to process what he just asked. So he repeats his question then just watches me with his sad but serious eyes.

"Why do you come visit me every night when I have tried to kill you, screamed at you, and say you're a mutt?"

"Because we take care of each other. You would do the same if I were the one who was tortured by the capitol."

_You would have done much more_, I think as I lift my hand to brush away the tears from his cheek. He shifts his head to avoid my hand.

"But look at me. I'm the mutt. I'm the monster. In my mind I always think that you are the mutt, but you're not, I am."

He stops to look down at his bare chest and runs his fingers across the scars that are so visible. "I'm hideous on the outside as well as on the inside," he says with his head lowered.

I gently lift his chin.

"No, you're not hideous. You're beautiful, both inside and out. You are the kindest, most compassionate person I know, Peeta. So what if you have scars. I have scars too."

I pull up my sleeve that reveals just a few of the many scars I have.

Peeta reaches out a shaky hand and gently runs his fingers along a deep scar that goes from my shoulder down to my elbow. I in turn reach my hand up to press it to one of his scars that is over his heart and I hold it there. I instantly feel his heart beating.

Without thinking I lean over to press my ear to his chest and wrap my arms around him. I hear one of the most comforting sounds I can think of, his heart beat.

The soft beating takes me back to a moment I can remember from my childhood. I can remember my dad's heartbeat when he would hold me after I had fallen or when I was afraid at night. He would sit on my bed and hold me close. He would usually sing me to sleep.

Peeta's hand brushing the hair back from my face brings me back to reality. I lean back and stare up at his kind blue eyes.

"You have the bluest eyes I have ever seen," I whisper as I smile and gently brush the hair back from his eyes. "Any girl who looks into those eyes will never even notice the scars," I continue.

We gaze into each other's eyes than I lean back against his chest and close my eyes. I listen to Peeta's heart beating rhythmically. It is almost enough to lull me to sleep.

After a short time I feels Peeta lean down and kiss the top of my head. I lift my head and kiss him ever so slightly on his lips and smile.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" he says as he continues to stare into my eyes.

I nod my head. I always do.

Without a word Peeta lies back against the bed and pulls me gently to his chest resting his arm against mine. I feel his fingers entwine between my own.

My fleeting thoughts are I need to take the big bowl back to the kitchen, and I hope no one misses the little red one.

I fall asleep to the beat of his heart and the deep rise and fall of his chest.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks to all who review. I really enjoy seeing what you think. **

It's late and I just returned from doing a propo in District 7. I have been gone for almost a week. I want to go see Peeta as soon as I can, but I am required to go to the hospital first because I have some cuts and burns that need to be treated. The worst is a deep cut on the inside of my right wrist.

I got in hurry to shoot down a capital hovercraft. The hovercraft was heading toward a building where I knew many of the refugees were hiding. I hit the hovercraft but the arrow sliced through my skin and some of the muscle and began blood began to gush everywhere so that was the end of me helping. I was taken back to our hovercraft where they wrapped it tightly. It had stopped bleeding by the time we lifted off but the doctor that was with us said it would need stitches.

So here I am trying to be as patient as I can while the nurse stitches me up.

After she is finished I decide I should go see mom and Prim before I visit Peeta. They always worry about me, plus it will give time for the doctors to clear out. I really don't want very many people knowing that I visit Peeta every night.

When I enter my room I find both mom and Prim waiting to see me. They both get up at once to hug me. Mom hugs me first and then Prim. Of course they ask me about my wounds since they both work in the hospital. Then I tell them about the propo.

After I am finished Prim asks, "Have you seen Peeta yet?"

"No, I just got released from getting fixed up. I plan on going right now. Why?"

Prim gets a very concerned look. "It's just that I overheard some of the doctors today and it sounded like he was not doing well."

Before she could say any more I ran out the door. I hurried down the hall to the elevator. As I got on and waited for the elevator to take me back to the hospital my mind flashed back to the last night I was with Peeta.

He had had that break down and said that he had nothing to live for. I had reassured him that I would always be there for him. I have obviously not been to see him in a while.

I get a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.

As soon as the doors open I dash down the long hallway. I hear many people telling me to slow down but I don't listen.

"Katniss, where's the fire?" I hear someone shout from an open door.

I stop suddenly in the hall and look back to see Finnick coming out of one of the rooms. The nurse is trying to finish up bandaging his arm. He had gone with me to District 7 and a bullet grazed his arm.

"I'm going to see Peeta. Prim says he is not doing very well," I say as I begin to walk down the hall.

"I'll come as soon as I can," I hear Finnick say as I turn the corner.

When I get to the observation room I walk in to find Haymitch and a doctor gazing into Peeta's room. I look over and see Peeta. He looks horrible. His face seems very thin and pale. There is a monitor and IV hooked up to him. Without a second thought I hurry in the room.

The doctor takes a few steps toward the door to try to stop me, but I hear Haymitch say, "Let her go."

He looks worse the closer I get. His breathing is very labored and his eyes are closed.

"Peeta," I choke out as I gently smooth the hair out of his face. He does not respond at all.

I leave Peeta and head back into the observation room.

"What happened?" I ask as I stare with sullen eyes at Haymitch.

Haymitch turns to me and sighs loudly before he begins to explain.

"Well, sweetheart, here is what I was told. The day after you left for district 7 Peeta asked the doctors where you were. The doctors simply told him that you were gone. They did not think much about it. The next day he asked again and the doctors told him the same thing. Peeta began mumbling about you being gone and having no one left. Later that day when the nurse came in to feed him, he refused to eat. He said he had nothing left to live for. The nurse told the doctors and they tried to tell him that you were only gone for a propo and would be back at the end of the week. He began to yell and say the doctors were all liars. He refused food and water again the next day. That is when they sedated him and put in the IV. But even with an IV he continued to go down hill and get weaker."

"Why didn't you talk to him?" I butted in. "He would have listened to you."

"I tried but he wouldn't believe me either."

"So what, you were just going to let him die." By now my voice was getting louder almost to a yell. "You and I had a deal. We would do whatever it took to protect Peeta." I turn to Haymitch with blurry eyes as the tears begin to come. "You said you would keep him safe," I sob.

Quickly my sadness has turned to anger. "You promised me you would take care of him."

I lunge at Haymitch and begin to beat on his chest. The doctor takes a few steps toward us, but Haymitch does nothing. He just stands there and takes the blows.

Almost immediately my swings begin to slow. I am exhausted from my trip and I am beginning to feel a lot of pain in my injured wrist. I keep hitting even though it can't possibly hurt too much. It does make me feel a little better.

Soon I feel Haymitch's arms come around me and I quit hitting altogether. I just lean on his chest and sob between breaths.

When I finally quiet down, Haymitch speaks calmly. "We did all that we could, but Peeta would not listen to reason once he thought you were dead. We tried several times to talk to him, but each time he either still insisted that you were bad or he would just glare at us. I only hope that he will pull through."

"You…you think it's too late?" I look at Haymitch with my eyebrows wrinkled together, tears on the verge of flowing again.

"I don't know. I don't know how much longer he can survive if he doesn't eat."

I think about what Haymitch has just said and just stand there.

"I…I have to help Peeta," I say as I push against Haymitch's embrace. He lowers his arm and lets me go.

As I enter Peeta's room again I am trying to clear my head enough to decide what I should do.

"Peeta, I'm here," I say as I cup his head in my hands. I gently kiss his parched lips.

I decide that the first thing I need to do is unstrap his wrists and ankles. I know I am not in any danger. Even in my tired state there is no way Peeta could hurt me considering his weakened condition.

"What are you doing? You can't let him loose."

I glance up from what I am doing to see the doctor coming in.

"Let her do it," says Haymitch who is following close behind.

"But she can't just do what she wants."

"Look, what ever she does can't make things any worse. He might not make it much longer."

I stop and cringe at those word and then continue to work on unbuckling the straps. I hear the door open once again and there is a gasp.

"Man he looks bad," I hear Finnick say in a hushed voice. I can feel his strong hand on my shoulder. "So, what's the plan?" he asks.

"I don't know I say, but I can't stand to see him strapped to this horrible bed anymore."

As I finish the last restraint I turn to look at Finnick for help.

"Well, they probably won't let us take him out of this room," Finnick thinks out loud. "And we can't just lay him on the floor…Wait I have an idea."

He dashes past Haymitch and the doctor and through the door.

Soon he comes back with an armload of blankets. "Here, we can pile these on the floor and make a decent place to lay him down." We fold the blankets and lay them on the floor in one of the corners.

"There, that will make a decent bed."

Finnick walks over to Peeta and carefully picks him up, making sure not to pull on any of the wires or tubes. I push the monitor and IV over to the corner, while Finnick lays Peeta on the makeshift bed. It's not the best but it has to be more comfortable than the thin cushion on his hospital bed.

I sit cross-legged on the floor next to Peeta and lightly stroke his check.

"How do we get him to eat?" I think out loud.

"Maybe you can just force-feed him," Finnick suggests.

Things are quiet for a long while. I just cradle Peeta's head in my hand while brushing my thumb back and forth across his cheek.

After a few minutes I feel Peeta move a little and see his eyelids open ever so slightly. I quickly switch to a kneeling position and lean over to look at Peeta's face.

"Peeta, can you hear me?"

He blinks a bit, but his eyes are still almost closed.

"Katniss," he barely whispers.

"Yes, I'm here."

"I'm…glad…you…came…back," Peeta whispers. He is so weak that he has to take a ragged breath between each word.

I try to hold it back, but the tears begin to flow.

"Peeta, Peeta," is all I can manage to say as the tears begin to drip down my face.

Peeta slowly reaches a very shaky hand up to my check to wipe away some of my tears.

"Don't…cry," he manages to say.

This only makes me cry harder. I lean down to rest my forehead on his chest as the tears continue to come. I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Katniss?"

As I lift my head I see Finnick's intense sea green eyes.

"Since he's awake we really need to try to get him to eat something."

I nod my head and try to think of where we can get food.

"There is always broth in the kitchen and maybe some bread too."

"Do you know where to get it?"

"Yes."

"Why don't you go get it, and I'll stay here with Peeta?"

I hesitate but then get up when I realize it will be much faster then trying to explain to Finnick where to go.

"I'll be right back," I say as I lean down to kiss Peeta on the cheek.

I leave the room and head down the hall. I almost jog all the way to the kitchen.

Once I get there I find the broth and some bread. I know the bread is what they made for breakfast, but I figure they won't miss a piece or two. I quickly warm up the broth. I grab a spoon as I hurry out the kitchen. On my way back I get a bottle of water out of the supply closet.

When I get back I see Finnick sitting next to Peeta. He is talking about our trip to district 7. I clear my throat to get Finnick's attention. I hold up the bread and bowl of soup. Finnick smiles and quickly finishes his story.

He stands up to help me lift Peeta to a sitting position against the wall. I sit beside him.

"Here take a drink." I lift the bottle to his lips to give him little sips of water. Then I spoon some of the broth into his mouth. "Now try some bread," I say as I break off small pieces and feed them to him.

When the bread and broth are gone I give him the rest of the water to drink. As he finishes the last sips of water I notice his eyes are beginning to droop. I can tell he is really fighting to stay awake.

I take the bowl and spoon to the table in the observation room so I will remember to return it to the kitchen.

By the time I return Peeta is already sleeping. I think about trying to get him to lie down but by now everyone else is gone and I don't think I can move him on my own. I decide to just sit next to him. I lean my head on his shoulder and wrap my arm around his. Before I drift off to sleep I entwine my fingers with his.


	11. Chapter 11

I head up to the hospital floor as usual. I don't really even wait for mom and Prim to come back to our room. They both know that I visit Peeta most nights.

As I enter the observation room I glance in to where Peeta is usually laying on his bed. This time I see that the bed is empty. I am a little worried because I don't know where Peeta has been taken. But when I walk into his room I find a piece of paper lying on his bed. It has my name neatly printed on it. I unfold the paper and find a note reading:

Katniss,

Peeta has been moved to normal living quarters as you have requested. You will receive a key and instructions from Beetee.

Plutarch

My heart skips a beat as I grab the paper and head down to the secret defense area. Lucky for me I have been down there many times. I visit with Beetee and Gale down there a lot, mostly just to get away and talk.

When I enter the secret defense hall I find it buzzing with people. People look in my direction and either smile or say "hello" and go about their business. I walk down the hall to the room I am well familiar with. I knock twice and walk right in. I see Beetee at a table hard at work. He glances up and smiles.

"Well, hello, Katniss. I thought I would be seeing you tonight."

"Hi, Beetee. What are you working on?" I head over to take a peek.

"Oh, nothing much. Just a gun to be used to shoot nets. But I suspect you are not here just to check on my handy work."

"Not really, Plutarch left me a note saying you had something for me."

"Oh yes…How is Peeta getting along?"

"Better I think." I follow Beetee over to his desk in the corner.

"Here they are," he says as he picks up a key and something I do not recognize.

"What is that?" I ask a bit puzzled as I lean closer to see what is in Beetee's hand.

"It's a bracelet."

"Yes, I can see that but what is it for? I know you don't make jewelry."

"You're absolutely right. This is a special bracelet. You are to wear it when you visit Peeta. President Coin agreed to your demands of letting Peeta have his own quarters. But we still are not sure that he will not have more of his episodes. This will protect you if Peeta attacks you. You see this white circle. If you touch this anywhere on Peeta's skin it will send a small dose of tranquillizer into his system. It won't harm him just put him out. It will also at the same time send a distress signal to a number of communicator cuffs including Haymitch, Gale, Plutarch, and a few of Peeta's doctors. If any of these people receive this signal they will immediately come to Peeta's room to see if you are in any danger or need any help. This bracelet was designed to prevent Peeta from inflicting too much damage."

He looks at me to see if I understand.

"What happens if I or someone else touches that white circle?"

"Oh, it won't do anything. It is set to respond only to Peeta's DNA."

"It can do that?"

"Yes, it is quite amazing what we can do."

I just shake my head in agreement. Beetee hands me the bracelet and I slip it on my wrist.

"Here, you will want this too." He hands me a key with the number 427 printed on it. "You will need this to get into Peeta's room. His door is special too. It locks from both sides. This key only works to get in. To get out you will use your right pointer finger on the keypad and then it will ask for voice recognition. Your pass word is Mockingjay."

"How does it know my voice?"

"I just used some of the clips from your propos. It was really very simple."

"Oh."

Beetee and I talk about other things for a while. Then I look at the clock. It is 11pm.

"I should probably get going."

"Yes, yes, I will see you later."

I head out the door and back down the hall. There are still many people milling around in the halls. As I walk down the hall to the elevator I pull the key out of my pocket to check on the room number. I head up to the 4th floor and walk down the long hall. The farther I walk the fewer people I see.

When I finally come to room 427 I see a sign on the wall. It says

Caution:

Solitary confinement

Authorized personal only

Well, I guess I am authorized since I have been given a key.

I insert the key and pull on the handle. The door slowly opens. I almost feel like I should knock but I decide against it in case Peeta is sleeping. The room looks pretty much just like all the other rooms. When I shut the door I turn to see the finger pad and speaker on the wall next to the door. Beetee's instructions seem easy enough.

I jump as I hear movement. I turn slowly around. I relax when I realize it must be Peeta moving around in his sleep.

I walk over to the bed. There are dim lights all over the room. In the light I can see Peeta sleeping very soundly. It makes me smile as I think of how long it has been since Peeta has slept in a real bed. It has been since we were in the training center right before the quell.

I sit on the edge of the bed and just watch him sleep. I reach out my hand and want to brush his blond hair off his face, but I refrain because I don't want to wake him. Soon I can feel myself drifting off. My head bobs several times.

I finally walk to the other side of the bed and lay down. I just stare at his peaceful expression until sleep overcomes me.

In my dreams I am walking down a hallway that is similar to ours but it is dim and the walls look very dirty. I glance at the doors as I pass them. I am looking for one but I can't remember which one. After a long time I come to a door that is open a crack. I hear strange noises coming from inside.

My curiosity gets the better of me as I begin to push the door open. Inside I see Peeta strapped to a table and several doctors standing around him. One is holding a syringe filled with green, glowing liquid. He is bringing to closer to Peeta's arm. Peeta's eyes are huge and he is squirming around. He can't scream because his mouth is covered.

"Stop!" I scream.

The doctors all turn to face me. Then they get scary grins on their faces.

"Welcome, Katniss" says one doctor. "We were hoping you would come see us."

Before I can react I am grabbed from behind and am carried over to a table that is identical to the one Peeta is strapped to. I look at Peeta, as I am strapped down. His eyes are sad as he shakes his head. Soon a doctor comes over. He is holding a syringe with the same green liquid.

"What a shame that we don't need you anymore. President Coin says she is tired of playing games with the girl on fire." His face says he is not sorry at all.

All of a sudden I feel a sharp pain in my arm. Then it feels like fire is coursing through my body. I cry out and writhe in pain.

"Stop, please," I beg, but the pain continues. I lay there with tears streaming down my face. Somewhere in the back of my head I hear a voice.

"Katniss, Katniss." It is barely more than a whisper, but I can feel the pain leaving. "Katniss," the voice says again a little louder this time.

Then I feel some pressure in my hand. I begin to slowly come out of my dream. My eyes open and I look around. I turn to look at my hand. A familiar hand is there holding mine. My eyes travel up the arm to find Peeta's kind eyes watching me.

"You were having a nightmare," he smiles and squeezes my hand just a bit.

I feel a small smile cross my own face. We just lie there and look at each other, and then I pull myself closer and kiss him softly on the cheek.

"Are you feeling better?" I say quietly as I lay my head back on the pillow.

"I think, but I still feel pretty weak. How did you get them to put me in this room?"

"Well…" I hesitate and roll over to lean on my arm.

"Come on you can tell me."

"It's a kind of a long story."

"It's not like I'm going anywhere," Peeta says and gives me a look.

"Okay, here goes. First of all, how much of the last week do you remember?"

Peeta looks at the ceiling. "I remember that the doctors told me that you were dead and that I wouldn't eat."

"Well that is kind of right. The truth is I was gone to district 7 for a propo. When I got back and came to see you, Haymitch told me about you refusing to eat. Finnick and I moved you to a makeshift bed of blankets because I couldn't stand to see you strapped to that bed anymore. I feed you some bread and broth. But that doesn't matter much. Anyway this morning I went to command and told them I refused to be the mockingjay unless they gave you a room of your own."

Peeta's eyes got very big. "You really told them that?"

"Yes."

"And they just went along with it?"

"Well not at first. First they told me it was impossible because of your problems. They said that they could not just have you walking around the district. So I told them to just switch the door around so it would lock on the inside. They said it could not be done. Then I said 'Fine you just won't have a mockingjay then.' So then they talked it over and said they would figure something out. And here you are in your very own room."

Peeta just looked at me for a few moments. I could tell he did not know what to saw. He finally let out a deep breath and said, "Thanks, Katniss."

I smile and reach for his hand and squeeze it.

"It was the right thing to do," I say as I roll back over to stare at the ceiling.

"They could still make your life miserable." Peeta states and I can feel his eyes watching me.

"I'll deal with that if it happens. Don't worry about me. Just get some rest."

We both just lie there in silence. After a bit I feel Peeta's grip begin to loosen. I can tell by his breathing that he is falling back to sleep. It is probably good for him to get plenty of sleep. I continue to hold his hand while I wait for sleep to come once again. Soon we are both sound asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Thought I would update before I leave for the weekend. I hope you like it.**

As soon as I finish my evening workout with Boggs I run back to my room. I take a quick shower and talk a bit with mom and Prim.

Mom is worried because of all the training I do during the day and then I spend time with Peeta at night. I try to explain that it is the only time the doctors are not in Peeta's room and that I do sleep some while I'm with Peeta and most of that sleep is free of nightmares so I am probably getting better rest even if it is fewer hours

Mom waves me off as I kiss her and Prim goodnight and grab the package off the table as I head out the door. The package contains a note pad and some pencils that Beetee gave me.

When I was visiting Beetee and Gale this afternoon I was looking at some of the diagrams that they had drawn up for some kind of bomb. That had lead us to talking about the quell and how Peeta had drawn the map of the arena. I told Beetee how much Peeta enjoyed sketching. Beetee said I could take some paper and pencils for Peeta, because he had plenty and could always get more.

I hurry down the hall. I am excited to give Peeta the package. It has been almost a week since Peeta has had his own room and I can see he has regained most of his strength.

I stop at the door and enter Peeta's room as quietly as I can. I don't want to wake him if he is asleep. After I close the door I turn around. I almost jump right out of my skin. In the darkness I see a shadow of someone sitting in bed. I am sure it is Peeta. He does not move or speak.

Finally he says, "I knew you would come, just like the doctors you always come." I take a step back. The tone of his voice seems very dark and I am beginning to feel a little freaked out.

"Of course, I came. Don't you want me to come visit?"

"You mean spy on me."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're not fooling me with pretending to care about me. I know the doctors send you in to spy on me. The doctors here are no different that the doctors in the capitol."

"But, Peeta, these doctors are trying to help you."

"Are you sure? They do the same thing as the others. They hook me up to machines and make me watch videos."

"These videos are different. They are really what happened not like the ones the capitol doctors altered and then forced you to watch."

"How do you know?" he said low and hateful. "You weren't at the capitol. You don't know what they showed me. You don't have any idea what I went through."

"You're right I wasn't there, I don't know exactly what happened, but I know they brainwashed you into believing lies and that they tortured you," I said in a hushed voice.

Peeta's eyes closed to little more than slits. "How do I know you aren't lying to me now, just trying to make me believe what you want me to believe."

"Peeta, why would I lie to you?"

"Why not? You've lied to me before. You lied about the rebellion. You lied about what you and Haymitch talked about before the arena. Why not lie some more?"

We both stood in the heavy silence, Peeta glaring and me with eyes wide in disbelief.

"Oh yeah, you also lied about caring for me in the first games. You only did it to save yourself."

That last comment hurt terribly. I felt like he had stabbed me with several knives. I closed my eyes to fight back the tears and anger I could feel welling up inside of me.

I didn't know what to do or say so I turned to leave. I was not just going to let him talk to me like that. He had no idea how much I had fought for him both in the arena and here in district 13. I stood there with my finger centimeters away from the keypad.

"Sure leave, just like you did at the quell. Just like you to leave when it gets tough."

My anger gets the better of me. I wheel around and stalk over to where he is sitting. I raise my hand to slap him across the face.

"Go ahead, you can't hurt me anymore. You already ripped out my heart after the games."

My hand is inches from his check when his hand flies up and grabs my wrist. It is the wrist with the bracelet that Beetee instructed me to wear. I instantly feel his grip loosen then he sways a bit and slumps over on me. I am able to push his body over the other way so he is slumped on the bed.

I just stand there a bit not sure of what to do next. Then I remember Beetee saying that the bracelet would also send some kind of distress signal to some communicator cuffs. I decide to wait outside so they will see I am okay and not come breaking down the door.

I don't know how long it will take so I slump down in the hall to wait. I find the package is still in my hand so I just lean it against the wall beside me.

It is only a few minutes when Gale comes barreling around the corner. He stops short when he sees me sitting against the door.

"Katniss, are you okay?"

I push myself up and nod. I think he can tell I am shaken up because he walks over and closes his arms around me. I lean my head on his chest. Soon I hear more feet coming quickly down the hall. I look up to see Haymitch and two doctors.

"What happened? Are you okay?" questions Haymitch.

"I'm fine," I say as I raise my head. "But something is wrong with Peeta."

Everyone looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Let's talk about it in his room," suggests Haymitch.

We all file into Peeta's room where he is still slumped over in his bed. The doctors head over to Peeta and move him to a more comfortable position and then take all of his vital signs.

"He seems to be resting comfortably," says one doctor.

"Now tell us what happened," the other doctor says with a concerned look.

"I came to see Peeta just like I have for the past week. But tonight something was different. Something was wrong with Peeta. It wasn't like one of his regular episodes. He seemed very dark and hateful." I look at the doctors to see if they have any explanations.

The doctors glance at each other as if trying to decide what to say. "Well, we are not sure what happened, but we did start giving him his treatments again. We had stopped when he was so weak because we were not sure if his body could handle both the physical and mental strain," one doctor commented.

The other doctor continued, "Probably some of the videos we are using are similar to the ones that the capital altered. These may be pulling up old memories that Peeta's mind was trying to suppress."

"Yes, you know like when your mind seems to erase really bad times in your life," the first doctor cuts in. "Those memories are not gone, but just stored away somewhere in the recesses of your mind. Then when a certain thing happens or you see a certain object it triggers that horrible thought."

"So what will snap him out of this dark mood?"

"We are not sure. He may be like this for a while since we need to continue with his treatments. We are hoping to be able to replace the altered memories with real ones. But since the highjacking process is so secretive it is hard to know exactly how to counteract it."

"Should Katniss stop visiting for a while," questions Haymitch.

"Only if she can't handle seeing him this way. It could only help. In fact we are amazed at the progress he seems to have made since she had been visiting. We think the visits have been almost as good if not better for him than the actual treatments."

"Will she be safe with him like this?" asks Gale.

"I wouldn't see why not. The tranquilizer put him out almost immediately. As long as she wears the bracelet she should be fine."

I glance over at Gale and can almost see the disappointment in his face. I think he is jealous of the time I spend with Peeta and was secretly hoping to doctors would instruct me to stop coming to see him.

The silence is a little awkward as we all glance back and forth at each other.

Haymitch finally stretches, yawns, and looks at his watch. "Well if everything is under control I think I am heading back to bed to catch a few more hours of sleep."

The doctors both nod in agreement and head to the door also.

Soon it is just Gale and I.

"Thanks," I say as I lean over and give him a small hug.

"You're welcome, Catnip," he says as he reciprocates my hug with a slight squeeze. "I couldn't go loosing my best hunting partner now could I. See you tomorrow," he says with a tired smile as he shoves his hands in his pockets and than trudges out the door.

I watch him as he slowly shuffles his way down the hall and turns the corner.

I walk back to where Peeta is sleeping peacefully. He almost looks content. I briefly think about sleeping here like I have before but decide I don't want to chance Peeta waking up in his mood again, especially if the last thing he may remember is me trying to slap him.

Instead I lightly kiss him on the cheek and whisper "Good night."

Before I pull the door closed all the way something catches my attention out of the corner of my eye. I glance down to see the package containing the notepad and pencils. I pick it up and place it on Peeta's nightstand. I am sure he will find it when he wakes up.

I close the door quietly and slowly head back to my own room.


	13. Chapter 13

I debate on whether I should go see Peeta tonight. I remember that the doctors both seemed to think it could really help his recovery, but then I also think of how Peeta acted last night and how hurt and angry I had felt.

I decide to go and just stay for a while if he is still in that dark mood. I slip down the hall in silence even though there is no one else around.

I open the door and peak in. Peeta is hunched over in bed with his head between his hands. I pull the door shut a little hard hoping it to make enough noise to let him know someone is there.

When he looks up he seems a little surprised. "I didn't think you would come back," he says. His tone is more hurting than dark.

"Why wouldn't I come back?"

"Because of the way I acted, and after what I said I wouldn't blame you for not wanting to visit me anymore."

He puts his head back in his hands and I wonder how much of last night he remembers. Does he remember that I tried to slap him? I decide to not mention it.

I walk over and sit on the other side of the bed. I just look at Peeta. I hate seeing him in pain whether it is physical or mental.

"Did they make you watch more videos?" I finally ask.

Peeta doesn't look up but slowly nods his head.

"What were they about?"

"Ones of district 12 being bombed and when you visited later." I see a shutter pass through his body. "I just really miss my family. I still hard can't believe they are all dead."

I scoot closer to put my arm around Peeta and pull him to me. All my worries of what he might do have left as I whisper "I'm sorry, Peeta."

He leans into me and I can feel him shake as he silently cries. I just hold him and gently rub his back. I lean my head down against his back as I feel the tears come to my own eyes as I remember the emotions I felt when I visited 12. It still drains me emotionally and my family is still alive.

After a bit he speaks again, "What really scares me is how much I can't remember and how many of my memories have been altered so I question whether they are real or not. What if I forget what my family was really like?"

"You won't forget. No matter what happens your family will always be in your heart. I've been through a lot too but the memories of my dad are as fresh as if he were still alive."

He lifts his head to look at me with questioning eyes. "But, Katniss, you weren't highjacked. Sure you and I have both been through a lot especially these last two years. But except for your nightmares you don't have to question whether things really happened."

I think for a bit and then remember the notepad and pencils I had left behind. I look over and see the package has been untouched. I reach behind Peeta and pull it over to me.

"Here, why don't you draw a picture of your family? Then you won't forget them."

I open the package and show Peeta the notepad and pencils.

"But what if I have already forgot?"

"I'll tell you if you are right or wrong."

"I really don't feel like drawing, Katniss."

"Well, then I'll have to draw for you. I remember what your family looked like."

"O-kay?" Peeta questions.

We both know that I am terrible at drawing. I glance over to see is Peeta is watching. His questioning eyes are glued on the paper in front of me. I try to draw his dad and mom as best I can. About the only thing I get even remotely right is the frown on his mom's face.

"So what do you think?" I turn to look at Peeta.

He eyes are still a little sad, but he just shakes his head and smiles ever so slightly.

"What? I think it looks pretty good," I say as I turn around to look at the picture again. It is pretty bad I have to admit.

Peeta gives a breathy laugh.

"Here you're a little off. Let me help you."

I feel Peeta changing positions on the bed. He is moving over behind me. Then I feel his hand gently my hand that is holding the pencil. He flips the paper over with his other hand and begins to softly guide my hand across the paper. The lines and circles quickly take shape. I soon begin to see his father's face and then his mother's also. When he is finished he lets go of the pencil and leans in to wrap his arms around me and puts his head on my shoulder.

"There that's better," he says and gently kisses my check.

I sit and look at the wonderful picture then I turn to look into Peeta's beautiful blue eyes. He has a contented smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes that I have not seen in a very long time. I can't help but smile back.

"See you didn't forget anything. Not even the smallest detail such as the mole on your mother's cheek."

I reach up and kiss him gently on the lips then I place the pencil back in Peeta's hand and quickly crawl out from between his legs.

"Now why don't you continue to draw without my help? I'm pretty sure you don't need my expertise."

I sit next to him and watch him draw his brothers. When he is finished with them he continues to draw more people from district 12.

As I watch in silence I can slowly feel myself being overcome with tiredness. I had been up since 6 a.m. for my morning workout with Boggs and other training soldiers. Normally I would have just skipped it but Boggs has taken to coming and waking me up if I am too late.

My head finally dips down and bumps against Peeta's shoulder. He turns to look at me as my head jerks up. "Sorry." I mumble.

He smiles and says, "Why don't you lay down if you're that tired?" I'm too tired to argue so I scoot down farther on the bed and lay my head on the pillow. My eyes slowly close as I watch Peeta begin a new picture. It seems like only seconds and I am out.

In my dream I am back in district 12. I am simply wondering around and looking at all the buildings of downtown that I remember. It is before it was bombed. I quickly notice that there are no people around.

"Hello," I call out. "Is any one there?"

I walk to the hob where I am sure to find people. It is the middle of the afternoon and the hob should be crowded with people trying to sell their wares. But when I get there it is empty as well. I continue walking but find no one.

I finally walk back to my house in Victor's village. I sit on my steps for a long while. Even though I am sitting in a wide-open space the loneliness seems to push in on all sides.

"Where is everyone?" I ask out loud.

From out of nowhere a strange voice that sounds much like President Snow's voice speaks, "Every one that you have forgotten has disappeared."

"But I haven't forgotten anyone!" I yell into the silence.

"Oh, really? Name all the people you have not forgotten."

All of a sudden I can't think of any one's name. My mind is completely blank. I begin to grip my head between my hands. "Just let me think."

After a bit the voice says, "Can you at least remember your own name?"

As I rack my mind I can't even think of my own name. I begin to slowly disappear as the voice begins to laugh.

"No, what's happening?"

"You're disappearing just like every one else." The voice continues to laugh louder and louder.

"Nooo!" I scream until I completely vanish.

I jolt up in bed and just sit there breathing heavily.

"Katniss, are you okay?" Peeta hurries out of the bathroom and over to the bed. He slides in next to me and reaches to pull me close. I hug my arms around his chest and just try to calm down. He rocks me gently back and forth.

"What did you dream?" Peeta quietly asks.

"I dreamed that I forgot everyone from home and so they just disappeared. I was all alone in district 12. Then I forgot my own name and so I disappeared as well."

"It's okay. You're not alone. You will never be alone if I can help it."

He gently brushes a wisp of hair from my forehead and kisses the top of my head. Peeta rests his head on mine and we just sit there in each other's arms for a while.

Finally Peeta moves so he is looking down at me. "We should probably try to get some rest," he almost whispers. He releases me from his arms and let go of him. He then scoots down between the sheets. I follow suit. As I roll over onto my side I feel Peeta pulling me closer until his arm is wrapped around my waist.

"Remember, I am always here for you," he whispers as he squeezes me just a little and kissed me on the back of the neck.

I soon hear his heavy breathing and know he is asleep. I slip from under his arm and go over to the nightstand where Peeta set the notepad. I flip through the pictures he has drawn. There are many people from district 12: his family, Haymitch, Greasy Sae, Madge, Delly, Darius, mom, Prim, and others kids I recognize from school. The last picture is of me sleeping.

As I sit and think of all the pictures I have seen Peeta draw which makes me think of the torn up drawing that I kept from one of my first night visits to see Peeta. It is still in the drawer with my other special treasures. Maybe some day I will show it to him. I smile as I close the notepad and place it back on the nightstand. I then crawl back into bed and fall asleep. My morning workout will come all too soon.


	14. Chapter 14

I excitedly headed down the hall to Peeta's room. He had enjoyed drawing pictures last night so much and it seemed to have done wonders for his mood, so I was happy to show him what I had found.

Earlier that afternoon I had been hiding out in my usual supply closet with Gale, while skipping out on taking our turn to clean up the cafeteria.

We had been playing a game of "What is in the Box?" One of us closes our eyes, which really makes no sense cause it was too dark to see anyway, while the other person randomly picks up a box and shakes it. Then the person with their eyes closed has to guess what is in the box. We even make the guesser say what color it is, not that you can tell by listening to the shaking noise.

Anyway when it was my turn to guess Gale picked a box and began to shake.

"Pencils," I could tell it was pencils right away.

"But what color are they?"

"Yellow," That was always my first guess because most of the pencils were the standard yellow #2 pencils.

"Wrong," said Gale.

"Gray," I guessed next. Almost everything in district 13 is a monotone gray color.

"Wrong again," Gale teasingly poked me in the arm.

"Blue."

"No."

"Red."

"Try again."

"Green."

"Still cold."

I was beginning to get a little annoyed. "I don't know! Rainbow with pink flowers and skulls!" I practically shouted.

Gale was quiet for a bit but then I heard a little breathy laugh escape from his lips. I could tell he was doing his best to hold it in. Soon I could feel his body shaking against mine. I was trying hard to be angry but soon I felt like laughing too. Who would even think of making a rainbow pencil with pink flowers and skulls? I don't even know where that came from.

After we both enjoyed the guffaw over my stupid guess I finally said, "I give up. What color are they?"

"Well, you were actually a little close with your wild guess. They're colored pencils, so in a way I guess they are rainbow, but sorry no flowers and skulls."

That just made us start laughing all over again. When we finally decided it was time to leave I took a pack of the colored pencils. They would not be the same as the paints Peeta used at home but they would add color to his drawings. I can't wait to give Peeta the colored pencils.

When I get to his room I open his door and step right in. The room is dark except for the overhead lights. My eyes scan the room and find it empty. Peeta is not in bed or sitting in the chair. I assume he is in the bathroom but when I look I find the door open and the lights out. This is very strange. Where could Peeta possibly be at this time of night?

I put the pencils on the nightstand and settle down on the edge of the bed to think. I know Peeta can't leave the room on his own because of the keypad, so someone had to take him out. Only his doctors, Haymitch, and a few others high up people have keys to get in besides me.

Then I try to think of reasons they may have taken him out. My first thought is that he had one of his spells where he is out of control. They must have taken him back to the hospital.

I jump off the bed and hurry for the door. My heart is nearly pounding out of my chest as I leave Peeta's room and head to the hospital.

I go straight to the observation room where he had been before. I try the handle but find the door locked. I hold my hands up to the dark windows. I don't see any lights on in his previous room so I am guessing that that room is empty also since they had always had lights on when he was there even if the observation room was dark.

I stand in the hall thinking of where else they might have taken him. If he was sick maybe they put him in a regular room. I certainly could not go opening and peeking into every patient room in the hospital. I finally decide to ask the nurse that is at the check-in desk. She would surely know if Peeta had been brought in.

I try to compose myself before I get to the desk so I don't just scream out, "Where's Peeta?" When I feel mostly calm I slowly walk up to the desk.

The nurse looks up and smiles politely, "Can I help you?"

"Yes, I hope. I'm looking for Peeta. Do you know if he has been admitted?"

"Peeta, hmm, Peeta? I don't think I recognize that name."

"Peeta, Peeta Mellark?" I add the last name thinking she will surely recognize his name now. Everyone in district 13 knows who Peeta and I are, don't they?

"It doesn't ring a bell but let me look through our patient list." I stand there as she reads and rereads the list. "No, there is definitely no Peeta Mellark in the hospital, sorry."

"Thanks," I mumble as I stalk away from the desk.

"Katniss, honey, what are you doing here this late?" I turn to see my mom coming down the hall. In all my hysteria I had forgot that she was here. It is her turn to work the night shift.

"Mom, I can't find Peeta." She gives me a look of concern so I explain further. "I went to Peeta's room but he was not there. Where else would he be?"

"I'm not sure, honey, but I know he's not here at the hospital. I've been to check on every room. Are you sure you didn't just go to the wrong room?"

I catch myself rolling my eyes. "The key would not just open any room." I answer a little rudely.

"Sorry, it was just a thought," mom replies in a hurt voice.

"I'm sorry, mom. It's just I'm a little worried about not being able to find Peeta."

Mom looks at me with tired eyes. "I'm sure he's fine." There is a moment of awkward silence before mom says, "Well, I really need to get back to work. I hope you find him soon."

And with that mom is off down the hall headed to who knows where. I stand in the hall a little longer trying to think of where to look next. I can't think of where Peeta might be but I do think of someone who might know.

I hurry out of the hospital wing and head to the elevator. I get on and push the button. I tap my foot impatiently as if it will make the elevator go faster. It stops on the floor where most to the survivors from district 12 live.

I walk down to the fifth door and pound on the door. I really didn't mean to knock quite that hard, but it gets me quick results. A droopy-eyed Haymitch opens the door a few seconds later.

"Well, this is a pleasant surprise," he says in a not so pleasant voice. "To what do I owe the honor of this visit, Sweetheart? I'd invite you in for a nightcap, but we both know there is none."

"I'm looking for Peeta," I say before he can make any more comments.

"Well, …he is not here with me."

"I figured that, but I was hoping you might be able to tell me where he is."

"I haven't the foggiest, if he is not in his room. That was the last place I saw him."

"Grrr," I glare at Haymitch. "Do you really think that I would be standing around here asking where Peeta was if he were in his own room?"

Haymitch, who does not seem too worried, still with the same droopy eyes just looks at me and shrugs his shoulders.

I huff out of pure annoyance. "You are no help at all. Do you have any idea where Peeta might be except for his room?" I open my eyes super wide in exaggerated question.

"Nope," is all Haymitch says.

I throw my hands in the air in disgust and turn around to stalk down the hall.

"Good night, Sweetheart," I hear Haymitch say is a super sickly sweet tone. I don't say a word but just wave my hand over my shoulder and keep walking.

I walk back to Peeta's room. I can't think of a single other place to look. I think in the back of my mind I am hoping mom was right and I just magically went to the wrong room before and that he will be there waiting when I get back, but when I enter his room I find it as silent and empty as before.

I walk over to the bed and flop down on it out of exasperation and exhaustion. I lie there and stare at the ceiling trying to clear my head and think. After a few minutes I yawn and scoot up so I can lay my head on the pillow. I soon feel my eyes closing as my mind continues to guess where Peeta might be.

My sleeping mind always seems to be a scary place to go. In my mind I am wondering around the halls much like I was doing when I was awake only minutes ago. But in my dream the halls are much longer and have many twists and turns. I am soon completely lost.

After running down hall after hall and turning many corners, I stop in a hall to catch my breath. I listen and hear voices that seem to be right around the corner. They seem to be speaking in hushed tones so I don't know if they are quiet because it is late or because they are trying not to get caught. I lean up against the wall and slide down to the very end. I listen and can make out two voices.

"Come on we have to hurry. The hovercraft will be here soon."

"I'm trying, but his body is heavy." My eyes widen and my stomach feels queasy, but I don't move.

"Here let me grab his legs."

"Hurry, I think he's waking up. If we can get to the hovercraft we can give him another round to put him out till we reach the capitol."

At those last three words I feel a chill run down my back. I can pretty well guess whom they are trying to take to the capitol. I peek around the corner just in time to see two men in black uniforms half dragging Peeta's lifeless body around the next corner. My mind is trying to come up with a plan but I can't.

I hear a moan and then "Hurry!" They are going through a door and I hear the distinctive hum of a hovercraft. I bolt around the corner as the door is just closing. I can see the men struggling to pull a now semi conscious Peeta up the plank to the waiting hovercraft.

I make a mad bash for the door and burst through as the plank is closing. "Stop!" I scream but it is too late. The hovercraft rises into the air. My last glimpse as the plank shuts is of one of the men stabbing a syringe into Peeta's arm.

I collapse to my knees with my head on the ground. I pound my fists as the tears begin to flow. "Peeta, Peeta!" is all I can say through the sobs.

What finally begins to bring me out of my nightmare is the pull on my body. Someone is lifting me up. I feel strong arms pulling me somewhere. Then I feel warmth and hear a gentle voice.

"Shh, Katniss, it's okay." It's Peeta's reassuring voice.

I feel his hand lightly brush away the wet hair from my cheek. I lean against his chest as the tears continue. I feel his tender lips touch my forehead.

"Katniss, wake up," he whispers as he runs his hand back and forth across my arm. I slowly open my eyes as a few more tears slide down my cheek. I see his concerned blue eyes staring down at me.

"I, I couldn't find you," I manage to get out with a little sob.

"Well, I found you," Peeta says and smiles a little as he wipes the tears off my cheek.

I close my eyes and just rest against his chest. He seems content to hold me a little longer.

When I open my eyes again I realize Peeta has no shirt on and his hair looks damp. I sit up and give him a puzzled look him.

"Why, why is your hair wet?"

Peeta runs his fingers through his hair and gives me a sheepish grin. "When I came back you were sleeping so I decided to take a shower. When I was about finished I heard you crying and calling my name. So I hurried out to see what was wrong."

"Oh," I thought for a moment then shook my head to clear it. "Wait, where were you?"

All at once I saw Peeta's eyes light up like I had not seen. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. The doctors said I have improved way more then they expected, well at least in this short of time. And I'm sure you already know that Finnick and Annie are getting married."

I nod slowly as a grin begins to form on Peeta's face.

"Well, what does every wedding need?" he asks looking to see if I follow.

I just look at him with a blank look and slowly shake my head.

He keeps smiling but rolls his eyes. "Come on Katniss think, what does every wedding have and I'm really good at making?"

Finally the light comes on a little, "A cake?"

"Yes!" he almost shouts, "They're letting me make and decorate the cake. I was in the kitchen baking the cakes all day because the wedding is only a few days away. I have a lot to do because they want it to have many layers. I was told they are going to film the whole thing and use clips to interrupt the capitol's signal."

By now I was smiling a little too. I don't think I had ever seen Peeta this excited about anything. He was like a kid in the candy shop.

But then my smile falters. "Wait, I don't get it. About a week ago they had you strapped to a table all day and now they are letting you work by yourself in the kitchen. Not that I'm complaining but I just don't get them."

"I'm not alone, Katniss. They don't trust me that much. I had two guards escort me to the kitchen and watch me the whole time. Then tomorrow they will come get me so I can start frosting and even decorate if I have time."

"Well, at least I will know where to look for you tomorrow if you are gone when I come in the evening."

"Sorry, I should have left a note, but I honestly didn't think it would take that long to make cakes.

"That's alright, it was just scary not knowing where you were and if you were all right. I honestly never know what to expect when I come to see you."

Peeta looked a little hurt at my last comment. Maybe it was not the right thing to say.

"I'm sorry," I say and I reach up and kiss him on the check. That softened his look. Then Peeta stifles a yawn, which makes me yawn also.

"Maybe we should get some rest. It has been an eventful day for both of us," he suggests.

"Sounds good to me."

Peeta reaches over to turn out the lights as I snuggle down into the blanket.

"Where did these come from?" he says as he holds out the colored pencils.

"Oh, I forgot about those. I found them this afternoon and thought you could use them." I say through a yawn.

Peeta sets them back on the nightstand. "Thanks," he says and reaches over to wrap his arms around me.

"Good night, Katniss."

"Good night, Peeta," I mumble as my eyes close.

**Wow, it was a long chapter, but I don't know if I like the ending. Let me know what you think.**


	15. Chapter 15

I spent some time with Peeta today in the kitchen. I perched on a chair and watched him mix up lots of frosting, which I taste tested. He busily iced all the small cakes he had baked last night and stacked them on top of each other to make one huge cake. He said he was planning to start some of the decorating this evening. When I left for late afternoon training, he told me to come back to the kitchen if he was not in his room when I got there.

For training, Boggs decided to take us into the forest tonight. He said it would be good to get some experience in an area other than capitol pods since we don't know what we may face when we strike against the capitol.

Since these are the same woods that I hunt in almost every day, things were going pretty smoothly, at least for me, but some of the others were not faring as well. One guy kept tripping over tree roots, Johanna was constantly complaining about the bugs, and a boar chased another guy. Luckily he was able to climb a tree before the boar caught him.

During training we ran drills: run a while, fall to the ground at the signal, and shoot in the called direction. We did the same exercise over and over until I was sure I would be doing it in my sleep.

Next Boggs had us split into teams: capitols vs. rebels. The capitol team was to guard a certain tree while the rebels were to sneak in and attack using the blank ammunition everyone had loaded in their weapons. My team, the rebels, went to our starting spot and made our plan of attack. My job was to circle around wide and make a sneak attack while the others were drawing the attention away from the tree. I did exactly as we had planned, but our plan didn't work because the capitol team had left two people guarding around the back of the tree. When I came in for the attack one of the guards fired at me. The bullet grazed my forehead on the left side, which hurt a lot even though the bullet was a fake.

When I came out in the open after calling for a break, Boggs blew his whistle and radioed for a paramedic. I could feel the blood running down the side of my face, but I had sustained much worse injuries in the hunger games. One of the younger recruits took one look at me and fainted. Boggs handed me a handkerchief to slow the bleeding. Johanna muttered something about me ruining everything as I walked by heading toward the gate where we had entered the forest.

I met the medics and was taken down to the hospital. They cleaned me up and put a bandage around my head to keep it from bleeding. The doctor joked that the shooter was either really good or a really bad shot depending on where he was aiming when he hit me. I just smiled weakly and asked for some aspirin as I left.

I reported back to Boggs who had just sent everyone home for the night. He merely slapped me on the back and said he was glad I was okay and that I was a tough soldier. Then he told me to head home and get some rest.

I am on my way to Peeta's room right now. It is kind of late and I am very tired. I hope he is already back. I get many stares as I pass people in the hall. "Training," is all I say and keep walking. My head is beginning to throb as I finally reach his room.

I insert my key and open the door. Peeta looks up from where he is sitting on the bed, sketching something.

"Hi, Katniss," he greets me cheerfully as he sets down the notepad.

"Hi, Peeta," I reply with a small smile.

His smile quickly changes to a look of concern as I walk into the light. "Katniss, what happened?" he asks as he jumps up from the bed and practically runs to my side. "Here, come sit down." He takes hold of my elbow and starts leading me to the bed. "Are you all right?" he continues to question.

At this I detour to the bathroom. I must look worse than I thought. When I get to the mirror, I see how big the bandage is. "It's not that bad," I answer as I lay a hand on my forehead.

Peeta is standing at my side. "Does it hurt?"

"Not really. I just have a headache."

"What happened?" Peeta asks again as I walk over and sit on the bed. When we are both seated I tell him what happened at training.

"The bandage really makes it look worse. I swear it was just a little cut. It was just bleeding a little."

Peeta just nods and keeps looking at my head with a slightly worried look.

"Peeta, I've had a lot worse and lived to tell about it. Quit staring at me like I had a hole blown in my head," I finally blurt out.

Peeta looks away quickly and folds his hands in his lap. He has the look of a young child who just got yelled at.

I can't help but smile at him a little. "Thanks for your concern, but it's really nothing."

He nods slightly but does not look up. Then I see his gaze fall on the notepad.

"What were you drawing when I came in?"

"Sketches for the cake. Do you want to see them?" he answers barely above a whisper.

"Of course," I say with a relieved voice. I am more than happy to move on to a new subject. Peeta silently picks up the notepad and flips back a few pages and then hands it to me. "Wow, these are beautiful. I see that you are getting some good use out of the colored pencils."

"Yes, thank you," he smiles slightly and finally looks over at me. I look back down at the notepad. I look at all five sketches. Each is different, but they all have a definite ocean theme. Peeta brushes against my side as he leans to look over my shoulder to see which cake I am looking at.

"Which do you like the best?"

"I don't know. They are all beautiful."

"I really like the fish on this one," he turns the page back.

"Oh, those are nice, so colorful and bright."

"Well, which do you think Finnick and Annie will like the best? You know them better than I do."

I pause a bit before I answer. "I think they would like the wave look on this one, but I'm sure Annie would like the flowers on this other one." I study the pictures for a while longer, and then I lean back and look up at Peeta. "I am sure they will love whatever cake that you make."

Peeta smiles and reaches an arm over to pull me closer. I lean in to rest my head on his shoulder. I feel his cheek press against my head. That is one thing about Peeta, he is very quick to forgive. I close my eyes and feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest as Peeta breathes. I feel him reach and turn the pages of the notepad back and forth.

I am almost asleep when Peeta lets go of me and stretches. He yawns and says "Well, I don't know which cake to make, but since we both had busy days maybe we should try to get some sleep. I can think about it more in the morning."

I sit up to stretch too. "Sounds like a good idea to me," I reply while stifling a yawn. Then I get up to use the bathroom.

Peeta must have been very tired because by the time I get back in bed he is already breathing deeply. I lie there and just watch him sleep for a while. He looks so peaceful. When I close my eyes to try to sleep too I notice a dull pain coming from the cut on my head. I ignore the pain as best I can and try to relax.

It feels like I am only asleep for a few minutes when Peeta moving around next to me awakens me. I open my eyes and mumble, "Peeta, what are you doing?"

When he doesn't answer I look closer. His eyes are closed tightly and his hands are balled into fists.

"Peeta, wake up. You're having a nightmare," I say as I sit up in bed.

Peeta does not wake up and begins to thrash. He mumbles something that I can't make out.

"Peeta," I call louder and push on his shoulder.

He jerks his arm away and calls out, "Don't touch me!"

I pull away as he lays still for a bit but continues to mumble.

Suddenly he looks like he is in great agony. "Please, no more videos, please!" he cries out as he brings his hands to his face. I see a few tears trickle down between his fingers. "I don't want to watch any more." He is breathing very heavily and he continues to grip his head.

I kneel on the bed and lean over him. I take hold of both shoulders.

"Peeta,…wake…up!" I say as I shake him. "It's only a dream. There are no videos."

His eyes fly open after a few shakes. His pupils are huge as he just freezes and stares up at me. We both just look at each other for a moment. Then before I know what is happening and without a word Peeta flips me over and is straddling me pushing me down into the mattress. He is still breathing hard and just staring down at me. He clamps down on both arms just above the elbow.

"Peeta, let go. You're hurting me," I say as I begin to panic a bit.

He just continues to stare with an almost wild look in his eyes.

"Peeta, please, snap out of it."

I begin to struggle to free my arms, which only makes him grip them harder. Out of breath, I lie still while I think of what I can do.

As I lie still I can feel Peeta's grip loosen. I look up and see his face has changed from rage to confusion. He is now looking at me with a very puzzled look. He does not seem to know what is going on. "Peeta, I'm not going to hurt you," I say as calmly as I can. "You had a nightmare and I was just trying to wake you up."

He blinks a few times and shakes his head as if trying to clear his mind. "Katniss?" he finally says as he lets go of my arms and climbs off of me.

He just sits on the bed with his arms wrapped around his chest. Slowly he looks at me with a very confused face.

"What happened?"

"You were having a bad dream. Do you remember any of it?"

He just shakes his head and waits for me to say more.

"I tried to wake you up, but when you woke it was like you were having one of your spells. You pinned me to the bed and wouldn't let me go. After a bit you looked like you were trying to figure out what was happening. Then you just came out of it, I guess. It was really strange."

"I'm sorry," Peeta manages and then looks away. He just sits there slumped over. I know he feels terrible about how he acts during one of his spells. I also know that he can't help it.

After a bit, I crawl across the bed, kneel behind him, and wrap my arms around his shoulders. "Everything is all right. You only scared me a little," I whisper and lean my head against his. He breathes out deeply. I close my eyes and just hold on to him for a while.

Finally I ask quietly, "Peeta, are you okay?"

He shakes his head but does not say a word.

I let go and crawl back to my side of the bed.

Peeta silently lies back down but does not close his eyes. He just stares at the ceiling.

I scoot close and wrap my arms around his arm. I lean my head against his shoulder and close my eyes. Soon I feel his head against mine and I slowly drift off to sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**So, my sister is betaing for me. Can you tell any difference?**

Today was very busy with wedding preparations. Finnick, Annie, my prep team, and I were taken by hovercraft to district 12.

I helped Annie pick out one of the dresses that I wore during the victory tour. The dresses were still in my house. My prep team was not much help because they became too emotional at the sight of Cinna's handiwork. While we were doing that, Finnick stopped off at Peeta's house to borrow one of his suits. It will need to be taken in a bit, but it will work.

I showed everyone around a little, though there was not much to see. I took them past what was left of Peeta's bakery and into the woods where I used to hunt. I showed them the beautiful lake where my dad used to take me.

All too soon, it was time to head back to the hovercraft so we could get home. I quickly collected a few things from both Peeta's house and mine.

When we get home, it is time for supper so we all eat together along with the rest of our usual group: mom, Prim, Gale, and Johanna. It seems the whole cafeteria is humming with excitement for the wedding.

I try to skip out on evening training, but Boggs comes looking for me. I enjoy it some, since part of our time is spent practicing with our weapon of choice at the target range. Of course I use the bow most of the time but also use the handgun.

All the guys and Johanna are comparing targets to see who gets the most bull's-eyes.

"How did Miss Mockingjay do?" says Johanna as she saunters over to where I am using the bow. She looks at the target. I got all bulls-eyes except one.

"Show off," Johanna huffs as she heads back over to make fun of some of the guys.

"You guys are pathetic," I hear as well as a long loud laugh. "Here, let a woman show you how it is done." I hear the gun fire several times. "See, that's how you shoot." I just shake my head and take a few more shots with the bow. Johanna is very good but also very cocky.

When training is over, I head back to my room to take a quick shower. Mom and Prim are home for the night so we talk for a bit.

"I heard you went back to 12 to get a dress for Annie."

"Yeah, it still looks as bad as the last time. The grass is starting to grow over the burned area, but the town is still a bunch of rubble."

Mom just nods her head and yawns.

"Which dress did Annie pick?" Prim asks me excitedly.

"The green one I wore in district 5."

"Oh, I thought she would pick blue to remember the ocean," she said, a little disappointed.

"The green one was more her style, I think."

"Well, I'm sure she will look great. Did you bring back a dress to wear?"

"Yes, but only because Octavia pretty much forced me to."

"Well, don't you want to look nice for the wedding?"

"Oh sure, we both know how much I like to dress up." I roll my eyes. "I always like to stick out like a sore thumb, because we both know how much everyone dresses up in district 13."

"Katniss, be nice to your sister," Mom scolds a little.

When she turns to go in the bathroom, I make a face and stick out my tongue. Prim covers her mouth to stifle a giggle.

When mom comes back she gives each of us a kiss on the forehead. "You girls can keep talking, but I think I am going to head for bed, we have to work the early shift since we want to be done for the wedding."

"Yeah, you're right. I should get to bed also," says Prim as she gets up to give me a hug.

"I'm going to see how Peeta is doing on the cake. See you guys at the wedding."

We all know that even if I get back late that I will not see them in the morning. They usually are quiet and let me sleep.

I walk down the still busy hall. I stop to talk to several people as word has gotten out that I was back in 12 today. It is pretty much me giving the same answer of "It still looks pretty sad, but the plants and trees are starting to grow back."

Once I get out of our district hall, I am able to go longer with fewer stops. I finally make it to the kitchen.

"Hi, boys," I say to the guards who are playing cards at the table just inside the door.

"Hi, Katniss. How was your day?"

"Busy, but good. Who's winning?"

"Him, but I think he cheats," one guard says.

"You just say that because you stink at playing cards," replies the other. They both give each other a dirty look.

"Well, I'll leave you guys to your game. Have fun."

They just wave me on, as they begin to study their cards.

I can hear Peeta humming while he works. He is humming one of the tunes from district 12 that we all learn in school.

As I turn the corner, I just stop and stare. "Peeta, it's beautiful."

Peeta turns around with a huge grin on his face. "Thanks, Katniss!" He walks over to where I am standing and puts his arm around my waist. We just stand and gaze at the monstrous cake and its many layers. "It is really coming together, but I still have a lot of small details."

Peeta leans his head on mine for a bit and then lets out a small sigh. "I better keep working or it will take me all night," Peeta says as he heads back to work and I find a stool to sit on.

I sit and watch Peeta and am amazed at how small a detail he is able to make. Each fish and shell is perfect. As I sit and watch my mind begins to wander.

I soon realize I am smelling something mouth watering. "Peeta, do I smell what I think I smell?"

Peeta looks up from his work with a smile. "What do you think you smell?" he says in a teasing way.

"I think I can smell cheese buns."

"That would be right. They are in the oven right now," he points to the small oven in the corner.

"Would those be for anyone in particular?" I ask raising an eyebrow and grinning playfully.

"I figured I could use some nourishment after the long hours I have spent working."

"Oh," is all I respond and give him the pouty lip when he looks my direction.

"Well, I suppose I might have a few to share, if you would like some." Peeta grins at me and I smile from ear to ear.

"That would be very kind of you."

Peeta smiles more but keeps working until the timer goes off. He sets down his frosting bag and removes the cheese buns from the oven. The delicious aroma fills the air. I find myself swallowing as my mouth begins to water.

"What's that wonderful smell?" I hear coming from around the corner.

"It's Peeta's famous cheese buns," I answer.

Soon two hungry guards are standing by my side. "Yum, they smell great. Is there enough for us too, Peeta?"

"Sure, boys. I thought you might want some."

Peeta takes a short break to sit on a stool next to me and enjoy some of his cheese buns with us.

"These are the best things I have ever tasted," one of the guards says.

"Thanks."

There is silence for a while as we enjoy cheesy goodness. It has been a long time since I have enjoyed food this much. The food in district 13 was not awful but very practical and usually a little bland. Food was not meant to be an extravagance but a necessity.

When we finish the guards thank Peeta over and over, telling him how much they enjoyed the cheese buns.

"You're welcome. I'm glad you liked them that much."

After the guards go back to their cards I reach over and give Peeta a kiss on the cheek.

"What was that for?"

"For being so wonderful."

"I should make cheese buns more often," Peeta says as he smiles and walks back over to the cake.

Peeta busily works for another hour and a half. While he works we talk about different subjects.

"Greasy Sae said you went to district 12 today. I have to say I am a little jealous."

"Don't be. There is not much to see. Mostly all that is left is Victor's Village."

"It's still getting to see home even if it is mostly gone."

"Yeah, I guess so," I reply as the images of destroyed district 12 come to mind. "Annie is using one of my dresses and Finnick is using one of your suits from the Victory Tour. I hope that's okay."

"Sure, it's not like I will be needing them for anything."

Peeta works in silence for a while longer. Finally he puts down his frosting bag and steps back. "There, I think that about does it. What do you think?"

I walk over to his side and lean my head on his shoulder. "I think Annie and Finnick will love it." Peeta nods in agreement.

We just stand there for a bit until Peeta yawns. "I think a hard working baker needs to get some rest," I smile and look up at Peeta. He nods and leans his head on mine.

"First I need to clean up. The breakfast cooks won't be too happy if they find my mess."

I help Peeta clean up all the frosting bags, bowls of colored frosting, and other things.

When we are finished the guards escort us back to Peeta's room. "Thanks, guys," Peeta says as the guards slowly lumber off down the hall.

We walk into the room and Peeta stops at the edge of the bed. "Is that my easel and paints?" he says as he stares over by his chair.

"Yeah, I brought them back from 12."

When I look up at Peeta he has the biggest smile. I feel a smile forming on my own face too. Peeta walks over and runs his hand down the side of the easel and picks up a paint brush. I walk over to stand next to him.

"Do you forgive me for going to district 12 without you?" Peeta nods and continues to smile from ear to ear.

Unexpectedly he scoops me into his arms and spins me around in a circle. "Katniss, did I ever tell you how much I love you?" He kisses me on the lips tenderly "You'll never know how happy you just made me."

He kisses me one more time and lays me gently on the bed. He lies down on the bed next to me and breathes out a huge sigh. "It's been a very long day," he says and closes his eyes. I snuggle close and entwine my fingers with his and shut my eyes.

After a bit I feel Peeta let go of my hand and move around. I open my eyes and see him sitting on the edge of the bed.

"What are you doing?"

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you. I need to take a shower before I go to sleep."

I nod and sit up.

"You don't have to wait up for me."

I shrug and Peeta heads for the bathroom. I can soon hear the water running and Peeta singing. It makes me smile. I look around the room and my eyes stop on the notepad on the nightstand.

I reach over and begin to leaf through the pages looking at Peeta's sketches. I smile at the ones of mom and Prim. He has done a lot of pictures.

I find several of me. Most of them I recognize the background. Some are from the games and victory tour. A few are from when I visited him in his hospital room. I see one of me sleeping in the crook of his arm when he was in restraints and one when I was washing his wrists after he had cut them from struggling against them. I am amazed at the details he can remember.

I don't even hear the water turn off or Peeta come out of the bathroom.

"Do you always get into people's stuff," he says as he sits down next to me.

I grin sheepishly and look up into his smiling eyes.

He quickly kisses me on the cheek and reaches over to close the notepad. "Let's go to sleep," he says and places the notepad back on the nightstand.

He crawls under the covers and so do I. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close. I reach back and kiss him on the cheek.

"Good night," I whisper as I pull the pillow more snuggly under my head.

"Good night," Peeta whispers back and kisses my neck.


	17. Chapter 17

Today was Finnick and Annie's wedding. It was held in the cafeteria since that is the biggest area in the district, and it seemed that everyone wanted to be included. The decorations were simple and elegant.

I was not happy when Plutarch instructed me to wear the dress I had brought back from district 12. It is the same dress I wore to the capitol during the victory tour. He said it would help me stick out in the crowd during the propos, which was exactly what I did not want to do. My prep team was more than giddy as they busily fixed my hair and put on my makeup.

I tried to stay to the back so I would not draw too much attention. I did not have to worry much because when Finnick and Annie entered the room all eyes were on them. Finnick looked very handsome in Peeta's suit and Annie was radiant in my green dress. You would have thought it was made for her.

The ceremony was short but nice. The couple was draped in a net woven from grass and their lips were touched with salt water. Some children also sang a traditional wedding song from district 4. When Finnick and Annie kissed, there was not a dry eye in the place.

I am not usually very emotional at weddings, but even I felt tears welling up inside. These were tears of happiness for Finnick and Annie but also tears of sadness for Peeta. I know this is the kind of love he has for me, but I am still not sure if my feelings for him are that strong. Yes, I care a lot for him as a friend and I do feel almost tingly when he kisses me or caresses my cheek, but do I truly love him like Finnick loves Annie?

After the ceremony they quickly clear out the middle of the floor. Music provided by a fiddler from district 12 begins to fill in room. It was a huge treat to hear the familiar songs and soon everyone begins to clap to the music.

Greasy Sae is the first to start dancing as she grabs Gale's hand and pulls him into the middle with her. All of us join in to dance and show those around us the steps. I dance mostly with Prim, but once with Finnick, Gale, and a few other guys. I am even able to coax Haymitch out of his corner and onto the dance floor.

The evening was topped off with Peeta's amazing cake. Everyone was silent for a moment when the cake was brought out. Then there are many gasps and exclamations of awe. Finnick and Annie were given the first slice to share, and then Greasy Sae and a few other kitchen staff helped to serve it to the rest of us. Once the line was done I was able to convince Greasy Sae to save me a piece to take back for Peeta.

The whole day was wonderful. It was a great pick-me-up to all the people but especially the refugees.

When it is all over, I head to Peeta's room. It is much later than normal but I know he will understand.

I open the door to find him sitting in his chair with his easel in front of him and a paintbrush in his hand. I knock on the frame of the door just to let him know I am there.

He looks around his easel. "I thought you would never come," he says with a frown but a playful twinkle in his eyes.

"If it makes you feel better I brought you some visitors and a piece of cake." I hold up the bag in my hand and then motion into the hall.

Peeta stands up and walks over to me.

Finnick enters the room with Annie close behind. They are holding hands, but when Finnick sees Peeta, he gently lets go of Annie and heads over to give Peeta a hug.

"Hey, lover boy, or should I say cake boy, thanks for the wonderful gift. It was amazing and the perfect reminder of home and the ocean. It was the highlight of the night. Besides Annie of course."

Finnick smiles as he turns and holds out his hand for Annie, who quickly comes over. Instead of holding her hand he wraps his arm around her waist. Annie's eyes glisten as she smiles softly at Peeta but doesn't say a word.

"I'm glad I could make the cake. It was nice to have something to keep me busy. I only wish I could have been there to see everyone's reactions." I can hear the slight sadness in Peeta's voice, but he doesn't let it keep him from smiling.

Finnick chats for a while about the wedding and also other things, then looks at Annie. In her frail state she is obviously drained from the long day.

"I better get my wife back to our room," he says as he looks into her eyes. He lets go of her waist and takes her hand to lead her out of the room.

"Oh, thanks for the fancy duds," he says as he quickly pops back in the room and spins around once to show off the jacket and pants."

"You're welcome," Peeta says. "It looks much better than your net that you wore for the chariot ride."

"I'm saving that for tonight," Finnick says with a raise in his eyebrows and his usual seductive smile before as he ducks back out into the hall.

We both just laugh and shake our heads. Then we quickly call out, "Good night," in unison as I walk over to shut the door.

When the door is closed, Peeta heads over to sit on the bed and pats the spot beside him. I walk around and sit down as I kick off my shoes. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me in close.

He eyes my dress as if just noticing for the first time that I am dressed in anything other than my usual gray shirt and pants. "You look very nice. What's the special occasion?" He smiles as I glare at him.

"They made me wear it cause I'm the 'mockingjay'," I say in a very sarcastic voice

"Well, I think you look beautiful," he says with a big smile.

"Thanks," I say with a small grin.

"So tell me all about the wedding. What did you do besides eat cake?"

"The ceremony was traditional to district 4 with a net, salt water, and their wedding song. After that we all danced."

"Really, who played the music?"

"Do you remember the fiddler who was always playing on the corner right when you entered the hob?"

Peeta shakes his head.

"Well, he escaped the bombing with his instrument so he played and we all danced. We taught the people of district 13 the steps. You should have seen Greasy Sae. She really got into it."

"Sounds like it was a festive time." Peeta looks down at his hands and rubs at some of the paint on one of his fingers. His somber attitude reminds me how much he enjoyed dancing during the victory tour and how much he misses out on.

"The high light was definitely your cake though," I say quickly trying to change the subject.

Peeta brightens a bit. "Did it taste good? I didn't even get to try it except for licking the batter off the mixer."

"Oh, I almost forgot." I jump up and walk back to the door where I had set down the little bag. "I thought you would enjoy eating some of your own cake. I had Greasy Sae save you a piece." I bring the bag back to the bed and pull out a small plate with a piece of cake and a fork which I hand to Peeta.

He eats a few bites. "Yum, just like the cakes dad used to make." He frowns a bit. I'm sure he is thinking of his family.

"I remember how much Prim loved looking at the cakes in the bakery window. This cake definitely would have outshone them all."

He looks at me and smiles. "Do you want some? I feel a little silly eating while you just sit there." He gets a bite on the fork and offers it to me.

I lean over to accept it. "Yum, it really is good. I say as I lick the frosting that got on my lips.

Peeta takes another bite then offers me some more. He alternates between the two of us until the cake is gone. Peeta sets the plate and fork on the nightstand. He leans back and folds his hands behind his head. I do the same and we both sit in silence.

Peeta sits up after a bit, "I guess I should put away my paints for the night. I don't want them to get all dried out."

"Good, while you do that I really need to get out of this dress and take a shower. Can I do it here?"

"Be my guest." Peeta gestures to the bathroom.

I hop up and take a quick shower.

After I finish I realize that I have no clothes to put on. I ponder what to do for a bit then open the door just a crack. "Hey, Peeta," I half whisper in embarrassment.

He looks up from his painting.

"I need to borrow a shirt and pants."

He smiles and gets up to find me some. "Do you want gray, gray, or gray?" he says teasingly.

"Gray," I answer and roll my eyes.

"I thought you might pick that."

I dress quickly then come out of the bathroom. I am nearly swimming in his shirt and have the waist in the pants rolled over many times, but at least I am out of that dress.

Peeta looks up from his seat.

"No comments," I give Peeta the eye as I hike up the pants and head over to hang my dress on the hanger in his closet.

"I wasn't going to say a word." Peeta looks at me a bit more and then continues to paint.

I walk over behind Peeta to see what he is painting. In the picture, Peeta and I are dancing during the victory tour. He has painted every last detail on my dress. I wrap my arms around his shoulders. "I thought you were putting the paints away."

"I got inspired and had some time to kill while you showered." He turns his head quickly and kisses me on the cheek. "That was my favorite moment from the victory tour. I really wish I could have been there to dance at the wedding," says Peeta with a smile and longing in his eyes.

I can hear the wishful tone in Peeta's voice. "Oh, why not," I think to myself and tap Peeta on the shoulder. Peeta gives me a questioning look as I hold out my hand to him.

"May I have this dance?" He takes my hand and I gently pull him up and over to the larger space between the bed and the bathroom.

He just stands still not really sure of what I'm trying to do. I guide his hand to my waist with a smile and a little blush in my cheeks then reach down to take his other hand. By now he sees what I am trying to do so he smiles a bit.

Then he makes a very serious face. "Um, Katniss, there's no music."

"Well, then we'll just have to make our own," I say and start humming one of the tunes the fiddler played tonight.

A smile spreads across his face as he slowly begins to sway to my humming. There is not much room but Peeta manages to turn me in a few circles. He even twirls me out and back in again.

When the song is over I stop humming but Peeta keeps guiding me. We dance for a while.

Soon our steps begin to slow and our bodies get closer together. I let go of his hand and place my arms around his neck and my head against his chest as if on a slow song. His hands wrap gently around my waist.

As we sway back and forth I find my eyes dipping shut as I try to stay awake, but it has been a very long day.

When my arms begin to let go I feel Peeta gently scoop me up and hold me close. I close my eyes and lean against his chest. Peeta continues to sway and spin to the imaginary music.

When I am almost asleep I feel him kiss me on the forehead and lay me on the bed. He pulls the covers around me. I open my eyes sleepily when I don't feel him climb in beside me. I see him over at the easel busily painting some more. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

The only thing that wakes me momentarily is Peeta finally crawling into bed. When I roll over and open one eye, Peeta brushes the hair out of my face and leans in to kiss me on my check. I smile sleepily as he whispers, "Good night."


	18. Chapter 18

**Wanted to get this chapter out before I head off for the ren fest. I hope you enjoy it.**

I am heading to Peeta's room early tonight. Boggs let us out of training early since we had such a busy day yesterday with the wedding. It will be nice to have some extra time to just relax.

When I open the door Peeta is sitting in bed with the notepad on his lap. I immediately notice he has no shirt.

"Did you already take your shower?"

"Yep, I finished with my painting and knew you would be coming soon so I put the paints away. I noticed I had a lot of paint on my arms, so I took a shower."

I walk over and crawl in bed. I curl up close and lay my head on his chest as he puts his arm around me. I have gotten used to seeing him shirtless since that is the way he always sleeps.

He kisses my forehead. "Did you have a good day?"

"Pretty good, except it was raining so I couldn't go hunting. Instead they sent me to the cafeteria to peel potatoes."

"Aw, sounds horrible," he chuckles softly.

"It is," I say poking him in the ribs, "when you have to peel potatoes for all of district 13. That's a lot of potatoes."

"Well, next time, just bring some to me and I'll help you. You, poor thing, you." He pulls me into a tight hug.

When he lets go I pretend to pout for a bit, then put my arms around him and lay my head on his chest. I close my eyes and just listen to his heartbeat.

After a bit I open my eyes. "So what did you do today?"

"Well, let me think. My days are so busy."

I smile and shake my head.

"I talked with the doctors when they came in to see me. They told me I did a great job on the cake. I played cards with my guards since they had the day off. I painted some. And that's about it. It was almost more excitement than I could stand."

"Well, it sure beats peeling potatoes." I smile and look up Peeta when I feel his chest begin to rumble with laughter.

"You just aren't going to let that potato thing go, are you?"

"Nope." I look at Peeta. Then I turn to look at his face more closely.

"Do I have something on my face?" Peeta questions, "I thought I got all the paint."

"No, you're fine. I just never noticed that scar before." I reach up to trace the light scar on his cheek with my finger. "You can't see it unless you get up close."

Peeta reaches up and feels his cheek. His eyes seem to cloud over with a memory.

"How did you get it?" I am guessing it came from his time in the capitol, but he has never really told me anything.

"It must have been when I tried to stop the peacekeeper from hurting Annie. We passed them in the hall when she was being taken and I was being returned. She was kicking and screaming, so one of them slapped her on the face. She crumpled to the ground and I lashed out. My guard pulled out his knife and then slowly ran it across my cheek and told me that would be my reminder not to interfere."

"It must have been bad," I say looking into his pained eyes.

"Not as bad as seeing Annie hurt."

I lean my head again on his chest. As I look down I begin to notice all the scars on his chest. Without thinking I start to trace them one at a time. "Do they still hurt at all?"

"Not really. Some of the most recent ones still hurt a bit, but I think that's just because they were deep enough that they are still not healed all the way."

I touch one that is round. "What is this one from?" I say absentmindedly.

"That was from one of the suction cups when they sent currents of electricity through me."

I look up and see Peeta looking down at the scars. I nod. "What about this one?" I trace another that is a short straight line going diagonal to his waist.

"That was the cutting. They used a small knife so they hurt almost like a huge paper cut."

I trace a long one that seems to continue around his back. "Whipping?" I look up. Peeta nods. It looks just like the marks that Gale had when he was whipped. "Which one hurt the most?" I look into his eyes.

"The electrocution usually. It depended on how high the machine was set." I feel Peeta wince remembering the pain.

"You don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to."

"No, I'm fine," he says in a soft almost quivering voice. "My doctors would probably say it's good to talk about it."

I nod, but am not sure if Peeta really wants to talk about it or if I am ready to hear too much.

Peeta thinks a bit to remember what he was saying, and then continues, "If it was set too high my body would twitch uncontrollably even after I was back in the cell. It hurt so much. Sometimes I just wanted to curl up and die."

"I think it would be the worst torture too."

"It was the worst pain, but there were ones that hurt far worse."

"What do you mean?" I ask and sit up to look into his sad blue eyes.

"The worst by far was the mental torture like the jabberjays or hearing other people scream from other parts of the prison."

"I remember the forest," I say as I shake my head in agreement as the memory of the jabberjays during the quell and not being able to stand hearing my sister's screams comes rushing to my mind.

"I could always hear screams or groans from Johanna, Annie, or others in the cells around me. It was impossible to sleep at night until your body was overcome with complete exhaustion. I could only sleep a little before new screams would wake me."

Peeta's eyes are suddenly filled with more pain and I can see tears almost ready to spill out. "But some of the worst sounds came from the Avoxes. They didn't scream like us. It was horrible to listen to their sounds as they were questioned and tortured."

Peeta stops for a moment, but when he speaks again his voice and eyes have turned hard with hatred. "The guards knew they couldn't speak, Katniss. But they still questioned them and hurt them when they did not answer."

After a while Peeta's eyes soften as he leans in to rest his head on my shoulder. I feel his arm securely tighten around me so I wrap my arms around him and just lean my head on his as we sit in silence.

"What about the trackerjacket venom?" I whisper after a bit. He can't seem to find anything to say, but I feel his whole body tremble at those words and I can hear his heart beat increase drastically. I do not push for answers, as I am suddenly afraid I might cause Peeta to have an episode. With me wrapped in his arms, it would not be good. I brace myself for whatever may come.

To my relief he only hugs me tighter and whispers to himself, "Katniss is safe. You're safe. Everything is okay."

I decide not to talk about his time in the capitol anymore. I figure he has had enough flashbacks for now. He slowly loosens his hold on me.

In the silence that follows, I close my tired eyes, but I cannot seem to fall asleep because my mind keeps picturing the stuff Peeta must have gone through.

I open my eyes to look up at Peeta who is just sitting in bed staring into the darkness. I see a few tears slide down his cheeks. I lean over and reach my hand out to wipe them away. I wrap my arms around him and whisper, "I'm sorry."

"There was nothing you could have done."

"But if I hadn't blown out the area…"

"They probably would have just gotten us all. Sometimes my only comfort and way of taking the pain was knowing you were safe." He wraps his arms securely around me and kisses my forehead as I close my eyes and am finally able to drift off to sleep.

The thoughts of torture haunt my mind. I am in a cell and can hear groans all around. My door opens and in walks President Snow.

"We have some questions for you, Katniss," he says breathing his bloody breath into my face. The sickening stench of blood and roses almost makes me puke.

Two guards come in and lead me to a room. I am strapped to a chair and expect great pain. Instead I look through the window and see Peeta who is also strapped to a chair. He has wires stuck to his chest.

A doctor begins to explain what is happening. "Now we are going to ask you some questions. When we don't like your answer, we will push this button. It is attached to the machine hooked to your friend over there. Do you understand?"

Snow walks over to the window to look at Peeta. I stare at Snow then at the doctor and nod.

"Why did you shoot the arrow at the force field?"

"I didn't know what else to do."

The doctor looks at Snow. Snow shakes his head and the doctor pushed the button. I hear Peeta groan and watch his body convulse.

"Stop, it's the truth!" I scream.

"Who was in on the rebellion?"

"I'm not sure. Finnick, Beetee, maybe Johanna?"

Snow again shakes his head again. The doctor pushed the button again. This time Peeta cries out in agony and even when the button is released his body jerks uncontrollably.

"Please, don't hurt him anymore! He didn't do anything." I cry as the tears flow down my checks.

I suddenly jerk awake. I can feel the sweat all over my body, real tears are streaming down my cheeks, and my heart is racing. I look over expecting to see Peeta lying next to me.

I sit up and look around when I realize his place is empty. I look at the clock and see it is 2:46 a.m. I look around the dark room until I see Peeta sitting over in his chair.

I walk over to find him blankly staring off. "Peeta, what's wrong? Did you have nightmares too?" I whisper, but he does not answer.

He does not even move except to blink. I shake him a bit but he still does nothing. I put my face right in front of his and stare into his eyes, but he does not seem to notice.

"Peeta, can you hear me?" Still nothing.

I am beginning to panic. What is wrong with Peeta? I decide I need help. Who can I get to check Peeta over at this time of night? The only person I can think of is my mom. I hurry to put on my shoes and open the door. I take one last look at Peeta, who is still sitting in the chair with the same look.

I pull the door shut and run down the hall. It is a good thing I don't meet anyone in the hall or I would have probably run him or her over. I take the stairs, as I am too impatient to wait for the elevator, plus the adrenaline is racing through my body.

When I get to our room I frantically fumble in my pocket for the key. I open the door and rush to my mom's bed.

"Mom, wake up. I need you." I softly shake her awake.

Mom opens her eyes. "Katniss, honey, what's wrong? Are you okay?" She reaches over to turn on the bed lamp.

"I'm fine, but something's wrong with Peeta."

"What's wrong with Peeta?" Prim asks groggily as she sits up in her bed.

"I don't know. He just sits in his chair and stares at the wall blankly. He doesn't move or respond when I talk to him."

"Did something happen to Peeta?" mom asks.

I just shake my head. "I don't know what's wrong. Please come," I ask almost pleading.

"Of course I'll come." Mom pushes back the covers and slips on her shoes and her rob. She grabs her bag that she uses at the hospital.

"I'm coming too," Prim says and puts on her shoes. We are soon all rushing down the hall. I am jogging and Mom and Prim are trying to keep up.

We finally make it to Peeta's room. I open the door and turn on the lights. Peeta is still where I left him.

Mom walks over and touches Peeta on the shoulder, but he does nothing. Next she feels his forehead. "No fever," she states. "Peeta, can you hear me?" she asks as she shines a light slowly in each eye. No response. She takes all of his vitals one by one.

Prim is sitting with me on the bed holding my hand. "Is he going to be okay?" I ask and look at mom.

"I don't know. All of his vital signs are perfectly fine." Mom shakes her head with her eyebrows furrowed, and just stands back to look at Peeta. "Something is definitely wrong, but I don't what it is. What happened before you found him like this?"

"I just woke up from a bad dream and he was just sitting in the chair like that."

Mom comes to sit down next to me. She puts her arm around my shoulder. "I'm sure his doctors will be able to figure it out, honey." She squeezes my shoulder trying to reassure me that everything will be all right.

It does not help, but I give her a little smile anyway. I lean my head on mom's shoulder and Prim leans on mine. We sit quietly for a while, all just looking at Peeta.

"You can come back and sleep with us, if you don't want to be here alone," mom says as she slowly gets up.

"Thanks, but I think I will stay here."

Prim stands to leave also and gives me a hug. "I'm sure everything will be all right, Katniss," she says as she tries to give me a smile.

After they are both gone, I walk over and stand in front of Peeta. I can feel the tears coming. Did I push him over the edge by talking about his time in the capitol? I walk over and take his hand. "Please, come back to bed, Peeta," I choke out as I pull on his hand.

To my surprise Peeta stands. I walk backward and almost trip on the bed as I watch him come with me. I have to gently push down on his shoulder to get him to sit on the bed. He just sits on the edge, so I lift his legs onto the bed.

When I get back into bed I slide down onto my pillow, then I look up and see Peeta still just sitting there. I sit up and just look at him for a while.

"Here, lie down," I say as I reach over and pull his head onto my lap. When I feel his icy arm against my leg I pull the covers up around him. I don't move him anymore, but softly brush my hand down his cheek repeatedly.

I can see in the darkness that he still has his eyes open and seems to be looking at nothing. "Please be okay," I whisper as I feel the tears begin to slowly trickle down my checks. I try to wipe them away before they fall.

After a long while, my head sinks down onto my chest as my body is overcome with exhaustion.

I wake up in the morning with a crook in my neck and look down to find Peeta is once again gone. I jerk my head up to look around the room frantically. My eyes fall on the chair where he sat last night. Sure enough he is there again.

I slowly get up and shuffle across the room. When I come near I see he still has that same blank stare he had last night. Without thinking I run my fingers through his rumpled hair. "Peeta," I whisper longingly as I lean down and kiss his cheek. Then look at his face hoping for some change but see nothing.

"See you tonight," I say as I slowly walk over to the door and walk out of the room. As I walk down the hall I silently pray that the doctors will know how to help him.

**Dun, dun, dun...You will have to wait til the next chapter to find out what is wrong with Peeta. I know, I hate it too when an author leaves off like that, but that just makes you anticipate the next part.**


	19. Chapter 19

As soon as my evening training is over I head back to Peeta's. I am hoping to find that last night was just a bad dream.

Instead when I enter Peeta's room I find it to be a little crowded. I see Haymitch and three doctors all gathered around Peeta. He is still sitting in the chair where I left him this morning.

"What's going on?" I look to Haymitch for answers.

He has a very concerned look. "We don't know, Katniss."

I know it must be bad when he does not call me "sweetheart" like usual.

Haymitch looks at me then continues, "When Peeta's doctors came to see him as usual they found him like this."

I don't know if I should tell them what happened last night so I just walk over to Peeta and look into his eyes. They are very blood shot since he has not slept at all in over a day and he still has that very far off look. "Do you know what's wrong with Peeta?" I ask the doctor who is standing next to me.

He has a very puzzled look on his face, which can't be good. "We are not really sure, Ms. Everdeen. From what we have observed it is almost like his mind has shut down. All of his vital signs are quite normal, but he does not seem to respond to things around him."

I put my hands on Peeta's shoulders and look him in the eyes. "Peeta, can you hear me? What's wrong? Snap out of it." He doesn't move or make a sound, which is how I was afraid he would respond.

Then a different doctor speaks up, "I have worked with other patients similar to Peeta that were rescued from the capital and some have acted this way. It seems it's like a defense mechanism that makes the brain shut down so the body will not feel the pain of the torture as much. We believe it also makes them remember less of the trauma once it is over. But we have never had anyone suddenly act like this so long after the rescue. Usually they are like this when they are brought to us."

I decide I better tell them what happened last night. "Well," I begin, "I think I might know some of why it happened now." All eyes were on me so I continued. "I came to visit Peeta last night like I always do. And he told me some of what happened to him while he was in the capitol. When I woke up he was like this."

The doctors each shake their heads as if they are beginning to understand. "Did anything else happen?"

I thought for a bit of what happened last night. "When I tried to get Peeta to come back to bed I took his hand and he followed me. He also laid his head down when I pulled on his shoulder."

The one doctor shakes his head vigorously. "Yes, that is very normal in the cases I have dealt with. Usually they follow orders but don't show any emotions. It is like their mind has them do as they are told to avoid more punishment."

"So how do we wake him up?" I ask as I look at the doctor.

"I'm afraid we have not found that out yet. Some patients just come out of it on their own." The doctor's expression suddenly changes to very solemn as he shakes his head. "But some have never seemed to recover. Only time will tell what will happen to Peeta."

Another doctor speaks up, "Do remember he was also injected with a lot of tracker jacket venom. That could also be affecting his mind."

Everyone is quiet as we consider what has been said.

"There's really nothing more we can do for now," the third doctor says as he gives me a sympathetic look. "We will just have to wait and see what happens. All we can do is take care of him and make him feel as safe and comfortable as possible."

I feel a big lump in my throat, as I realize that my asking Peeta to tell me about his time in the capitol may have pushed him over the edge.

Haymitch notices my distressed look and quickly thanks the doctors and tells them we will notify them if there are any changes. Then they file out of the room.

Haymitch looks at me after the doctors leave. He can see my eyes beginning to brim with tears, so he walks over and puts his arms around me to give me a hug.

I lean against him. "It's all my fault." I burst out as I begin to shake uncontrollably with sobs.

Haymitch has to hold me up as my legs give out. He guides me over to the bed and sits down with me. "Katniss, you did not do this."

"But I was the one that pushed him into talking about his scars."

"I'm sure he talked with the doctors about the torture," Haymitch says trying to be reassuring. He holds me gently while I continue to cry.

After my sobs quiet he lifts my chin with his finger. "Sweetheart, Peeta will be fine."

"How do you know?"

"Because he is a victor just like you and I. And we victors survive against the odds." Haymitch winks and brushes his fist across my cheek. He was never that good with words, but I smile weakly as he stands and walks to the door.

"I'll come check on him in the morning," Haymitch looks at me and I nod.

After he leaves, I sit on the bed for a bit to regain the strength that seems to have been zapped from me.

Finally, when I think my legs will carry me, I walk back to where Peeta still sits with that blank stare. I look at him for a bit before I nestle into his lap. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his shoulder. The sobs begin again and just keep coming.

"I'm so sorry, Peeta," I choke out between sobs. "Please, be okay."

What I would give right now to have Peeta snap out of this and wrap his strong arms around me and tell me everything will be all right, but that does not happen.

After I have cried all I can, I sit up and look at Peeta's blue eyes. I long to have them gaze into mine.

Thoughts drift into my head as I remember the doctor saying we have to take care of Peeta. I try to think of what I can do to make him "comfortable" when suddenly my stomach begins to growl. I realize that Peeta has probably not eaten for at least a day.

I gingerly crawl off his lap and quietly leave the room. I walk down the long hall and a few flights of stairs to the kitchen.

As I enter I look around for something to eat. I know I could get in trouble for being in here, but at this point I don't care.

I begin to open cabinet doors until I find what I am looking for. There is a large stash of soup cans in one of the upper cupboards. I think these are the ones they send with us when we go to do propos and probably with the soldiers when they go on missions. I look through them until I find a simple beef stew. I decide to steer clear of the fancy capitol flavors just in case that would bring up more bad memories for Peeta.

Then I open more doors and drawers until I find a couple of bowls and spoons. I open the can and pour the soup into a pot so I can warm it in the stove.

When it is nice and warm I carefully carry the stew back to Peeta's room. I am very glad I don't encounter anyone in the hall because I don't want to explain what I am doing.

When I get in the room I set the bowls down on the table next to the chair where Peeta is still sitting. I sit on the edge of the armrest so I can easily reach both bowls, as well as Peeta. I don't want to chance dropping the soup while I am eating and feeding Peeta at the same time.

"Here, you need to eat," I say as I dip the spoon into the stew and hold it to Peeta's lips. To my relief he opens his mouth and lets me feed him the stew until the whole bowl is gone.

I then go to the bathroom and get a glass of water, which I hold to his lips. He opens his mouth and I slowly tip the glass trying not to let it dribble. He drinks all the water.

While he is finishing up the water, my leg that is propped on the other armrest touches his still bare chest and I notice he feels a little clammy. I don't feel comfortable trying to give him a shower or anything but I figure I can at least wipe his upper body down with a wet cloth.

I set down the glass and then I stand and take his hand to lead him to the bathroom. I carefully lead him around the bed so he does not trip, since I am not really sure how aware he is of his surroundings.

When we get to the bathroom I have him sit down on the toilet so I can easily reach him. I soak a washcloth with warm water and gently wipe off his chest and arms. I then wipe off his face and neck.

I let him air dry while I get a clean shirt from his drawers. When I put the shirt over his head, he instinctively does the rest without my having to ask. I find my fingers combing through his hair though I am sure he does not care what it looks like.

When I am finished, I think about leading him to bed, but instead I guide him back to his chair since I am sure he will not sleep and just move there anyway. Once he is seated I go to turn off all the lights except the lamp by the chair.

As I pass the nightstand by the bed, my eyes stop on the notepad of Peeta's drawings. I pick it up and pull the blanket off the bed. Then I carry them back to the chair. I set the notepad on the table before I crawl back into Peeta's lap. I settle the blanket around me then I lean over pick up the notepad. I lean my head on Peeta's chest as I open the notepad. I slowly begin to look at the pictures one at a time.

"Oh look, you even included Buttercup. I still don't see what Prim sees in that old flea bag," I comment at the picture of my family.

"Your dad was always so kind, but your mom scared me. I'm glad you turned out like your dad." I keep talking even though I know Peeta won't answer.

"I remember the banquet at the capitol and the look on your face when they told us about the vomit inducer." I smile and look up at Peeta's blank face and then continue to look at more pictures.

"Here is our last night before entering the arena. The time we spent on the roof was so fun and relaxing. I think I almost forgot why we were there."

"I still can't believe how you can remember all the details of my dress," I say as I see the picture he drew of me after Finnick and Annie's wedding.

I continue to comment on different things in the pictures until I have finished looking at them all. Then I close the notepad and place it back on the table. I turn off the lamp and pull the blanket around my shoulders. I make sure Peeta is covered as well, and lean back into his warm chest.

It is not long before I drift off to sleep, but the nightmares do not wait for long to come.

In my dream, I get up to get dressed in the morning and find mom and Prim in the bathroom. Both of them are just staring at the mirror. "What are you doing?" I ask but neither of them says a word. I notice they both have blood shot eyes like Peeta's.

I shake my head as I turn and walk out the door. As I pass people in the hall to do my usual routine, I notice they are all just standing around with blank stares.

I head to the upper level and down the long hallway that leads to the room where I get my hunting bag. The lady just stands there until I tell her I need my bag. She holds it up as if not giving it to anyone in particular.

I stop at the gate that is usually well guarded. The guards don't seem to notice me when I hold up my I.D. The gate won't open so I head back inside.

I walk to the cafeteria to find all the people just sitting at their tables or standing in the aisles. I make my way to my table by gently nudging past people who just take a few steps and then stand still.

When I finally reach my table I find Annie, Finnick, Gale, and Johanna all sitting motionless with the same blank stares.

My heart begins to pound faster as I realize I am the only person who is not in this strange almost trance like state. I feel myself begin to panic.

Suddenly I set my tray down and run out of the room. I stop at each person that I find in the hall and they are all the same.

I keep running until I find myself out of breath so I slump against the wall. My knees give out as I slip to the floor. I put my arms around my legs and start to rock back and forth. My mind feels like I am slowly going crazy.

Suddenly I jerk awake to find myself still sitting in Peeta's lap. I look at the clock to see that it says 6: 30.

I am so scared that I get up and look out into the hall. I run down the hall until I find a man coming out of his door. I grab his shoulders and look him in the eyes.

"Can I help you?" he asks me with wide eyes and a slightly frightened look.

"No," is all I say as I give him a quick hug in relief, not caring if he thinks I am a little bit crazy.

Then I turn and slowly walk back to Peeta's room. I make sure that I say "Good morning" to everyone I pass. They all answer back or nod.

Once I am back in Peeta's room, I walk over and sink back into Peeta's lap. I kiss him on the cheek and then lean against him as I close my eyes and let my heart slowly return to normal. I rest until I know that the doctors will be here any minute and I don't feel like talking to them.

I slip back down to my own room and snuggle under the blankets. It is quiet because mom and Prim have already gone to work. My eyes close as I feel Buttercup jump up at the end of the bed. Strangely even his presence is comforting enough to let me sleep soundly for a while.


	20. Chapter 20

As I am out hunting this morning my mind is busy thinking about Peeta. I can honestly say it did not help my hunting skills at all. I was with Gale and he griped at me several times for letting good game get away. Finally he called it quits and said we should head inside.

"What is wrong with you today?" he asked as we headed to the kitchen to drop off our meager stash.

"I was a little distracted."

"Well, talk about stating the obvious."

"Sorry, something is wrong with Peeta and I can't stop thinking about him."

Gale just rolls his eyes. "When are you not thinking about Peeta?"

"Gale, that's not fair. You know I think about other people, it's just some one has to watch out for Peeta."

"Isn't that what his doctors are for."

"Sure, if it was up to them he would still be restrained to that hospital bed. He's like family that I have to watch out for."

"Seems like a little more than just family to you most of the time."

I just stop and glare at Gale.

He looks at me, "Just sayin'."

The rest of the walk to the kitchen is done in silence. After we hand in our bags Gale says he better get down to Beetee. "We have a project to work on. See you at lunch?"

"Yeah, probably."

I head down the hall in search of my closet where I can think in peace. What Gale said made me mad, but I guess he is right. I do spend a lot of time with Peeta, but I can't just give up on him and right now he really needs me.

I try to think what can I do that might help bring him back? I really need some advice but who could help? Haymitch and the doctors have no clue. Who has dealt with someone with mental problems?

My mind suddenly thinks of Finnick and Annie. Annie's problem is not the same as Peeta's, but Finnick always seems to know how to calm her or call her back to reality.

I quickly crawl out of the closet and decide to see if I can find Finnick. He may be able to give me some advice, and he will be a lot more understanding than Gale.

By the time I get into the main hall, I see people heading to lunch. I join the flow since usually Finnick and Annie eat with us. Maybe I can talk with him afterwards. I eat lunch with the usual group.

"How is Peeta?" Prim asks.

"There's no change."

"Sorry."

I nod a little.

"What's wrong with Peeta?" Finnick looks down the table at me with raised eyebrows.

"The doctors are not sure, but it's like his mind is not working."

Annie gives a little gasp and Finnick quickly puts his arm around her shoulder and kisses her cheek. She looks into his sea green eyes and he smiles gently.

The rest of the meal is spent talking about other subjects.

"Finnick, can I talk to you?" I ask when Annie and Finnick stand to leave.

"Sure, let me take Annie back to the room for her nap, then I will meet you outside the cafeteria."

"Okay, see you in a bit."

The rest of us finish up and dump our trays. I wait for Finnick by the main doors. After about ten minutes, he comes sauntering down the hall.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"I want to know how you know what will help Annie when she…you know." I don't really know what to call it, but Finnick nods to show he knows what I am talking about. "Maybe it will help me with Peeta." I add.

Finnick looks around, "Let's go find somewhere quiet to talk."

I nod my head as I look around to see lots of prying eyes. I follow Finnick down a hall I have never been down before. He opens a door and I step inside. My eyes open wide as I look around to see plants of all kinds.

"What is this room?"

"It's a green house. They grow plants from the different districts to preserve them for when we can rebuild after the capitol is overthrown."

"How did you know it was here?"

"Annie actually showed it to me." He shrugs. "One of her jobs is to come water the plants. It is something she can do, but doesn't have to be around many people. We actually come here a lot. The plants remind her of home."

I nod as I begin to walk among the plants. I stop to smell some of the flowers. Finnick follows along.

"So tell me about Peeta," he finally says, breaking the silence.

I look up. "Well, the other night we were talking and he told me about what happened in the capitol. Before I went to sleep I noticed he was acting a little funny. He just kind of stared off, but I just figured he was thinking. When I woke up later he was looking in the mirror and would not say anything. The doctors said it might be his brain shutting down to cause less pain."

Finnick motions to a place for me to sit as I continue to tell Finnick all that the doctors and I talked about. "I know Annie's case is different, but I thought you might have some ideas of how I can help Peeta."

Finnick thinks a bit. "I know with Annie, it's all about making her feel safe. Sometimes just holding her hand works. When it's really bad though, I have to get her alone."

"What do you do then?"

Finnick's eyes suddenly get that playful twinkle. "Wouldn't you like to know?" he says in his seductive voice.

I glare at him and punch his arm. "I'm serious."

"Sorry," he smiles weakly, "It's hard to stay serious too long."

I roll my eyes, but smile a little.

Finnick looks down at the wedding band on his finger and twists it around a few times. "I usually talk to her about things that she likes or remind her of things at home. You know the sea, flowers, our wedding. Things that will distract her. Does that help at all?" He looks up at me. His eyes are soft and sympathetic.

"I think so," I say as I nod.

We talk a while longer about other things: training, the capitol, this and that.

"I'm sure Peeta will snap out of it," Finnick says as he stands to leave so he can get back to Annie.

I head back to my room to take a small nap before dinner. After dinner is training, and after training I go back to my room to gather a few things into my bag before heading to Peeta's room.

As I enter Peeta's room I find him sitting in the same place that I left him. I wondered if he had moved at all. I stand a bit and gaze into his eyes. They are even more blood shot than yesterday. I wonder how long his body can go without sleep. I remember Peeta talking about falling asleep because of complete exhaustion, and I hope his body will still do that. I gently brush a few stray hairs from his face.

I think for a bit about what Finnick and I talked about then I gently take Peeta's hand. "Come on, Peeta." I say as I tug on his arm.

Without question or much hesitation, he stands up and follows me out the door. I decide to take Peeta out since I am confident that in the state he is in he couldn't hurt me or anyone else. All he does is obey whatever you tell him to do. I doubt we will see anyone else this late at night either.

I hold his hand loosely as I lead him through the long hallways and down several flights of stairs. I decide to take Peeta to the green house. It is very peaceful and safe. Plus, the doctors had told me that if I could help Peeta remember happy times that this might help bring him out of this fear induced catatonic state he was in.

Earlier, when I tried to think of the happy moments we had shared, the first one to come to mind was on the roof of the training center. I remember sitting or laying for hours up on that roof. So the most similar place to the roof I could think of was this greenhouse. There was a section that had some of the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen, so that is the section I chose to take him to. I hoped even in his state that he would see the beauty in all the plants.

When we got to that section of the greenhouse I found a spot under a tree and pulled Peeta down next to me. I wrapped my arm in his and leaned my head on his shoulder. We just sat there in silence for a few minutes. I can't tell if he is enjoying it or not. I look at his face and ask, "Doesn't this remind you of the roof?"

Nothing.

"I remember you sketching me and some of the flowers. Do you remember how much fun we had throwing that apple into the force field and then catching it when it came back up?"

Still nothing. I lean my head back on his shoulder and just soak in the stillness.

After a while I move to sit on Peeta's lap. I pull my bag onto my lap and open the pocket.

I pull out a folded piece of paper that has been taped back together. I open it up carefully and stare at it a bit.

"I bet you wonder how I got this," I say as I look up at Peeta. " I found it torn up on the table in the observation room when I first started to come visit you."

I look at him again. "You drew this. It's of me in the cave with the bandage on my head after I got you the medicine from the cornucopia. Do you remember?"

I continue to talk, "I remember the cave. It was very peaceful. It was almost like we weren't in the games anymore. That was when you told me that you had loved me since you were five."

I lean my head against Peeta's chest and close my eyes. I can see us in the cave. I remember kissing for the first time, and though it had been for show I remember feeling the spark that surged through my body. I open my eyes and smile up at Peeta. I carefully fold up the paper and put it back in the bag.

Then I pull out a small, silver bundle. I gently unfold the corners. In the bundle is a pearl. Not just any pearl, but the pearl that Peeta gave me in the Quarter Quell.

"See I still have it. It means a lot to me, just like you mean a lot to me." I look into Peeta's vacant eyes. I take his hand and place the pearl in it. I then close his hand around it.

When I look up at his face I see a tiny tear slide down his face. I reach my hand up and with my thumb lightly brush it away. I feel a little relief to see some reaction but also great sadness. I gently open his hand and take the pearl. I wrap it back in the silver parachute, which I place back in my bag. I had somehow thought the pearl would magically snap him out of it.

My body is beginning to tremble out of aggravation and emotional exhaustion. I have tried everything I could think of to help Peeta. I have tried to be strong but can't keep going with Peeta like this.

I can feel the tears welling up inside. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in the crook of his neck. I feel the uncontrollable sobs begin to cause my whole body to convulse.

As I continue I begin to feel slight pressure around me. Then I hear his gentle voice barely above a whisper, "It's over for now. Please stop crying."

At the sound of his voice I stop crying except for small gasps for air. I lift me head, and I see the pressure is Peeta's arms wrapped around me. I look into his eyes that still seem very vacant. It almost seems like he still thinks he is in the capitol and I am another prisoner.

He is not looking at me as he pulls me in close and gently strokes my hair. I pull my arms in and lean into his warm chest as I enjoy his comforting touch. I have missed being held in his arms.

After a while, I begin to feel bad, wondering if he is still reliving the capitol in his dream like world. I can only imagine the thoughts that might be in his head. I push against him, and his arms loosen around me.

"Peeta, it's me Katniss. You're not in the capitol anymore. Please come back."

I can feel the tears coming, but before I can start to cry I lean in to lightly kiss him on the lips. I continue to kiss him more and more passionately. As I pull back to breathe, I can see a slight change in his look.

"Katniss?" he says, blinking as if trying to focus.

"Yes," I whisper and nod my head. I cup his face in my hands as the tears begin to stream down my face.

Even as I cry, I lean in to kiss him again. This time he kisses me back. When we stop we both just look into each other's eyes.

Finally Peeta asks, "Katniss, what's going on and where are we?" He looks around with wide eyes at all the beautiful plants and then back at me.

"It doesn't matter. I'm just glad you are okay."

"Okay? Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"Peeta, you haven't been 'okay' for the last few days," I say looking into his confused blue eyes. "Do you remember anything?"

Peeta thinks for a bit and then with a concerned look slowly shakes his head. "The last thing I remember is when we talked about the capitol. That was a few days ago?" He rubs his head.

I nod slowly trying to fight back the tears and guilt.

"What happened? Why don't I remember anything?"

It is all too much for my emotions to handle. "I forced you to talk about the capitol," I begin as I try to explain, but then just break down.

Peeta pulls me close and rubs my back as I cry. "Katniss, it's not your fault. Please stop crying."

"I didn't know…it would push you…over the edge," I say between sobs.

Peeta doesn't say anything but just holds me. He gently wipes away a few tears and then kisses my forehead.

I lift my head to see him looking back at me. "It was so scary," I say as the tears threaten to come again.

"Shhh," Peeta whispers as he pulls my head to his chest. "You don't have to talk about it now." I shake my head as I put my arms around him and hold him tight.

After I have calmed down considerably, I lift my head. I look at Peeta with a slight smile. "We should probably go. I didn't tell anyone I was bringing you here."

Without questioning, Peeta helps me up and then stands up himself. I pick up my bag and then take his hand in mine.

"What's in the bag?"

"I'll show you back in the room," I answer as I begin to walk.

When we get back to the room, Peeta looks around as if expecting it to have changed. I smile as I yawn. "Come on, let's get some sleep." Peeta nods and climbs in the bed after me. I lay on my side as always.

"Will you tell me more tomorrow?" he asks as he pulls me in close.

"Yes," I answer sleepily.

After a bit, I roll over so I am facing Peeta. He opens his eyes. "What?"

"Oh nothing," I say and I quickly close my eyes. I feel Peeta gently kiss my cheek, but don't open my eyes.

"Good night," he whispers.

Soon to my relief I hear his deep breathing. I am able to drift off to sleep knowing that Peeta will finally sleep tonight.


	21. Chapter 21

**Thanks to all who have reviewed my story. I really enjoy seeing what you think. A special shout out to CrunchyMuncher for being my 100th review;) Please enjoy this next chapter. I never thought I would have written such a long story and I still have ideas for future chapters. **

After training, I head to Peeta's room. I am anxious to see how he is doing. When I left this morning, he was sleeping so soundly that he did not move when I got up. I am hoping the doctors let him sleep most of the day since he had not slept in almost three days.

I open the door and enter as quietly as I can in case he is still asleep. I look at the bed and see him lying there. He is not sleeping though. He is just lying on his side staring at the wall.

My mind flashes with images of Peeta in the chair, just staring at the wall. "Peeta?" I say as I step forward almost beginning to panic. I don't think I could handle it if he had a relapse this soon.

Peeta does not answer, but at least he turns to look at me so I know he heard me.

"Are you okay?"

He just shrugs his shoulders and turns back to look at the wall again. I can see pain and sadness in his eyes. I walk over and sit on the other side of the bed. I run my fingers through his hair. He does not move except to pull his arms tighter around himself and adjust his head on the pillow.

"Peeta, what's wrong?"

He still does not answer. I lie down and wrap my arms around him just as he had always done to comfort me. I kiss his cheek tenderly then lean my head on his back and just hold him. I don't really know what to say. As we lie there, I feel his breathing slow and steady.

Then after a bit I hear his stomach growl. I lift my head up so I can see his face. "Have you eaten anything today?"

He just silently shakes his head.

"Do you want me to get you something?"

He shakes his head again.

"Peeta, you have to eat."

Finally he answers quietly, "Why?"

"What do you mean 'why'? You almost died that time you didn't eat when I was gone for the propo." I look at him with worry mixed with a little anger.

"I'm not hungry," he says as he stares at the wall. He continues in almost a whisper as I see a tear slide down his cheek, "Besides why does it matter if I die? Most people don't even know I'm alive."

I lay my head on his shoulder and entwine my fingers with his. "It matters to me," I say and brush the tear from his cheek.

"But what good am I? All I do is paint and draw pictures all day."

"I don't do that much either, trust me," I try to joke a little, but Peeta doesn't seem to notice.

"But at least you are helping with the rebellion. You're training to fight the capitol."

"You're helping too."

"Yeah, how?"

"When you were at the capitol I was useless, but when you were rescued that was when I felt stronger."

"Sometimes district 13 doesn't feel much different than the capitol. I still feel like a prisoner. I feel trapped!"

"Peeta, we all feel trapped sometimes. It's hard being inside all the time."

He shakes his head a bit. "It's different for me, Katniss," he says as he rolls to his back and looks at me. "I don't even get to leave this room. I haven't been out of this room since I decorated the cake for Finnick and Annie."

I watch in silence as a few more tears fall. I reach up and gently brush them away. Peeta rolls back over to stare at the wall. I think for a bit.

"Well then let's get out of here." Peeta turns his head and questioningly looks at me. "Come on. Get up," I say as I get up and pull on his arm.

"We can't just leave."

"Why not?" I grab his hand and pull.

He finally sits up. "Won't we get in trouble?"

"Peeta, it's the middle of the night. Who's going to see us? Besides I sneak out every night to come see you." I shrug my shoulders and smile. Peeta stands and I practically pull him to the door.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see." I place my finger on the keypad then speak into the keypad and hear the click as the door unlocks. I open the door and glance down the hall in both directions then pull Peeta into the hall.

"Are you sure we should be doing this?"

"Why not? We did it last night and didn't get caught."

"I don't remember leaving."

I turn to look up at Peeta. "What do you remember from last night?"

Peeta thinks for a bit. "I remember you putting the pearl in my hand."

I nod in confirmation.

"I remember you kissing me."

My cheeks turn a little red and I smile.

"And I remember sleeping really well."

"Well, you should have. You didn't sleep for like three days. Now come on, we're wasting time." I take hold of Peeta's hand and walk down the hall. Soon we reach the kitchen.

"What are we doing here?"

"Getting a snack of course. You may not be hungry but I am." I turn and smirk at him as I open the door. I let go of his hand and head to one wall of cabinets. "Look through those cabinets till you find something edible." Peeta just stands there as I begin to open doors. I find a bag of bread and set it on the counter, then glance at Peeta.

"If you don't help you will have to eat whatever I pick out." I smile as I hold out a can of creamed asparagus.

Peeta makes a face and heads over to a cabinet. He opens the door slowly as if not sure what might be inside. He looks for a few seconds then shakes his head and closes it. He opens the next one as I open the refrigerator. "Found something."

I turn to see him pull out a can of peaches. "Good one. Now find a can opener." I pull out some thinly sliced meat and cheese, which I place next to the bread. Peeta finds the can opener and opens the peaches, which he pours in a plastic container.

"While you find the spoons I'll make us sandwiches."

While looking for spoons he finds a box of cookies from the capitol and sets it next to the bread. When I am finished making the sandwiches we place all of our finds in my hunting bag that is hanging on its peg.

"Now what?"

"Follow me," I say as I sling the bag over my shoulder and reach my hand out to Peeta.

He takes it and follows me out the door. I walk down the long hallway just as I had last night. When we get to the right door I open it and walk in. I am jerked to a stop as Peeta just stands and stares. I look back to see his eyes wide with wonder, almost like a kid in a candy shop.

"Does any of this look familiar?"

Peeta shakes his head but doesn't say a word as he continues to take it all in.

"Come on," I say and pull on his hand. He follows but keeps looking around.

"Katniss, how did you find this place?" he says, still in awe.

"Finnick showed it to me."

I am pulled to a stop again as Peeta reaches out a hand to touch one of the big orange flowers on a tall plant. I look from the flower to Peeta's face. I can't help but smile as I see the pure pleasure he finds in the beauty of the flower.

I pull Peeta a little farther before I settle on the floor under one of the palm trees. It is like the ones we saw in district 4 on the victor's tour.

I open my hunting bag and pull out the sandwiches, peaches, and cookies. Peeta sits down next to me but still can't take his eyes off all the plants.

"Peeta, here," I say placing the sandwich in his hand.

"Oh, thanks," he says looking at it and then smiling at me. I hold up mine and take a bite. Peeta takes a bite of his but his attention quickly turns back to the plants. After the sandwiches we eat the peaches and then a few cookies.

"I guess I didn't realize how hungry I was," Peeta says as he looks over and takes another cookie. "I told you, you needed to eat," I say as I put the lid on the empty peach container and put it and the spoons back in my bag. Peeta closes the cookie box and hands it to me too. "Here, better put them away before I eat them all." I smile and put them in my bag and set the bag off to the side.

Then I scoot closer to Peeta. He puts his arm around my shoulder and leans his head on mine.

After a long silence Peeta speaks, "So tell me, what happened to me for the last few days?"

I sigh, as I knew that question would come up sooner or later. I lift my gray eyes and meet his blue ones staring down at me. "Do you remember telling me about your time in the capitol?"

Peeta nods not taking his eyes off mine.

"Well, when I woke up later that night I found you sitting in your chair and just staring blankly at the wall. When I talked to you, you didn't answer. You didn't seem to even know I was there."

"What was wrong with me?"

"I didn't know, so I went and got mom. She checked you over but couldn't figure anything out. The next day your doctors were all there along with Haymitch when I came to see you."

"What did they say?"

"One said you were acting like other patients he had had that were rescued from the capitol. He said something about your mind shutting down to prevent you from feeling or remembering as little pain as possible."

Peeta looked away for a bit until he felt me shudder. He looked back down at me. "Are you cold?"

"No," I say still in thought, "I was just thinking of how scared I was when I didn't know if you were going to come out of it or not."

Peeta pulls me close and wraps both arms around me then kisses my forehead. "It's okay now," he says, leaning his head against mine. I lean into his chest enclosed in his arms and close my eyes as I can feel the tears threatening to come. I reach up to quickly wipe away the tear that escapes my eye. We sit for a long while in silence.

"We should probably go," Peeta says, as I am almost asleep. I lift my head sleepily and look up to find him smiling down at me.

I stand up and pick up my bag without a word. I feel Peeta take my hand as we walk out the door and down the long hall. When we get back to Peeta's room I set my bag by the door and crawl into bed without another thought. Peeta climbs in after me.

"Thanks," he says as he pulls me close.

"For what?"

"For taking me out. I feel much better."

"You're welcome," I mumble already half asleep.

Just as I am about to drift off Peeta asks me a question. "What?" I say rolling over to look at him.

"Do you think they will ever let me out of this room?"

I breathe deeply still trying to figure out what he is talking about since my mind is still half asleep.

"I mean like you and everyone else," Peeta continues when he can see I don't understand.

"Oh," I say as my mind is remembering what Peeta had said earlier. "Maybe? I mean you haven't had an episode in a long time and you did so well on the cake. Maybe you can work in the kitchen with Greasy Sae. I'm sure she would love to have your help."

Peeta nods but I can tell he is thinking of other things too.

"What?" I question when I see a look on his face.

"I want to train so I can fight against the capitol too."

I nod my head understanding some of what is going on in his head. I remember when they almost did not let me train because they said they wanted to keep me safe since I am the "mockingjay".

"Will you come and talk to my doctors with me?" Peeta says in a pleading voice. "Maybe if we both talk to them they will listen."

"Sure," I say as a yawn also escapes my lips.

Peeta smiles as he lays down his head and closes his eyes. I roll over and close my eyes too.


	22. Chapter 22

**Here is the next chapter. Sorry it took so long it has been a busy time. My sisters and I want to a Steampunk expo. We had lots of fun and saw many cool costumes.**

I go to get my schedule printed on my arm like I do every morning even though most of the stuff I have no intention of doing. Then I head to my room to take a quick shower.

As I enter the room Buttercup lifts his head and hisses. I hiss back and grab my clothes as I head into the bathroom. The warm water both wakes me up and relaxes me. After my shower I dress and braid my hair then head out.

I get to the outer door to go hunting at exactly the time on my arm. Boggs is on guard.

"I see you're on time," he says as he scans my arm.

"I'm always on time for the things I enjoy," I say with a smirk as I pass through the door after grabbing my bag and bow.

I walk out into the woods and find a tree to perch in. It is not long before I spot several pheasants gathered in a bush. I know I will have to be quick if I am going to get very many. I pick the one in the lead to shoot first and take careful aim. Just as I am pulling the arrow back I hear a voice down below.

"I got you now you sneaky birds."

I look down to see Gale. "Gale," I whisper.

He looks up to see me sitting in the tree. "Good," he says, "Now we can get all of them. You shoot first and get the ones that come out the front. I'll get the ones that come out the back."

I nod and take careful aim. After the first arrow there is frenzy of birds flying everywhere. We both keep shooting until no more come out of the bush. Then I jump down from my perch and gather the ones I shot. "I think only two or three got away."

Gale goes to pick up his. "That was good teamwork, Catnip," he says as he puts the birds in his bag.

We both turn at the same time to look at each other. "Want to come with me? Maybe we can find some more pheasant."

"Sure," I say lifting the bag on my shoulder. We walk a ways in silence until we come to a little stream. Gale pulls out a small canteen and fills it with water. He holds it up to me. "Thanks." He takes a swig when I hand it back.

Then he walks to a nearby group of rocks and sits down. I sit down too to relax in the shade as the day is starting to warm up.

Gale glances over at me. "So, how is Peeta?" I look over with a hint of surprise since we had not really talked since our argument the other day. Gale actually looked interested. "What? I don't hate him. I just don't really like that you spend so much time with him."

"He's doing much better. Thanks for asking," I say with a little smile. I scoot a little closer and lean my head on his shoulder. "You're still my best friend you know."

"Good," he says leaning his head on mine. Although we don't say much the rest of the time it is nice to spend time with Gale. It is nice to not have to be the strong one.

"We better head back. I have to meet with Beetee," says Gale after a while.

"I guess." I sigh as he reaches for my hand to pull me up. We slowly walk back to the door. We both drop off our bags at the kitchen before parting ways. I watch Gale saunter down the hall before turning to head back to Peeta's room.

I knock before I enter his room, since I know his doctors will be there. "Come in," I hear one of them answer. Peeta looks up from the chair and smiles as I walk in. The doctors both look a bit surprised as I walk over to sit on the bed.

"Can we help you?" one doctor asks. I look at Peeta and he nods.

"Well, Peeta and I had a few questions to ask you." The doctors look at me and then at Peeta.

"We wanted to know if I could start helping in the kitchen." The doctors both exchange glances so Peeta quickly continues, "I could bake bread for the meals."

"You could have Greasy Sae supervise him," I quickly add as I walk over and sit on the arm of the chair.

As the doctors talk quietly with each other for a while, I feel Peeta's hand reach up and take hold of mine. I squeeze his hand in reassurance.

The doctors finally look at us and one says, "We think that would be okay if Greasy Sae will agree to take responsibility for Peeta. We also think it would be wise to have a guard on hand for a few days to make sure things go well."

Peeta and I both nod our heads. "That would be fine with me," says Peeta as a smile slowly creeps up on his face.

"Of course we will have to clear it with President Coin first," says the other doctor. "We will let you know as soon as we can."

The doctors begin to walk toward the door when Peeta speaks up, "I would also like to train so I can help fight against the capitol."

The doctors both look at each other then they look back at Peeta. "We are not sure if that is such a good idea."

"Why not?" I put in. The doctors both look me in the eye.

"Because, Miss Everdeen, we are not sure how Peeta may react to fighting and battle sounds. He has not been in any kind of situation like that since before the capitol. Plus we are also not sure what he will do when he sees you in those kinds of situations. If you remember many of his memories of you that were highjacked were of you during the hunger games. Seeing you in training may bring up those visions."

I can see the disappointment in Peeta's eyes. I stand and take a step toward the doctors. "But what if we didn't train in the same group? There are plenty of other groups Peeta could be in."

"We will have to talk to President Coin first." One doctor gives me a look as if that is the final answer for now. I nod and sit back down on the armrest.

"Well, I think that went well," I say after the doctors leave.

"I really hope they let me train, but at least I can probably help in the kitchen."

I look at Peeta, "I know Greasy Sae will be more than happy to have your help in the kitchen."

"It will be good to bake. I hope I haven't lost my knack."

"Yeah, I'm sure that could happen," I say sarcastically. "That cake you made was spectacular."

"Thanks," Peeta says as he looks at me with a twinkle in his eyes.

We continue talking until my stomach growls and I see it is time for lunch. "I have to go. I'm supposed to meet up with mom and Prim."

"Okay, see you later. Hopefully I will have news from the doctors by that time."

I hurry out the door and meet up with my usual lunch group. I tell them about Peeta and they all seem to think it is a great idea. Gale tells me I am to go see Beetee after the meal so we walk down to special defense together.

Beetee smiles at me when I enter. "Just the archer I have been wanting to see. I have a new arrow that Gale and I have been working on. We want you to test it."

I follow Beetee over to the table. He picks up an arrow and hands it to me. I look it over and furrow my brows. "It doesn't look any different than my other arrows."

"Oh, but bring it to the test range and you'll see what happens."

I follow closely behind Beetee as Gale walks next to me. We walk down the hall a few doors. We enter the room I have been in many times to either try out or watch one of Beetee's inventions.

He picks up the bow that is already in the room and hands both the bow and the arrow to me. "Aim for the dummy," he says as he points to the end of the range. I take careful aim and let the arrow fly. As soon as the arrow leaves the bow it bursts into flames. When it hits the dummy, the dummy bursts into flames too.

"How did it do that?"

"Come back to the work room and I will show you," Beetee says as he pushes a button on the wall to make a sprinkler come on to put out the flame.

Back in the workroom Beetee picks up an identical arrow from off the desk. I step close. "You see the end of the arrow?"

I nod.

"Well, feel it." He holds the arrow out so I can run my finger along the end.

"It feels rough."

"Yes, much like a match. So when your bow rubs against it, it's similar to striking a match. We are planning on adding some of these to your quiver when you go on propos."

"But how will I know which is which? I may not want to shoot one that will ignite."

"We will put in a divider so you can put them on one side and your regular arrows on the other."

"You've already thought of everything."

"We try," says Beetee pushing his glasses up on his nose.

"Well, I better let you two get back to work." I close the door as they both go to huddle over the desk.

I hide out for a while before heading back to Peeta's room. Peeta is coming out with one of his doctors and a guard. Peeta smiles when he sees me. "Greasy Sae has already said she wants me in the kitchen. We are on the way there now."

"That's great." I reach up and give him a hug.

He is smiling from ear to ear. "President Coin also has given the okay for me to start training."

"Great," I say as they head down the hall. "I'll see you later." Peeta waves and I head back to my room.

I lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling. My eyes slowly close as sleep overcomes me.

In my dream I am at training with Boggs as usual. He is working us hard on the track, making us sprint and then drop and do pushups.

I am just getting up from pushups when I look over to see Peeta with a gun. He is looking through the scope and shifting the gun around the area as if he is looking for someone. I watch as the gun slowly turns in my direction and then stops completely.

I know I should run but it is like my body is frozen as I watch Peeta pull the trigger. In slow motion I see the bullet heading straight for my head. I can't move or even scream, as the bullet gets closer.

As the bullet is only inches from my face I jerk awake. My hands cover my face as I feel the sweat trickle down my forehead. I have to sit for several minutes to let my heart stop pounding. I glance at the clock and see it is time for dinner, but I am not hungry. I decide to go to the cafeteria anyways because I need something to get the image of Peeta shooting me out of my mind.

I get a tray and stand in line. As I pass by the door that leads to the kitchen I glance inside. I see Peeta talking and laughing with the kitchen ladies. I catch his eye and wave.

He jumps up from his chair and comes to the door. "Make sure you get the bread. It's your favorite." I smile as Peeta smiles and ducks back in the kitchen.

The lady serving the meat spoons the brown chunk onto my tray before I can protest. But my scowl quickly disappears as I get a whiff of a wonderful smell. I instantly know what it is.

Cheese Bread! My mouth begins to water as the small roll is placed on my tray.

When the lady is distracted by a loud crash coming from the kitchen I quickly grab two more rolls and stuff them in my pockets. At this point I don't care if they are a little squished or have pocket fuzz on them.

I hurry away and over to the table. When I sit down I pull the rolls out of my pocket and place them on my tray. Finnick glances over at my tray.

"Hey, how did you get so many?"

"Quick hands, all hunters have them," I say and raise my hands up.

"Wow, look at that guy?" Finnick says. Our whole table turns and looks but sees nothing.

When I look back at my tray I notice one of my rolls are gone. I glare at Finnick.

He just gives me a big grin. "Quick minds, some victors have them." I shake my head and start eating my food.

After dinner I head off with Johanna to training. Our group is starting early to avoid "the clog" that usually happens on the obstacle course. As I pass to each station I keep an eye as each group comes in.

I finally see who I am looking for. Peeta enters with a group of all boys. I watch as he starts the course.

I keep watching him, which causes me to run into the back of Johanna.

"Give me some room, Fire Girl!" she says as she shoves me back.

This causes me to loose my balance and fall back against the guy behind me. He in turn stumbles back. Soon there are five of us sitting on the hard ground.

We all glare at Johanna as she takes the rope and easily swings across the mud pit as if she had nothing to do with it. The rest of us get up and dust off our pants. "What are you waiting for?" Johanna says as she swings the rope back over to me. I glare but don't say a word. I try to pay better attention for the rest of training.

When we are finished I glance around to see that Peeta's group has gotten stuck in "the clog". I wait for a bit but decide to go take a shower before going to Peeta's room.

When I get to his room I find him sprawled out in the middle of the bed. He opens his eyes as I shut the door. "So how was training?"

"Hard. I didn't realize how out of shape I've gotten."

"I'm sure it will get better." I smile and stand next to the edge of the bed.

"Join me," Peeta says and pats the space next to him.

I look down at him and shake my head. "I don't think so."

"Come on."

"I'm not laying next to you when you're all sweaty. I just took my shower."

Before I know what is happening Peeta reaches over and grabs my arm. He pulls me on the bed and rolls over so he is smiling down at me. At first I am surprised at his spontaneous actions but I quickly smile back.

He leans down and kisses me softly on the lips. As he pulls away I lean up and kiss him back. We continue to kiss for a few minutes until Peeta pulls away and rolls onto his back.

Peeta reaches over and takes my hand in his. We both just lie there and stare into each other's eyes.

Soon Peeta yawns. "I better take my shower before I fall asleep. I haven't worked this much in a long time."

I continue to lie on the bed and wait. I am almost asleep when he comes out. He silently climbs into bed and wraps his arms around me.

"Do I smell better?" he asks as he snuggles in close.

I simply nod as I turn to lean against his chest. I reach up and give him a quick kiss and whisper "Good Night" as I close my eyes.

"Good Night," he whispers back and kisses my forehead.

**Sorry this is not my best chapter. It is kind of a filler but the next one should be much better.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Sorry for the wait. It has been a busy week with Thanksgiving. Enjoy!**

Things have been going very well. Peeta has been much happier now that he gets out. He spends most of the day helping in the kitchen. I usually stay to visit him when I bring in my bag after hunting. The kitchen ladies all love him, and there is constant chatter as they all have stories from their districts. The bread has improved and they are now starting to serve dessert once a week, usually a different kind of cake.

Then we have training in the evening. I can tell Peeta is getting stronger and more in shape. Usually we meet up at Peeta's room after training is over.

But one evening as I finish with my evening training Boggs calls me over. "They want you to go to the hospital."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I was just given the message to send you."

I nod and head to the hospital as I try to think why they would need me. Mom and Prim are the ones who work there. I am beginning to worry that something happened to one of them.

As I step off the elevator onto the hospital floor, I glance around for one of the nurses or doctors that I know. My eyes scan the room until I see Prim helping an elderly man walk down the hall. She is obviously all right, so I quickly walk over and wait for her. When she settles him in his bed and comes out in the hall, she smiles when she sees me.

"What are you doing here?"

"I don't know really. Boggs was told to send me to the hospital. I was hoping you might know."

"I have no idea either, Katniss, but I can ask the doctor in charge."

"That would be great. Thanks."

I follow Prim back to the waiting room. I wait as she heads over to a tall man with a clipboard. I see her talking and gesturing over to me. The doctor tells her something and she nods. She quickly walks back over to me.

"The doctor says that Peeta was brought in during training."

"Why?"

"He didn't say, but let's see what room he is in."

Prim walks over to the nurse at the reception desk and asks for Peeta Mellark's room number. The nurse looks at her list and tells Prim he is in room 106.

We walk down the hall and find the door is open. The small room is crowded with two doctors, a nurse, and Haymitch.

"I need to get back to my duties," Prim whispers. "I'll come back at the end of my shift in three hours."

"Okay," I reply.

I watch Prim hurry back down the hall then I turn around and pull on Haymitch's elbow. He turns around and comes out in the hall with me.

"What happened to Peeta?"

"I don't know yet. I just got here too."

I look into the room to try to get a glimpse of Peeta, but I can't see past the doctors. Finally one of the doctor moves and I gasp. Peeta is laying on the bed unconscious with a breathing mask and is hooked up to monitors. He has a badly swollen black eye and a bloody lip.

I push past the doctors and sink to my knees next to the bed. "Peeta," I choke out and brush the hair carefully back from his face. I reach down and take his hand that lies limply beside him. "What happened?" By this time Haymitch is by my side with his hand on my shoulder.

"We are not really sure what happened. Peeta was unconscious when they brought him in. He has a cracked rib and several bruises."

I look down at his bare chest and notice his torso is wrapped in gauze.

The doctor continues, "His captain said that he had left training for a few minutes to check on something, and when he returned Peeta was on the ground. The other guys were just standing around and none of them would tell him anything. We will have to wait for Peeta to wake up. Maybe he will remember and be able to tell us what happened."

Another doctor speaks, "We stabilized his breathing with the oxygen mask and gave him a shot of morphling. That should help with the pain and swelling."

I nod my head but can't pull my eyes off Peeta.

"There is nothing more we can do, Miss Everdeen. We have other patients we need to care for, but one of us will be back later to check on him. You're welcome to stay with him," says the last doctor as he exits the room.

I look up when I hear the door shut. Haymitch is the only other person left in the room. He drops his hand from my shoulder and walks over to pull one of the chairs from the corner of the room. He motions me to sit down, then goes back to sit in the other chair.

I slump down into the chair while still holding Peeta's hand. We are both silent. The only sounds are the machines that Peeta is hooked up to and his shallow labored breathing. I sit and stare at his pale face. Things were just beginning to go well and now this.

I can feel the tears forming as I try to shake the fear of losing him. I thought I had lost him several timed: during the quarter quell, when he was in the capitols hands, when he almost starved himself to death, and when his mind shut down. I bring his hand to my lips and gently kiss it. "Don't leave me, Peeta," I whisper.

Suddenly there is a quiet knock on the door. Haymitch and I both look up as the door slowly opens. I am expecting to see Prim but instead I see a boy who looks to be about 15. He is short and skinny. His skin is pale but his hair is dark like mine.

"Can we help you?" Haymitch asks as we both just stare at him.

He looks a little unsure but finally speaks in little more than a whisper, "I wanted to see if Peeta was okay, sir."

"Who are you, and how do you know Peeta?"

"My name is Cheth and I'm in his training group. I'm the one who got our commander when Peeta got beat up."

Haymitch and I both look at him with wide eyes. The boy suddenly looks at the floor and fidgets with his hands.

"Do you know what happened to Peeta?" Haymitch asks him. He slowly nods his head without looking up from the floor.

"Please tell us," I ask almost pleading.

Cheth lifts his head and looks at me. "Some of the guys from our training team beat him up."

"Why?"

Cheth looked as if he was trying to decide how much he should say.

"Why did they beat him up?" Haymitch asks as he begins to rise from his seat.

Cheth backs up a few steps but quickly continues. "Some of the guys are bullies. They started calling Peeta a capitol mutt to make him angry. When he ignored them and tried to walk away, Sythe, the leader started shoving him. Peeta finally turned around and punched Sythe in the face. That was all the reason they needed. They attacked him, punching him."

Cheth looked apologetically at me. "I wanted to help Peeta, but I knew they would just beat me up too. When he fell and they started kicking him, I ran to get our captain. He was unconscious when we got back."

Cheth took a few steps toward Peeta and then looks at me. "I'm sorry and I really hope he gets better. Peeta's a really good guy. He didn't deserve what they did."

Cheth nervously looks at the ground for a bit then slowly looks back at me. "I better be going, but if there's anything else I can do, let me know."

"Thanks," I smile a little and nod. As he leaves I turn my attention back to Peeta. I gently rub my thumb back and forth against his hand. I yawn, and so does Haymitch.

"If I'm going to stay awake, I need some coffee. Do you want any?" Haymitch asks as he stands and heads for the door.

"No thanks."

By the time he comes back I have my arm laying on the edge of the bed and my head resting on it. Haymitch settles back in his chair without a word.

I close my eyes for what seems like only a few minutes when I am startled awake by Peeta's body suddenly jerking. I lift my head and see Peeta's dilated eyes. I think he is having one of his episodes, since he is staring with wide eyes at the ceiling, and I feel a shiver pass down his body.

As a monitor begins to beep loudly, two doctors come rushing in. I quickly move back and almost stumble over Haymitch's feet. I sit on the arm of Haymitch's chair and watch the doctors. As they press buttons and move things around on Peeta, he suddenly begins to fight them.

"Don't touch me!" Peeta shouts. "Leave me alone!"

They grab his arms to restrain him as he tries to pull off his oxygen mask. "Mr. Mellark, you need to lie still." But this just makes him fight harder. A nurse pokes her head in to see what all the commotion is. "We need help!" one doctor quickly tells her. Soon more hospital staff come rushing in and grab hold of Peeta. I can tell he is fighting back with all his strength.

"Stop it! You're hurting him!" I yell and run to Peeta. "He doesn't know what's going on. I think he is having one of his hallucinations!" I manage to cup his face in both hands. "Peeta, stop struggling. They are only trying to help." My pleading does nothing as the pain and panic have taken over.

Even when they finally manage to hold his body still, I can still see the crazed, panicked look in his eyes. I reach down and take hold of his shoulders. I can feel his body is tense as every muscle is straining against the hold they have on him.

"Peeta, snap out of it." Even though sweat is soaking his face, I lean down to kiss his temple. "It's me Katniss. You're safe. I won't let anything happen to you," I whisper in his ear. I can feel his body continue to tremble and hear him breathing rapidly.

"Shhh, Peeta, shhh." I begin to caress the side of his face. "It's okay." I can feel his body slowly begin to relax. As I look at his eyes I can see his pupils slowly shrink back to normal.

At this the staff begin to loosen their grip. Some of them let go all together. I continue to stroke his face until his breathing has slowed.

He lies perfectly still, but his gaze travels around the room slowly taking everything in. Then his eyes turn to look at me and he raises a hand so his fingers gently touch my cheek. "Katniss," he says in a hoarse voice that is barely audible through the oxygen mask.

I smile softly and I feel a tear escape my eye. His thumb slowly wipes it away as he tries to smile back though I can see the pain in his eyes.

"Where…am I?" he asks between labored breaths.

"You're in the hospital." I gently run my hand down his cheek. "Your captain brought you in after he found you beaten up. Do you remember any thing?"

He closes his eyes for a bit as if trying to remember, and then opens them. "A little."

He winces in pain as he moves to try to get more comfortable. I reach down to squeeze his hand and he takes hold of my fingers.

"Can you tell us what happened or at least what you remember?" one doctor asks. I back away to look at the doctors, but continue to hold his hand. Peeta looks over at the doctor and nods slowly.

He tells us what happened though he has to pause to draw a breath every few words. "When training…was almost over…our captain left. We watched…the other groups…train. Some of the guys…started talking about…doing Katniss. When I told…them to stop,…one guy asked…what I was…going to do…about it …and he called me…a capitol mutt. I tried…to walk away, but…he shoved me. So I punched him. Then they all…attacked me."

"That's enough. You don't have to tell us anymore. Rest, son," the closest doctor says and pats Peeta's leg reassuringly.

Peeta closes his eyes and focuses on breathing. Just that little story has taken a lot out of him.

"We should probably let him rest," another doctor says as he looks from me to Haymitch. Haymitch nods and stands to leave.

I slowly stand and begin to pull my hand from Peeta's to leave as well, but I suddenly feel Peeta's hand grasp onto the tips of my fingers. I look and see his eyes open widely as he silently pleads with me to stay.

"Okay," I whisper as I squeeze his hand and sit on the edge of his bed. He slowly relaxes his hold and closes his eyes. I can see the sweat trickle down the side of his face, so I gingerly reach over for the cloth lying on the bedside table. Peeta opens his eyes sleepily as I wipe off his face and neck. I wipe off his arms and chest until I reach the bandage.

When I am finished I sit back down in my chair. I pull my legs up and hug them to my chest. I feel helpless as I watch as Peeta seem to fight for each breath.

I am tired enough that even his labored breathing is enough to almost lull me to sleep, but then I hear the door creak a bit as someone comes in. I know it is Prim by the light tap of her shoes.

"Oh, poor Peeta," she quietly utters as she walks over to stand next to my chair. "What happened to him?" she whispers.

"Some of guys in his training group beat him up."

"Why would they do it?"

"Cause they are bullies, and like to pick on people."

She sits down on the edge of my chair. "Katniss, I'm so sorry." She hugs my shoulders and rests her head on top of mine. I lean against her and close my eyes. It feels good to be held.

After a while I open my eyes when I feel Prim get up. She walks silently over to the closet and pulls out a blanket to drape over me.

I then scoot over and open the blanket to reveal room in the chair next to me. Prim climbs in next to me and I secure the blanket around both of us. I wrap my arms around her as she snuggles close to me just like we used to do on cold winter nights back in district 12. Soon we are both asleep.

I do not sleep well as I wake up each time the nurse comes in to check on Peeta or when he groans as he restlessly moves in his sleep.

I get up to hold his hand when he cries out in his sleep from nightmares. Then I rub my hand up and down his arm until I can't feel his body tremble anymore.

When the doctor comes in the room in the morning, Prim and I decide to go back to our room.

"I'll be back later," I whisper to Peeta and gently kiss his forehead.


	24. Chapter 24

**A special thanks goes out to elisemellark for the idea of this chapter:)**

Peeta's POV

I gently brush my lips against Katniss's forehead as I head to the door. Now that I work in the kitchen, I am usually the first one up.

Katniss mumbles, "Bye, Peeta," and then rolls over to go back to sleep.

I wait at the door and soon hear Myke. He always comes to escort me to the kitchen. "Morning, Myke," I say with a smile. Myke just gestures to the hall with his hand. He is definitely not a morning person until he has had about three cups of coffee. We walk down the hall and to the elevator, which takes us to the kitchen.

Greasy Sae and several other women are already busy making breakfast. Myke takes his usual seat as one of the women hands him his mug of black coffee. "Ah, just the way I like it. Black as oil."

I put on the apron that was sewn by Burdette, who is from district 8. She tells stories of working late into the night making peacekeeper uniforms. Sometimes she says they would purposely sew pockets shut or sew on the buttons uneven with the buttonholes just to make the peacekeepers look foolish.

There is a chorus of "Good Mornings" from all over the kitchen.

"Good morning, Ladies," I reply as I head over to my spot with Challah; she is a feisty old woman from district 11. She was a neighbor to Rue's family. She has a love for Katniss, since she tried to help Rue in the games. If she is working in the food line, she always gives Katniss an extra helping of whatever she is serving. Most of the time Katniss likes this, except when she is serving the vegetables.

Today we are making my famous cheesy bread. When I pull the first loaves out of the oven all the ladies gather around. Of course they have to make sure I made it right this time.

"You never know when you might have made a mistake," winks Greasy Sae.

All the women nod in agreement as I cut a slice for everyone. Even Myke gets up from his chair in the corner. Soon everyone is back to work.

After breakfast, I start peeling potatoes for lunch. While I do this, I watch the clock, as I know Katniss should be in about 11:00. This is usually when she finishes hunting and brings in her catch.

"Morning, ladies," I hear as Katniss enters. I look to see her toss her bag in the corner and head over to me.

I walk over to her. "For you," I say with a smile as I hold out the cheesy bread that I saved her since she usually sleeps right through breakfast.

"Thanks," she says as I lead the way over to the stool next to mine. I sit down and continue to peel potatoes as Katniss eats her bread.

"So, how was hunting?" I glance up as I throw a peeled potato into the bucket.

"It was good. I shot three turkeys."

"I hope others got turkeys too. Maybe we can fix them for dinner tomorrow." We continue to talk until Katniss has to leave. She is supposed to go to class, but I doubt she will go. I'm not really sure what Katniss does all day.

After I help serve lunch and clean up, it is time to head back to my room. Myke follows me down the hall and waits for me to close the door. I hope soon that they will trust me enough to put a normal door on my room so I can come and go like everyone else.

It is only 2:30 so I have some time to kill before supper. I decide to do some painting. I paint some of the ladies from the kitchen: Greasy Sae standing over the pot of soup tasting it, Challah kneading the dough, and Ginger laughing because Burdette spilled the pepper and started sneezing in the cloud it created. Finally I paint Katniss eating the cheesy bread.

By the time I finish cleaning up and change into clean clothes it is almost 6:00. Haymitch should be here soon. He usually comes to get me for supper.

"Hey, Lover Boy, are you ready to eat?"

"Yes, Haymitch," I reply, rolling my eyes. I'm still not sure what pleasure he gets out of calling me that.

We walk down the hall and take the stairs, as the elevators are usually crowded at mealtime. When we get to the cafeteria, we find Finnick and Annie in line so we join them.

"Hey, guys," Finnick says as Annie just gives us a shy smile. "So, what's for supper?"

"Chicken, potatoes, and carrots." Finnick just nods his head as he picks up a tray for both he and Annie. "Oh, and chocolate cake with raspberry cream."

"Yum, the meal is sounding better." I chuckle when Finnick's eyes light up.

We file through the line and then head over to the table where Prim, Katniss, and Mrs. Everdeen are already sitting.

"Hi, everyone." Prim waves as we sit down.

"Hello, Prim," I say as I sit down next to Katniss.

Soon Gale joins us and sits on the other side of Katniss. "What a long day," he sighs.

"What happened?" Katniss questioned.

"Oh, some of the other guys and I were changing the oil in the hovercrafts. Then Blade forgot to put the lid tightly on the barrel when he tipped it over to roll it to the storage container. It made a huge mess and took a couple of hours to clean up."

"Sorry," Katniss said as she gave Gale her most convincing sad face.

When the meal was finished Katniss, Gale, Finnick, and I head off for training. I find Cheth waiting for me just outside the door. He is the only teammate that is very friendly to me. The rest of the guys usually give me the cold shoulder, which hurts some. But then again, I am here to train, not to make friends. Cheth and I head over to our captain.

As soon as all the guys are here, we start in on the first exercise, which is to climb the wall with just a rope. It is getting easier for me since I use my arms all the time in the kitchen. I grab Cheth's hand to help him over the top.

"Thanks, Peeta."

"Good teamwork, men," calls out our captain.

While jogging to the next station, I look around to see if I can find Katniss. She is over at the tires.

When we are finished with every station, we head over to the track for sprints. "Keep running," says our captain as he is called away by one of the other captains to look for some ankle weights that we used yesterday.

But as soon as he is gone, everyone but Cheth and I slow down to a jog. I can hear them talking but just keep going. When we finish our laps Cheth and I slow down to walk behind the others.

"Look at that girl. She is hot," one boy says.

"Yeah, but not as hot as Johanna," another guy cuts in.

We all watch Johanna for a bit. She is fighting one of her teammates on the balance logs. She quickly knocks him off and pins him to the ground with the jousting stick. Sweat is making her shirt stick to her slender frame.

"I'd like to do it with her," says Copper.

"Like you would have a chance," Sythe laughs out loud. "No one does it with Johanna. She wouldn't let you near her. She'd beat you to a pulp before you even had a chance to kiss her once."

We all watch Johanna fight off two more guys before Katniss gets on the log. Both girls fight hard and almost fall off several times. Katniss finally gets Johanna by backing her off the end.

"Now, she's the one that _I_ want," says Sythe.

I chuckle a little imagining Sythe trying to be with Katniss.

"What are you laughing at Bread Boy?" I got this nickname because they all know I work in the kitchen. Sythe takes a step toward me.

"Nothing," I say looking away and back at Katniss.

Sythe turns his attention back to Katniss too. "Wouldn't I like to get that feisty girl in bed. I bet she can really get it on."

"Not that you'll ever find out," I snort.

Sythe turns and glares at me. "Oh yeah, what would she ever have to do with you. You filthy capitol mutt."

This causes the hair to stand up on the back of my neck and every muscle in my body tense up. Maybe because I have thought these same words when I was feeling depressed and alone. I clench my fists, as I look at him sideways once then turn around. He's not worth risking "house" arrest and I could really care less about what he thinks.

"Don't turn your back on me, mutt," Sythe says as I turn to walk away.

"Leave me alone," I say as I take a few steps.

"Hey, mutt, why don't you fight like a man?"

"Why don't you act like a man instead of a jerk," I mumble as I keep walking.

"What did you say, mutt?" Sythe says as he shoves me on the back.

"Don't touch me, Sythe," I warn him as I can feel the blood pounding in my head and fists. I don't want to have an episode for all those training to see.

"You're just a big chicken, mutt," he says and shoves me harder. This time I stumble a little. I can hear all the guys behind me laughing.

I try to keep walking but all of a sudden Sythe grabs my arm, "I said, 'Don't turn your back on me,'"

As he continues to grip my arm, I have finally had enough. I take one swing at him and my fist connects with his cheek. "I said 'Don't touch me,'" I glare at Sythe who is holding his cheek.

He slowly looks up at me with rage in his eyes. "No one messes with Sythe. Get him, boys."

Soon all of Sythe's guys are coming at me. I try to duck or move out of the way as they all swing at me, but too quickly one makes contact. I am struck again and again in the face, stomach, and back.

Since I am way outnumbered, after many hits I am soon overpowered and fall to the ground. Even then they still attack me. I try to cover my face as they continually kick me in the stomach and back. I can hear Cheth in the background yelling for them to stop, but they don't listen.

I try to get up but Sythe kicks me right in the ribs. I thought I heard a crack as I cry out in pain.

They are all yelling and jeering at me as my vision begins to blur. I try to get up but fall to the ground even though no one touches me. The last thing I hear is Sythe telling me to get up as everything around me goes black.


	25. Chapter 25

I get up after Prim leaves for work. Then I get dressed and head down the hall to get my schedule printed on my arm. It is almost time to hunt. I look forward to being out in nature.

When I get to the outside door, Boggs stops me to ask, "Why did they need you in the hospital?"

"Peeta got beat up pretty bad and was taken there."

"How is he?"

"Not so good. He has a cracked rib, black eye, and a lot of bruises."

"Who beat him up?"

"Some of the guys from his training group."

"He must be in Butch's group. He has some tough guys."

"Maybe. I don't know who his captain is."

"Well, I hope he gets better soon. I'm sure they will move him to a new group."

"That would be good, but I think those guys need to be punished also."

"Did anyone else see it happen?"

"Yes, but I don't know if he will tell on who did it. He seemed pretty scared of getting beat up too."

"I don't think anything will happen to them then."

"Something needs to happen," I snap at Boggs.

"If we have no proof, then we can't punish them."

"Look at Peeta. He's the proof."

"But Soldier Everdeen, it does not prove who did it."

I can feel the heat rising in my blood so I just grab my bag and storm off. If Boggs won't help I will have to find my own way to punish them. I stomp through the gate and into the forest. As I walk I grumble to myself.

Finally I flop my bag down and sit with my back against a large tree. I close my eyes and try to focus on my breathing. I am so angry right now I feel like I could explode. My mind keeps thinking of Peeta in his hospital bed and then imagining when he was getting beat up.

Suddenly I hear, "Katniss, are you alright?"

I slowly open my eyes to see Gale standing in front to me. "I'm fine, Gale. Just peachy." I look down at the ground as I pull my knees up to my chest.

Gale looks at me a little longer then sits down next to me. "It doesn't take years of hunting with you to tell that something is wrong. What happened?" Gale puts a strong arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer. I just lean against him and take several deep breaths then look up to see Gale's gray eyes staring back down at me.

"It's Peeta. Some of the guys he trains with really messed him up."

"So tell Boggs."

"I did, but he says without proof that they did it they won't be punished."

Gale huffs, "Well, that doesn't seem right."

"I know. Maybe I should just hunt them down and beat them up."

"Yah, that's the thing to do," Gale says sarcastically. "Then you'll get punished, and won't get to fight the capitol. You know President Coin already has a chip on her shoulder against you since you won't just obey her every command."

"But we have to do something. We can't just let them get away with it."

"Well, surely we can get them without getting in trouble."

"Like how?"

"I don't know. Let me think." We both sit and ponder the situation. Gale begins to mumble, "What if we…Maybe we could…I got it!"

"What?"

"Tray, my commander, said something about all trainees playing paintball tonight."

"Yeah, how is that going to help us?"

"Well, you know what it feels like to get hit by a paintball close up."

"Yeah, I had bruises for a week the last time I played."

"If we know who to get we could really hit them hard. Then it would just look like we played a fierce game."

"I get it," I smile and begin to slowly nod my head. "We just have to know who to hit."

"But do you know who these guys are?"

"No, but Cheth does."

"Who's Cheth?"

"He's the kid on Peeta's team that went and got help."

"Good, get him to mark them somehow."

"How?"

"Maybe he can 'accidentally' shoot them with their own color. Then when we see someone shot with the wrong color we will know whom to hit. Even if we are on the same team I could still get them a few times."

Gale and I shoot a few rabbits then head back. When we drop off our bags all the ladies in the kitchen want to know where Peeta is. I tell them what happened and they all are very upset. I tell them that I am going to check on Peeta so they send some rolls with me.

When I get to Peeta's room at the hospital, I find Cheth there. He and Peeta are talking. I knock a little and then walk in. Peeta smiles at me and waves me over.

"How are you feeling?" I say as I walk over to his bed.

"Better I think."

Each breath is still shallow but he doesn't have the oxygen mask anymore. And the fact that he is sitting up and talking some with Cheth is a good sign.

"Here you can have my seat. I better get going. I have class soon." Cheth stands to leave. "I hope you get better soon, Peeta. Maybe I'll stop by again tomorrow."

"Sounds good." Peeta smiles and pats Cheth's arm as he walks past.

Suddenly I decide this would be a good time to talk to Cheth. "I'll be right back, Peeta," I say as I dash out the door. "Cheth, wait a second. I need to talk to you."

Cheth turns around and looks at me questioningly. "I need you to help me get back at the guys that beat up Peeta."

"I don't think I can," he replies a little learily.

"You don't have to do much." I quickly explain the plan to him. "All you have to do is somehow let me know who I should aim for."

"How am I supposed to do that without them knowing?"

"Just pretend to accidentally shoot them. Then when we see them we will know who to shoot."

"I guess that could work."

"If you can't, find some other way to mark them."

"I'll try."

"Good, let me know for sure how they are marked. See you tonight."

Cheth walks down the hall and I go back into Peeta's room. I find Peeta sleeping, but I sit on the edge of his bed for a while to see if he will wake up. I don't want to leave without saying "Goodbye" first.

As I reach up to brush the hair from his face, a nurse walks in. "He'll probably sleep for a while. Talking to people takes a lot out of him."

I nod. "Can you tell him I'll be back later?"

"Sure, Miss Everdeen."

I squeeze his hand and lightly kiss him on the cheek as I leave.

I meet up with everyone at lunch. They all want to know where Peeta is as he was not in the kitchen and did not come to lunch with us. When I tell them what happened everyone is shocked.

"What are they going to do about it?" asks Prim.

"There's nothing they can do without proof of who did it, and no one is going to admit to it." Everyone is pretty quiet for the rest of the meal.

Once mom and Prim leave to go back to the hospital I tell Johanna and Finnick our plan. They both want in. "Good, I'll tell you how to know who they are when Cheth let's me know."

After lunch I get corralled into the kitchen to help with the dishes. All the ladies are worried about Peeta. I tell them how he does not need the oxygen anymore. They want to know if he ate the bread. I just tell them that he was asleep when I brought it to him.

When I leave the kitchen, I try to visit Peeta again, but the nurse tells I can't go in because the doctors are in there checking his wounds. It is getting late so I decide to just wait till after training.

We are all starting right after supper because they want us inside before it gets dark. We all must check in with our commander and get all our equipment. There are two teams: green and yellow. We are each given a gray suit, an armband to show our team color, and finally we are issued a paint gun. We all meet with our teams and go over the rules, where we are told at the end of the game the commanders will count up how many times we each have been hit, and the team that hits the other team the most will win.

Our plan should work out perfectly because both Gale and Finnick's groups are on the yellow team with me.

We are told we have five minutes to spread out and when we hear the bullhorn then the game will begin.

As I am walking away to hide, I catch sight of Cheth. He is with his teammates and does exactly as we planned. He acts like he is practicing to use the scope in his gun and "accidentally" pulls the trigger. I hear several of his group either laugh or start yelling at him. I look to see that he has hit four guys. The biggest guy who I assume is Sythe goes up and knocks Cheth down before one of the commanders can say anything. The commander shakes his head and points for them to hide.

When Cheth gets up and looks over to see me watching, I give him a thumbs up. He gives me a thumbs up back, and then I hurry to find the rest of my group and tell them whom to shoot. Several of my other teammates heard about Peeta and want to join in.

As soon as the bullhorn sounds I begin to look for the bullies. I shoot a few other green people as I go. All of my hunting experience pays off, as I am able to move through the bushes without being heard.

After a half hour I finally spot my first victim. It is Sythe. He is standing out in an open area as if almost daring someone to find him. I hide behind a tree and take careful aim. I shoot several times and hit him in the arm and chest. He glares in my direction but before he has a chance to come look for me, Gale shoots him on the other side. Sythe immediately runs for cover in the bushes. I make eye contact with Gale before I slink off into the woods to find my next victim.

The game goes smoothly. I was able to hit all of the bullies several times, but I don't think they knew it was me.

The bullhorn signals that the game is over and we are to head back to our team meeting spot so the hits can be counted. I walk past the green team and see Sythe and his friends are so covered with paint you can hardly tell how many times they were hit.

After I am counted, I stand with the rest of my team. I glance over to see Sythe stripping out of his suit. His arms are covered with welts that are starting to bruise already. Soon the rest of his guys join him and they too are covered with welts.

"I think our plan was a success," I say to Gale, Finnick, and Johanna as I point out Sythe and his group.

"That was the best training session ever," says Johanna as she shows Finnick a big welt she has on her arm. "I like it when I have permission to beat up on someone."

"I just hope I am never on the opposite team as you. I saw how merciless you were," Finnick says as he unzips his suit. Johanna sneers and steps out of her suit as well.

"See you guys later. I need to go see Peeta," I say as I head over to turn in all my equipment.

"See ya," I hear from the three.

As I pass the kitchen Greasy Sae hollers my name. I look in. "What do you want? I'm heading up to see Peeta."

"Perfect! Take this soup that I made. Peeta told me it's his favorite. You can return the bowl in the morning."

"Sure," I nod as she hands me the covered bowl.

When I walk into Peeta's room, a nurse is hooking him up to a machine that will check his vitals, and Haymitch is slumped over taking a nap in the corner.

"Katniss, where did you go after you talked with Cheth?"

"Sorry I didn't stay, but when I came back in you were asleep. I figured you needed the sleep to heal." I walk over to the bed. "To make up for it I brought you something from the kitchen." I open the bowl and steam wafts into the air. I hear Peeta's stomach gurgle.

"Smells good but I will have to wait until she unhooks the machine from my arm. I can't use my other arm because of my ribs."

"Here, I'll feed you until the nurse is done."

I sit on the edge of the bed as I spoon the soup for Peeta. After a few bites I laugh a bit and Peeta raises an eyebrow. "It reminds me of our first games when I had to force you to eat."

Peeta nods, "But this soup is much better then the dried fruit."

"The situation is a lot better too. I'm not the one caring for your wounds."

Peeta smiles, "I remember how green you turned when you looked at my leg after it was washed off."

"Don't remind me," I grimace as I stick out my tongue.

By now the nurse is finished and unhooks Peeta's arm. We continue to talk about the games and I continue to feed Peeta the soup.

"You don't have to keep feeding me. I can use my arm now," Peeta holds up his arm and laughs a bit. "But you're more than welcome to continue if you like." I can feel the blush in my checks as I smile sheepishly at Peeta and hand him the soup and spoon.

When he is finished he sets the dishes on the tray next to the bed and slowly leans back to rest only wincing a little.

"Thanks for the soup. It is much better than the stuff they serve here."

"You can thank Greasy Sae when you get out. She's the one that sent it with me. Oh, here, I almost forgot." I stand and pull the rolls out of my pocket.

Peeta looks at the lump in my hand. "What is it?"

"They're rolls the kitchen ladies sent you this morning but they have been in my pocket all day."

Peeta takes the bag and opens it. Then he pulls a piece off the lump and sticks it in his mouth. "Still good I think. Just a little crumbly."

"I'll make sure they know you got it, but I'm not going to mention the crumbly part." I say lightly hitting him on his arm.

"What's that yellow stuff in your hair?" Peeta leans forward a bit and reaches for the hair just above my ear. Our hands touch as I reach up too. We both pull away quickly.

"Oh, it must be from training. We all played paint ball."

"I wish I could have been there. Who won?"

"My team by a land slide."

All of a sudden Peeta's eyes get very large as he stares past me. I see his hand next to my leg begin to tremble. "What is that?" I turn to see the nurse with a syringe in her hand.

"It's morphling, Mr. Mellark. It will help the pain."

"I…I…I don't want any. I'm not in any pain."

I look at Peeta and can see the fear growing in his eyes. "Peeta, it's okay," I place my hand on his. "They gave me morphling when I was hurt. It really does help with the pain."

Peeta doesn't take his eyes off the nurse. He begins to shake his head. "I don't need any, Katniss. I'm... I'm fine."

"I really need to give you this, Mr. Mellark. Doctor's orders." The nurse takes a few steps closer.

"No!" Peeta yells.

This makes me stand up and the nurse stop dead in her tracks. "How…how do I know it's not tracker venom?" Peeta continues. I can see the panic more and more in his eyes.

"Peeta, it's not venom. They're not going to hurt you." I try to touch his hand but he jerks it away.

"How do you know?" he asks looking up at me with a tinge of anger and distrust. "You didn't see what they put in there."

"Please, Mr. Mellark, it will only take a second. I promise it won't hurt," the nurse nervously insists as she cautiously takes a step closer.

"I DON'T WANT IT!" Peeta yells making the nurse back into the corner.

Haymitch jerks awake in his chair. "What's all the noise for?"

"Peeta thinks the nurse is trying to inject him with tracker venom." I look at Haymitch with helpless eyes.

"Calm down, lover boy," Haymitch says as he crosses his arms.

Peeta closes his eyes to try to regain his composure. When he opens them he looks at me. "Katniss, I…I want to leave. I want to go back to my room." Peeta clenches his teeth as he slowly lowers his legs off the bed. I can see the intense pain in his eyes.

"Peeta, why don't you lay back down?" Haymitch says as he stands up from his chair.

"No…I want…to leave," Peeta manages through clenched teeth as he slowly stands with one hand gripping the bed and the other holding his ribs. He takes a few unsteady steps away from the bed. "Katniss, please," he says softly. His eyes are begging me to come with him as he holds out a very shaky hand.

I shake my head slowly as I bite my lower lip. "Peeta, they're not going to let you leave," I answer in a quiet voice.

He closes his eyes as he takes a few more shaky steps still holding his side. He opens his eyes and stares at me as if being betrayed. "If you aren't coming…I'll go myself."

"Wait, Peeta," Haymitch says as he puts his hand on Peeta's shoulder. "Let me talk to Katniss before you leave." Peeta nods his head a bit and looks with pained eyes up at Haymitch.

Haymitch takes my arm and pulls me out in the hall and closes the door. We both glance in at the nurse standing in the corner with the syringe looking at Peeta who is bent over holding his side. "Katniss, you need to convince him to lay back down," Haymitch says a little harshly.

"I'm trying, but he clearly is not listening to me."

Suddenly we hear a crash. Both of us run back into the room to find Peeta on his knees with his head down holding his ribs with both arms. The tray next to the bed has been knocked over and the bowl is upside down on the floor. The nurse is just staring with wide eyes.

"Peeta!" I fall to the floor next to him. I can see tears squeezing out from his tightly closed eyes. "Peeta, what's wrong?"

"Can't…breathe," he manages to whisper.

"His rib is broken. It's probably pushing against his lung," Haymitch says. "We need to lay him back down."

"I'll go get the doctors," the nurse quickly says as she rushes out of the room.

"Help me get him up," Haymitch tells me as he kneels down on Peeta's other side. "We are going to lift you, Peeta." Peeta nods his head just a little as Haymitch pulls Peeta's arm over his shoulder. "Let's do it." I use all my strength as we left him off the floor but almost let go when Peeta yells in pain. We carefully set him on the bed and Haymitch guides him to lie back down as I lift his feet. Then Haymitch rights the tray and picks up the bowl. I sit on the edge of the bed and run my fingers down the side of Peeta's face. He slowly opens his eyes and looks at me as he takes a few ragged breaths.

Just then the doctors come in followed by the nurse. "What happened?" one demands.

"Peeta is afraid of the syringe. He thought it was tracker venom like what the capitol gave him."

"Mr. Mellark, we need to give you this shot."

Peeta closes his eyes and shakes his head as a tear slides down his cheek. "I don't want it," he says in a shaky voice turning his head away from the doctors. They look at me.

"Just give him a minute. Let me talk to him." The doctor backs up a bit as I wipe Peeta's cheek. "Peeta, you really need this shot."

He looks into my eyes and pleadingly shakes his head. "Please, no. You don't know what it felt like." A few more tears slide down his cheeks.

"Do you trust me?" I ask as I gently wipe them away. He slowly nods. "Then you're going to have to trust me about the shot. Just focus on me." I look at the doctor and nod my head. I see him motion to the nurse. Peeta looks at me until his eyes dart over to the nurse who is coming closer. "Peeta, look at me." I lean over and put my hands around his eyes like blinders and stare into his blue eyes. He reaches up with shaky hands and holds onto my wrists.

I can tell he is trying, but his fear gets the better of him every time he hears the nurse move. I lean a little closer and softly begin to sing the valley song. This keeps his focus and he slowly begins to relax slightly and closes his eyes. I can feel his hold loosening around my wrists.

I glace sideways to see the nurse standing right next to me. I nod to let her know she can give him the shot. She slowly pushes the needle in his arm. Peeta's eyes fly open and he tightens his grip on my wrists instantly. Before he can jerk away like I'm afraid he might, I quickly lean down and kiss his lips gently as I see the nurse push down on the syringe.

When she pulls the needle out I pull away slowly. "See, I told you it would be okay," I say softly as I smile at Peeta. His eyes almost instantly begin to glaze over as the morphling quickly spreads through his body. His hands drop from my wrists and slowly fall to his side. I sit up and gently stroke his cheek. "It's okay. You can go to sleep." I slowly begin to stand up as his eyes begin to bob shut.

Peeta forces his eyes open and reaches unsuccessfully for my arm. He uses one leg to push against the bed as he slowly scoots his body over. Then he sleepily pats the space he made on the bed. "Please don't go," he whispers as he fights to stay awake. I nod and carefully climb onto the bed.

"She can't stay with him. It's against hospital rules," I hear a doctor protest as I slowly begin to lower myself in the crook of Peeta's arm and lay my head on his shoulder.

As I gently rest my hand on his chest I hear Haymitch say to the doctor, "Let her stay. The poor boy needs some comfort with all he's gone through."

I feel Peeta's arm come to rest on my waist. His other hand moves from his ribs to entwine his fingers with mine. I look up to see his eyes finally close and his head fall to the side. I carefully rest my head back on his shoulder and listen to his soft heartbeat.


	26. Chapter 26

When I wake up in the morning, I carefully climb off the bed trying to not wake up Peeta. He opens sleepy eyes. "Please stay, Katniss," he whispers.

I run my hand gently down the side of his face. "Go back to sleep. I'll come back after hunting. Maybe I will bring some bread that is not crumbled," I whisper back.

Peeta smiles and then yawns. I kiss his forehead lightly as he closes his eyes.

I wave to Prim as I walk past the room she is in. She is reading a story to a little girl with a broken arm.

After hunting, I head down the hall to the kitchen to drop off my bag. As I turn the corner, I notice someone crouched in the doorway of a room. When I get closer I recognize the person.

"Cheth, what are you doing?" I ask as I look to make sure it is really him.

"Nothing. Just thinking." He glances up at me briefly and then looks back at the floor.

"Is everything okay?" I sit down and lean against the doorframe.

"Fine," Cheth answers weakly as he turns his face more to the corner.

"You don't sound okay." I pull my legs up to my chest and just sit in silence for a while looking at Cheth. "Did something happen?" I ask quietly and reach out to rest my hand on his shoulder. He pulls away slightly and shakes his head. "Cheth, I want to help you."

He just barely turns his face to look at me. "You can't help me. Okay."

"Do you need someone to talk to? Peeta's a good listener, if you don't want to talk to a girl."

"Peeta can't help me either. No one can."

"But…"

"Just leave me alone, Katniss," he snaps slightly as he turns to face me.

I gasp as I see his eye is black and blue and practically swollen shut. "Who did that?" I demand, but the answer snaps in my head as soon as the words leave my mouth. "Sythe."

"Somehow he figured out I had something to do with the paintball battle. But you can't tell anyone. It will only make it worse."

"We have to report him. This has to stop."

"No, it will only make him madder. Then he'll just beat me up again."

"Well, we'll have you switched to a new team."

"It won't do any good. He'll still beat me up. Please, Katniss, just let it go," he looks at me with pleading eyes.

"Fine," I huff, "I won't say anything this time, but if it happens again, I will tell." He nods and looks back at the floor.

As I start to stand, I notice the hand he has cradled in his lap looks strange. His wrist is bent at a very strange angle. "What's wrong with your wrist?" He slowly looks up at me. I cross my arms to show I want the truth, but still watch him with gentle eyes.

Cheth is silent for a long while but finally speaks softly, "After Sythe punched me, I tried to hit him back but he just grabbed my hand and twisted it."

"It doesn't look right. I think you need to go to the hospital and get it checked out."

He shakes his head already looking away. "I'll…I'll be okay."

I reach out my hand but as soon as I barely touch it, he winces in pain and immediately pulls away. "I'm pretty sure it's broken. I'm taking you to the doctor." I stand and reach my hand down to help him up. Cheth doesn't move. "I will force you if I have to. I half drugged Peeta in our first games. I'm sure I could carry you if I had to."

Cheth looks up weakly and begins to get up trying to move his injured arm as little as possible. "But you have to promise not to tell what happened."

I cock my head and look at him with an annoyed expression. "Why don't you want anyone to know? They won't let Sythe hurt you."

"Because he's my stepbrother, okay. There you know. Are you happy now?" Cheth blurts out as he storms past me still cradling his hurt arm.

"Wait! What!" I shake my head then run to catch up. I grab his shoulder to stop him. "Did you just say Sythe is your brother?"

"Stepbrother, yes. He…he…even though he hates me, he's the only family I have." My expression immediately softens as I look down at Cheth's dejected form. I put both hands on his shoulders but still can't find the words to say. Finally Cheth quietly continues, "Our parents married a few years ago. They both died when Sythe's dad tried to go back for my mom when we were being evacuated from our district."

Cheth turns to continue walking down the hall. I walk beside him in silence. After a while I quietly say, "I won't tell anyone what happened." Cheth doesn't say a word but glances sideways at me as we continue walking.

As we pass the kitchen, I call to Greasy Sae and set my bag in the corner.

When we get to the hospital floor I tell Cheth to wait for me. I go to the admissions desk to check him in. Lucky for me Prim is at the desk and I quickly explain the situation, well what she needs to know anyway.

She looks over at Cheth sitting in the chair with his hand resting on his leg. "That looks painful," she says, as she picks up the phone to call one of the doctors, then she ushers Cheth and I into one of the rooms. "The doctor should be here in a bit."

"Thanks, Prim." I say as she closes the door.

Cheth and I don't really speak as we wait. In fact, it is very awkward. I want to leave but I'm afraid that Cheth will leave too and not get his wrist taken care of. "Thanks again for helping Peeta," I finally say to try to break the silence.

"You're welcome. Peeta's cool. I really like him," Cheth replies without taking his eyes off the floor.

To my relief the doctor comes in. "So what can I help you with?" He looks at me and then at Cheth.

"He hurt his wrist. I think it might be broken."

The doctor pulls a chair up next to Cheth. "Let me see, young man." Cheth tentatively lifts his arm toward the doctor. The doctor holds onto Cheth's hand to steady it and then gently feels his wrist. Cheth winces a few times but does not move. "Well, it is definitely broken, son. I'm going to send in the nurse to get it cast."

By the time his wrist is cast and he has been given pills to help with the pain it is almost 3:00pm. Cheth says he is going back to his room for rest.

"Sythe won't bother you, will he?"

"No, I usually don't see him except at training unless he is looking for me."

"But don't you share a room since your 'family'?"

"We did at first but now Sythe lives with his girlfriend."

I nod as he turns to head to the elevator. I walk down the hall toward Peeta's room. I figure I should check in to see how he is doing. I knock lightly and when I don't hear an answer, I open the door quietly. Sure enough I find him sleeping.

I sit in the chair in the corner of the room and watch him sleep for a while as I try to decide if I should wake him up. His still body begins to stir but he does not open his eyes. He starts to mumble in his sleep. "No…no…no more videos." I am almost sure his dream is about the capitol.

As his body starts to thrash a bit more, I soon become afraid that he will injure himself more if he keeps this up, plus by now I can tell his dream has become a full blown nightmare.

I jump out of the chair and hurry to Peeta's side. I take hold of his shoulders and shake him a bit. "Peeta, wake up. You're just dreaming."

After more shaking and calling to him, he finally comes out of the dream. His eyes open wide, and I see his unmistakably large pupils. "Peeta, it's me Katniss."

"Katniss?" he whispers as he looks into my gray eyes. I feel his body become tense as his messed up brain tries to register who I am. His eyes turn fearful as he tries to push himself away without taking his eyes off me.

"Peeta, it's okay," I say calmly as I reach for his arm.

He quickly jerks it away and tries to pull his legs up to his chest but stops as he winces in pain from his ribs. "Where am I?" he mutters as his eyes drift around the stark white room.

"You're in the hospital. Remember, Sythe and his buddies beat you up."

Peeta looks down at the bed and scrunches up his face as he thinks. He slowly begins to shake his head. "No…no, this is not a hospital. I remember everything." He pulls his arms tightly around his chest and begins to rock. "This is the capitol and I was captured after the quell." His eyes get large again with realization as he slowly looks back at me. His whole body shivers. "You aren't Katniss. You're a mutt."

I take a step back and shake my head. "No, remember you are in district 13. You were rescued from the capitol with Johanna and Annie. You've been helping in the kitchen." I stare into his eyes to see if anything is registering.

Peeta closes his eyes and shakes his head. "No…no! You're lying. You're trying to trick me." His eyes dart around the room. "Where are the doctors? They sent you to confuse me. Get out." He flings his arm at me as if I will disappear like a mist or dream. "Get out of here! I hate you!" He closes his eyes and leans back in bed. He covers his face with his hands as his body shakes uncontrollably. Machines begin to beep loudly.

My eyes begin to cloud over with tears.

As doctors come rushing in, I suddenly bolt out the door and down the hall. I don't even stop when I hear Prim calling my name. I bump into many people, but don't stop until I have made it to my hiding place in the supply closet.

I slide down the wall to the ground as the tears continue to streak down my cheeks. My whole body shakes with my sobs until I am so exhausted that I slump to the floor and lay there.

I close my eyes and must have fallen asleep because when I get up and crawl out of the closet I look at the clock on the wall it is 7:00. I have missed supper but that is okay because I am not hungry and don't feel like being around people anyway.

I walk out into the hall and head back to my room. Luckily most people are still finishing up supper so I don't see anyone in the halls. I decide to skip training and will just have to come up with a good excuse later.

When I get to my room I take a hot shower and then crawl under the covers and curl up in a fetal position. I just stare at the wall. My mind keeps replaying Peeta screaming "I hate you!" over and over.

After a long time, I hear the door open as Prim walks in. When she sees me she comes to sit on my bed. She places her hand on my shoulder. "Katniss, what happened? I saw you run from the hospital and then we didn't see you at supper."

"Peeta started yelling at me and said he hates me." I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

Prim started to rub my back slowly as she waited for me to continue, but I couldn't. "You know he didn't mean it."

"But he did. You should have seen his face," I manage to get out between sobs.

"Katniss, you know he is in a lot of pain and his body is filled with morphling. It's probably just reacting with the traces of venom still in his system causing him to have an episode. I'm sure he'll forget about it by tomorrow."

"But what if he doesn't? What if it's permanent."

"Katniss, just go to sleep. You've been staying up too late and are exhausted. You'll think clearly after a good nights rest." I close my eyes and try to relax as Prim continues to rub my back and hums a song.

When I finally drift off to sleep it is not very restful. I am immediately thrown into a nightmare.

I am walking down a white hall much like the hospital, but when I stop to look in an open door I see Peeta with bruises covering his body as he cowers in the corner. I rush in to help him but when he sees me his eyes grow large. "Get away!" he screams.

As I stand to back away I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror that I don't think was there just a few seconds ago. Instead of seeing myself I see a creature that is much like the wolves from our first game but I have more human features. I put my hands to my face in disbelief.

Suddenly my attention is drawn back to Peeta when I hear him moving around. I look at him just in time to see him lunge at me with a knife that he seems to have pulled out of nowhere. Lucky for me he is weak so I am able to easily dodge him.

I run out the door and down the hall calling for a doctor or nurse. I can hear thudding coming from behind me. When I turn I see Peeta stumbling down the hall toward me still holding the knife in his hand. I keep turning corners and running farther but every time I turn around I see Peeta coming behind me. I finally duck into a dark room and close the door. I slump to the floor as I can feel my heart racing. I freeze and try to listen for any noise but all I can hear is my own heartbeat. I look up at the door as I hear the handle turning. I suck in a breath and wait for the door to open. Just as the door opens and I see Peeta with wild eyes staring down at me, I am jolted awake.

I lay in my bed trying to calm my racing heart. I know I will not be sleeping any more so I quietly slip out of bed and over to the door. I walk out into the hall and head down to Peeta's room.

When I open the door the familiar sights of the bed greet me where Peeta would hold me tight to keep away the nightmares, the paintings that he had painted of so many fond memories, and the easel that still held a painting.

I walk over to the easel to look at the painting. It is of Peeta and I sitting on the beach during the quell when he placed the pearl in my hand. I sit in the chair and stare at the painting as I can feel a tear slide down my cheek. What if Peeta never looks at me that way again.

After a long while I crawl into bed and hug the pillow that Peeta always used. It still has his smell. I slowly fall asleep with the pain of loneliness slowly creeping inside of me.


	27. Chapter 27

I have not been to visit Peeta in almost a week. I meant to many times and even headed to the hospital. But every time I get in the elevator and push the button for that floor my mind always replays Peeta screaming for me to get out and that he hated me. I then quickly push a button for another floor.

I keep busy doing other things. My morning is spent hunting as usual. I try to focus on finding the more elusive animals. I also practice setting snares, which Boggs says must be taken down since this same area is also used for outdoor training sometimes. Though occasionally I leave one of the rope ones on purpose. I laugh to myself as I can picture someone getting caught and dangling from a tree by his or her ankle. I hope I am around to see it.

To drop off my bag I either just toss it right inside the door or I get Gale to take it when he takes his. This way I can avoid having to visit with Greasy Sae or the other ladies in the kitchen. I know they will ask about Peeta, and I do not know how to explain why I have not been to see him.

At lunch I eat with my group and I can usually skirt around the issue by talking about other subjects or just say he was sleeping.

After lunch I have started to go with Gale down to work with Beetee. He always has some weapon that I try out. I figured it would be good to have a wide variety of weapons in my repertoire.

I have tried out many types of guns both big and small. There are many to choose from with all sorts of special bullets. Some have tear gas and others have smoke to build cover. Still others use electrical shock to just stun instead of kill. I think those will be handy for capitol citizens. Some of the big guns can shoot nets or grappling hooks.

I also try knives with many different blades. Gale and I spar with each other to get practice in hand-to-hand combat.

Late afternoons are spent swimming with Finnick. He is beginning to teach me different strokes and dives. I enjoy swimming a lot until Finnick brings up Peeta, then I quickly find a reason to leave.

After supper is training of course. We are learning to use holos, which will be important in finding pods in the capitol. We are also studying maps of the capitol and are being sent into hologram simulators. It is strange and scary to relive memories that are brought on by these practice drills. I recognize the street that we traveled during the parade into the arena but it is very different without all the yelling mobs.

As I leave training tonight I head back to my room to take a shower. All of a sudden I have this feeling that I am being followed. My mind thinks of how Sythe beat up Cheth for helping get revenge on him. I keep walking but feel my hands ball up into fists. I have fought bigger bullies than him in the games. I pick up my pace as I try to listen to see if I can tell if it is just one person or more. By the end of the next hall, I am pretty sure it is only one person, but I can tell they are catching up with me. I decide it would be better to be the first to attack so as I turn the corner I come to a complete stop. I get ready to right hook whoever comes around the corner so as soon as I see a nose, I jab. The familiar slew of curses that follow makes me jump. I quickly look around the corner to find Haymitch bending over holding his nose.

"Sweetheart, you better have a good reason for punching me in the nose," he snarls.

"Well, you better have a good reason for following me and giving me a heart attack. Why didn't you say anything?"

"I don't know. I'm a man of few words."

"Ha, since when?" Haymitch shrugged and wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve. "Why were you following me anyways?"

"I was coming to get you. I was told to bring you to Peeta's room."

"Why?"

"The doctors say you haven't been by to see him and he's been waiting for you."

"Are you sure he doesn't want to try to strangle me?"

Haymitch raises an eyebrow and gives me a strange look. "Why would lover boy want to do that? I thought you two were both getting along quite well lately."

I huff out a breath and look down at the floor. "Last time I was visiting Peeta, he told me to leave and that he hated me." I glance back up at Haymitch.

"And…" he says, shrugging his shoulders.

"And I really don't feel like being choked again." I open my eyes wide, as if that is enough of an explanation.

Haymitch throws his hands in the air. "I know I said way worse things than that, and it never made you leave me alone."

"You're not Peeta."

"Listen, sweetheart. All I know is the doctor told me to bring you to come see Peeta. We can either do it the easy way or I can drag you kicking and screaming, and let's face it, neither of us wants to do it that way."

"Fine. Lead the way," I breathe out as I roll my eyes and slump my shoulders.

We walk in silence all the way to the hospital. I follow Haymitch past the admissions desk and down the hall to Peeta's room.

As we get closer, we can hear Peeta yelling, "I don't want any morphling! Just leave me alone!"

Haymitch doesn't knock but just barges right in and I follow a few steps behind. When we enter we see two doctors and a nurse standing around Peeta's bed. Peeta is on his side facing away from them. Haymitch clears his throat, which gets the doctors and nurse to turn around. "What seems to be the trouble? He clearly does not want the morphling."

"But he needs it for the pain."

"Peeta, are you in pain?" Haymitch barks out. Peeta turns to look at Haymitch with obvious pained eyes but shakes his head "no" slightly. Haymitch crosses his arms and looks at the doctors and nurse.

"He hasn't allowed us to give him morphling nor has he eaten in three days. He's never going to get better at this rate."

"Sweetheart here will talk some sense into him. We'll let you know when we need you." Haymitch smiles curtly and then motions with his arm to the door. One doctor rolls his eyes but they all shuffle out of the room and close the door. "Now, I'm going to leave for a while and try to find some decent coffee since I will never find any good alcohol. You two hash out what ever you need to." And with that Haymitch leaves.

By now Peeta has turned away and I am left standing in the room just staring at him. "They said you wanted to see me?"

"Yeah, five days ago," Peeta mumbles under his breath.

"I'm sorry, but I really didn't feel like getting yelled at," I raise my voice in defense.

"What are you talking about?" Peeta rolls over with his eyes closed obviously fighting pain and then opens his eyes to look at me.

"Last time I was here, you told me you hated me."

"I don't remember that."

"Trust me. You did."

Peeta stares at me as if trying to remember but then slowly shakes his head. I can hear the hurt in his voice, "That still doesn't make it right for you to leave me. I must have been having an episode." Peeta groans a bit when he turns over to look at the ceiling. "You always promise to be there for me, but when I really need you, you don't come."

I am about to make a snide remark but then I see a single tear fall from the corner of his eye. "Just go. I'll be fine," he mutters as he wipes the tear away.

"How will you be fine when you aren't taking any morphling? You have a cracked rib."

He grips his hand in a fist and squeezes his eyes tight when he groans out, "I said I'm fine. Besides a cracked rib hurts way less than a broken heart."

I look away because I don't know what to say to that.

Neither of us say anything for a long time. Finally I stand and walk over to Peeta's bed. He is curled up on his side with his eyes still tightly closed. "Peeta," I say quietly as I lay my hand on his shoulder. I feel a slight tremble. "I'm sorry I didn't come to visit."

Peeta still lies there with his eyes closed but the trembling seems to be getting worse. I realize he is holding onto his wrist as if trying to stop the shaking.

"Peeta, look at me." I reach over and use my hand to gently turn his face to me. He slowly opens his blue eyes to look at me. They are filled with pain, sadness, and fear, but a different fear than when he had his episode. The trembling seems to be intensifying and I see a look of pleading in his eyes. I grab his hand to try to stop the shaking but it does no good.

I try to let go so I can go get help, but Peeta holds on as if I am his lifeline. "Don't leave me," he manages to breathe out though clenched teeth.

Even though I want to let go so I can find help, I know I need to stay so I just start calling for help. "Help, we need a doctor in here!" "Prim, I need you!" "Haymitch!" My calls for help become more frantic as Peeta's eyes begin to roll back into his head and I feel his grip on my hand loosening. His body continues to convulse.

Finally after what seems like an eternity and I feel like I am losing my voice, a doctor comes rushing in followed by another doctor. "What happened?"

"I…I don't know. His body started shaking and now I think he's losing consciousness." I move back a bit but don't let go of his hand as the doctors roll Peeta to his back.

One doctor feels for his pulse as the other shines a light as he opens each of Peeta's eyelids. "We need assistance in room 106," the first doctor calls into his communicator cuff.

Within seconds a doctor and two nurses come rushing in. I feel Peeta's hand leave mine as I am gently nudged out of the way. I just stand there until I hear, "We'll take care of him, Miss Everdeen," a nurse assures me as she guides me over to the chair in the corner of the room. I sit there without moving as a blur of activity flashes before my eyes. I think I almost zone out until I feel someone shake my shoulder.

"Katniss, what happened?" I hear Haymitch's alarmed voice at my side.

"I don't know," I shake my head slowly as we both just watch the doctors and nurses.

A doctor finally comes over and glances between the two of us. "Peeta's body was reacting to severe pain and lack of food. We think we have him stabilized but we had to lightly sedate him. He should awaken within the hour. If you need anything just go down to the desk."

The doctor talking to us is the last one to leave the room. After I watch him leave, I turn to look at Peeta. Both arms have IV's stuck in them and his chest is covered with little sticky disks wired to a machine that I assume monitors his body readings. His skin is a bit pale but at least he is not shaking anymore.

I stand up and unsteadily walk over to his side. I pick up his limp hand and hold it to my heart. "I'm here, Peeta. I won't leave this time." I reach up to push the damp hair back from his face. Then I simply watch the rise and fall of his chest.

"Here, sit down." I turn to see that Haymitch has pulled the chair from the corner over to the side of the bed.

"Thanks," I smile weakly and I sit down and lean my head against Peeta's thigh.

Haymitch stands and looks down at Peeta. "Poor kid. He just doesn't seem to get any breaks."

Just then a slight knock at the door gets both of our attention. A man I don't recognize is standing there. "President Coins wishes to talk to you," he says looking at Haymitch.

"Tell her I'll be right there." The man nods and then walks back down the hall. "Take care of him," Haymitch says to me quietly. I just continue to rest my head as I stare at Haymitch. He glances at Peeta one more time and then walks out into the hall.

I look up at the clock and see that it is 11:30. It must have been important if Coin wanted to see Haymitch this late, but my thoughts quickly turn back to Peeta. I hear the nurse shuffle in as she sets some pudding and applesauce on the tray stand. "See if you can get him to eat when he wakes up," she says as she looks at the monitor and scribbles down some stuff on Peeta's chart. Then she walks back out of the room as quickly as she had come in.

My eyes begin to close until I feel Peeta move around a bit. I look up to see his eyes wide open in alarm as he takes in his body covered with disks and the IV's.

I sit up and place my hand reassuringly on his. "It's okay, Peeta. You're fine," I respond as I begin to rub his hand. I am hoping he is not having another episode.

After looking around the room a bit more his eyes come to rest on me. "Katniss, what was wrong with me?" he says with muddled speech.

I am relieved to know that he remembers some of what happened earlier. "Your shaking was partly from your being in so much pain and partly because you weren't eating. The doctors gave you IV's for both morphling and nourishment then hooked you to a monitor to make sure you are okay. Do you feel better?"

"A little. But are you sure the morphling is not really tracker venom?"

"I'm pretty sure." I think for a bit and then ask, "Why do you still think it might be venom?"

Peeta looks thoughtful and maybe a little confused when he answers, "Well, last time I remember getting the morphling you said I had an episode which was originally caused by the venom, right?" I nod. Peeta looks down at my hand still on top of his. "Well, I really don't want that to happen again because you might leave me again." He looks up with sadness. I try to smile to reassure him that I will not leave but it is hard because I feel a prick of pain at the mention of my abandoning him.

"Are you hungry? The nurse left some pudding or applesauce." I ask out of the blue to try to change the subject.

Peeta has to think a bit before he answers, "Pudding would be nice, I guess."

I stand walk over to get the pudding and spoon. When I return to his side, Peeta tries to reach for them, but twitches at the pain when he moves his arms. "I don't like IV's," he mumbles as he looks down at his arms where the needles are poked in his skin.

I smile a bit at Peeta's groggy expression. "Here, I can do it, so you don't have to move." I sit on the edge of the bed and open the container and spoon out the smooth chocolate.

"Yum, I don't think anything ever tasted this good," Peeta says after the first bite.

"It's only because you haven't eaten in so long. I remember feeling the same way when eating that capitol food Haymitch sent us in the first game. I thought it was the best meal I had ever had."

"I remember that too. We had to pace ourselves to not just gobble it all down." We both look at each other and smile as I spoon up another bite.

When the pudding is gone, we talk a bit, but I can tell Peeta is very tired since every time there is much of a lull in conversation, he starts to nod off. "Why don't you get some rest?"

Peeta's face becomes very serious. "I'm afraid you won't be here when I wake up."

I shake my head a little at the thought. "What are you going to do, never go to sleep?"

Peeta shrugs his shoulders. "Maybe, if that will keep you from leaving."

I reach in and give him a kiss and he leans into me. After a bit, I pull away slightly. My gray eyes are only inches away from his cloudy blue ones. "I promise I will still be here when you wake up." "Okay," Peeta whispers as he reaches in for another kiss and then leans back.

Before he closes his eyes he takes my hand gently but firmly in his. With eyes closed he squeezes it once as he mumbles, "Remember you promised." Then his hand slowly lets go as his body succumbs to the morphling he is being given.

I carefully scoot off the bed and sit down in the chair. Even though I have no morphling running through my body it does not take long before I am asleep also. It has been a very late night.


	28. Chapter 28

It has been a week and things are going better for Peeta. Both IV's have been removed and he has been unhooked from the monitor although he still gets a morphling shot once a day.

The nurse came in early this morning to give him the morphling. "Will you hold my hand, please?" Peeta looks at me with soft eyes as he holds out his hand. I smile a bit as I get off my chair and take his hand.

"You are such a baby," I playfully say as I tussle his sandy blonde hair.

"You wouldn't like shots either if you had been injected with venom. I don't know which was worse the pain from the venom or the visions it gave me," Peeta says as he squeezes my hand while closing his eyes tightly and turning his head away when the nurse inserts the needle. I can feel his grip tighten a bit as she pushes down on the syringe. He doesn't open his eyes until the needle is removed.

"All done, Mr. Mellark," says the nurse as she holds the cotton ball to the injections spot.

After that we head down to the kitchen since the doctors are allowing him to help out in the kitchen for a couple hours, but he cannot do much standing. The ladies are more than happy to let him have the jobs that he can do while sitting. I think it is really helping his recovery cause he is always so happy when in the kitchen.

"Hello, ladies," he greets them as we enter.

"Hi, Peeta and Katniss," comes the chorus from all over.

Peeta sits at the counter and begins to knead the dough that has already been mixed up. I can see the cheese so my mouth starts to water in anticipation for the cheese rolls that I know will be ready in an hour or so.

I help by putting the rolls in the oven after Peeta has put them on the sheets. I can't bake but I do know how to turn on an over. After that I wave "goodbye" to all of them as I leave to go hunting.

When he is finished helping in the kitchen Peeta usually has to take a nap when he gets back to his room because it really wears him out.

After lunch I go to visit him and he wants take a walk down the hall. He still can't walk for too long but he likes to go for even just a short walk cause it gets him out of his room.

As we walk we stop to talk to other patients. One old man is very excited to get visitors so we go in his room for a chat. He tells us his name is Tack and that he is from district 10. He tells us a few stories of the long cattle drives he would make with his father and then later with his son to get the cattle to the train station so they could be sold and shipped to the capitol. "We used to travel for days on horse back."

"It is hard to imagine the capitol letting you travel that far from home," Peeta interjects.

"Our town was a long way away from the train station and the capitol citizens loved their steaks."

When Tack speaks about sleeping out under the stars at night it reminds me of the night Gale and I slept out in the woods. We had gone hunting after super right at dusk since that is when the deer come out the most. When we got back to the fence we found that the electricity had been turned on. Since we could not get past the fence we had slept on some blankets we had found in the shack by the lake my dad had shone me. I remember how beautiful the stars had been on that night.

I am brought back to the present when I feel Peeta's head on my shoulder. The poor boy is falling asleep.

When Tack is finished with his story I politely tell him that we need to head back. Tack smiles and asks us to come visit again. I tell him we will. Then I lead a very groggy Peeta back to his room.

When I get him in bed he is out almost immediately. I take my usual spot in the chair in the corner and pull out the maps I have folded in my pocket. We were given the maps in training. They are of the capitol and we are supposed to memorize them in case we are separated from our captain. Only the captains will have holos, which will be our only map.

I am deep in concentration trying to memorize the blocks around President Snow's mansion. I glance up from the map when I hear Peeta mumbling. The morphling has helped with his pain and helped him heal faster but on the down side it has seemed to really intensify his nightmares.

I listen to him mumble words I do not understand and then watch, as he seems to shift nervously in bed. He clenches his fists and rolls over to his side and curls up in the fetal position.

I am trying to decide if I should wake him when he starts calling my name. "Katniss, no, not Katniss. Please, don't hurt her." He begins to roll around violently as if fighting against someone. "Do whatever you want with me but let her go," he pleads. I quickly set the maps on the chair and hurry over to his bed.

I am just reaching for his arm when he cries out, "Katniss!" I jump back out of instinct. Peeta rolls back to his fetal position and covers his face with his hands as he begins to sob. I climb on the bed so I am kneeling by Peeta's side since he is facing the wall and there is no way to get between the bed and the wall. I am able to force him to roll over but he still covers his face.

"Peeta, wake up. Open your eyes." I grab his wrists to try to pull his hands away from his face. "No. No. They killed her," he continues to cry. "Peeta, look at me. It's Katniss. I'm okay."

I straddle him so I can get more leverage and am able to barely pull one hand away from his face. He resists the whole time while I slowly force the other arm down too. Then while leaning most of my weight on his arms I reach up with a shaky hand to caress the side of his face from his cheekbone down to his chin. "Peeta, please wake up," I plead as I don't know how much longer I can hold his arms down.

At my touch, he takes in a breathy sob and finally opens his eyes. "Katniss," he whispers as his hand reaches to my face and his thumb gently rubs my cheek. I smile and nod as I place my hand on top of his.

Without any warning he sits up quickly and wraps his arms around me tightly as he begins to sob silently into my chest. I am thrown off guard but then sympathetically lean over and embrace him in my arms.

As he continues to cry I run my fingers through his hair and whisper, "Shh, everything is okay. Shh, shh, don't cry." I feel a few tears fall from my own eyes, as I hate to see him in such anguish.

Peeta finally breathes in a few deep but choked breathes a few times into my stomach before finally loosening his grip and looking up at me with his beautiful but sad, deep blue eyes. "When will the dreams stop?" he looks at me questioningly as a few more tears slide down his cheek.

"I don't know," I softly reply as I brush the tears away with my fingers. I don't know if the dreams will ever go away, but I don't tell Peeta that. I sit down on his lap and kiss his forehead before I wrap my legs around him and pull him back against me.

I embrace him protectively as he rests his head on my chest right under my chin and pulls his arms in close to his chest as if seeking security in my grasp. I rest my chin on his head and just hold him. I can feel his body shiver every once in a while. I am sure he is still thinking of the dream he just had. I begin to rub his back slowly and quietly hum the meadow song. I am beginning to wonder if he has drifted back to sleep as I continue to hear his slow deeps breathes.

After a few minutes I quietly ask, "Peeta?"

"Hmm?" he breathes out.

"What did you dream?" I ask as I continue to rub his back. I feel another shiver pass through his body and am starting to question if I should have asked when Peeta speaks barely loud enough for me to hear.

"I dreamt I was back in the capitol and Snow had you brought to the room where I was being held. As they injected me with more venom they made me watch as you were slowly and painfully tortured. They told me that this is what happened to people who rebelled against the capitol."

He cocks his head so he can look into my eyes. His blue eyes shine with admiration as he continues, "You never cried or screamed but just stayed strong."

Then he curled his head back into my chest and stares off at the wall. "I tried to help you but there was nothing I could do." He slowly shook his head. "They wouldn't even let me hold you as I watched you take your final breath lying in a pool of your own blood." I feel a shiver run up his body. "It was worse than thinking you were a mutt."

I feel his arms curl back around me, and his fingers play with the bottom of my braid. "I hope I never have to watch you die," he whispers as he nestles his face by my neck. I feel a tingle pass through my body as he breathes on my neck.

I lightly kiss his temple. "I hope so too, Peeta," I whisper back. He in turn ever so slightly kisses my neck. I loosen my arms and he lifts up his head to stare into my damp gray eyes. I lean in to kiss his soft lips. He kisses back a little longer and with more passion.

We continue to kiss longer and deeper. My desire turns from trying to comfort Peeta to wanting his strong but tender touch more and more. Soon I feel my way down to pull off his shirt. My hands tenderly pass over some of the more prominent scars on his chest. As we continue to kiss I feel his hands reach down to grad hold of the edge of my shirt. His touch slowly glides up from my waist.

But when he reaches the edge of my bra he stops. He suddenly pulls away mid kiss and lets go of my shirt which falls back around my hips. I open my eyes and look into his.

"What's wrong?" I whisper as I close my eyes and lean in to try to continue.

He gently but firmly puts his hands on my shoulders. I open my eyes and they meet with his. He looks at me with serious eyes and slowly shakes his head. "Katniss, I can't. I'm sorry. It just doesn't seem right."

"What do you mean?" I say leaning back while crossing my arms over my chest and looking at him with feelings of both hurt and rejection.

"I mean I love you and want to do it, but it just doesn't feel right."

Peeta's body slumps slightly as he looks down at his hands that he is clasping in his lap. "Dad always said that if you love and respect a girl then you would wait until after marriage."

He tilts his head a little to the side as his eyes slowly come to meet mine as he is trying to see if I understand. "I love you and hope that some day…" he timidly continues, "well, after all this is over…that maybe you will…" Peeta can't seem to finish but I know what he is thinking.

I smile shyly and reach up to lightly brush a stray lock of hair from his face. I nod to let him know I understand, but wonder if it will ever happen. As I think of how good a guy Peeta is, I feel my cheeks turn red when I realize what we almost did.

I kiss him again hastily on the cheek, which in turn makes Peeta blush as he puts his hand to his cheek. I crawl off his lap and start walking over to the chair near the door.

Peeta quickly blurts out, "You don't have to leave." I hear the panic in his voice and turn to see a slightly concerned look on his face.

I shake my head a bit. "I was just getting my maps." I pick up the maps and hold them up for him to see with a look of empathy, and then head slowly back over to the bed. "I figure if you are still going to come to the capitol you will need to know the maps too." Peeta smiles slightly and pulls in his legs to sit cross-legged. I climb back on the bed and lay out the map between us. I look into his blue eyes one more time before I look at the map and begin to explain it to him.

The next few hours are spent looking at and discussing different parts of the map. Our "embrace" is conveniently forgotten for the moment as I show Peeta the marking for the pods and how they are labeled if we know what kind they are. We also try to figure out which ways may be the safest to get to Snow.

All track of time is lost until the nurse brings in a tray for Peeta. It is then I look at the clock and can hardly believe it is already 6:30. "I should probably go for supper. They'll wonder where I am," I say as I absentmindedly start to fold up the maps.

When I reach for the last one I feel Peeta's hand come to rest on mine. I look up at his questioning eyes. He quickly pulls his hand back away. "Will you come back after training?"

"Yes," I answer and smile sweetly at the concern in his voice. I think he is still afraid that he offended me. "I'll come back after training." I reach over to touch his hand reassuringly. As I exit I see Peeta yawn as he pulls the tray of food over.

I have to quickly scarf down my supper by the time I get through the line and sit down at our table. Everyone looks at me, but just continues on in their conversations. All too soon Finnick, Johanna, and Gale stand to leave for training. "Are you coming?" Gale asks as he picks up his tray.

I nod as I shovel the last spoonful in my mouth. To be honest I am not really sure what I just ate since I practically just inhaled it.

"Have a good evening," mom says as I hurry away after the others. I just wave back in her general direction.

Training goes along as usual. After I finish my last lap around the track I head back to the hospital. As I pass the desk I call "Hi," to Prim.

"Katniss, wait," she calls after me. I stop mid stride and turn to look at her. "Peeta's not in his hospital room anymore. The doctors decided he was well enough so they released him after supper. He should be back in his regular room."

"Thanks," I smile as I head back out of the hospital. I take the elevator and then head down the familiar hallway until I reach his room. I smile when I immediately notice it now has a regular door on it instead of the one that locks on the inside. Peeta will be happy that he can come and go more as he pleases.

I open the door to find him already in bed asleep. I walk over to the bed and pillows that are calling my name. I pull back the covers and quietly climb in. I lie down next to him and breathe in the clean smell of his still damp hair.

Peeta does not stir until I slip my arms around his middle and lightly kiss his shoulder. "Mmm," is the only sound he makes as he turns over and pulls me in closer and leans his head into the crevice of my neck. We both get a full night's sleep for the first time in a long time.

**Sorry if you don't like the ending of the love scene but I am a bit "Old Fashoined" and don't think Peeta would go too far. I hope you like the story. Quick question: I am trying to decide where I should end the story. I have ideas for more chapters but should I stop before they go to the capitol? I am not sure how well I could write those parts. **


	29. Chapter 29

When Peeta and I get up in the morning we head to the hospital to get his morphling shot before I drop him off at the kitchen. Staying with Peeta works to my advantage because with his weakened state he is allowed to sleep in and I am consequently allowed the same privilege.

While Peeta is getting his apron and chatting to some of the other cooks I make a beeline over to Greasy Sae. I speak in a hushed whisper so that Peeta will not know the plans I have for later. When finished, I wish them all a good morning and head down the hall for hunting.

While hunting I scout out the perfect location. To get him to agree with my plans I had to really pull some strings with Boggs and promise to follow my schedule. I'm sure that will happen. Whatever.

After hunting is over I take my bag down to the kitchen. Greasy Sae and I exchange bags and I head over to where Peeta is chatting with some of the other cooks.

As I get closer they all smile really big and begin to whisper back and forth to each other. Obviously Peeta is about the only one in the kitchen who does not know about my plan.

Peeta turns around to look at me. He gives me a very confused but happy expression. "What's up with them?" he motions behind him to the cooks which just makes them twitter even louder and more shrilly.

"It's a surprise," I say as I open my eyes very large and try to give an annoyed face. This quiets them down as they all clasp hands over their mouths. Then I take Peeta's hand and pull him out of his chair. "Come on. Let's go."

"Where are we going?" he asks as he reluctantly gets out of his chair.

"It's part of the surprise. Just come on." I pull on his arm harder as he slowly begins to come along. I keep hold of his hand as I turn to lead him out of the kitchen.

"What's in the bag?" he says as he jerks me to a stop when he notices the bag hanging over my shoulder.

"You'll find out soon enough. Now come on we're late."

"Late for what?" Peeta leans back some to keep me from continuing down the hall. I just glare at his playful smile and jerk harder on his arm. Without another word he starts walking but at a turtles pace. I just shake my head and keep walking as I pull against his arm. We get into the elevator and I push the button for the first floor. "Are we going to the greenhouse?"

"No, just wait and see."

When the elevator door opens we step out and head over to the door that I always use for hunting. Boggs is standing next to it. He opens the door and I lead Peeta through. "Morning, Boggs," I say as I smile and keep pulling on Peeta's arm.

As the door closes behind us Peeta finally speaks after a long silence. "Are you sure it's okay for us to leave like that?"

I stop and look at Peeta dead in the eye. "Do you think Boggs would have let us just walk right out like that if it was not okay?"

Peeta just shrugs his shoulders, "I guess not."

"Trust me. It's fine."

We amble through the woods at almost a crawl. Peeta's eyes dart about as if he has not been outside before, but I don't rush him since I know it has been since the arena that he has. I felt similar on my first day of hunting.

After about an hour of walking we finally reach the spot I picked out for us. There is a small pond and a nice grassy area. While Peeta continues to soak in every detail I pull a blanket out of the bag and lay it on the grass.

Then I pull out a smaller bag, which contains our lunch. "Come on. Sit down, Peeta." The sound of his name seems to bring him back out of his thoughts.

"Sorry. I guess I wasn't paying attention."

"It's fine." I smile as his eyes continue to look around as he takes a seat on the blanket.

"How did you find this place? It's a lot like home."

"I found it while hunting. Are you hungry?"

"Sure," he answers as he looks at the bag in my lap. I open it and pull out a sandwich and apple for each of us. We sit in the sunshine and eat our lunch in relative silence. "Did you hear that?" Peeta asks as a smile grows on his face.

"Hear what?" I ask.

"The bird, silly. I think it was a sparrow."

I shake my head and open my mouth to say something when Peeta places his hand on my thigh and puts his finger to his lips. I freeze and listen.

"Did you hear it?" he whispers with an even bigger smile. I can't help but smile back at his goofy grin. "It's been so long since I've heard a bird I almost think I forgot how sweet it sounds."

Peeta leans back and closes his eyes. I watch his facial expressions change at even the slightest of "outdoor" sounds. Without opening his eyes he lies down on his back and places his hands behind his head. I do the same, but open my eyes every now and then to see Peeta. I am soon enjoying listening to nature all around and feeling the warm rays of the sun soak into my skin when I feel Peeta's fingers tenderly interlace with my own.

I open my eyes and turn to see his wide open too, but they are not on me but on the sky above. I look up and see many clouds floating by. I don't say anything until I see one that reminds me of Johanna's ridiculous tree costume. A giggle escapes my lips, which causes Peeta to tilt his head in my direction.

"What?" he says as he smiles at me, so I point up at the cloud and explain what I saw. The next while is spent finding more pictures in the clouds.

After a long silence from Peeta I notice that his breathing has deepened. Even though we have not done a lot it was still enough to tire him out. I can't blame him though because it is very relaxing laying here in the sun. I close my eyes too but can't seem to sleep.

The sun beating down on me feels good, but is almost too warm. I think back to the days of when my dad and I would swim in the lake deep in the woods of district 12. I sit up and look down at Peeta sleeping peacefully and decide to take a quick dip in the pond.

At first I just pull my pant legs up and wade about the waters edge. But soon I have them pulled up as far as they will go and am up to just above the knee. I lean down and splash the cool water up on my arms and face. I walk back to find Peeta still sleeping soundly so I walk back to the water.

This time I pull my pants off completely so I am standing there in just my shirt. I hesitate momentarily thinking "what if Peeta wakes up and finds me in my bra and underwear?" but the urge to swim wins out over my possible embarrassment and I quickly shed my shirt and walk out into the water.

My body shivers slightly as it gets used to the colder temperature. Once I dunk my head under the water though my whole body feels refreshed. I practice a few of the strokes that Finnick has been teaching me. I swim out to the middle of the pond and dive down to see if I can find the bottom, which proves to be easy to do as I find the pond is only eight to ten feet deep.

Soon I find myself lazily floating on top of the water with my eyes closed. I paddle with my feet and occasionally stroke with my arms but mostly just lay still. It is so peaceful and serene that I almost forget that I am not back in district 12.

I almost catch myself literally drifting off the sleep when a non-nature sound pulls me back to reality. I right myself and tread water as I listen for the sound again. Then I realize it is not just any sound it is Peeta calling my name. I listen again. It sounds like it is becoming more frantic.

I glance around the edge of the pond. It takes me a while to figure out where our spot is. Once I figure it out I swim in that direction as quickly as possible. I crouch in the water for a bit trying to see where Peeta is and not really wanting him to see me practically naked. I can hear him calling but can't find where he is. I dash up to my clothes on the shore and pull them on as fast as can be done without drying off.

Once dressed I stop to listen for Peeta's voice and then call to him as I head in his apparent direction. "Peeta, where are you?" I shout then listen for a reply.

I hear him call, "Katniss?"

"Peeta, over here." I run a little farther into the woods then stop to listen again. I hear him shout and it sounds like he is getting farther away. "Peeta, stop moving. I'll come to you," I holler then walk on.

This time I don't hear his voice again but I can hear him moving. I stop calling to as I try to focus on telling what direction he is traveling in. This is one time I am glad that he can't move very quietly. As I keep following his sounds I wonder to myself why he quit calling for me. "Peeta, can you hear me?" I call, but I get no answer. I stop to listen and find that he has stopped too. "Peeta," I say almost cautiously as I think I am pretty close to him but something just does not feel right.

I walk a few feet more when I hear a twig break behind me. I turn just in time to see Peeta coming straight at me with his arms out, but not in time for me to dodge away. Peeta grabs my neck and starts to squeeze. "Peeta, stop!" I squeak out.

"I can't," he sneers. "If I let you go you will just turn on me again like in the games when you hunted me down."

I grab his wrists and hold on as I shake my head. His hands continue to squeeze as he continues talking. "Everything is so clear now. You brought me out here so you could kill me and no one would ever find my body."

"No," I barely whisper as I feel a tear slide down my cheek.

As Peeta's hands continue to constrict my airflow I notice his eyes dart away from me for a split second, but then they are back on me. He tries to stay focused on me but something keeps drawing his attention away.

His eyes keep looking at something behind me and his pupils begin to fluctuate. I feel his grip loosen ever so slightly.

"Dandelions," he whispers.

I continue to hold onto his wrists and any hope I have of living.

His eyes leave my face for a bit longer. When he looks back at me his eyes appear almost normal. "Dandelions," he says again. "You like dandelions."

I can't tell if he is asking or simply stating the fact but either way I slowly and painfully nod my head.

Without warning he lets go of me altogether and I drop to the ground gasping for breath. I look up at him as I continue to gasp. I find Peeta staring down at me with a horrified look on his face. He crouches down next to me and reaches out his hands to me but I push myself away and shake my head in fear as my hands grasp at my already bruising neck.

Time seems to stand still as I both feel the tears flow down my checks and see them on Peeta's. He crumbles to his knees near me, covers his face, and sobs quietly. I hear him mumble what sounds like "I'm sorry," many times.

I continue to lie on the ground until I can finally breathe without much pain then slowly roll over and push myself to my knees. I look around to find Peeta next to a tree a few feet away. He is just sitting there staring at his hands and slowly shaking his head. As I watch him for a bit I see a tear drip from his chin to his shirt.

Using the tree next to me for support I gradually stand on my wobbly legs and make my way over to Peeta. I put my hand on his shoulder and lower myself down next to him. His head slowly turns and his sad, moist eyes come to rest on my face as another tear falls. "I almost killed you," he utters as his hands begin to shake.

"But you didn't, Peeta. You stopped," I whisper hoarsely. I reach up to wipe away a few tears that slide down his checks.

Peeta gently reaches up a hand and lightly brushes his fingertips against my neck. Even though my body is screaming to get away, I control the urge to run and hold perfectly still except for swallowing. Something in me tells me I have to show him that I still trust him.

Peeta is the one who winces as his fingers glide over the bruises. "I can't believe I almost killed you." He turns and looks back down at his hands. I find myself slowly wrapping my arms around Peeta and resting my head on his shoulder while closing my eyes.

After staying like this for a long while, my mind reminds me that we need to get back. My eyes slowly open. I look at the watch on my wrist and know that Boggs will have been expecting us to have been back about an hour ago.

My knees crackle as I stiffly rise to a standing position. I gently shake Peeta's shoulder. "Peeta, we need to get back." He looks at me while not saying a word and cautiously takes my outstretched hand. I help to pull him up and carefully make my way back to the blanket and bag that are still sitting by the edge of the pond. I scoop them up in my one arm while still loosely holding onto Peeta's hand. Neither of us says a word the whole walk back to 13.

I can see the annoyed look on Boggs' face as he stands at the gate. His expression seems to soften, as we get closer. Maybe he could see the raw emotion on both our faces. He doesn't mention us being late or me going to training. He simply follows us inside and then locks the door afterward.

I lead Peeta back to his room where he mechanically pulls off his shirt, climbs into bed, and curls up into a ball under the covers. He doesn't close his eyes but simply stares at the wall.

I sit on the edge of the bed with my knees pulled up to my chest and silently stroke my fingers through his hair. "I forgive you," I whisper. "I know without the venom you would never hurt me." Peeta doesn't move.

After a few minutes of quiet I finally stand. "Peeta, I have to go to training. You can meet me after if you like or I'll come back here." I'm not sure which will happen because he doesn't answer but nods his head without looking at me. I lean down and press my lips to his forehead before walking out the door and closing it silently behind me. I know to head for the obstacle course.

When I get there I walk around until I find my group and fall in line behind the last person. My teammates all turn to stare at me.

"Good of you to show up, Firegirl," comments Johanna as she swings across the mud pit.

No one else says anything including Boggs. He just glances at me with a look of disappointment. Training goes by in a blur.

When we finish the course some loiter about to wait for other people while the rest of us start to head for the door to go inside. Boggs opens the door to let us in but when I get to the door he sticks out his arm to block my way. I stop and look at him.

"Soldier Everdeen, you have some explaining to do. I gave you and Peeta permission to be out for five hours. Why were you late?" He motions for me to follow him as he moves off to the side. He looks me in the eyes when he says, "I expect the truth."

I think for a bit. Out of all the people of district 13 I think I would trust Boggs the most. Although he has never shown much emotion he always seems sincere and actually does care about me. "If I tell will you promise not to tell anyone," I answer, as I fear what will happen to Peeta if they find out he almost choked me.

"Only if I feel it is necessary," replies Boggs without looking away as he crosses his massive arms over his broad chest.

I sigh deeply. "Okay, here's the truth. Peeta and I had our picnic as planned. After the picnic Peeta feel asleep so I decided to take a quick swim in the pond."

Boggs nods his head and raises an eyebrow to indicate I should continue.

"While I was swimming Peeta must have woke up and been scared that I was not around. He started calling and looking for me. When I heard him calling I came back but he was gone."

I stop but Boggs only says, "Hmm" so I continue.

"I started searching for him. I guess walking in the wood must have remind him of the games and triggered an episode. When I found him he tried to choke me. He didn't though and we are both okay."

I look at Boggs who is still processing the whole thing.

"That's what happened whether you believe me or not." I cross my arms defensively and wait for him to speak.

"I believe you," he says, "but I still have to give you consequences for being late."

I decide it will not help to argue. "What is my punishment?" I breathe out a huge sigh.

"Ten of ten."

"What?" I question.

"You have to complete obstacle 10 ten times." He raises his eyebrows to see if I understand.

I roll my eyes but nod my head "yes". I start to walk off but stop and turn back to see Boggs watching me. "You aren't going to tell Peeta's doctors are you?" I look down at my feet. "He just started getting freedom. It would probably kill him to go back to confinement." I look back up at Boggs with pleading eyes.

Boggs' stern face softens ever so slightly. "No, I don't believe it will be necessary," Boggs simply states.

I turn and slowly trudge off to obstacle 10.

"You better hurry, Soldier Everdeen. It looks like it might rain." I look up at the cloudy sky and pick up my pace just a bit. "Oh, and Soldier Everdeen." I stop to listen but don't turn around. "I have to report to President Coin so check with Butch when you finish. His group is still on the course." I nod and start back off again. Number 10 is the worst obstacle.

When I get to it I stand and glare. First I have to climb the wall using only a rope secured to the small platform, which is torture for my already tired arms. After that is balance beam over a pit of mud. Next I have to crawl across the net made of rope. Last I have to climb down the rock-climbing wall.

I told Boggs once it would be easier to do this one in reverse, but he just barked, "Soldier Everdeen, training is not supposed to be easy," then ordered me to start climbing the rope.

I have completed this obstacle five times when I feel the first drops of rain. Oh great just what I need to make it harder.

By the time I fight through two more times the rain has turned to a downpour. I struggle up the rope for the eighth time. Then stand at the edge of the balance beam to catch my breath.

Finally I begin to inch my way across. Usually I have excellent balance but the board is slippery and I am having trouble seeing because of the rain dripping down my face. I am only a foot away from the platform when a gust of wind catches me off guard. I teeter for a bit but then fall into the mud.

I have to use all of my remaining strength to work my way out of the knee-deep mud. I finally reach the edge of the pit and pull myself out of the mud and flop on my back in the wet grass. I close my eyes and try to relax as every muscle in my body is screaming.

I am not sure how long I lay there, but I am suddenly aware of another presence. I open my eyes to see a dark form hovering over me. I roll over and struggle to my feet. As I look into the darkness I see not one but five shadowy figures standing around me.

"Hello, little Mockingbird," says one of them as he takes a step closer.

"Who are you and what do you want?" I says as I try to place the voice. It sounds oddly familiar.

"What, you don't recognize us without all the paint?"

Without being able to see them in the dark I know who it is. It is Sythe and his buddies. "I'm not in the mood, Sythe." I take a step to the side to go around them, but they just shift over.

"Not so brave is she without a paintball gun." Sythe takes a few steps closer. "Time for a little revenge," he says while pounding his fist into his other hand. They all start closing in on me.

My mind is racing trying to decide what to do. If I had a weapon I could beat them, but they outnumber me and I am still out of breath from the obstacle course.

Sythe is the first to attack so I kick him where it hurts. When he falls to the ground holding himself it draws the rest of the guys attention away from me. I make a mad dash to the side and am able to run past them.

"Get her!" howls out Sythe. I glance behind me when I hear many feet. All of them are chasing after me. My only hope is to make it the door that is always being guarded. I see a break in the trees that looks as good a place as any to run through.

But as I pass the trees I realize the problem with my plan. There is a huge gully where there must be a stream.

Because of the darkness and the rain, I am not able to stop in time and find myself tumbling down the side with no way of stopping.

My head hits a rock at the bottom and the world around me goes hazy and then I pass out.

**Sorry for leaving the story off there, well not so much;) I would like your thoughts for the next chapter. It is mostly with Peeta and Johanna. Who's piont of view should I write it in? I think I already now my choice but would like your opinion.**


	30. Chapter 30

**So at first this chapter was going to be Peeta's POV then I thought about writing it in Johanna's POV but all the reviews I got said to do it in Peeta's so I switched back to Peeta's. Enjoy!**

Peeta's POV

I wake up to screams. "Katniss!" My eyes pop open but I can't see anything. I am very disoriented and have no idea where I am. I feel around and find that I am lying on a cold hard cement floor. A chill runs through me as memories begin to flood back. I remember this place but my mind can't quite recall from where.

Suddenly a door opens and a tall, muscular figure is standing there. He steps into the room and grabs me by the arm and begins to drag me.

Outside is a long white hall. As we pass other doors I hear more screams and crying. My mind sadly realizes where I am. I am back in the capitol.

The large man in the crisp white uniform drags me into a room that is all too familiar. He straps me into a chair and then exits.

President Snow walks in and sits in the chair in front of me. "Hello, Peeta. Nice to have you back."

"President Snow," I calmly reply and stare at him with my cold blue eyes.

"I never thought I would be seeing you again and yet here you are."

This time I don't answer. I too had been hoping to never find myself in this room again.

"Tell me. How does it feel to know you single handedly brought down the whole rebellion?" President Snow watches me with those cold eyes.

I look down at my feet, as my mind tries to figure out what he is talking about. I finally look at him with questioning eyes. "What do you mean?"

A large, sinister smile forms on his face. "Let me congratulate you for doing exactly what we were training you to do."

"I don't understand." I say quietly still racking my brain for answers.

"You killed the Mockingjay," Snow says and begins to laugh.

I close my eyes and shake my head. "No, no, I didn't." I can here the panic in my voice rise as Snow continues to laugh. "No, Katniss is alive! I didn't kill her!" I yell. I begin to pull against the restraints as a man in a white lab coat walks in. He is holding a syringe.

"Just do it. We have no more use for him," Snow says as he walks out of the room.

"It will all be over soon," says the doctor as he walks toward me.

I look at the syringe expecting to see the familiar green of tracker venom but this one is different. It is bright red. "What is that?" My voice catches as the question comes out.

"Something we like to call nightlock. We gave it that name in honor of you and Katniss," the doctor replies as he walks to my side.

My eyes get large. They are going to kill me, now that they don't need me anymore. I start to struggle but can't get away. I pull at my arms but it is no use. "No, no!" I yell.

Suddenly my eyes fly open for real this time as I continue to struggle but soon find I am not fighting restraints but only the blankets of my bed. I manage to sit up even though I am still twisted up in my sheets. I feel sweat trickle down my face. I pull one arm free from the blankets and reach up to wipe my face. "It was just a dream. It was just a dream," I whisper to myself over and over.

I slowly glance around the room until my eyes fall on a bag. It is the bag Katniss carried our lunch in. I feel a shudder pass through my body as I try to think back to what happened in the woods earlier today. Did I kill Katniss? "No!" my mind tells me, "Remember, Katniss brought you back here."

I try to think of what she said before she left. I remember she said she was going to training. Did she say she was coming back or was I supposed to meet her? Training should be over by now so I quickly decide that maybe I should head down to meet her. I pull the tangle of blankets from my body and slide out of bed. I pull on my shirt that is still in a pile on the floor. I can still smell the scent of pine needles on it.

As I walk down the hall and ride the elevator up to the first floor my mind begins to fill with thoughts. Will Katniss want to see me? What will happen when my doctors find out what I almost did? Will these episodes ever go away completely?

I shake my head to clear it as I step out of the elevator. I can see a group coming inside but I don't know any of them. I stand and wait as other groups come in.

Finally I notice Johanna standing off to the side with a group of young men. I look around and see more of her teammates, but I don't see Katniss anywhere. I slowly make my way through the crowd and over to where Johanna is talking and obviously flirting with some guys.

"Well, hi there lover boy. What can I do for you?" she says as she takes my arm and leans against it as she walks her fingers up my chest.

"Johanna, do you know where Katniss is?"

"No, but I know of a woman with lots of experience and she is ready to teach you anything you want to know." She winks at the other guys then bats her eyes at me and gives a very seductive smile.

"Yes, I'm sure you do, but I'm not interested." I glance around the area as more people come in the door. "When did you last see Katniss?" I look back down at Johanna with a serious look.

She rolls her eyes. "I don't know. Last I saw she was talking to Boggs. He was saying something about her doing 10 of 10. He said it was her punishment for being late, I think."

"Do you know where Boggs is?"

"I saw him walk off about fifteen minutes ago." Johanna shrugs her shoulders.

"She must be still out there. I have to find her." I pull away from Johanna.

"See you around, lover boy," she calls as she waves me off and turns her attention back to the guys still standing around her.

Butch, my old captain, is standing at the door. "Can I help you, Peeta?" he asks as I walk up to the door.

"I'm looking for Katniss. I think she might still be outside."

Butch looks out the window and then looks back at me. "Boggs told me to let her in when she is finished."

"What is she doing?"

"Doing one of the obstacles."

"Can I go out and see if she is almost finished?"

"I guess, but it's raining," Butch comments as he opens the door.

"Thanks," I call back as I jog out into the rain.

As I get maybe twenty feet from the door Sythe and his gang come jogging up. "Bread Boy," Sythe nearly spits out as he glares at me. I turn to watch them file in the door before I turn to head for obstacle 10. That must be what Johanna was talking about when she said 10 of 10. I feel the rain soak through my shirt as I jog. I know about where 10 is located. "Katniss!" I call as I near some trees. I can see the dark form of the platform just on the other side.

As I pass through the trees I feel the ground under my feet begin to give way. I lean back and find myself sliding down a muddy slope on my backside. When I come to a stop at the bottom I grab a tree root to help me stand up. I look up the other embankment and start to carefully shuffle along incase there is a stream or hole.

I am almost to the other side when my foot kicks against something soft. I squint in the darkness and lean down to feel with my hands. I am startled when I feel cloth and then skin.

When I brush away some of the leaves, I gasp and fall to my knees when I realize the lump is Katniss. "Katniss," I say as I quickly brush away the leaves. I gently shake her shoulders, but she doesn't respond. When she doesn't move I lift her crumpled body in my arms. I look around to try and find the easiest way out. Both sides are steep and muddy.

I hold Katniss close with one arm as I use my other arm to grab onto tree roots and begin to climb up the side I slid down. It is a very slow process as I make my way up the embankment with only one arm. My feet slide several times on the slick mud but I am able to keep from falling as I feel my arm muscles strain to keep hold of the roots.

I finally manage to climb out and lay Katniss on the ground as I catch my breath.

I then carry her under a light pole nearby. I carefully set her down and brush the wet matted hair from her forehead and find a huge gash. I quickly pull off my shirt and rip it to make a long strip that I use to wrap around her head to slow the blood that is oozing from the cut.

I then stand and pick up her limp body and carry it to the door. When I pull on the handle the door doesn't budge. I knock and try to see in the little window. Butch is gone and all I can see is an empty room. I pull on the handle harder but still the door won't open. I shift Katniss in my arms and pound on the door. "Help, the door is locked. Let us in!" I call even though no one is around. I shiver at a gust of cold wind and pull Katniss closer to me.

Finally I huddle down by the door and cradle Katniss between my legs holding her with one arm trying to keep her warm. I use my other hand to knock on the door hoping that someone might walk by and hear me.

I am soon soaked to the bone and shivering all over. "Hold on, Katniss," I whisper through chattering teeth. As I brush her cheek with my hand I feel pain when I straighten my fingers. My knuckles are bloody but I continue to slowly knock on the door as that is my only hope. I do not want to stay out all night until they come out to hunt in the morning.

Just as I am about to give up hope the door slowly opens. As I turn to see who it is I hear a familiar voice. "Peeta, what in the world are you doing out here?" I look up to see Johanna staring down at me.

"It's all my fault," I barely get out as I feel tears slide down my face.

"What's your fault?" Johanna asks in her usual gruff voice as she squats down next to me and places a hand on my shoulder. Johanna's eyebrows are knit together in question.

I open up my arms to show her Katniss's limp body.

"What happened to her? She looks horrible."

"I think she fell when coming back from her punishment. Don't you see it's all my fault? If I hadn't made us late then she would have come in with the rest of you and wouldn't have fallen." More tears brim my eyes. "Please help her." I look up at Johanna with pleading eyes.

Johanna sighs as she nods and stands up. "Come on, big boy. Let's get her to the hospital," she says using my shoulder as she stands up.

I use the door handle as I struggle to my feet while holding Katniss securely in my arm. I follow Johanna down the hall and into the elevator.

When we step off the elevator Johanna heads for the nurse's desk. She must be telling the nurse what happened as I see her gestures in my direction. When the nurse sees me holding Katniss, she immediately picks up the phone.

Soon another nurse and a doctor come out a door pushing a bed. I lay Katniss on it and they begin to roll her away. I try to follow but the doctor tells me I will have to wait out here. "We will let you know when Miss Everdeen can have visitors."

"But…" I start to protest.

"Sorry, no exceptions."

"Come on, Peeta. Let's sit down," Johanna guides (well, pushes really) me over to a chair. I plop down in the chair clasping my hands in my lap as I stare at the floor. Neither of us says a word. I glance over at Johanna once to see her glaring over at other people across the hall. I see them whisper and point at me. I look back down at my feet.

My body begins to shiver slightly as I have no shirt and my pants are damp from the rain. Johanna notices. "Why don't you go to your room and get on some dry clothes?" she suggests.

I slowly shake my head as I continue to shiver. "Katniss may need me," I say with a shaky voice.

I hear Johanna stand and leave. She soon returns and drops a shirt and blanket in my lap.

"Th-th-thanks," I mutter as I pull the shirt over my head. I then wrap the blanket around my shoulders.

"What ever," she replies gruffly and then sits back down next to me.

I continue to stare at the floor as I worry about Katniss. Johanna interrupts my thoughts when she speaks up, "What happened to your hand?"

I look down to see the blood dried to my knuckles and move my hand between my legs as if Johanna won't know about it any more.

"You really should get that cleaned and wrapped."

I only glance in her direction but don't move.

She sighs loudly. "Must I do everything?"

I look up to see Johanna walk over to the desk and talk to the nurse. I hear the nurse tell her, "You will have to wait for the next available doctor."

"I don't need a doctor. All I need is some bandages." Johanna demands as she bangs her fist on the desk

"I can't give them to you." The nurse tries to reply calmly though I can see a little fear in her eyes.

I hear Johanna huff and watch as she walks down the hall as the nurse calls after her, "Ma'am, you can't go in there." Johanna ignores her completely.

She returns shortly with a warm wet cloth and some bandages. Johanna pays no attention to the annoyed looks the nurse is giving her and the stares coming from other people in the room. She walks back over to me and kneels in front of my chair without saying a word.

I don't protest when she takes hold of my hand and begins to clean away the dirt and blood. I only wince a little in pain but am surprised at how careful and gentle she is. Let's face it; we all know how rough Johanna usually is.

After my hand is clean and bandaged, Johanna walks up to the nurse and lays the soiled cloth on her desk. "Thanks," I hear her say sarcastically. I can only imagine the look she gave the nurse.

Johanna flops back down in her chair with her legs dangling over one armrest and her head resting on the other side closest to me. She takes no notice of the evil eye the man sitting next to us is giving her. She simply rests her hands loosely clasped on her chest and closes her eyes. She doesn't move or say another word.

Finally the doctor comes out. "You can come see Miss Everdeen now."

Johanna lifts her legs off the armrest and stands as I stand too. She glares at the man who is still looking at her with annoyance.

We follow the doctor down the hall. The doctor stops and motions us into a room. I slowly enter not sure what to expect. Katniss is lying in the bed with the blanket pulled up to her chest. The only indication of any injury is the small bandage on the left side of her forehead.

"Is she going to be okay?" I look up the doctor.

"Miss Everdeen should be fine. She has a slight concussion. We gave her some morphling to dull the pain and help her rest."

I nod and gently take her hand in mine.

"We'll come back when she wakes up." The doctor pulls the door shut behind him as he exits the room.

Johanna stands by my side with her arms closed over her chest. She finally sighs and then hits me on my arm. When I look at her she says, "Well, lover boy, I think you should be able to manage the rest on your own. Besides I've had my fill of hospitals."

I watch Johanna make her way toward the door. "Wait," I say quietly and she turns around. I walk over and put my arms around her in a hug. I feel her body stiffen at my embrace. "Thanks for staying with me," I say softly.

"You're welcome," she says as she awkwardly pats my back a little with one hand.

"You're really a good person just a little tough to crack," I say as I release her.

She shrugs her shoulders as she mutters, "Don't go telling everyone I've gone soft. It will only happen this once." With that she walks out of the room.

I stand next to Katniss and stare down at her. I reach up with my good hand and brush a wisp of hair from her face. I feel a little relief, as she looks so serene.

I finally walk over to the chair in the corner and nearly collapse. Every muscle in my body is exhausted. "It has been a day I would hope to never live again," I think as I slowly nod off to sleep.


	31. Chapter 31

Katniss's POV

I wake up and find myself lying in a hospital bed. I start to sit up but feel a little lightheaded so I lay back down. I also have a headache. When I reach up to feel my head I wince in pain as I touch the bump as I try to remember what happened. The last thing I can recall is running from Sythe in the rain. And I remember falling. I must have hit my head.

I glance around the room and spot Peeta in the chair in the corner. He has a blanket tucked around his shoulders and seems to be sleeping soundly.

A nurse comes in to check on me. She smiles when she finds me with my eyes open. "Miss Everdeen, you have been out for some time. You must have hit your head pretty hard." I try to sit up but the nurse tells me to lie down and take things slow. "You will have to wait for the doctor to see you before you can be discharged." I lie down and let her check my pulse and the bump on my head. She says the swelling has really gone down. She then writes a few things on my chart and leaves.

After she is gone I sit up very slowly. Then I scoot off the bed and hold onto the edge for stability until I feel steady on my legs. I slowly make my way over to the mirror and look at the gash on my head. I should be fine; I've had much worse.

As I am standing at the mirror I hear a noise. "Psst."

"Psst," I hear again but a little louder this time.

I turn toward the noise and see Johanna standing at the door. She opens her eyes wide with a scowl and harshly points to the hall. She mouths the word "now" and glares at me. I questioningly stare at her, but do not move. She walks into the room and grabs me by the arm to pull me out in the hall.

"Owww. You don't have to be so rough."

"Shhh," Johanna covers my mouth and glares at me. "You don't have to let the whole hospital know you're awake." She looks around nervously.

"What is it with you?" I angrily whisper.

"I wanted to talk to you before he wakes up," Johanna whispers back as she quickly pokes her head in the room to make sure Peeta is still asleep. She then pushes me against the wall and holds me there. "Now you listen to me, Mockingjay. If you hurt that boy, so help me I will get you bad."

"How would I hurt Peeta?" I ask shaking my head with confusion.

"I mean like breaking his heart. I've heard how you played him in the first game." She gives me the evil eye and gets right up in my face. "Why that boy loves you like he does I certainly don't understand, and I won't stand by and let you hurt him."

"I still have no idea what you are talking about."

Johanna backs up a bit but still hisses angrily at me, "He went out in the pouring rain to look for you, knocked on the door until his knuckles were raw and bleeding, and then sat shivering in this hospital for hours refusing to leave cause you might need him. Only people like him do things like that. And I will not have you take advantage of him and then dump him like yesterday's garbage." She sticks her finger in my face. "I'm watching you," she says and then stalks off down the hall.

I stand frozen against the wall still trying to comprehend what she was talking about.

After a while I slowly sneak back in my room while keeping an eye in the direction Johanna went in case she comes back. I sit back down on the bed and try to sort out what Johanna said, but finally shake my head to clear it.

Peeta begins to stir in his chair. He opens his eyes, breathes in deeply, and stretches. I notice the bandage around his hand.

His eyes catch mine, and he smiles. "Katniss, you're awake." He pulls the blanket off his lap and walks over to me and hugs me tentatively. When he steps back he has a look of concern and asks, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." I answer him with an unsure tone. "What happened anyway?"

"I don't know everything, but when I found you, you were unconscious."

"Well, I feel fine except for this bump," I say reaching up to prod at my forehead, which makes me wince. "And the nurse said I could go when the doctor dismissed me."

"Good," is all Peeta has time to say when the doctor comes in.

"Good morning, Miss Everdeen. How are you feeling?"

"Fine," I answer as the doctor takes my pulse, looks at the bump on my head, and signs the paper on his clipboard.

"If you are feeling stable, you are free to leave." He smiles curtly and then exits.

"Good, let's get out of here," I sigh as I start to scoot to the edge of the bed.

"Are you sure you don't need to sit for just a bit?" Peeta asks as he folds up the blanket, which he neatly places on my bed. Peeta reaches for my hand as I ignore his question and stand. "I'm really glad you are okay. You really had me worried."

I turn and hug him. "Thanks for coming to find me and bringing me to the hospital."

"You know I'd do anything for you."

"I know," I say reaching up to give him a kiss. Then I turn and head for the door. "Come on. Let's go."

Just as we reach the hall an alarm starts going off, and over the intercom President Coin speaks, "We have just been informed that the Capitol is sending hovercrafts to bomb us. Everyone needs to head to their designated shelter area in an orderly fashion." The announcement is made several times and the alarm continues for another minute. Then there are just lights flashing up and down the hall.

"We better go," I say as I see other people leaving.

"How do we know where to go?" Peeta questions as I keep hold of his hand.

"Oh, that's right. You weren't here the last time." I pull Peeta to the side and try to explain. "Remember your last TV interview for the capitol when you warned us about the bombing?"

Peeta shakes his head no, "Not really. I was pretty infected then."

"Well, we went to the shelters then."

"Oh," Peeta says as I start leading him down the hall.

"Wait, Katniss, Peeta!" I hear my sister call from behind us. We both turn to look at her. She is standing in the hall with a little girl holding her hand. "I need your help. We have some children that need to be taken to the shelter but I really need to help with the sicker patients."

"We can take them, Prim," Peeta volunteers.

"Thanks," Prim says ducking back into the room. Peeta and I walk over. There are five kids in the room each on beds except for the girl still holding Prim's hand. "Katniss, this is Sapphire. Sapphire, this is my big sister Katniss. You hold her hand, okay?"

Sapphire looks at me tentatively with big, blue eyes but then cautiously walks over and takes my hand. She looks about five years old.

Prim moves to the first bed. "Peeta, this is Aspen. He has a broken arm but you can carry him piggyback.

"I get to ride!" shrieks the little boy as he begins to jump up and down on his bed.

"Aspen, sit down before you fall again," Prim reprimands. Aspen obeys but still almost shakes with excitement.

"This is Raven, Peeta," Prim pats the leg of the sullen girl with the long black hair in the next bed. "She was in an accident while escaping her district and lost her leg," Prim slowly pulls back the blanket revealing her leg which is cut off at the knee, "You will have to carry her."

Peeta smiles and waves but Raven just looks at us with her sad brown eyes. "Is she okay?" Peeta asks.

Prim shakes her head softly, "Her parents didn't make it and she hasn't spoken since she got here." Peeta nods. Even as Prim moves to the next bed Peeta keeps glancing back at Raven with sympathy.

"Katniss, this is Amber. She hit her head when she fell off her bed. She had a concussion like you, but is fine now. Just be careful of her forehead." The little one-year-old grabs onto my shirt when Prim hands her to me.

"And last but not least," Prim says while ruffling the blond at the end, "this is Pyke. He knows everything about Finnick. He's from district 4." Prim and the little boy both hold up four fingers at the same time.

"Pyke, you hold onto Sapphire's hand and don't let go. Okay?" Prim lifts him off the bed and Pyke smiles as he takes her hand. Sapphire smiles back at him. "I need to go. Do you think you can handle them all?" Prim asks as she looks at each child one more time.

"Yes, but where do we take them."

Prim stops to think this over. "Just go to Peeta's spot. I'll come find you when I get there."

"Okay," I call as Prim hurries out the door.

Peeta walks over to Aspen. "You ready."

"Yeah!" Aspen yells as he jumps toward Peeta.

Peeta barely gets turned around before Aspen is hanging onto his neck. "Can you hold on while I carry Raven?"

Aspen leans over Peeta's shoulder and is almost standing with his feet on Peeta's hips. "My dad calls me monkey. I can hang on for a really long time."

"Good," Peeta chuckles. He then walks over and tenderly picks up Raven.

I look down to make sure all of mine are ready as I hoist Amber up higher on my hip. The two holding hands smile up at me.

"She's my friend," Pyke says raising Sapphire's hand. Sapphire smiles softly and nods in agreement.

We head out into the now busy hallway.

Prim waves from the room she is in. She is helping one of the nurses get an elderly man in his wheelchair. "See you in a bit, Prim," I call since both hands are full.

Once we get out of the hospital wing we enter an even bigger, moving mass that is headed to the shelter. I constantly look behind me to make sure Pyke is still holding Sapphire's hand and that Peeta is keeping up with me. We walk down several flights of steps then through some big, iron doors.

Boggs is holding one door as he keeps a watchful eye on the masses to make sure there is no trouble. He nods to me and gives me a slight smile as I pass through the door.

Once inside I guide my group down the rows of beds. Some are already occupied while most are still empty. I keep walking until I find 427. Peeta looks at the number on the floor and then at the one bed up against the wall with partial walls coming out few feet on each side to infer you have privacy.

"Guess it will be nice a cozy." Peeta lets Aspen down on the bed then sets Raven down next to him.

"Did you see how long I held onto Peeta, Raven?" says Aspen as he sits down next to her with a big grin. Raven nods but does not smile back. Sapphire lets go of my hand and climbs on the bed by Aspen as Pyke climbs up next to her.

"Look at all these people," Pyke says shaking his head from side to side. "Are we all going to fit?"

"I'm sure there are plenty of beds." I pat his head as I set Amber on the bed then sit down on the floor and lean against the bed. Peeta joins me on the floor.

Without a word Sapphire crawls off the bed to sit in my lap and leans her head against my chest. I instinctively wrap my arms around her and pat her back rhythmically. She closes her eyes and yawns.

We can hear Pyke and Aspen behind us talking quietly with each other. I look back to see Amber and Raven both eyeing the ever increasing crowd.

After a while Aspen pokes his head in between Peeta and I. "I'm hungry. Can we have something to eat?"

Peeta looks at me with raised eyebrows, letting me answer. "Let me go see if I can find someone who knows." I hand the now sleeping Sapphire to Peeta and stand. I look down both ways and decide to walk toward the big iron doors hoping to find Boggs.

When I find him he tells me Greasy Sae and the other kitchen ladies are handing out food at the end of the next row of beds so I head in that direction.

Soon I find a line. "Is this the food line?" I ask the man in front of me.

"Yes."

I wait patiently till I reach Greasy Sae. "How many are in your group?"

"Seven."

She gives me a doubtful look.

"We're watching some kids from the hospital for Prim."

Greasy Sae nods and hands me a bag of rolls and a large wedge of cheese.

"Thanks," I reply as I turn to head back to our spot.

The line has grown as people are seeing others with food.

When I get close, I see Peeta is seated on the bed with Raven on one side and Aspen on the other. Sapphire and Pyke are sitting between his legs and he is cradling Amber in his arms. All eyes are on Peeta. As I get closer I can hear Peeta talking. He is telling the famous district 12 story of the miner who gets trapped in the mine but manages to find a stream that leads him out through a cave in the woods. None of the kids notice when I sit on the edge of the bed.

"Wow, is that true?" exclaims Aspen when Peeta is finished.

"Tell us another, please?" asks Pyke.

Peeta looks up and sees the rolls and cheese. "Maybe after we eat. Looks like Katniss found us some lunch."

All faces turn to me. "Yum, I wuv bwead," says Sapphire as I hand her a roll.

"Me too!" says Aspen as he holds out his hand.

After I give them each a roll I give them a chunk of cheese. Then I hand Peeta some of each too.

"Thanks, Katniss," Peeta says with a smile.

"Yeah, thanks, Katniss," Aspen echoes.

After we are finished with our food Peeta and I sit on the bed while the younger ones play on the floor. Raven sits next to Peeta and silently watches the others.

Pyke stops playing with the others and comes to the edge of the bed. He rolls a ball to Raven that he had in his pocket. She looks at it when the ball comes to a stop then looks back at Pyke. She reaches out her thin hand and rolls it back. Even though she does not smile she must like it because they roll the ball back and forth several times.

Aspen climbs and squeezes in the space between Peeta and Raven. He looks up at Peeta who is watching Raven with interest. "She is sad because she has one leg and can't play like us." he states matter-of-factly.

"She could get a new leg," Peeta says more to himself than to Aspen.

"How can she grow a new leg?"

"Not grow one, she can get a fake leg."

Aspen stares at Peeta with huge questioning eyes.

"I have a fake leg."

"Really?" Aspen says, "Can I see?"

Soon all the kids are watching with interest as Peeta pulls up his pant leg. "See. This is my real leg and here is where the fake part starts."

Aspen reaches over and touches Peeta's prosthetic leg. "Wow," he says and smiles.

"I want to feel," says Pyke as he reaches over. "Can you take it off?" Pyke is now very interested and has forgotten about the ball.

"If the doctors have to fix it." Peeta replies.

Aspen looks very thoughtful for a while then looks at Peeta. "Can you get Raven new parents too? She does not have them either."

Peeta glances at Raven with creased eyebrows and then back at Aspen as he shakes his head sadly. "You can't get new parents like that, but I wish you could. I lost my parents. They didn't make it out of my district either."

"Sorry, Raven," says Aspen as he softly pets her hand.

"But I do have friends that watch over me like family. Like Katniss." Peeta replies as he reaches over and takes my hand in his as he smiles at me. I smile back then look at Aspen. "Sometimes you have to become someone's family."

Aspen looks at Raven. "You can be my big sister. I don't like my little sister, but I like you."

Peeta chuckles quietly at this and squeezes my hand.

"I want a sister too." pipes up Pyke.

"Me too," joins in Sapphire.

Soon they are busy talking about different family members, all except Raven that is.

Amber stands next to the bed and tries to pull herself up and then starts to fuss. I lean over and pull her up with the rest of us. She finds a half eaten roll and begins to suck on it.

All of a sudden there is a loud boom and the lights flicker. Amber begins to cry and the other four kids look at us with frightened eyes. Peeta tenses and tightens his grip on my hand while glancing up at the ceiling.

I gently pull my hand from Peeta's so I can pick up Amber and hold her close. She still cries but not loudly. I cradle her in my arms and softly stroke her face while quietly singing the lullaby that I used to sing to Prim. I look down as I feel Aspen rest his head on my leg. Sapphire lays her head on Aspen's side. Raven takes hold of my arm on the other sides and leans against me. Pyke leans on her shoulder. I sing through all the verses.

When I am finished they are all resting peacefully. I look at Peeta who is smiling warmly. It is then at I feel other eyes on me. I look around to see other people close to us watching me with contented stares.

"Please sing some more. You have such a nice voice," says the elderly lady sitting across from us. I feel my cheeks blush, but I sing another song. The older lady's eyes twinkle.

She is about to speak again when another bomb goes off and this time the lights go out completely. There are many fearful gasps and shrieks. In the darkness I feel Sapphire, Raven, and Aspen grab onto either my arm or leg. I hold Amber close and stare into the darkness.

Finally after several long minutes the lights come back on. I look around to make sure everyone is okay. The older ones are all looking at me. Thankfully Amber is still asleep. Pyke is holding onto Raven's arm tightly. "Every one okay?" I ask. They all slowly nod even though their eyes are still as big as saucers. "Good," I reply and try to muster a smile.

"Wh-wh-where's Peeta?" Aspen says raising his head off my arm to look around.

I look to where Peeta was, but he is gone. My heart begins to race as I feel a rush of worry. My eyes begin to dart around. I can't see him anywhere and I can hardly leave the kids to go looking for him.

I finally see a mop of blond hair at the head of the bed. I slowly pull my arms away from the kids and lay Amber in Raven's arms. I climb off the bed and crouch next to Peeta. He has wedged his body between the wall and the bed. His knees are pulled to his chest with his arms tightly wrapped around them. He is staring at the floor and quietly mumbling to himself.

When I lean closer, I can hear him. "The capitol is coming. They're going to take me back. I don't want to go back. I don't want them to hurt me. They will inject more venom. Venom is bad. The capitol is bad. The capitol is coming…" He keeps repeating the same several sentences over and over.

"Peeta?" I whisper taking hold of his hand. He doesn't look at me but just keeps on mumbling. "Peeta, snap out of it." Nothing happens. I look up to see all four pairs of terrified eyes staring at me. I slowly stand to walk back to the children. They are all watching Peeta.

"What's wrong with Peeta?" Pyke questions when I return.

"I think he is having an episode."

"What's an ep-i-sode?" Aspen wonders.

I think for a bit then try to answer, "After our second games, Peeta was taken by the capitol. They did really bad things to him and sometimes he gets really scared when he remembers that." The kids are still confused. "It's like having a nightmare but you're awake."

They all nod whether they really get it or not and that's the best way I know how to explain it to them.

"When wiw he wake up?" Sapphire asks.

"I don't know" I answer as I run my hand down her soft pudgy cheek. All the kids look back at Peeta. Sapphire soon snuggles in my lap as I silently stare off while listening to Peeta continuing to mumble to himself.

I am brought out of my haze when I hear a soft unfamiliar voice. "Peeta, please come back. We need you." I look toward the voice and then blink in surprise. The voice is Raven. She is on the floor in front of Peeta. She is cupping his cheeks in her hands as tears stream down her face. She continues to talk to him while her bottom lip trembles. "I want you to teach me to walk. I want you to be my family."

She easily pulls his arms from his knees and wiggles her way into his lap. She then hugs her arms around his neck and cries against his cheek.

I see his arms enclose around her like he did to me when he slowly came out of his trance like state. His eyes seem to focus even more as he rubs her back. "Shhh. Everything is alright." Raven looks up into Peeta's warm blue eyes. Then for the first time I see her smile then she continues to cry but hugs him tightly. Peeta hugs her back and holds her securely. I see tears building in his eyes and feel them in mine as well. Mine are tears of relief.

Soon Peeta stands with some difficulty as he keeps hold of Raven. He joins us back on the bed settling her on his lap. She leans against his chest as his arms are still around her.

"I'm glad you're back, Peeta," Pyke says softly from his place on my lap.

"Me too," I say smiling as curl my arm in his, and lean my head on his strong shoulder. Peeta rests his head on mine. Aspen crawls over Peeta's legs so he can lean on Peeta's other arm. Sapphire is snuggled at my side and Amber is curled up by Pyke's feet.

I feel warm and comforted as I allow my eyes to close, and slowly drift off to sleep. Even though I don't know what time it is, I am completely drained from all that has happened.

**Is it really sad that I got teary eyed when writing the part between Raven and Peeta? My beta said she thinks this might be my best chapter yet:)**


	32. Chapter 32

**Sorry it took so long to update. I had some writer's block and got caught up in reading City of Bones. It is a really good book if you are looking for something to read;)**

I am awakened by a slight tug on my shirt. My eyes slowly open and I look over to see Aspen sitting between Peeta and I. "When is dinner? My tummy is growling." I look around at other people.

"I don't know. Maybe I should go ask Greasy Sae."

"Can I come with you? I'm tired of sitting on the bed."

"Sure" I carefully maneuver my leg over Pyke who is still sleeping. Peeta stirs a bit and opens his eyes when I let go of his arm and slide off the bed.

"Katniss, where are you going?" he says in a groggy whisper.

"I'm checking on dinner. Aspen is coming with me." Peeta nods. "Are you feeling okay?" I ask remembering what had happened right before we all fell asleep. Peeta smiles a little and then nods. "Good," I reply as I smile back. I look around and see Aspen waiting patiently. "Ready?" He smiles as I take his hand.

Just as I am starting to walk away I hear a small whimper. Amber is watching us with little tears in her eyes. I let go of Aspen's hand and hold out my arms to her. She immediately holds out her hands. I pick her up and set her on one hip and then take hold of Aspen again. "I guess I am taking Amber too." I shrug back at Peeta. He nods as his eyes slowly shut.

I walk over to where the food line had been before. There is a good amount of people now so I follow the long strand until I find the end.

As we wait in line both Aspen and Amber seem content to watch the people all around. I am beginning to zone out when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn to see Finnick and Annie behind me.

"What's up, Fire Girl?" Finnick says with his usual large smile.

"Not much."

"Who are these two? You didn't tell me you had kids."

I roll my eyes. "This is Aspen and Amber."

"Hey, kid," Finnick says as he ruffles Aspen's brown hair.

"Hi. Are you going to get dinner too?"

"I hope so. I'm starved."

"Me too!" says Aspen rubbing his tummy.

I glance at Annie who is clinging tightly to Finnick's arm. "How are you, Annie?"

"Fine," she answers in no more than a small whisper.

"This big of a crowd and the loud noises are not helping," Finnick adds. I am sure by loud noises he means the bombs.

"Yeah, Peeta was pretty shook up by them too."

"Hey, speaking of, where is Lover Boy anyway?"

"He stayed with the others."

"There are more rug rats?"

"Five all together."

"Wow, you guys in district 12 are like rabbits." I roll my eyes and turn to face the front of the line.

"Why are you like rabbits?" Aspen asks looking up at me.

"No reason. He's just being strange," I answer, as I really do not want to try and explain it to him. I ignore Finnick's remarks as we slowly move up in line. Finally we get to Greasy Sae and she hands us a bag of oranges and a bag of sandwiches. "Can you hold these?" I say holding the bag of sandwiches toward Aspen.

"Uh huh."

I keep hold of it until I know he is not going to drop it. I then take hold of his other hand.

As I begin to walk away I hear Finnick. "Hey, Fire Girl, can we join your group for dinner? It's kind of boring in our area."

"Sure, I guess, as long as you don't mind us rabbits," I say smiling.

"We are not rabbits," Aspen pipes up.

"I know."

"Then why did you say we are rabbits?"

As we walk back to our spot I could hear Finnick chortling while I try to explain to Aspen why I said rabbits. I am still sure he has no idea what I meant. He lets go of my hand as soon as we get back and goes over to sit by Raven. Peeta is tossing Pyke's ball back and forth with Pyke and Sapphire.

"Dinner is here," I announce as I plop on the bed. "And I brought guests."

Finnick waves and Annie just smiles sweetly. "Mind if we join you?" Finnick looks at Peeta.

"No, the more the merrier."

Finnick and Annie sit on the ground next to the bed.

I look over to see Pyke staring at Finnick with very wide eyes. He then looks up at me while tugging on my sleeve. I glance down at him. "Can I sit by him?" he whispers as he points to Finnick.

"Sure."

He takes hold of his sandwich and orange, one in each hand, and slides off the edge of the bed. Without a word, he sits by Finnick. I smile as he watches Finnick with such awestruck admiration.

Finnick looks down at him and smiles. "Hey, kid." Pyke doesn't say a word but he smiles from ear to ear. As we all eat, I see Finnick glance every once in a while over at Pyke who silently copies every thing he does. Finnick looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

"That's Pyke. He's from your district, and you're his hero."

Finnick smiles down at Pyke. "Is that a good sandwich?" Pyke nods.

When everyone is done, I collect all the peels and send Pyke to put the bag in the trash that has been set out.

"Now what can we do? I'm bored," says Aspen.

"You can play with the ball," I suggest and shrug.

"But we already did that," Pyke says with a little pout.

I look at Peeta. "I don't know?"

He looks at Finnick for suggestions who rubs his chin thoughtfully. "When I was young I always liked races."

"I like races," says Pyke. "But where can we do it? There is no where to run."

Finnick leans back past the walls of our area. "You could run down the aisle."

"How do we know where to stop?"

"Let's see." Finnick stands and walks down the row followed by three kids. He soon returns but from the other direction. "The race can start and end back here. You have to run all the way around."

"I want to go," says Aspen.

"Me too!" says Pyke jumping up and down.

"Okay, but Aspen you go that way, and Pyke you run the other way." Both nod their heads to show they understand. "Are you ready?" Both boys hunch down in starting position. "Go!" Finnick shouts. Both boys take off. Peeta and I both stand to watch. We see many heads poke out between walls to see what is going on. Both boys disappear from sight for just a bit, and reappear on opposite sides. Finnick holds out his hands for them to tag. Aspen is able to beat Pyke just by a foot or two.

"Again! Again!" they both shout as soon as they finish.

Finnick gets them ready but has to hold onto the back of their shirts to keep them both from starting too early. "Ready, set, go," he says and lets go of their shirts. The boys race many times.

"I want a turn," says Sapphire.

"Okay," Finnick nods. "Aspen you go against Sapphire."

Pyke runs over to the bed and jumps up between Peeta and I. "Did you see how fast I am?"

"We sure did. You are super fast," Peeta encourages as ruffles his hair.

The three continue to race while Raven and Annie play with Amber in the corner near the bed.

After many tries, Sapphire plops down on the ground. "I never win. I'm too small." Her lower lip begins to poke out.

"It's okay," Peeta reaches over to pull her onto the bed. "I was never that fast either."

The boys are too busy to notice. Finnick starts them on another race.

When they get back, Finnick looks over at Sapphire, who is still pouting. "Try once more. Maybe you will win this time." I am not sure what he is up to but he swings her off the bed and is able to convince her to try again. I can see a twinkle in his eye as he takes hold of both shirts to get them ready. "Ready?" They both nod their heads vigorously. "Go." Both Sapphire and Pyke take off.

When they get part way down the aisle Finnick takes off after Sapphire. I hear her shriek as Finnick scoops her up into his arms and continues to run. "Hey," we hear a surprised Pyke shout as he meets up with Finnick and Sapphire at the turn. We see Finnick round the one corner and soon see Pyke come around the other.

Sapphire is grinning wildly as she and Finnick easily get back first. "I won," she says grinning and hugging Finnick.

"You sure did."

"That was not fair," Pyke complains as he plops down out of breath.

"My turn. My turn," Aspen says as he jumps up and down next to Finnick.

"No, me!" Pyke immediately forgets he is angry and jumps up.

"See what you started," I laugh from the bed as Finnick stands there with three kids jumping around his feet.

"I can only carry one of you at a time."

"Me this time." Finnick gets them ready and carries Pyke first then does it again with Aspen.

After the fifth time Finnick collapses on the floor. "I'm getting too old for this," he gasps. Peeta and I laugh as the kids all pull on his arms trying to get him off the floor. "My turn," they are all saying at the same time.

Aspen suddenly looks over at Peeta. "You can race too. Pleeeease!" he asks as he runs over and pulls on Peeta's hand.

"I don't know," Peeta looks a little leery.

"Oh, come on. Are you chicken?" pants out Finnick from the floor with a big smirk.

Peeta looks down at Finnick and raises one eyebrow. "Is that a challenge?" Peeta asks as he slides to the edge of the bed.

"You bet it is. Bring it, Lover Boy," Finnick responds as he sits up.

"You're on," Peeta says as he reaches down to pull Finnick off the ground. Each one swings one of the little boys up on their backs.

"Sapphire, you say go," says Finnick as he leans over to get ready.

"No cheating," says Peeta pointing his finger at Finnick.

"Meee? Never," Finnick tries to fake an innocent expression. "You just say that because you're afraid you're going to loose."

Both glance at each other intently than focus on their side. "Go!" squeals out Sapphire. The guys both take off with the excited boys bouncing up and down on their backs. Both disappear and reappear immediately running as fast as they can.

I grab Sapphire and fall back on the bed, as neither seems to show any signs of stopping. I pull my legs up as they both fly around the walls and come crashing down on the bed on either side. Both are howling with laughter as the boys on their backs are excitedly saying they won. "You guys are crazy," I announce as I look from one red face to the other. They both smile widely and collapse face down on the bed.

"Again! Again!" shout the two boys.

As the guys still try to catch their breath, the announcement is made that lights will be turned off in thirty minutes.

"I guess that is our cue to head back to our bed. See you all in the morning." Finnick helps Annie up and they walk down the row of beds.

"Are all the kids sleeping with us?" Peeta asks.

"I guess," I say with a shrug.

We are trying to figure out where everyone will fit on the bed when Prim comes over. "Sorry I didn't come sooner, but there were a lot of patients to take care of."

"You're fine. We were having a good time."

"So I heard. I could hear the kids yelling and I saw them running past. I also saw Finnick and Peeta." I glance over at Peeta, who is turning red. "That's okay. It gave the rest of us something to do." Prim smiles sweetly.

"So where is everyone going to sleep?" I ask Prim.

"Well, all but Raven can sleep with their families. I know where they are all are."

"I don't want to leave," pouts Aspen.

"Me either," joins in Pyke.

"How about you go sleep with your parents and then you can come back in the morning," suggests Peeta.

"Okay," they both concede.

"Katniss, can you help bring them?"

"Sure." I pick up Amber and take Pyke's hand. Prim takes Sapphire and Aspen's hand.

"I'll be back for Raven. Okay, Peeta?"

"Yeah. That's fine." Peeta lifts Raven to sit on the bed with him to wait.

I say good night as we drop each child off.

When we get back to our spot, Peeta and Raven are playing "Rock, Paper, Scissors." "Are you ready?" Prim asks. "There is a bed for you at the hospital area."

Raven looks up at Peeta with her big brown eyes. She still does not really speak but hopefully that will come later. "Do you want me to take you?" Peeta offers. She nods her head.

Peeta gently picks her up and carries her, following Prim to some beds that are marked for hospital patients. He gently sets her down and kisses her forehead. "I'll come get you in the morning."

"Promise?" she whispers looking up at him with sad brown eyes.

He smiles reassuringly and strokes her hair. "I promise."

She lies down and yawns. "Good night," we both say at the same time. Peeta tucks the covers around her and we wave to her as we walk away. We also wave to Prim who is sitting next to an elderly woman.

We head back to Peeta's bed. "Maybe I should go find our spot. I don't know what people will think if we both sleep together." I look around a bit at all the people who are getting ready for bed.

Peeta glances around too, and then looks at me. "Please don't leave. I'll sleep on the floor. I don't want to be alone."

I smile slightly and pat his cheek. "In case you haven't noticed. You are anything but alone."

Peeta looks at me with a sheepish grin. "You know what I mean."

I look into his blue eyes and see a slight tinge of apprehension. "At least let me tell mom good night." Peeta nods.

I walk down the row of beds and follow the numbers until I come to our room number. Mom is sitting on one of the beds talking to the lady across from her. She looks up and smiles. "Hi, Katniss. Still babysitting?"

"Nope. They are all with their parents for the night."

"Good. You and Peeta need a break even though I'm sure you had fun." She pats the bed, so I sit. Mom finishes her conversation then turns her attention back to me. "How is Peeta?"

"Great, he loves the kids, but the bombing really shook him up. He wants me to stay with him tonight. Is that alright?"

"Of course." She pats my leg. "I have to take a shift with the hospital patients in a bit anyway and Prim is already there."

"I know. We saw her." I stand. "Good night," I say as I lean over and kiss her cheek. She gives me a hug.

I can hear mom talking to the other lady as I head back to Peeta. He is already lying on a blanket that he folded up on the floor.

"Peeta, this is your spot. You can't sleep on the floor."

"Too late," he says grinning up at me.

"It can't be that comfortable."

"I'm fine. I've slept in much worse places," he raises his eyebrows.

"Okay." I lay down on the bed but not under the sheet. I must be tired because it does not take long for me to fall asleep.

I'm not sure what woke me, maybe the baby close by. I sit up and look around. Even with the main lights out there are still emergency lights that give off a dull glow. I notice there are a few people moving around quietly.

I suddenly notice that Peeta is gone. I stand up and peek around the walls that separate us from the next people. I see no sign of Peeta. I want to call out his name but know that I can't or I will wake everyone up. Where would he have gone?

I can't sleep now, so I just start quietly walking up and down the rows of beds. Everyone is sleeping.

I have walked down three rows when I come to the huge iron door that we entered to get in. One of the captains is sleeping against the wall. I almost just walk on but then I notice the door is ever so slightly cracked open. I push the door just a bit then freeze and look down at the guard. He doesn't move. I push the door open slowly until I can get out then I push it shut except for the little crack.

It is the same dull glow out in the hall, but it seems creepier since there is no one else around. I walk down to the first hallway. I am not even sure that Peeta came out here. My nerves tell me to go back.

"Peeeeeta?" I whisper, not that it was loud enough for anyone to hear.

I keep walking past more deserted halls.

"Peeta?" I say again but in hushed voice. I listen for a bit but don't hear anything.

I have turned down a few halls and am feeling very jumpy. I am just about to retrace my steps back when I hear a noise coming from the next hall. I silently pad over to the corner and peek around it.

I see a figure slumped against the wall. The blond hair is a dead give away. Part of me wants to call out his name and run to him, but the other part fears that he might be having an episode. I decide to cautiously walk over to him.

His head is down against his arms that are resting on top of his knees. I kneel down next to him. "Peeta?" I whisper and barely touch his arm. I can feel the tenseness in my body as I wait to see how he will react. He doesn't move at first so I shake his arm just a bit.

He slowly lifts his head and looks at me. His expression says he is not sure if I am real or not. "Katniss?" he says shakily.

I nod. "Peeta, what are you doing out here?"

"They're gone, Katniss. They're all gone," he mumbles.

"Who's gone?"

"Everyone. The capitol got them all." His face is sad and a tear trickles down his cheek.

I take his shoulders. "Peeta, no one is gone. Everyone is in the shelter." I look deep into his sullen blue eyes. "Remember we all went to the shelter because of the bombs." Peeta still has a blank look of not understanding. "Come on. I'll show you." I gently take his hand and pull him up.

Then I slowly lead him back to the huge iron door. It is still open a crack. I pull it open and silently guide him inside and then shut it. The guard continues to sleep.

After we get a few yards from the door I point to all the beds filled with people. "See everyone is in here." Peeta glances around at all the people. I still can't tell if anything is registering so I lead him back to his bed.

"Here lay down." I try to direct him to lie down.

"But what if they come? What if they come back for the rest of us?" I feel his hand tighten around mine.

I sit on the bed and he sits down next to me. "Peeta, they didn't take anyone. We're all here. You must have had a nightmare. You need to rest."

I push myself back so I can lean against the wall. "Lay your head on my lap. I'll keep watch if it will make you feel better."

Peeta slowly lowers his head down to rest on my leg. He pulls up his legs so they don't hang off the end of the bed, but he does not close his eyes.

I slowly run my fingers down his face to try to help him relax. When that does not work I sing softly the same lullaby I sang this afternoon.

Finally I see his eyes close and his breathing evens out. I fight to keep my eyes open until I know that he is asleep. Then I carefully lift his head and place the pillow where my legs were. I then lie down on the blanket still on the floor and quickly fall asleep.


	33. Chapter 33

My eyes slowly open when my mind begins to let in the sounds around me. I hear people up and moving around. I sit up and look around. My stomach growls as I watch the man across from us take a bite of a biscuit.

He smiles at me and then says, "Breakfast is being served."

"Thanks," I smile back. Peeta is still sleeping soundly on the bed.

I stand and stretch to work out the stiffness in my back, and then I walk down the rows of beds until I find the food line. Most have already come, I discern from the short line. I wonder what time it is as I glance around, but there are no clocks.

"How many?" asks Challah who is handing out breakfast.

"Seven…wait I mean two," I catch myself. I am used to having the kids to look after.

As I shuffle back to our spot I am almost knocked over. I stumble back a few steps then look down to see a small face smiling up at me.

"Sapphire, come back, honey," I hear a sweet voice behind me. I turn to see a petite woman with brown hair and blue eyes that are almost identical to Sapphires.

I scoop Sapphire up in my arms and walk to the woman. "Is this your mom?"

Sapphire grins big and spreads out her arms. "Mommy," she squeals and leans over my arms.

The small woman grabs hold and swings her into a big hug. "Sorry. She couldn't wait to see you when she woke up. She's been asking where you and Peeta are."

"That's alright. We really bonded yesterday." I ruffle Sapphire's hair a bit and then follow her mom down a few beds.

She sits down next to a man of similar size with the same brown color of hair. Sapphire pulls herself onto his lap by grabbing his shirt and pulling on it until her mother lets go. "I'm Emerald and this is Jade, my husband. Thank you so much for watching over Sapphire." They both look at me and then lovingly back at their daughter.

"I'm glad I could help," I smile back.

"Can I go with Katniss?" Sapphire looked up at her dad.

"I think you should stay here with us, honey. She hasn't even had breakfast yet."

"Okay," Sapphire says but her lower lip starts to protrude.

"Hey, no pouting or the tickle monster will come get you." Sapphire's dad wiggles his fingers just above her belly and looks down at her. She begins to giggle in anticipation before her dad's hand even touches her. All three are laughing when I head back down the rows of beds.

Peeta is sitting up and looking around with half closed eyes. "I got breakfast." I hold up the biscuits.

After we finish eating, Peeta heads to the hospital area to pick up Raven as he promised. He returns promptly with Raven in his arms and Aspen holding onto his back pocket. "I brought back an extra," he says with a grin.

Aspen lets go of Peeta's pocket and races to climb on the bed next to me. "I had to sleep with my little sister last night. She kept kicking me," he said matter-of-factly.

I was just about to say something when we hear President Coin's voice over the intercom. "The radar has not picked up any signals from capitol hovercrafts since the bombing so I am issuing an all clear. You will be free to go back to your rooms and return to your usual schedules in one hour. However there was some damage to the first floor and to the surrounding outside areas, so those areas are off limits until restorations are complete. All soldiers are to report to floor one after lunch to begin clean up. That is all."

Everyone is silent for a long while but then the soft murmur of people talking starts back up. The kids find Pyke's ball that had been lost under the bed and begin rolling it back and forth to each other.

After a while Aspen's father comes to get him. He is a rather large man with big biceps, which clearly indicate he has wielded an ax many times, a common identifying feature of district 7 men. "Time to go, buddy. We have to get our things back to our room before I head to my shift on guard duty."

"But I want to play," Aspen whines.

"Aspen," his dad looks at him with firm but loving eyes, "You can play later, but we need to go. Maybe if you help your mom, you can play with your friends after lunch."

"Okay." Aspen reluctantly reaches up his small hand that is soon engulfed by his father's large hand.

"Thanks for taking good care of him." His father waves at us with one hand as he swings Aspen up in the air with the other. We hear Aspen laugh with glee as they make their way down past other people.

As they drift out of sight I finally figure out where I have seen Aspen's father before. He is one of the guards that lets me in and out of the gate when I hunt.

As time goes on people all around can be seen folding up their blankets and gathering up pillows to be deposited in large laundry bins that are stationed at intervals along the rows. I'm sure that several people will be assigned the job of washing and returning all of them to their proper places. Because of my loathing for washing laundry, I am suddenly very glad that I will be helping to clean up the damaged area.

As I deposit our bedding in the bin near our spot, I see Prim heading over. She is smiling but I can see the tiredness in her posture and the dark circles under her eyes as she stops by my side. "Good morning," I say as I give her a hug.

"Morning," she counters as she stifles a yawn. "Katniss," she says as she follows me back to our area. That is usually the tone she uses when she needs to ask me a favor.

"Yes?" I turn to look at her.

"Can you and Peeta help take patients back to the hospital? The more help we have, the fewer trips we will have to make."

I look at her with a contemplanive look as I pretend to think hard about my answer. I can see her bite her lip and her eyes almost pleading as she waits for my answer. "Prim," I give her an annoyed look and pop her lightly on the arm, "Of course we'll help. Don't look so worried."

She sighs and smiles weakly. "Why couldn't you just say so, instead of making me wait?"

"Cause she likes to see people sweat," comes a reply. I look toward the voice that I recognize. I knew I would see Finnick. He is about five feet away with Annie in tow behind him. "We can help too, if you want."

"That would be great. We'll wait until the crowd has died down before we go. If you just want to come over to the hospital area when they start letting people out, that would be good."

As Prim disappears, Finnick nonchalantly follows me back to our bed. Peeta is talking quietly to Raven.

As Annie comes around the corner I notice a particular blond boy is holding her other hand. "Raven!" I hear him squeal excitedly. Pyke lets go of Annie's hand and rushes over to throw his arms around Raven, who has a startled look. But her face quickly brightens at the embrace. From Pyke's enthusiasm you would have thought it had been weeks since they had last seen each other rather than hours.

"I didn't know Pyke was with you."

"Yeah, the little urchin just kind of latched on." Finnick replied while gazing at him with a smile. "He kind of grows on you, but I have to say it was a little weird waking up to a little face only inches away from my own."

"How did he find you?"

"Turns out, his family was only two beds down from us."

"I see."

We sat around talking for a bit waiting for the hour to pass before we were released. When the announcement was made that the doors would be opened in ten minutes, Finnick, Annie, and Pyke headed back to their section. "We'll see you at the hospital area," called back Finnick.

Peeta, Raven, and I make our way over to where we are to meet Prim as people began to file out. Peeta left Raven in the care of a nurse who had worked with her a lot. She was nearly brought to tears when Raven greeted her with a "Hello" and big hug. Peeta and I both smiled. "We'll come see you later, okay?" Peeta said hugging her before we find Prim.

We find her busily assigning people to the patients they will help. By this time Finnick and Annie have joined us. Peeta and Finnick are told to help push patients who are bedridden. I am assigned to wheelchairs. Annie walks beside a little old man who waddled slowly using a cane. It would have annoyed me to walk that slow but as I passed them on my return trip Annie seemed quite happy to let him hold her arm and listen to him jabber on about district 10.

It took about 10 trips back and forth to get all the patients back to the hospital. The time had gone by quickly.

Once we were done, we walked down to the cafeteria for lunch. It was good to sit with our usual group since we had not seen Haymitch, Gale, or Johanna at all during the bombing. Johanna complained about the little boy across the way from her who kept making faces at her.

"What did you do?" asked Finnick.

"I just made faces right back," Johanna shrugged. "At least it gave me something to do to pass the time."

Gale said he played cards with some old men from our district that he used to sell rabbits to at the hob.

Haymitch said he slept through most of it since this was the most down time he had had in a long time. Obviously there was no meeting he had to attend since we were all together in one large area.

After lunch Finnick took Annie back to their room and Haymitch headed off to communications while the rest of us headed up to the first floor to begin clean up.

Once everyone is accounted for, we are divided into our usual training teams. Each team is assigned a certain area to clean. About half of the groups are taken outside. This includes my group, Peeta's, Gale's, and some others.

Our first job is to pile up all the fallen branches and trees. There is not much talking as we clean up. Everyone is busy and off in their own thoughts. As I head to a large fallen tree I notice Johanna struggling with a branch that is too long. "Here, let me help you."

"Thanks," she grunts as we carry it to the pile.

After we drop it on the pile Johanna and I head over to the water jugs to get a drink. She just stands and stares while sipping the water slowly. I look over in the direction to see what caught her attention. Then I see them.

"Look at those lazy jerks," she growls.

"Yup," I reply while watching Sythe and his buddies goofing off behind one of the piles of tree limbs.

"That big one makes me want to vomit," she says putting her pointer finger to her mouth and making a gagging sound.

"Why?"

Johanna's eyes narrow into little slits, "Because he always seems like he is staring at me like he is undressing me with his eyes. What a scum bag."

"Yeah," I agree, "He's also the one that beat up Peeta so bad."

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Did he ever get punished for that?"

"No," I mutter under my breath.

"Why not? I got kitchen duty for a week for trying to sneak a biscuit out of the cafeteria," she says bitterly.

"Because Boggs said there was no proof that it was him."

"Well, other people saw it. Didn't they?"

"Yeah, but no one will come forward."

"Then they need to ask him about it."

"Right. Like he would admit it, Johanna," I retort while rolling my eyes.

"You could make him admit it." She glances over in my direction out of the corner of her eye.

"And how do you suggest we do that?"

As I watch Johanna think, I see a sudden gleam in her eyes. "Oh, I have my ways." She begins to chuckle quietly to herself. I look at her with raised eyebrows. "I know how to make people admit to things." Johanna smiles devilishly and rubs her hands together. "I've even made people admit to things they didn't even do."

The look in her eyes is beginning to creep me out a little. "What are you thinking, Johanna?"

"Just wait and see, Fire Girl. Wait and see."

We continue to clean up. All the while Johanna gets this sinister grin and chuckles every time she catches sight of Sythe. I hope she really does have a good plan.

After we are dismissed, I meet up with Peeta. We are heading back to his room when Johanna comes up to us. "Hi, Peeta. I need to borrow your girlfriend," Johanna smiles trying to look innocent.

"Okay?" Peeta says with a questioning look.

Johanna grabs onto my arm and roughly pulls me down the hall. "Come on. Move it, Fire Girl."

"What are we doing?" I protest by stopping abruptly to yank my arm free and begin to rub where Johanna had been gripping.

"Going to see Beetee. We're gonna need his help with a few things if we are going to make Sythe admit what he did."

Johanna turns on her heels and walks briskly down the hall. I run to catch up and follow just behind her as we head to the elevator and down to special weapons.


	34. Chapter 34

Johanna's POV

I spent my morning down in the basement with Beetee and Gale. They were both pretty eager to help me with my plan for revenge on Sythe.

"We need to hook up a microphone somewhere in my room so that when he admits what he did Boggs will hear it without being in the room."

"That should be easy, Johanna. I've done much more complicated work."

"Well, then get to it four-eyes." Beetee just rolls his eyes at me and wanders over to an area where wires are everywhere. I chat some with Gale while Beetee works. I stay down there until lunch.

Gale and I head up to the cafeteria to meet up with our usual group. Peeta comes in late with little Raven. She is using crutches, which Peeta says she will use until her prosthetic leg is ready. Peeta stays close as they head over since she looks a little wobbly.

After lunch, we are supposed to meet with our training groups to finish up the cleanup. For the first time I smile when I see Sythe as I think of the plan I have for him. When I tell Boggs my plan we argue for a while before I convince him that my plan will work. He finally says we can proceed but makes me promise that no one, which means Sythe, will be hurt.

When we are dismissed I grab Katniss before she can escape off with Peeta, which she does so often. "Come on, Fire Girl. We need to go over the plan."

"Let me tell Peeta that I am going with you."

"Okay. But _don't_ tell him what we are doing. He would never let us do it. He's too forgiving." I roll my eyes and shake my head a bit. Some people are just too good for their own good, and sad to say it but Peeta is one of them.

Katniss agrees and then runs off to meet Peeta.

When she comes back, we head down to see how Beetee is doing. Gale informs us that Beetee is up in my room right now installing the microphone, so we hurry upstairs.

When we get to my room, I notice that the door next to it is open slightly. It's weird cause I'm pretty sure that room is empty. I walk over to check it out and slowly push the door open.

It bumps something and I jump slightly when I hear, "Hey, don't do that."

I peek around the door to find Beetee crouched in the corner. "What are you doing down there? You're supposed to be installing a microphone in my room."

Beetee stands up and pushes his glasses up on his nose to look at me. "I already did and now I am wiring it into here. Boggs can't be standing out in the hall when you come to your room, so I figure he could be in this room listening."

"Oh…. Well, good work. Carry on." I slap Beetee on the back, which almost makes his glasses fall off. "Sorry," I mutter as I reach up to straighten his glasses.

"I'm fine, Johanna," Beetee says batting at my hands.

"I'll just be going then." I point to the door while Beetee stands there giving me "the look" with his bony hands on his skinny hips. I slip out of the room to leave Beetee to finish his work and hurry over to my room to go over the plan with Katniss.

After training is over and most people have left, I gaze around to find Sythe and his buddies over by the weights. I run my fingers through my hair, which is now almost shoulder length and put on my most seductive smile. Then I walk over in their direction.

"My, my look at those muscles," I say as I approach the group of boys. All heads turn in my direction and they part to clear a path to the center where Sythe is lying on the bench.

I walk up to the bench and put my hand on the bar for holding the weights as Sythe looks up at me and pushes up the weight again. I notice the bulging veins in his arm muscles that indicate the strain of the weight even though the look on his face makes it seem that it is nothing for him to lift that much. _Show off,_ I think in my head but instead I say, "I like a man who can bench press his own weight," as I lean over to look into Sythe's eyes.

He wiggles his eyebrows and gives me a grin as his buddies put on another twenty pounds. He grunts a little as he pushes up. I see the ripple in his chest muscles. "Nice." I take a step back as he puts the weights down.

He sits up and stretches his shoulders and arms. "So to what do we owe this visit?" he says as he stands leaving only a little space between us.

I can see Sythe's eyes scanning up and down my body. It almost makes me want to turn around and walk away or slap his face, because trust me I've seen that look in men's eyes before. But instead I push out my chest "Oh, I was just finishing up and _you_ caught my eye," I say tilting my head slightly and looking at him. "So I thought I would come over and say, 'hi'," "Hi," I seductively whisper as I reach up and run a finger to down the center of his chest.

"Hell-o to you," Sythe replies as the corners of his mouth begin to curl up. Then he glances up at his friends still standing around. He puts his arm around my shoulders as he says, "Why don't you guys leave us alone. I'll see you at breakfast."

When no one moves I make a shooing motion. "See ya." They all saunter off with one occasionally glancing over his shoulder.

When the guys are out of ear shot Sythe pulls me closer so that my arm brushes against his sweaty body. "So what did you have in mind?"

"Something," I wiggle my eyebrows, "but not here."

"Well then, by all means, lead the way," he says motioning with his free arm. With his arm still around me we head toward the door. We walk down the hall and stop at the elevator. My body stiffens slightly when I feel his hand slide from my shoulder down my arm and come to rest on my waist.

The doors open so I walk in and he follows close behind. I turn to push to button then step back a few feet and stand silently facing the door. Sythe steps in front of me and places his hands on both of my hips. I look up into his steely gray eyes and see the desire. I suddenly get an uneasy feeling in my stomach and have to fight the urge to punch him in the gut, instead I smile then look up at the numbers that are slowly changing.

He suddenly pulls me closer so that our bodies are touching. I try to ignore the urge to push him away because I know I have to keep up the charade to make the plan work. "I like the silent but strong type," he whispers leaning down so his lips are almost touching mine and I can feel his hot breath.

"Hold on, Tiger," I say as I put my hand on his chest and push him back a bit. "Let's wait until we get to my room."

His eyes narrow and his lips curve up slightly. "Okay," he whispers as the elevator dings and the door slides open. Sythe's hands drop from my hips as he moves to the side to let me walk in front of him. I sway my hips a little more than is normal as I hear him following close behind.

"Here we are," I say as I stop at a door and fish in my pocket for the key. I hope Boggs is in the other room but there is no way of knowing. I pull out my key and unlock the door.

As we walk into the room we find Katniss sitting on her bed with her arms crossed. Sythe's whole body tenses. Katniss looks at Sythe and then at me. "Hi, roomie," she says.

"What is she doing here?" Sythe questions with a slight catch in his voice.

"I thought we could have a three-some."

"With her? I don't think she likes me." Sythe has a concerned look in his eyes.

"Oh, but it will be fun," I try to sound reassuring. "Besides you aren't still haboring hard feelings for that paintball fight are you?"

He looks over at Katniss who just gives him a little wave and a smile. "I guess not."

"Good then let's get comfortable," I walk over and kick off my shoes, then I go sit on my bed and Katniss comes to join me. "Right here, big boy," I smile and pat the bed between us.

He still looks a little unsure but comes anyway. He sits down cautiously looking slowly back and forth at us. We both smile like two little school girls.

Once he seems more at ease I reach over and begin to remove his shirt. "I love a man with a six pack. Don't you, Katniss?"

"Uh huh," she says rubbing her hands on his abs. I see Sythe relax as he leans back on his hands. I crawl onto his lap and kneel on my knees. I see a spark in his eyes as a smile begins to grow in anticipation.

I push him so he slowly leans back until he is laying on the bed and I lean in really close as if to kiss him. He licks his lips and lets out a little grunt. When my lips are inches from his, I move and whisper in his ear, "I want…"

"Yes," he huffs out.

"you…" I feel his body tremble and tighten. "to admit that you beat up Peeta." I sit up slowly as I see confusion slowly creep up over his face.

"What?" he questions.

"I said I want to you to admit that you beat up Peeta."

I get off him as his confusion slowly turns to suspicion as he squints his eyes at me, "And why would I do that?"

Katniss who is now standing next to the bed speaks up, "If not we are going to turn you into an avox."

"What is an avox?" Sythe's face becomes tight with a mixture of both anger and confusion.

"You don't know what an avox is?"

"No, why would I?"

Katniss narrows her eyes as she takes a step closer, "You see an avox is someone without a tongue. Do you know why they don't have a tongue, Sythe?"

"No." I see him beginning to squirm a little.

"An avox does not have a tongue because they did something to make the capitol mad," Sythe turns to look at me when I speak again. "Then the capitol slices out their tongue just...like...this." I take a knife from my belt and slowly slice down my hand. A small line of blood begins to trickle down my arm.

"We don't like what you did so we thought you deserve the same punishment," Katniss says as Sythe turns to look at her.

Sythe's eyes are so wide now they look like they may pop out. "You're…you're crazy!" he shouts.

"Being in the games will do that to you, Sythe. Do you know how many people Johanna has killed?" Katniss almost purrs as she looks over at him with sly eyes. I continue to look at him with a wild look in my eyes as I take a step toward him. "She would have no problem slicing out one little tongue."

Sythe quickly puts his hand over his mouth. "You…you wouldn't dare," he mumbles and scoots himself as far back against the wall as he can.

"Oh, wouldn't I?" I say as I take a step closer with the knife slightly extended in front of me.

Sythe looks like he may just pee his pants. "No, please," he whimpers.

"You just have to do one little thing, and she'll leave you alone." Katniss holds up one finger.

"Anything! Anything!" he puts both his hands out in front his face then slowly lowers them to see what I am doing.

I put my knee and one hand on the bed and lean in with my face and the knife just inches from his face. "Just…admit… what …you …did." I cock my head to the side and open my eyes even wider. I can see the beads of sweat sliding down his face. I know he is about to cave so I reach out quickly and roughly grab his chin while moving the knife right up to his mouth.

"Alright. Alright! I did it," he stammers

"What did you do?" I hiss.

"I beat up Peeta!"

As soon as the words are out of his mouth I back up off the bed. "Thanks." I say back in my normal voice as if waking out of a trance like nothing happened. I step back next to Katniss. "Did you get that Boggs?" I say scanning the room with my eyes as I am not sure where the microphone is.

Soon the door opens as both Boggs and Butch step into the room. Sythe's mouth nearly drops open. "We heard the whole thing. Good work, Soldier Mason and Soldier Everdeen."

"W-w-what…what's going on?" mutters Sythe.

"These soldiers just got you to admit to beating up your former teammate Peeta Mellark. Hurting another soldier has some very serious consequences here in district 13." Boggs says dryly.

"Come with me, soldier." Butch commands. Sythe slowly gets off the bed and begins to follow Butch to the door.

I turn to watch him go. "Hey, Sythe," I say as he is walking out the door. When he turns to look at me, I punch him right in the jaw. "That's for messing with a Victor." Sythe falls to the floor and holds his jaw.

"Soldier Mason," Boggs chastises.

"Oops," I say with a terse smile and shrug my shoulders when I look over at Boggs. Then I step over Sythe's legs and head down the hall. Revenge is oh so sweet.


	35. Chapter 35

Katniss's POV

This morning I went to see if we were allowed to go hunting. Boggs was waiting at the gate. "Morning, Katniss."

"Morning, Boggs. Am I allowed to hunt?"

"Yes, but you must stay outside of the fencing that blocks the damaged area. There is still a lot of unstable rubble."

"Okay," I agree as I walk back down the hall to get my bag and arrows.

"Hey, Catnip. Are you going hunting?" I turn to see Gale headed in my direction.

"Yup. Boggs said we just have to stay out of the damaged area."

"Good. I could use a little fresh air. I don't know how the people of district 13 can handle never going outside."

Gale and I walk to the room to pick up our gear then head for the door. It is very refreshing to feel the cool breeze on my skin as we walk out the door. We walk slowly past the fence as we look at the destruction.

Once we walk into the woods, it is like the bombing never happened. The birds were singing and I could hear the little animals scurry through the branches.

"Let's go to the creek," Gale suggests.

"Okay."

We walk in silence until Gale speaks again. "So how did Johanna's plan go?"

"It went perfectly. Sythe fell for it. Hook, line, and sinker." I told him how it all went down.

"Poor guy. He didn't even get any," Gale said with a chuckle.

I turn and look at him as I hit him in the arm. "Gale."

Gale looks at me with as much of a straight face as he can muster and then lets out a loud guffaw. "I would have loved to see the look on his face when Johanna sliced her hand."

"It was pretty funny," I laugh too as I recall his eyes bugging out.

When we get to the creek we settle by a large rock. Hunting is very uneventful. We return with only a few rabbits and a squirrel.

At lunch we meet up with our usual group.

In the middle of the meal, President Coin makes an announcement on the intercom.

"During our meetings since the bombing, the council has decided that the best time to act against the capitol is as soon as possible. Their defenses should be low as they try to re-establish their weapons stockpile after the attack. We hope to be ready by the end of this week. To prepare for the assault, we are asking all soldiers to report for training after lunch. You will be assigned to your duties and then told who to report to if your captain is to change. Thank you."

There is little talk as we finish our meal.

My mother is the one to break the silence. "Prim, you and I better go to the hospital. I'm sure they will want to get medical supplies ready for the teams to take. We can also practice bandaging wounds."

Mom appears very grim as she and Prim head off. I know she is thinking of all the wounded that will need to be cared for. I hope 13 is prepared for the types of wounds that may occur. Though being through two games has taught me that you never really know what the capitol may throw at you.

When we leave the cafeteria, we all head back to our rooms to get ready for training.

When I'm ready, I walk down the hall where I soon join the crowd of soldiers as we all head outside to the training area.

Each captain is standing in a different spot around the area. I look over to see Beetee and the other weapons specialists standing near huge crates. I can only imagine all the weapons they must hold. I spot Gale standing with a lot of the other soldiers. I walk over to stand beside him. "Are you helping Beetee and the rest of the special defense?"

"No way. Do you think I'm going to miss my chance to stand up to the capitol? Beetee and the others can handle it just fine."

"I kind of figured you would say something like that," I say with a slight smile. I remember all the plans we came up with when we hunted in the woods near district 12.

"Katniss," I hear as Gale waves his hand in front of my face.

"What? Sorry, I wasn't listening."

"I noticed. I said I hope we are on the same team. We could be quite a pair with all those arrows Beetee and I have worked on."

I nod as I continue to scan the crowd. I notice Peeta and Johanna heading in our direction. Soon after that Finnick joins us too. My attention is drawn to see whatever everyone is looking at.

Boggs is standing on top of the first platform on the nearest obstacle. He is handed a bullhorn. "I need everyones attention," he booms. I'm pretty sure he already had it. "All of you soldiers will be put into one of twenty teams. A captain who has already received his or her instructions will lead each team. Please listen for your name as each captain calls out their team."

One by one each captain steps up and takes the bullhorn. They call off the names of soldiers that they will be leading.

Johanna's name is called to be with Diamond, a tough woman from district 1. I have seen her training her group and can only guess she was a trainer for the careers.

"See ya," Johanna says as she begins to make her way over to Diamond. I can see others who must also be on her team making their way over too. Names are called and groups gather around each captain.

"The rest of you will be with me," says Boggs. I look around to see Peeta, Gale, Finnick, and several others that I don't really recognize except for the fact that I have seen them in training or other places around district 13.

Boggs climbs down from the platform and walks over to our group. I notice two other groups coming over. When they are intermingled with us Boggs speaks over the low hush of voices. "Please, have a seat." We all sit on the ground except for Boggs and the other two captains.

As Boggs begins, I glance around to see other teams have formed similar groups that are scattered all over the training grounds. I quickly turn my attention back to what Boggs is saying as Peeta lays his hand on mine.

"Our groups will be the ones to enter Snow's mansion and capture him to be brought back to District 13 to be tried and most likely executed. These next few days that we have will be spent figuring out the safest routes to get us to the mansion and back out. We captains have already been formulating plans. We will be coming from different sides so that we have a better chance of at least one team making it. Other groups will be with us to help clear the way and cause distractions when needed."

We are all quiet as the realization sinks in that there is a good chance that not all of us will make it out.

"Each group will come up with alternative routes as we are not sure what may happen. The more possibilities we have the better. Please go with your captain and begin going over the plans."

The rest of the time we have until dinner is spent looking over the maps Boggs has of the capitol and seeing where we are entering and figuring out routes to the mansion.

"Take your maps of the capitol with you. I expect you to memorize them, as we have no assurance that we will always have them once we get in. After dinner we will be training in the simulators to practice detecting, avoiding, and setting off pods."

Then we are dismissed. Many other groups have already left but a few are still working.

"I need a shower," I announce as we come out of the simulator. I am covered in all sorts of nasty stuff and reek of smoke.

"I'm going to bed," Finnick says.

"Me too," chimes in Gale.

We all trudge off in separate directions. My body is sore already, so I hate to think of what it will feel like after the next several days of training.

"Please come to my room when you're done," Peeta says as I start to head off to my room. I turn to look at him. His shirt is torn and his face is smeared with ash.

"I will," I reply with a smile and try to wipe some of the ash from his cheek. I smile even more when I only manage to make the smear worse. "See you in a bit," I say as I pat his cheek.

When I get to Peeta's room I knock as I enter. "Come in," Peeta says as he looks up from where he is sitting in the middle of the bed. He is shirtless and has damp hair. He smiles while suppressing a yawn as I walk over and join him on the bed.

I see his map in front of him along with several copies he has drawn of just our area. "What are these for?"

"I just thought if I could see just our part it wouldn't appear so daunting."

When I look up at his face I can clearly see the fear in his eyes. I put my hand on his that is resting on the map. "It's okay. We'll make it," I say as I lightly squeeze his fingers.

"How can you be sure?"

"Peeta, we've been to the capitol before."

"Yeah, but we only saw a small part and who knows what traps Snow has laid for us."

"Come on. We made it through two arenas. We can make it through this too."

"I hope so."

I reach over and cup his face in my hands and softly kiss his lips. When I pull back I smile. "Don't worry about it now. You'll feel better once we make plans and have more training."

He nods but doesn't seem too sure that he believes me. "Well, I guess we better get some sleep. Morning will come soon and I have to get up to make breakfast," he says as he carefully folds up his maps and places them on the nightstand.

We both pull back the covers. Peeta settles down on his pillow then reaches up to turn off the lights. He rolls over to face me. "Good night," he whispers as he wraps his arms around me. I snuggle in close to his chest and close my eyes.

**Only a few more chapters to go. I hope you enjoy it as I feel like I am kind of loosing steam. Course whenI started this story I never imagined it would have gone on this long. I hope to end it well.**


	36. Chapter 36

This week of training has been grueling. In the morning we have been doing physical training such as the obstacle course, calisthenics on the track, and anything else Boggs and the other captains can think of.

After lunch is going over maps and routes in the capitol. It is very hard to memorize the maps because it seems that they are always changing as the council gets more information from the spies in the capitol. This to me is the worst part of training. I have never had that good of memory.

After dinner we go into the simulator, which is never good because you never know what will come flying out at you. A long shower with much scrubbing is always required afterwards.

This morning is just like all the other mornings this week. I get up early, well early for me, so that I can get in at least a couple hours of hunting. Usually it is more a time to relax and let my mind wander to other things.

Today I found a quiet spot near the brook. There are always rabbits, squirrels, and birds that can be shot without much effort.

As I was daydreaming I saw movement of something big off to my left. I slowly got to me feet and made my way over to the bush. Through the branches I saw a large buck. It is the largest deer I had seen since I have been in district 13. I take careful aim and shoot. The arrow flies and hits the deer.

I walk over to see if it is dead. The arrow had gone right between the eyes. The perfect shot I think then suddenly I feel my eyes begin to water. That is one thing Peeta's father always said about the squirrels I brought him.

I go and sit on the other side of the bush away from the deer. I pull my knees up to my chest as I feel a few hot tears slide down my cheeks. My mind begins to bring up pictures of many of the people from district 12 that did not make it out including all of Peeta's family. I know it is not true but my mind keeps thinking if my actions had not sparked this rebellion, then all these people would still be alive.

"You're not crying over that deer are you, Catnip?" I look up to see Gale standing next to me with his hands on his hips.

"No," I answer shortly as I wipe the tears with the back of my sleeve.

"So what's troubling you?"

I let out a slow deep breath. "I was just thinking of all the people we lost in 12."

Gale sits down next to me and stares off into the trees. "Well, you can get your revenge in the next few days. By this time tomorrow we will be on our way to the capitol."

I nod as his words sink in. We both sit in silence for a long while. Soon I feel Gale's hand on my shoulder, which brings me out of my daze. I look over as he says, "Maybe we should get that deer back to the kitchen so they can cook it today. If not we won't be around to enjoy it."

"Good call," I say as I reach up take his outstretched hand. With Gale's help we carry the deer to the gate. The guard holds the door as we carry it to through. Many people watch us as we make our way to the kitchen.

"I haven't had venison since we left district 3," says an old man to his friend.

"Yup, what I wouldn't do for some wild turkey."

In my mind I hope that this is served in the cafeteria. Sometime I swear all the good meat must get served to Coin and her council.

When we drop off the deer in the kitchen, Peeta joins us as we head out to the field where we will be training today. Boggs and another captain put us through many drills, which include lots of sprints. They also make us do the dummy drill where we have to run to a dummy and drag it back to the line.

When we all complain Boggs says the drill is important because in battle there will be many wounded and he expects us to help our fallen comrades. It is hard to argue with that point.

"Not all of us are 250 pounds. Can't we just drag Katniss around?" Finnick says under his breath as he runs for the dummy. While the rest of our group laughs, Boggs does not think it's funny.

After Finnick pulls the dummy across the line Boggs makes Finnick run and grab a rope that he is holding onto. Finnick tries to move Boggs. He pulls as hard as he can but can't budge him. After letting Finnick flounder for a minute or two Boggs commands, "Now, go get that dummy again, soldier Finnick."

"Yes, sir," puffs out Finnick as he jogs over to the dummy.

After that we are dismissed for lunch. It is quiet at our table as those of us who are training are too tired to talk. Finnick whispers to Annie as he plays with the end of her hair, which is in a loose braid. Haymitch joins us. "How goes the training?"

"Excruciating," says Finnick looking up from Annie.

"Long and tiring," Gale adds.

"So why aren't you training? Aren't you coming to the capitol with us?" Peeta inquires.

"Are you kidding me," Haymitch almost laughs. "I'm a mentor not a fighter. And I plan to do that right here in the safety of these concrete walls, besides these old bones can't take that kind of beating."

"Come on. You trained with Katniss and I before the Quell."

"I think I'll pass, Bread Boy."

Later that evening things are going smoothly in the simulator until we enter a section of buildings that look like huge warehouses. We have set off a few pods like normal when all of a sudden we hear loud screams from the other side of the wall. We all freeze for a bit until Boggs instructs us to continue.

I start moving on with the rest of our group until I hear Finnick. "Peeta, come on. It's just part of the simulator." I turn to see Finnick looking a little worried. Peeta is staring with wide eyes at the door of the building. "Peeta, snap out of it," Finnick puts his hands on Peeta's shoulder. Peeta shrugs him off and continues to look at the door.

I hurry back to the guys. "Peeta, what's wrong?" I ask looking from him to the door.

Boggs is soon at my side. "Soldier Mellark, we need to keep moving," Boggs commands. Peeta doesn't move.

Another scream comes through the wall, which sends shivers down my body. "We…we have to save them," Peeta speaks in little more then a whisper still looking at the door.

"Who?" Finnick asks.

"The ones they're torturing."

When the scream comes again Peeta runs to the door and begins yanking on the handle. "They're dying. We have to help them!" he yells. "Come on. Open up, you stupid door!" Peeta calls frantically as he pulls harder.

By now the whole team has come back and are watching the scene play out. "Peeta, no one is in there. It's just a fake door," Finnick tries to reason with him.

"It's okay. It's not real, Peeta," I try placing my hand on his arm.

"No, they're in there and we have to get them out," Peeta turns to look me in the eyes as a tear slides down his cheek.

"Stop the simulation!" calls out Boggs with obvious concern in his voice.

Soon the lights flicker then everything is just blank boxes and white walls. A door opens a little bit down the wall and some medics walk in. I turn to see Peeta sitting on the floor with Finnick and another soldier kneeling on both sides. One medic shines a light in his eyes. "Can you tell me where you are, soldier?"

"Training," Peeta answers but there is questioning in his voice.

"That's right," the medic nods, "Do you feel all right?"

"I…I think so."

The medic stands up and turns to Boggs. "He seems to have had a small episode, but appears stable."

Boggs nods then looks at Peeta. "Everyone is dismissed. We will meet at the hovercraft launch pad at 6 o'clock sharp. Have all your gear," Boggs commands, "Get some rest. It may be the most you get until we capture Snow."

Everyone files out the door except Finnick, Gale, Peeta, and I. Boggs looks at Peeta then over at Finnick. "Soldier Odair, please escort Soldier Mellark back to his room." Finnick nods and helps Peeta to his feet.

I watch them go before I speak, "Are you letting Peeta stay on the team?"

"If he still wants to go. I've seen soldiers loose it more than that on the battlefield," Boggs looks at me, "Now go get some rest, Soldier Everdeen." I nod and smile weakly then turn to head to my room.

After I scrub myself free of all the grime from the pods I head up to Peeta's room. When I enter his room I glance around. Usually he is on his bed or sitting in his chair drawing, but I don't see him. I look toward the bathroom door to see if he is still in the shower but the door is wide open and the light is off. "Peeta," I call hesitantly.

"Katniss," I hear a small voice answer. I turn toward the sound and find Peeta sitting in the corner wedged between the bed and the wall. His arms are wrapped around his knees. I can see an all too familiar fear in his eyes.

"Peeta, what are you doing in the corner?" I walk over and crouch down beside him. "What's wrong?"

"Maybe I shouldn't go to the capitol tomorrow."

"What do you mean? It's what you've been training for for so long."

"But what if I freak out again," he says as his squeezes his arms tighter around himself. "What if some of the team gets hurt because I loose it?"

I sit down on the floor in front of him. "You'll be fine. We all freak out some times. I freaked out in the arena when I heard the mockingjays."

Peeta thinks about it for a bit then looks at me with fear in his eyes. "What if I get captured again? I can't go through that again," he shudders.

"You won't get taken. Our team will protect you," I say as I reach up and squeeze his hand reassuringly. Peeta looks into my eyes and takes my hand.

We both sit there for a while then I get an idea. "Come on. Let's go some where." I stand and pull on his hand.

"Where?"

"Just come."

"But Boggs said to get some rest."

"Do you really think you're going to sleep right now?"

"Probably not," he answers as he allows me to pull him up. He then follows me to the door.

We walk out into the hall that is mostly deserted. I lead him to the elevator and push the button for the first floor. As we ride up I rub my thumb against Peeta's still tense hand.

As we walk down the hall I look back at Peeta to see if I can tell if he knows where I am taking him. I can tell by the blank look in his eyes that he still has no clue.

We finally arrive at our destination and I push open the door. Peeta gasps at the sight of all the plants in the greenhouse. "I almost forgot about this place." I look to see a small smile forming on his face and can't help but smile back.

We walk slowly among all the plants. Finally we come to a tree. It's the same spot where we sat when Peeta had that episode where his mind went blank. We lie down on our backs under the tree. I rest my head on Peeta's shoulder. I can feel his fingers playing with my hair. We just lay there in silence for a while.

"Katniss," Peeta nearly whispers.

"What," I reply quietly.

"Are you afraid of going to the capitol?"

I roll over to look into his blue eyes then rest my chin on my elbow with a sigh and give it some thought. "Maybe a little, but not really."

"Oh," he says, "Why not."

"The way I see it. We've survived two hunger games, your torture, two bombings, my propos, and all that training. Things can't get much worse."

Peeta is still while he thinks for a bit. "What do you think will happen when we capture Snow?"

I rest my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat as I consider his question. "We'll execute him then life will go back to normal," I say with a shrug.

"What's normal?"

"I think we'll go back to 12. I'll hunt. You'll bake. Things like that." Peeta reaches up to place his hand on mine that is resting on his chest. We don't talk but just lie next to each other, each of us lost in our own thoughts.

My eyes begin to close and I am almost asleep when my eyes pop open. I roll over to look at Peeta who is asleep. "Peeta," I say gently shaking his arm. He barely opens his eyes to look at me. "We better go back to your room. We have to get an early start and we don't want to oversleep." He nods a little and then closes his eyes. "Peeta, get up." I shake his arm more vigorously. He opens his eyes as I get up and pull on his hand.

I finally get him to stand and lead him out of the greenhouse and back to his room where he crashes into bed. I pull the covers around him and kiss his cheek. "Good night," I whisper but he is already out.

I lie there and think of what will begin in a few hours. By this time tomorrow we will be somewhere in the capitol and on the mission of tracking down Snow.

**Just a little heads up. I don't think I could write very well about the fighting in the capitol so the next chapter will most likely be the epilogue unless I get inspired. I hope no one is too disappointed.**


	37. Chapter 37

**I got some reviews encouraging me to write about the capitol so here is what I came up with. I hope you enjoy it:)**

After the next round of pods goes off and the street begins to fill with a thick black fog, Boggs commands, "Try every door you can. We don't know if the fog is poisonous or not and I don't really want to find out."

We each try doors that are near us. "Over here!" Gale shouts. We turn to see him motioning to an open door. We quickly run inside with Finnick pulling up the rear. He is dragging one of our team that was caught in a pod.

Gale closes the door then moves to help Finnick get the man to a corner. His pant leg is covered with blood. I turn away quickly as I am still no good with blood even though I have had more experience with it in the last few years than I would like to admit.

I look around. We are inside one of the abandoned apartments that are only a few blocks away from Snow's mansion. Our team is scattered around the room some in small groups others just by themselves.

I see Peeta crouched in one of the corners. I sit beside Peeta. His eyes are huge as he stares at the door. "I want to go home. I don't want to go any further."

"Peeta, it's okay." Peeta looks up into my eyes. I reach over and take his hand. "We're almost there. Only one more day and then we can go back to 13."

"Here. You need to eat something." I turn and look up to see Boggs standing next to me holding out an opened can of soup. I reach up to take it. He holds one out for Peeta, but he doesn't take it. In fact Peeta does not even seem to notice Boggs is standing there. Boggs looks over at me with concern in his eyes. "Here. Maybe you can get him to eat it." I take the can and set it down next to mine, then he hands me a spoon. Boggs looks at Peeta then walks over to Finnick and Gale who are still bandaging up the man they drug inside.

"Johanna! Where is she?" Peeta calls out as he jerks his head up when the soldier cries out in pain. Gale is removing a bullet that is deeply embedded in his leg. "I need to find her," he mumbles as he begins to scan the room.

"She's not here, but I'm sure she is okay. She's with her team," I say as I grip Peeta's arm firmly. Peeta relaxes a bit but I can still see the intense fear in his eyes. I scoot over so I can lean my head on his shoulder and just watch the others. Some are whispering quietly, others are tending to each other's wounds, while others are eating the soup Boggs passed out.

As I watch someone eat, my stomach growls reminding me that I too have a can of soup. I pick up the can of soup and open it. I use the spoon Boggs left to scoop some into my mouth. Even though it is cold it, tastes good. I am reminded that it has been several days since I ate anything of much significance. It tastes oddly familiar so I turn the can to read the label and see it is the lamb stew that I really liked from training.

"Peeta, here, eat your soup. It's just like the stuff we had in training," I say as I touch the can to his hand. He absentmindedly takes it.

I finish the rest of my soup then I glance over at Peeta who is still holding a full can of soup. "Peeta, eat," I nudge him then place my spoon in his hand. He still just holds them both as his eyes dart nervously around the room.

Finally I take both the can and the spoon from his hands and spoon up the soup and hold it a few inches from his face. "Peeta, you need to eat."

He blinks and shakes his head a bit then reaches for the spoon, which he takes from my hand and puts in his mouth. I hand him back the can as he continues to eat. I watch him until he has finished the whole thing. Then I take both cans as I stand to find a trashcan.

I find one in the kitchen where I find Finnick washing the dirty spoons he has collected from others. "Wow, who would have thought you to be the domestic type?" I tease as I toss my spoon in the sink.

Finnick gives me a look then turns back to his sink, "Ha, ha, very funny." He plunges his hands into the soapy water as he remarks, "I don't know about you, but I plan on using a clean spoon for breakfast."

I am about to make another comment when we both freeze as we hear a low howl outside. Nether of us move as something large and furry passes by the windows. The whole apartment is silent for several minutes as we wait to make sure whatever that was has gone. Without a sound Finnick finishes the last spoon and places it quietly in the drainer. "Maybe we should try to get some rest," he mentions as we walk back over to the other room where everyone else is.

As we enter I immediately notice that all eyes are on Peeta. Gale is kneeling in front of him. "Peeta, are you okay?" he asks as he shifts back and forth trying in vain to get Peeta to focus on him.

Peeta seems to be focused on the window behind Gale. Peeta begins to rock back and forth. "They're coming. What if they find us? What will they do to us?" I hear a shiver in his voice as he whispers quietly to himself.

I suddenly remember all the other people in the room. I turn to glare at those who are staring at Peeta. They all quickly turn back to their own things as I turn my attention back to Peeta.

Gale moves over to give me room. I reach up and take Peeta's face in my hands as I look into his eyes. "Peeta, look at me," I say calmly. His eyes are still not focused. "Look at me," I command in a harsher tone. He blinks a bit then I see his eyes come back into focus.

"What was that out there, Katniss?"

"I don't know, but it's gone." I sit down next to Peeta and lean my head against the wall.

Gale has gone to sit by some of the other men but I see him looking over at Peeta and I. When he notices that I am looking at him he quickly looks away and tries to focus on the conversation over there.

I pull my arms around me and lean into Peeta as I feel a chill pass through my body. "Are you cold?" Finnick asks. He is sitting only a few feet away with Pollux and Castor.

"A little," I say, "but I'll be fine." Peeta looks at me and wraps an arm around me but I still shiver.

"Here I'll go find blankets." Finnick hops up.

"You don't have to. I'll be fine."

"It's not like I have anything better to do," he adds nonchalantly as he heads for the stairs that most likely lead to the bedrooms.

He is gone for a few minutes before he returns with an armload of blankets. He tosses a big purple blanket on me. "You and Peeta can share." He walks on to the other groups dispersing the blankets.

When he returns to Pollux and Castor I smile from under the blanket. "Thanks, Finnick."

He nods. "It's what nice people like me do." Then he winks at me.

Boggs places lanterns in different areas. "Let's turn off all the lights. Best not to give our position away anymore than we already have."

Soon the room is only lit by the faint glow of the lanterns. With the lights down I begin to get sleepy. All the running and fighting of the last few days has worn me down and this is the first night in the capitol that I feel safe enough to want to go to sleep. I snuggle up to Peeta and close my eyes.

I don't know how long I have been sleeping but when I wake it is still dark. I lie there listening to the sounds around me, which are mostly snoring and breathing. This is probably the best nights sleep any of us will get until we get back to district 13.

I move around a bit to try to get more comfortable when I suddenly realize that Peeta is not next to me. I push the blanket back and sit up to look around. I don't see anyone else that is awake to notice where he went.. So I will have to look for him. I stand up and look around to try and figure out which way to go.

The kitchen is closest so I decide to start there. Just a quick peek and I am able to see he is not in there, so I head over to the stairs. There are no other rooms down here so he must have gone upstairs.

Before starting up the steps, I glance at the windows looking out onto the street. I sure hope he did not have one of his episodes and try to run away. To my relief when I glance at the door I see Boggs. He is leaning up against the door sound asleep just like the rest of my team. I know there is no way that Peeta could have gotten past Boggs and to my knowledge that is the only door to the apartment.

I use my hunting stealth to walk up the stairs without a single creak. There are five doors on this second floor so it should not be too hard to find Peeta.

The first door I open is a den with a large wooden desk and huge shelves covered with books, but no Peeta.

I walk over to the next door and turn the handle. I push the door open and find a bedroom lavishly decorated in animal prints and black furniture. I step inside. A low whistle escapes my lips. So this is what a typical capitol bedroom looks like, and this is just a small apartment. I open the closet that is filled to the brim with fancy, odd looking clothes, but no Peeta.

The next room is a bathroom, and it is easy to see it is unoccupied.

The fourth door is only a closet with empty shelves. This is probably where Finnick found the blankets. I close the closet door.

Only one door left. If Peeta is not in there I have no clue where he might be. I pad over to the last door and turn the handle. The door opens to reveal a bedroom. This one is much smaller than the first one. I can tell by the decorations it is a child's room. There is a small bed and a dresser covered with toy cars.

Suddenly I almost jump out of my skin at the sound of a small creak. My eyes dart over in that direction. I see a rocking chair facing the window. In the chair I can make out the form of someone. The chair creaks again. Then I hear another noise. It is a quiet sob. I take a few steps toward the chair.

In the pale light of the moon shining in the window I see Peeta's blonde hair. It almost looks silver. I hear another small sob. I come to stand next to the chair. Peeta stares out the window. In his arms are a teddy bear and a picture frame.

"Peeta," I whisper and put my hand on his shoulder. He looks up at me as a tear slides down his cheek. I gently wipe the tear away with my thumb. "What are you doing up here?"

"I…I couldn't sleep," Peeta whispers as another tear slides down his cheek. He turns to look back out the window.

I wrap my arms around myself and look out the window too. I can see the lights of buildings and at the end of the buildings I can see a haze of lights that I imagine must be Snow's mansion. I wonder what he is doing, and then I think of the other teams that are scattered around the capitol. I wonder what they are doing.

I hear the soft creak of the rocking chair. I look down at the frame that Peeta is holding. "Peeta, what's the picture of?" I ask quietly. His hand shakes a little as he takes the picture from his lap and holds it up to me. I turn the photo up so that the moonlight will shine on it. In the darkness I can tell there is a father, mother, and three boys. "You miss your family don't you?"

Peeta nods a little and rocks some more while still staring out the window. "Do you ever wonder if you'll have a family after all this is over?" Peeta inquires as he turns to look at me. It's my turn to look out the window.

I can feel Peeta still watching me, waiting patiently for me to respond, so after contemplating the question I answer, "I might, if the rebellion is successful."

Peeta doesn't say anything but I can feel his eyes still on me. "Do you think you would have a family with me?"

I feel my heart skip a beat and just look out the window trying to think of what to say.

After a long silence Peeta sighs, "You don't have to answer. I shouldn't have asked that. It's okay." I feel his hand reach up to take mine and he pulls me over to sit on his lap. I sit sideways and he wraps his arms around my waist as I lean my head on his shoulder. I close my eyes and listen to the rhythm of his heart that seems to match the rhythm of the rocking chair.


	38. Chapter 38

I find myself waking up in a white bed covered in a white blanket. I begin to look around. There are more white beds all around me. It takes me a minute to become fully aware of where I am.

At first I think am in the hospital, but the room is way too big. I notice the white curtain at the edge, but realize it is not the edge but just a boundary made by the curtain. I can see gray walls in the distance. Past the curtain I can make out muffled voices and other noises. It finally comes to me that this room is part of the cafeteria of district 13. I look around and see that all the beds are occupied except for a few. We must be all the injured soldiers from fighting in the capitol.

We are back in 13 but does that mean we won or did we lose and retreat? The last thing I remember clearly is being close to President Snow's mansion when all of a sudden bombs were being dropped. There were explosions all around me. I remember one hitting close to me. Close enough that the force threw me at least twenty feet into a brick wall. I remember my vision coming and going. I remember seeing some one picking me up and shouting, "Katniss, can you hear me?" I nodded yes, or at least I think I did but I couldn't feel my body so I am not sure. That is all I remember before the black and fuzziness overtake me.

I take stock of my injuries. My left leg is wrapped in a bandage from my lower thigh down to the middle of my calf. My left arm is almost completely bandaged. I reach up to touch the left side of my face. It feels scratched and scabbed up. My left side is the side that must have taken the brunt of the explosion. I'll have to ask someone if we won or not.

I start to look around at the people close to me. The man to my right is the one that Finnick and Gale helped that night we stayed in the abandoned apartment. "Gale?" my mind thinks. "Where is he?" I start scanning the room.

Only a few beds away is Finnick. I would know that copper hair anywhere. Annie is leaning on his chest as he twirls her hair in his fingers. His shoulder is bandaged, along with his leg. He also has huge scratches over his left eye. He has been staring out at the all the beds, but winks at me when he catches me watching them. Then he gently kisses Annie on the top of her head.

I jump a bit when I hear someone clear his or her throat. I look up to find Johanna standing next to my bed. "Hi," I say managing a small smile.

"What are you smiling for?" she grunts out in her usual cold tone. My smile disappears instantly and I shrug my shoulders. "Man, you look horrible," she says as she plops down in the chair by my bed.

I give Johanna the once over. She actually does not look too worse for the wear, but I retort anyway, "Well, you don't look so good either."

"Ooo, Is that supposed to hurt my feelings, fire girl?" I see a small mischievous grin lift the edge of her lips. She puts her hands behind her head and closes her eyes.

"Did you want something, Johanna?" I ask a little coldly.

She just shakes her head while keeping her eyes closed. "Just thought I'd pop over for a visit." She then annoys me further by propping her dirty boots up on my bed. She opens one eye just enough to get a glimpse of my reaction. I try to not let it show that it really irks me. I decide to ignore her as I scan the room for Gale, Peeta, or anyone else from our team.

"Johanna, get your feet off Katniss' bed," I hear Gale's voice and turn just as he shoves her feet off. Johanna glares at him and readjusts herself so her feet are on the bed next to mine.

The man on that side is sleeping, or at least I hope he's sleeping cause I have not seen him move since I woke up. I eye him for a bit until I notice his chest rising and falling ever so slightly.

Then I turn my attention back to Gale who is sitting on the end of my bed. "How are you feeling, Catnip?" his voice sounds a little shaky.

"Not bad. How long have I been out?"

"Two days," Gale answers as he rubs his dirty hands together.

"What have you been doing these last two days, waiting for me to wake up?"

The concern on his face lessens as a little smile begins to show. "I've been back in 12. They think we can move back there once we rebuild some."

"It will be good to go home." Gale nods as he looks back down at his hands and dirty jeans. "What?" I ask as I can tell something is on his mind. He doesn't answer but simply shrugs his shoulders. "Gale, what is it?" I push his leg with my foot that is still under the blanket.

Gale meets my gaze and sighs before he speaks, "I was just wondering where you will live."

"What do you mean? I'll move back to district 12 of course."

"No, that's not what I mean," he sighs.

"You'll have to help me out a little then. I don't know what you mean."

Gale takes a deep breath. "Will you stay in the victor's village or will you come back to the seam. It should be much nicer after the rebuild," he quickly adds the last sentence as if to try to convince me. It's my turn to look at my hands. I can feel him staring at the top of my head, but I don't have an answer. I feel movement and hear him stand. "I guess that means you'll stay with _him_ in victor's village," he mutters as he walks off without saying "Goodbye."

I glance up to see him walk out of the cafeteria. I turn toward Johanna who is still sitting next to my bed. "Don't look at me. I'm not saying a word," she replies as she too walks away leaving me all by myself.

I lie back down and pull the blanket up to my chin as I stare at the ceiling. I soon catch movement near the end of my bed. I look down to see Finnick standing there watching me with sympathy. "Don't worry about Gale. He's been a little emotional since we got back."

"Pft, Gale emotional. That's new," I reply sarcastically.

Finnick smiles a little as he lays his hand on my foot then his expression turns serious, "Just so you know, he's the one who found you after the bombs, and wouldn't let anyone else hold you all the way back from the capitol." Finnick glances back at Annie sleeping soundly on his bed. "Give the guy a break. He may not show it, but he really cares about you."

"I know," I whisper.

Finnick pats my foot then starts to head back to his own bed but turns around before he gets too far. "One more thing. Gale has spent the last two nights sleeping in that chair," he motions to the chair next to my bed before he starts to walk again.

I look down at my hands a little ashamed for acting like Gale didn't care about me when I know he does. "Finnick?" I ask. Finnick turns to look at me. "How's Peeta?" I ask quietly as I'm almost feeling guilty for asking.

"Not so good." When my eyes widen Finnick quickly continues, "Physically, he's not any worse than the rest of us, but those bombs going off really messed his mind up. They had to sedate him to get him on the hovercraft so we could come back to district 13." I can't seem to find any words but simply nod. Finnick quietly goes back to his bed and climbs in next to Annie who is still asleep.

I think about trying to go visit Peeta but when I look at the exit I see a rather large and gruff looking guard standing at the door. I really doubt he will allow me to leave, so I lay back down and focus on the tiles on the ceiling.

I almost fall asleep when I hear someone walk up and stop right in front of my bed. As soon as I open my eyes, I immediately smile for standing in front of me is Prim. She smiles back before she runs to my side and throws her arms around me. I wince in pain but wrap my arms around her and hold her tightly. When I let go she reaches up and gently touches my left cheek. "Does it hurt?"

"Not really."

"I brought you some supper."

"What time is it?"

"About nine. You were still asleep when we served supper to all the others. Are you hungry?"

"A little I guess." Prim brings the tray over and sets it on the table next to me. I pick up the roll and nibble on it then just stare at the rest of the tray.

"Katniss, you need to eat more than that. You haven't eaten in at least two days." Try four I think to myself, but Prim doesn't need to know that. She sits on the edge of my bed and watches me with a worried look.

"It's good to be home," I say as I muster up a small smile.

Prim smiles back. "Gale is helping to rebuild 12. Then we really can go home."

"I know. He told me. It will be nice to go back." I eat a few bites of the stew and then sit the bowl down. My mind keeps thinking of what Finnick said about Peeta and I worry if he is okay. "Have you seen Peeta since we got back?" I lift my eyes to Prim.

She shakes her head slowly. "I tried but they were not sure if he was stable. They were afraid he might hurt me."

I nod in understanding. "Where is he?"

"I think he is back up in the hospital where he was when he was rescued from the capitol the first time." I nod again and promise myself to attempt to go visit him later tonight if I can slip past the guard.

"Katniss," I hear Prim say my name. I did not realize I was off in my own little world. I look up quickly. She smiles then speaks, "I better get back to mom. It's getting late." She stands and gives me a hug as I lay down. She pulls the covers up to my chin and lightly kisses my forehead. "I'll come see you tomorrow."

"Good night, little duck," I whisper and smile.

"Good night, Katniss," she answers as she pats my arm before walking down the row of beds.

I am left to stare back up at the ceiling. I try to go to sleep but I find my thoughts keep going to Peeta. I wonder if they have told him what happened, or if he is still sedated. My mind travels back to the first time I visited him. I remember him in the white room strapped to the bed. I wonder if he is once again strapped to the bed. I sit up and look over to the door where the big mean guard is still standing. How will I ever get past him?

Lucky for me I don't have to come up with a plan. Two rows down from me a guy starts screaming. The man next to him tries to calm him but only manages to find himself in a headlock. He starts waving his arms and calling for help. Along with others, the guard at the door hurries over to help.

While the guard is busy with this, I take my chance and hurriedly scramble for the door. Once I am out in the hall, I head for the elevator that will take me to the hospital floor.

As I walk down the hall I notice that I seem to be getting a lot of stares. What are they all staring at? Can't a person walk down the hall? I decide they must be staring because of my bandages. I quicken my pace to get to the elevator. Once I am inside I am glad to door closes before anyone else can get on.

The hospital is very empty. I don't even see any nurses. They are probably either off for the night or helping with the wounded. I quickly find myself outside the observation room. What will I find when I go in? I slowly open the door. I walk inside and look into the white room with the bed in the middle but there is no Peeta. Maybe Prim was wrong.

I am about to turn and walk out when a slight movement catches my eye. When I look toward it I see Peeta crouched in the corner with his knees pulled up to his chest. His eyes are wide with fear.

When I walk over to the door and step into the room, his eyes are immediately glued on me. "Peeta?" I say quietly, "It's me, Katniss."

"I know what you are."

What I am? This confuses me. I take a few steps closer but stop when I see Peeta leaning back against the wall as if he is trying to get as far away from me as he can. "Peeta, it's okay."

"Sure. That's what they want me to think."

"Who wants you to think that?"

"The capitol. It's just like last time."

"What do you mean like last time?"

"It's just like the quarter quell. The bomb went off. The hovercrafts come and take us away. And I land myself back in the capitol to have my mind messed with again."

"But Peeta you're not in the capitol. You're back in 13."

"How do you know?" his voice rises as he speaks. "You don't know what it was like in the capitol." I see his eyes stare off as if remembering some memory then he speaks softly. "It was cold and damp." His body shivers. "Screams all around me. Pain. There was always pain." His eyes are teary. "Why is this happening again?" He covers his face with his hands and I hear his soft sobs.

My heart breaks to see him in this condition. "Peeta, everything is okay," I whisper as silently I move to sit next to him and put my hand on his shoulder. His body tenses at first but then loosens as he realizes I am real and not just part of a hallucination. He slowly lifts his head so his tear-stained eyes meet mine. "It's okay, Peeta. You're not in the capitol," I speak softly as I wipe the tears from his cheeks.

"Are you sure?" he whispers.

"Does this look like where you were in the capitol?"

Peeta slowly begins to gaze around the room. "No, but it seems so familiar."

"This is where you stayed for a while when you were rescued. It's in the hospital wing."

"You would come see me at night." He looks at me for confirmation. I smile warmly and nod. He manages a small smile before he turns serious again. "I don't ever want to go back to the capitol, Katniss," he says as his breath catches in a little sob.

"Me neither," I add as I reach to him and pull him into a comforting embrace. I lean against the wall as he leans against me. I keep my arms wrapped around him as I rest my cheek against the top of his head.

I am almost asleep when the silence is broken by a loud and unkind voice, "What are you doing in here? No one has clearance to be in here except the doctors."

I am just becoming fully aware of what is happening when I feel Peeta being jerked out of my arms. I feel another set of arms pulling me up off the floor.

"Katniss!" I hear Peeta scream, as he is being dragged out of the room by two very large men in white uniforms.

"Peeta!" I yell back and struggle with all my strength against the arms that hold me. "What are you doing? We were fine until you came in!" I yell as I feel myself being pulled out of the room and I watch the men strapping a now hysterical Peeta to the bed.

When the door closes a doctor speaks to me while I am still being held against my will. "Miss Everdeen, you are not allowed to be in that room with him until we are sure that he is stable."

"Stable!" I scream, "He'd be fine if you didn't treat him like a prisoner! He thought he was back in the capitol!" I jerk free from the guard and put my arms around myself as I watch helplessly as Peeta struggles against the restraints.

"It's for his own good, Miss Everdeen," the doctor tries to sound calm.

"Where's Haymitch? I want to talk to Haymitch," I command as I turn and angrily stare at the doctor. He turns and quietly speaks to one of the men who quickly exits the room.

After a few minutes the doctor speaks to me in a voice that I am sure is supposed to be soothing, "Maybe you should go back to your bed. You have been through a lot these past few days and could probably use some rest."

"I am not leaving until I speak to Haymitch," I mutter as I stand there with my arms crossed.

When I hear the door open again I turn to glare at whoever happens to be coming in. "What's up, sweetheart?" Even though his voice is gruff it is a relief to hear it and to see my mentor.

"They're treating Peeta like he's crazy," I motion to the room. By now Peeta has quit struggling but I can tell he is worn out by his heaving chest. I turn to look at Haymitch who is watching Peeta.

Haymitch turns to the doctor. "Why is he strapped to the bed?"

"We are not sure how stable he is. It is just a precaution."

"I thought they said they would only do that if he were threatening people. Was he threatening someone?"

"Well, he was fighting against the guards."

"Because they barged in and started yelling," I spit out.

"Calm down, sweetheart. We'll get it straightened out," Haymitch says gruffly while placing a firm but reassuring hand on my shoulder. I calm down a bit feeling a little better now that I know that at least Haymitch is on my side. Haymitch turns to the doctor. "I want to talk to the doctor in charge of Peeta." The doctor nods and hurriedly exits the room.

Soon another doctor comes in. I recognize him as one that I always saw watching over Peeta. Haymitch turns to look him in the eyes. "Why is Peeta being held down like a crazed lunatic? You'd have some problems too if you had been through half the crap he has."

The doctor looks in at Peeta. He is lying very still with his eyes closed. You might think he was asleep except for his fists that are clenching and unclenching. The doctor speaks while still watching Peeta, "I'm sure there is a good reason for him being held like that. I will have to speak to the nurses. If you will excuse me I will be right back."

The doctor exits and is gone only briefly then returns. "I have been informed that Peeta turned violent when the guard entered the room."

In a blink of an eye Haymitch has the doctor pinned to the wall with his fist knotted at the neck of his coat. "Listen to me, mister. I'm about to turn very violent myself if Peeta is not released immediately. Do you understand?" Haymitch's eyes are wide with rage.

The doctor meets his eyes with a passive look, "Clearly." The doctor motions to the guard who has materialized out of thin air.

Only when we see him unhooking Peeta's restraints does Haymitch loosen his grip. "Thank you, doctor," Haymitch grumbles.

When the guard walks out I hurry into Peeta who is starting to sit up. Without a word I throw my arms around him. He wraps his arms around me securely and nestles his face in the crook of my neck.

"Ah, look at the love birds. Isn't that sweet?" I glare at Haymitch who is standing at the door with a smirk on his face, but I can't be too mad at him after what he just did.

My eyes turn to little slits when I catch sight of the doctor standing behind Haymitch. Haymitch turns around. "What do you want?" Haymitch says curtly.

"President Coin wants to see you three in the conference room."

"Isn't it a little late?"

The doctor shrugs his shoulders, "That was the message I was told to give you."

Haymitch rolls his eyes then sighs loudly. "Come on, love birds," Haymitch motions to us to follow. Both of us stand and I feel Peeta's fingers entwine with mine as we walk out of the room. As we walk down the hall I turn to see two guards following behind us.

When we get to the conference room we find Finnick, Beetee, Johanna, Boggs, Plutarch, Paylor, and others. Some I recognize as other captains that led teams during the attack on the capitol. Boggs is there too.

Once we are seated, President Coin stands up. All attention is on her. "I'm sorry for the lateness, but the committee and I thought it necessary to get Snow's execution decided as soon as possible. We thought it would be quite fitting if the person who started the rebellion would be the one to end it." All eyes turn to me. "Do you think you are up for it, Miss Everdeen?" Coin looks at me and waits for my response.

In my mind I see flashes of all the bad things that have happened to me because of Snow. I sit up a little taller and meet President Coin's eyes. "It would be my pleasure."

"Then it is decided. Katniss will execute Snow. The committee and I will decide on the place and the time. The announcement will be made tomorrow. Thank you all for coming."

Everyone stands to file out of the room. I feel Peeta take hold of my hand as we exit. "Will you stay with me tonight?" he asks quietly as we walk down the hall. I nod as my mind is still reeling after the meeting. I lead Peeta down the hall. "Aren't we going back to the hospital?"

"No." He follows behind me without question.

We are soon standing outside his room. When I open the door we find the room just as we left it that morning we went to take the capitol. We walk inside. We both look at the bed still neatly made. I start to take off my shoes and socks. Peeta does the same.

We are soon both lying in bed wrapped in each other's arms. Neither of us says anything as we are both lost in our own thoughts. My head is resting on Peeta's chest. I feel safe in his arms. Even though I care a lot for Gale, Peeta and I have been through so much together that I don't know if I could live without his presence.


	39. Chapter 39

**I am so sorry it took me so long to update. We went on vacation to Dragoncon in Atlanta which was so much fun. Since I have been back I have had some writer's block and have had more ideas for my other stories. I will try to do better and it should help that I have ideas:) Enjoy**

At lunch we meet up at our usual table. Finnick and Annie walk up but don't say "Hi" as they are deep in their own little world. I smile as I notice Annie has her hand covering her now obvious baby belly. When they sit Finnick notices us looking at them. "Hi?" he mutters.

"Hi," Peeta replies.

Just as we start eating the crackle of the intercom gets our attention. "All people from districts 3 and 12 are to report to the hovercraft loading docks at 1:00 with all of your belongings. Thank you."

Finnick breaks the silence that follows, "Wow, it seems so weird with everyone leaving. I guess that means you all are going back to district 12." Peeta, mom, Prim, and I all nod our heads.

"I for one will be glad to go," pipes up Haymitch. We all look at him. "What? I'll be glad to get home where I won't be called at any hour for some meeting or another."

"Oh," we all shake our heads.

"I thought you were going to say you would be glad to get away from us," Finnick kids.

"I will be glad to get away from you, pretty boy," Haymitch pretends to be serious while Finnick acts as if Haymitch hurt his feelings. Then we all crack up laughing.

"It will be good to go home. I hate being stuck inside," agrees Johanna.

"I'll be glad to walk on the beach," Annie says dreamily smiling and looking off into space.

"Yeah," agrees Finnick as he kisses her cheek. Annie turns to look into his eyes.

"We have had some pretty good times here in district 13 though," Peeta reflects positively.

"Always the optimist," snorts Haymitch as he shakes his head, "even after all you've been through."

"Is it a bad thing?" Peeta raises a brow and looks at him.

"Nope, I'm just still amazed, that's all," Haymitch shrugs.

Our conversation continues until Annie suddenly seems to have realized something. We all pay attention to her as she speaks. "Will you come visit when the baby is born?" she looks at us with big round eyes then they fall to her belly and she rubs it thoughtfully with one hand.

"Of course we will," Prim says reaching over to pat Annie's other hand that is resting on the table. Annie looks into Prim's blue eyes and smiles her shy smile then turns to smile up at Finnick who is watching with kind eyes.

"They'll come," he reassures her softly as he reaches to touch her belly. She lays her hand on his as they share a special moment.

"We better go get packed," Mom says when we finish eating. We all say our goodbyes, as we may not see each other for a while.

"Keep in touch," Finnick tells Peeta and I, "There's always a house in victor's village for you."

"The offer goes both ways," Peeta comments as Finnick shakes his hand and slaps his back once. Annie gives all of us a hug.

Mom, Primrose, and I are finally packed and ready to head down to the hovercrafts. Thirteen has seemed a lot less populated as people from district 2, 6, and 10 have already gone back. Our district is finally ready. It has been two months since the siege on the capitol.

When we get to the loading area, I glance around. We place our meager belongings in the spot we are directed. Mom walks over to speak with Gale's mother as Prim talks to Rory. I look around almost expecting to see Gale, but I know I won't. He has spent the last two weeks back in 12 getting the final things finished so the rest of us can move home.

I spy Haymitch standing amongst the crowd with his arms crossed over his chest. I wonder if he will start drinking once we get back to 12. He raises an eyebrow when he catches me watching him. I walk over where he is standing and cross my arms too. "Are you mocking me," he mutters as I stand next to him.

"No," I answer, glancing up at him.

"It'll be good to not have to watch what I say or do anymore," he mumbles trying to make a bit of conversation.

"Since when do you watch what you say," I come back with as I roll my eyes.

"Listen here, sweetheart. I say about half of what I feel like saying."

"Um huh," is all I respond. Haymitch just glares at me, as I look around at the growing crowd. "I think I'll go see if I can find Peeta."

"Bye," he mutters as if he could care less. I make a sweep of the hovercraft loading dock but don't find Peeta anywhere. "I'm going to find Peeta," I tell my mom.

"Okay. They said it could be a while before we are ready to go."

"I'll be back before then." She nods and I weave through the gathering crowd. I feel like a fish traveling up stream. I have to dodge people, boxes, and suitcases.

Once I make it through the first hall the crowd thins out a lot, which makes it much easier to navigate. I take the stairs since I know the elevator will be crowded with people.

When I get to Peeta's floor, it is basically empty except for an older couple. They are struggling to carry their trunk to the elevator. "Here let me help," I smile warmly. The lady looks up at me after she sets her side down. She smiles at me as I recognize her as one of the women who helped in the kitchen. "Are you leaving too, Challah?"

"Yup, if we can ever get this darn trunk up to the hovercraft."

"I can get it to the elevator at least, then I'm sure there will be plenty of strong men to help you once you get to the top floor. Just flag someone down." The trunk is a little heavier than I thought it would be, but I manage to haul it to the elevator. Challah's husband pushes the button and we wait.

"It will be strange not cooking for such a large group any more," Challah comments.

"What do you mean? You always cook enough for an army." Challah's husband pipes up. She elbows him in the arm. "I didn't say it was a bad thing," he says while rubbing his arm.

I am saved by the ding of the elevator, as I was not sure what to say. I wave as the doors shut and the elevator hums. I turn and head down the hall. I stop at Peeta's door and knock softly. I'm sure he would not care if I just came in but I wait to hear him call.

I knock again when he doesn't answer or open the door. I reach up and turn the knob. When I push the door open the room is dark, so I flip on the light. The room is empty except for his bag and a few painting leaning against the wall by the door. "Where could he be?" I think to myself as I pull the door closed and step back out into the hall. I get an idea so I head to the place Peeta spent most of his time while not in his room.

As I get to the door I smile when I hear his voice. "Bye, Burdette," I hear Peeta say. As I step into the kitchen I see him hugging one of the ladies.

There are only four ladies in the kitchen, which seems strange when there are usually at least ten women bustling around. Peeta smiles when he sees me. "I just had to come and say 'good-bye' to the kitchen ladies.

"Go ahead," I smile and wave shyly to the four of them. One that I don't know comes over and gives me a huge hug. I hug her back awkwardly.

When Peeta is done we head back to his room to get his stuff. As we get to the loading area Peeta jerks to a stop. I am not paying attention so I run into him. "Peeta, don't stop. We have to put your stuff over there," I motion with the hand carrying a small painting. He hurries over to the spot and dumps his things then turns to meet my gaze. "What?"

"I told Raven I would see her before we left."

"Go, but make it quick." He nods and jogs toward the doors we came in. I go to sit by Prim and Rory.

After a bit there is the crackle of the speakers as they announce, "District 3 will begin loading in ten minutes, then district 12 will be loaded after that. Please be ready when it is your district's turn." Then there is the crackling noise again.

I try to wait patiently for Peeta but soon they are loading district 3. I know it will take a while but I am starting to get nervous that Peeta might miss our flight, and I don't know if there will be other flights.

After a few more minutes I stand. Prim looks up at me. "What are you doing?" she questions.

"I'm going to get Peeta."

She glances around quizzically, "I thought you already did."

"Yeah, but he left to say 'good-bye' to Raven."

"Well, you better hurry," she calls as I am already making my way through the crowd.

I head to the hospital as Raven usually spends her days there with the nurse Ijolite that is taking care of her. When I talked to Ijolite after the attack on the capital she said that she planned to go back to district 2. She is planning on taking Raven with her, as she is already working on adopting her. I'm glad Raven has someone that loves her that much.

I go to the children's hall where there is a huge playroom. Usually she is there playing with the other children or quietly drawing a picture. When I look inside I see Peeta sitting on the floor with Raven on his lap. Her long hair is pulled back into two braids. Her face is buried in Peeta's chest while her tiny hands are tightly fisted in his shirt. I can hear her crying and notice a few tears on Peeta's cheeks as well. "Don't cry. Ijolite will take good care of you. Don't you want to be with her?"

"Yes, but I…I want to be with…with you too," she manages between sobs.

"I know but you'll live in district 2 and I'm from 12."

"But I'll miss you so much," she sobs.

"I'll miss you too very much but I have to go home." He is silent as he rubs her back and rests his face in her hair. "I promise I'll come see you," he whispers into her hair.

She slowly lifts her head to look into his eyes, "Promise?" He nods. "When?"

He smiles lovingly. "As soon as Ijolite lets me know that you are home and she is ready for visitors. Okay?" She nods her head, but then lays it back on Peeta's chest as she takes a few broken breaths.

I clear my throat to get Peeta's attention, as I don't want to disturb them. Peeta looks up. "I'm sorry but we really need to go. They're loading 3 and then we're next."

He nods and gives me a look that says, "Just give me a few more minutes." He hugs her close and kisses the top of her head. "I have to go. They're starting to load."

Raven looks up at him and softly tells him, "I love you, Peeta."

"I love you too," he replies "and I promise to come visit." She smiles even as a tear slides down her cheek. Peeta brushes it away.

They both stand and Peeta walks her down to where Ijolite is sitting at a desk. Ijolite looks up from her computer. "It's time for me to go," Peeta says. She looks up in time to see Raven's bottom lip begin to quiver. She walks over and scoops her into her arms. Raven buries her head in the crook of her neck. Peeta looks as if his heart is about to break. "I'm sorry," he says sadly.

"It'll be okay," Ijolite smiles knowingly and strokes Raven's hair.

By the time we get back to the hovercraft landing the people from 12 are starting to form a line to board. Prim waves us over to where she and mom are in line with Gale's family right behind them. "Aren't you getting in line?" I holler to Haymitch who is still standing in the same place I left him before.

"Not yet. Why get in a hurry?" I shrug. "Besides I hate standing in lines. It's not like they're going to leave without me, sweetheart."

I roll my eyes then turn to face Prim. She takes my hand and giggles excitedly as she jumps up and down. "Just think Katniss, tonight we will be back in our own beds." I smile and nod.

It is only an hour long flight to district 12, then we all stand around and wait for them to unload our belongs along with provisions 13 has given us. Each family gets a box of food and we are told that more will follow.

Groups of people begin to wander off to their new homes. Mom, Prim, Haymitch, Peeta, and I head to the victor's village. Our houses look as if they were untouched.

"I wonder if any of my drinks are still there?" Haymitch mumbles to himself as he ambles to his house.

Prim nearly runs up the steps to our house and flings the door open. "It's just like the day we left…only really dusty," she says as her face wrinkles in disgust.

"What did you think would happen after so long?" mom asks as she runs a finger along the fireplace.

We spend the next three hours giving our house a deep clean.

Mom is still organizing the kitchen so I decide to sit on the porch. The sun is beginning to set and there is a slight chill in the air. I wrap my arms around myself as I watch other people milling around. It is good to be out of district 13.

"Dinner is ready," Prim's voice interrupts the quiet.

As I stand to go inside, I notice the one small light on in Peeta's house and wonder what he is doing.

Dinner is quiet as we are all lost in our own thoughts. "I think I'll go hunting in the morning."

"Why? We have plenty of food from 13."

"I know, but I like hunting."

"Okay."

That night it takes me a long time to get to sleep. My mind is filled with memories of the last year: the quarter quell, life in district 13, nights spent with Peeta, attacking the capitol, and now I'm back in 12.

I find myself sitting at the little dressing table in my room. I am brushing my hair when the door creaks open. I stare in the mirror as a dark shadow is standing in the doorway. My whole body trembles and I can't move. I watch as the figure enters my room.

Soon Snow is standing behind me looking down at me. "It can't be," I mumble, "You're dead. I killed you myself."

I hear a rumble that sounds like a mix between laughter and choking. "You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?" His eyes bore into mine as if he is stabbing my soul.

"You're not real. You're just a dream," I whimper.

"I'll never be gone. I will haunt you for the rest of your life," he hisses and then begins to laugh.

I jolt awake and look around my room. The door is closed just the way I like it. I reach over and turn on my light. The room is completely empty. I lay back down and breathe in deeply. I try to relax but cannot find the courage to close my eyes again.

After staring at the ceiling for a long time I finally sit up and peer out my window. I see the same light on in Peeta's house that was on when I had been on the porch. Obviously he can't sleep either.

As I walk down the hall I stop at both mom and Prim's doors. I can hear them both breathing deeply. I slip out the door and walk across the street.

When I get to Peeta's door, I stop. "Should I bother him?" I question myself. Then I groan at myself and open the door. I can see the light coming from a room on the second floor. I make my way silently up the steps.

When I get to the room with the light I stop at the door. Peeta is shirtless sitting in a chair in front of his easel. Peeta turns toward me when I clear my throat. I step toward him. "What are you painting?"

He moves so I can see for myself. It is a picture of me sitting on the bed surrounded by all the kids when we were in the bomb shelter. I smile as I walk over. Peeta turns back to look at the painting also. "That was an exciting time," I giggle.

Peeta chuckles too. "I miss them already," he sighs.

I know he is mostly talking about Raven. "I'm sure you will see her again." I squeeze his shoulder. He nods as he reaches up to brush his hand across Raven's face. We are both silent and still as we both think about the past and ponder what the future will bring. I catch myself yawning.

"Why did you come over?" Peeta turns to look into my eyes.

"I couldn't sleep," I shrug.

"Nightmare?"

I nod.

He stands and takes my hand and guides me down the stairs and out into his porch. He sits down leaning against the wall then pulls me down into his lap. He wraps his arms around me. I lean my head on his shoulder as he slowly strokes my hair. "Sleep," he whispers, "I'll keep the nightmares away."

Soon my breathing matches the slow rise and fall of his chest as I feel my eyes getting heavy. "Is this how every night will be?" I wonder as I slowly drift to sleep.


	40. Chapter 40

**Sorry for the long wait. I have no excuse. If it helps I think this might be my longest chapter. I hope you like it:)**

I crawl out of bed when my alarm goes off and jump in the shower. The hot water cascades down my body. I lather up and then rinse off the soap. I breathe in the sweet fragrance that wakens my whole body and soothes the aches of hunting. It is a lavender soap that I bought in the market a few days ago.

It is strange to go to the market and openly buy things. My mind still thinks of the days when I traded under the table for things that my family needed. Now with the new government people are free to buy and sell almost anything, and you don't have to practically sell your life away to buy frivolous items.

When I get out, I towel off and wrap the towel snugly around my chest. I then open the door a crack just enough for me to peek out. I see the large lump on the bed and know that Peeta must still be sound asleep. I tiptoe out and hurry over to the chest of drawers where I rummage around until I find some simple black jeans and red shirt. I didn't used to wear red but Peeta says it looks good on me. I head back into the bathroom and brush through my hair and quickly braid it.

I walk over to the bed and stare down at the pile of blankets with Peeta still snuggled underneath. The only part of him I can see is his face. "Peeta," I call shaking his shoulder lightly. He groans and rolls away from me. "Peeta, it's time to get up." He just pulls the blankets over his head. I shake my head as I walk over to the blinds and pull them up so the sun shines right on the bed. Then I stalk back to the bed and before Peeta can anticipate it, I yank back the blanket and sheets all in one fell swoop.

"That's not nice," Peeta mumbles as he turns his head into the pillow and curls up into a ball.

"Peeta, our train leaves in one hour. You have to get up."

"Katniss, I need like fifteen minutes and I'll be ready."

"We still have to go to mom's and get Prim."

"Fine. I'm up," he grumbles as sprawls out on the bed and glares at me. I admire the view of his bare chest and sleep tousled hair for a second or two before I place both hands on my hips and scowl at him until he flops to the edge of the bed and manages a sitting position as he rubs his face with his hands.

"You need to be at mom's in thirty minutes. I'm going to go now so I can pack some more of my clothes."

"Okay."

"Oh, and don't forget the painting." He nods as he yawns and stands to stretch.

I wait in the entrance hallway until I hear his heavy steps as he makes his way slowly to the bathroom. I pull the door shut when I hear the shower turn on, since I know if he made it that far, he is awake enough.

When I open the door to mom's house I see Prim's suitcase already leaning against the wall by the door. I can hear voices as I head toward the kitchen.

Prim is sitting at the table talking with mom as she eats a plate of eggs and bacon. "Katniss!" she squeals when she sees me, "I can't wait for our trip."

"Do you want some breakfast?" mom says as she stands to pour more coffee in her cup.

"Sure." I pull back a chair and sit as she sets a plate in front of me.

"Where's Peeta."

"Getting ready. He pulled a late night painting session finishing up the picture."

"Will he be here on time?"

"I think so," I shrug and lift the mug of steaming hot chocolate to my lips.

Prim and I are just stepping out onto the porch when I see Peeta coming out the door of his house with his bag in one hand and a large package in the other. "I was wondering if you were going to grace us with your presence this morning."

"Hey, I'm right on time. You said I had thirty minutes."

"Nothing like cutting it down to the wire."

"Really, Katniss? Every time we travel by train it is always at least twenty minutes late. We have plenty of time to walk to the station."

Peeta is right. We get to the station where there are mostly businessmen sitting around on the benches waiting for the train. It is twenty-five minutes before the train pulls into the station and takes at least another twenty minutes for the few passengers to collect their belongings. "See. I could have slept at least another half an hour."

"Oooh, poor baby," I pooch my bottom lip. Peeta just rolls his eyes and drops off his bag then ambles into the train. Prim and I do the same then follow him to a table with benches for four. Peeta props the package against the window then sits down. We sit across from him.

A smiling waiter hurries over to us, "Can I get you anything before the train pulls out of the station?"

"I'll take a large cup of coffee with plenty of cream and sugar," Peeta answers. The waiter then turns to us.

"I'll have some orange juice and she'll have hot chocolate," I order for both Prim and myself. The waiter bustles down the car until he stops at another occupied table and takes their order as well.

A few minutes after we get our drinks, the train pulls out of the station. It will be a twelve-hour train ride mostly because the train makes many stops along the way. Some people get off but it is mostly people getting on at first. It is neat to see the good condition of the areas we pass along the way since I still have memories of these places when we where on our victor's tour.

Prim walks up and down the aisle visiting with others as Peeta sits staring out the window. His face is very serious, as he seems very deep in thought. "What are you thinking?" I say taking his hand that lies on the table.

"Hmm?" he says turning to me and looking into my eyes.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask again.

"It just brings back so many memories. Some good and some not so much." I nod and keep my eyes on his. "I just remember how scary it was heading back to the capitol for our second games…" he trails off as he turns back to look out the window. I feel a shiver as I think about that ride also.

Prim returns to the table carrying a box. Once seated she opens the box and pulls out some different board games. We play a few then put them away so we can order our lunch. The food is good but not nearly as fancy as the meals we ate at the capitol.

After lunch, Peeta decides to walk through the other cars to move around. Prim and I stay seated. Soon Prim is fast asleep. I lean my head on hers and soon drift of to sleep also. When I wake I find Peeta sitting down across from us. I glare and he smiles sheepishly when I realize he has been watching me sleep. "What? I can't help it. You're so cute when you sleep." I close my eyes and turn away from him but hear him chuckle to himself.

After supper we are told that we are welcome to find a sleeping car if we would like. There should be plenty of room we are told since there are only twenty people continuing on after the next stop.

"Hurry," Prim insists as she pulls me out of the seat and hurries down the aisle. "I want to pick which one we get."

When we are almost to the door I turn to find Peeta still at the table. "Go on. I'll come find you," I tell Prim as I turn to head back to Peeta. "Aren't you going to get a room?"

"I don't know…I think it would be too much like before."

"We could get rooms next to each other."

Peeta shrugs, then moves to get up. "I guess I can at least come see where you guys will be."

We pass through two cars before we find Prim smiling widely as she sits on a bed with bright purple blankets. "Is this the room you want?"

"Yes."

"Okay," I nod as I flick the light on in the bathroom to take a peek. Prim and I decide to share a room.

"I'm going back to the dining car. I don't think I'm ready to sleep in one of these rooms." Peeta heads down the hall and walks out the door leading to the next car.

Soon Prim and I are in our pajamas and crawling under the covers. "Good night," Prim says as she snuggles up to me. I squirm a bit and giggle. "What?"

"You're breathing in my ear." She giggles while sticking her nose right in my ear. "Prim," I turn sideways so my ear is covered by the pillow and pull the blanket up to protect my other ear.

"Okay, I'll stop," Prim giggles as she lays the opposite way so we are facing each other.

When she closes her eyes and is quiet for a while, I turn onto my other side. As I lay in the darkness I can feel the sway of the train that I could not feel before. It is comforting and I soon drift off the sleep.

"Katniss, wake up. The train will be in the capitol soon." I stretch and look around. The room is different. The blanket and carpets are red. The furniture is black.

I jump when I notice the bouquet of white roses sitting on the dresser. I stand and slowly walk over to the dresser. Next to the bouquet is a note. I reach up to pick it up and find my hand is shaking. My name is printed on the front. When I turn it over, there is a seal of red wax with a fancy S on the back of the envelope. I stare at it, knowing I need to open it but knowing if this is really from Snow it can be nothing good.

I slowly peel the envelope open. My nose wrinkles, as I smell the stench of roses. I pull the note out and slowly unfold it. My breath catches as I stare at the words.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

I jerk up in bed and stare into the darkness.

"Katniss. What's wrong?" I look next to me and find Prim sitting up next to me.

"It's okay. I was just dreaming," I say as I move the covers and get out of bed.

"Where are you going?"

I turn back and pull the covers around her. "I'm not tired any more. I'm going to sit with Peeta. You sleep." I kiss her forehead then walk to the door. I hear Prim shift under the covers as I pull the door closed.

There are lights on in the hall even though there is no one around. I walk through two more empty cars before I get to the dining car. The only other person besides Peeta is the waiter who I'm sure is working. He is standing at the counter drying some glasses. I nod as I walk past to where Peeta is sitting.

He looks up at me and smiles. "Couldn't sleep?" I shake my head. Peeta turns sideways with one leg stretched out on the bench then silently opens his arms to me. I slide in and allow him to pull me close.

I am jolted awake when Peeta shakes me. "Katniss, wake up. We have to get out of here."

"What?" I yawn and stretch as I look around sleepily."

"Hurry. Hurry." Peeta is pushing me to the end of the seat.

"Why? We're not there yet."

"I know. We have to get off the train before we get there."

"I don't get it."

"The train. It's headed to the capitol. We have to get off." Peeta manages to get me to stand and quickly scoots out himself. Then he reaches down and takes my hand. He starts pulling me toward the exit.

"Peeta, we can't get off. The train is still moving."

"I know. We have to jump. Remember to tuck and roll when you land." His words startle me wide-awake and I start pulling against him.

"Peeta, you're crazy. I'm not jumping off a moving train."

When Peeta turns to look at me I notice immediately that his pupils are dilated. I pull hard against him as he continues to pull me toward the door. "Come on, Katniss. It's the only way," he pleads as he reaches for the door.

"Peeta! Snap out of it!" I screech and frantically pull against him but it's not working since he is twice my size. "Peeta!" I cry as I turn to look around.

Peeta has opened the door and reaches to me with his other hand now as he holds the door open with his foot. "Katniss, we have to go." I shake my head and push against his hand that is firmly holding mine.

Peeta's head jerks up and I turn quickly. I see another man at the other end of the dining car. He looks at us questioningly. "Is everything all right?" Peeta starts jerking me toward the other door.

"No," I quickly yelp.

"Don't talk to him. He's a peacekeeper," Peeta hisses. The man is walking cautiously toward us. "Katniss, stop wasting time. We have to go," Peeta pleads as he pants from exertion and near hysteria.

The man is almost to us when Peeta finally yanks me out the door. He pulls it shut right as the man reaches for him. I jerk free and grab for the door to the next car. "No! We have to jump from here! There will be more peacekeepers in there." Peeta yells over the roar of the train.

"No!" I yell and start to open the door.

"Then I'm going without you," Peeta says. I turn back quickly and see tears in Peeta's eyes. "I'm not going back to the capitol, Katniss. I can't go through it all again." Peeta takes a step to the edge as he takes hold of the railing. "Why would you take me back to the capitol?" his voice trembles.

He then slowly turns to look me in the eye. His face has changed from fear to hatred. "You're a mutt. Snow wants you to bring me back," he nearly spits out.

"No, Peeta. It's the venom. You're just having an episode."

His eyes rake up and down me as he slowly shakes his head. "You're despicable." He turns to look out at the trees whizzing past us. I watch in horror as he leans forward his body swaying in the strong wind caused by the speeding train. He really is going to jump. "You won't take me back."

At the last second two strong arms grab him and pull him back. I gasp with relief as I look over to find the man who had been coming down the aisle. He was now straining to keep Peeta from getting up. "Let me go!" Peeta yells.

The man just tightens his hold, "Everything is okay. No one is going to hurt you," the man grunts out.

"Snap out of it, Peeta!" I yell from my spot.

Peeta jerks around but is no match for the other man. "I…I won't go back to the capitol." Finally he stops moving but the man does not let go. Both are breathing hard.

"Peeta," I slowly kneel and place my hands on his cheeks. Our eyes lock. "You…are not…in danger. We…are going to see…Finnick and Annie." I keep holding his face until I see his pupils slowly shrink to normal.

Peeta blinks a few time before asking, "Katniss, what's going on? Why are we out here?"

I breathe out a slow breath as I lower my hands. I nod and the man slowly loosens his arms from around Peeta. I stand and look at Peeta. Peeta stands too and looks back questioning as the other man uses the railing to pull himself up. "You had an episode. You were going to jump off the train because you thought we were headed to the capitol."

Peeta looks between the both of us, and the other guy nods his head in agreement. "I was going to jump?" Peeta shakes his head trying to put it all together. "And you stopped me," he continues as his eyes rest on the stranger.

"Yes."

"How did you know what to do?"

The man shrugs. "I remember you from 13. I was one of the nurses that brought you food when you were in the hospital." Peeta and I just watch him. "I saw the doctors restrain you, and you usually came out of it after a while."

"How long would you have kept holding me?"

"As long as it took." He shrugged again. "You do what you have to."

We all stand in silence until the other guy turns to open the door. He starts to go back inside. "Thanks," Peeta quietly says.

"No problem," the guy turns to smile then holds the door open to gesture we come back in too. Peeta takes hold of the knob and waits for me to go in then follows. We go sit at our table while the other guy sits at a table with a woman and child who are already seated. I can see the woman talking then the man nodded.

When I look at Peeta he has his head in his hands. "I can't believe I almost jumped off the train," he whispers to himself.

I reach over and touch his hand. His blue eyes look into mine. "You're better now. It's all over."

After a while Prim joins us for breakfast. While we are eating the announcement is made that the train will be to district 4 in twenty minutes.

As soon as we pull into the station Prim squeals when she sees Finnick and Annie standing on the platform. I look to see Annie holding a bundle in her arms. We quickly gather our things and exit the train.

Finnick waves us over. "Hey, Fire Girl," he says pulling me into a hug. Then he hugs Peeta and Prim too. Prim sidles up to Annie and carefully pulls the blanket back to see the baby. He yawns and blinks open his green eyes.

"Oh, he is so cute. Can I hold him?" Annie gently lays him in Prim's arms as Peeta and I come close to take look. Peeta reaches a finger up and strokes his cheek.

"Well, I hate to interrupt but how about we move this shindig to our house," Finnick prods. Peeta and Finnick grab all of our bags and Peeta's package.

We are soon shuffling up the steps to one of the houses in victor's village. Finnick pushes open the door then sets the bags off to the side. "This is where you will be staying. Our house is right next-door. Do you guys want to settle in, then we can eat lunch?"

"Sounds good," Peeta says.

"Come over when you're ready." Finnick takes the baby from Prim and they head for the door. Peeta heads to the kitchen while Prim heads upstairs to the bedrooms.

I am drawn to the big window in the living room that has a perfect view of the ocean. "Wow," I sigh. Peeta joins me and wraps his arms round me. "I always dreamed of visiting the ocean." I feel Peeta nod in agreement. We both stand there taking in the beauty.

Prim breaks the silence when she comes running down the stairs, "Come on. Let's go." She pulls on my arm. "I want to hold the baby some more."

After lunch we sit out on the porch that looks out onto the ocean. Prim is holding the sleeping baby in her arms. Finnick has informed us his name is Fin. You would never guess who he is named after.

"Should we walk down to the beach?"

"Yes," Peeta, Prim, and I answer in unison.

"Let's go then." Finnick takes the baby in one arm and holds out his other hand to Annie. She takes it and they head down the steps toward the ocean. Prim follows behind them as Peeta and I bring up the rear. Peeta walks beside me and I slowly reach up and place my hand in his. He turns and smiles as he squeezes my hand.

The beach is wonderful. Prim starts finding all sorts of beautiful seashells. Finnick keeps one arm around Annie but uses the other to point out things to us: seagulls, sand crabs, jellyfish, and even a dolphin playing in the waves.

"Can we swim?" Prim asks after a while.

"Sure," Finnick glances at Annie who smiles weakly. "Here, why don't you sit on this rock? We won't go too deep." Annie nods and sits down. Finnick lays Fin in her arms and kisses his forehead. "Are you okay?" She smiles and nods again but I can see fear in her eyes. Finnick kisses her cheek then turns to us. "Come on," he smiles and starts walking toward the water.

I jog to catch up with him. "Is Annie all right?"

"Yeah. She just gets really nervous around the water. She still has nightmares of drowning like in her games."

"Oh," Finnick and I both glance over our shoulders at the same time. Annie smiles and waves from her spot.

Soon we are splashing in the waves. Peeta will only go about waist deep. Finnick, Prim, and I go a little further. The waves come crashing in. One catches Prim and I off guard and we both sputter as we choke on the salt water. Finnick laughs. "You have to jump right before the wave gets to you, like this," he takes Prim's hand and pulls her out in the waves and jumps with her. They seem to glide with the wave instead of being plowed over by it.

"Katniss, take my hand," Prim squeals. I hurry over before the next wave comes.

"Jump," Finnick shouts. We jump into several more waves and are having a great time.

Soon I look back and find that the push of the waves has pulled us far to the side. When I don't see Peeta I begin to worry slightly. "He's over there," Finnick points as he seems to read my mind. I follow his finger and see Peeta sitting on the rock next to Annie. He seems to be deep in conversation with her.

"I'm getting cold," Prim says huddling low in the water. I then realize that I'm a little cold too.

"Why don't we head back to the house?" Finnick motions as we wade out of the water and we make our way over to Peeta and Annie.

We go to our house to shower, then head back to Finnick's house. We eat clam chowder that was made by one of the ladies in town. Peeta presents Finnick and Annie with the painting he did for them.

Annie gasps as she brushes her finger down the giant sea turtle. "How did you know they're my favorite?"

A grin spreads across Peeta's face. "I didn't. I just found pictures of them in a book and really liked them."

Annie stands quickly and takes Peeta's hand. "Come see the nursery." Peeta lets her lead him up the stairs and the rest of us follow.

When she flicks on the lights we see the nursery is sea blue with stuffed sea turtles on every shelf. "It matches perfectly." Finnick leans the painting against the wall. Annie says she is going to lay the baby down and Prim decides to stay and help. Peeta offers to help Finnick do the dishes so I go sit on the porch.

I look up when I hear the door open. Annie smiles as she walks over to sit next to me. I want to say something but I never know what to talk to Annie about so we just sit in silence. "Thank you," she says quietly.

"For what?" I ask looking at her big sea green eyes.

"For being Finnick's friend." I continue to watch her as she turns to look out at the ocean. "I know it's hard for Finnick especially without Mags. He has to take care of me and the baby."

I reach down and take her slender hand, "Finnick wouldn't want it any other way. He loves you very much."

"I know. He just seems so worn out sometimes." I squeeze her hand and she in turn smiles. Wow I would have never thought Annie to be that insightful. As I look out at the ocean I realize Annie understands a lot more than people think.

"What are you two doing?" I hear coming from behind us. I turn to see Finnick and Peeta coming out the door.

"Just sitting," I answer. I smile and wink at Annie when she catches me looking at her. She smiles back then looks at Finnick.

"I thought we would show them our secret place. What do you think, Annie?" Her smile grows as she reaches for Finnick's outstretched hand. I stand too. Peeta looks at me and we both shrug as we follow them down the path.

This time we walk away from the beach and head along the road that leads past the victor's houses. We come to a small path that goes into a bunch of trees. It is dark once we enter the trees but just ahead I see a bright glow.

When we come out of the trees, I gasp. We are standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean and the sun is just touching the horizon. I am speechless as I stand and gaze. I think it is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen.

I feel Peeta pull on my hand as he directs me over to the bench that Annie and Finnick are already sitting on. I sit next to him. "It's your favorite color," I smile and turn to meet his gaze. He looks briefly at me than puts his arm around me and pulls me in close.

When the sun completely disappears Finnick leans over. "So what did you think?"

"Wow," Peeta whispers as he continues to look out at the ocean.

It has been three wonderful days spent with Finnick, Annie, and little Fin. We have eaten a picnic on the beach for our last lunch together. Peeta and I are on the blanket watching Finnick and Prim splash in the waves as Annie stands near the waters edge with little Fin in her arms.

"I'll be sad to leave," Peeta says quietly. I nod in agreement. "It has been fun."

"Katniss?" Peeta says after a long silence. I turn to face him. His eyes are sparkling and he smiles shyly.

"What?"

He looks at me then quickly looks down at his hands. "I…I wanted to ask you something."

"Yes?" I say smiling and scoot closer. He looks back up at me then reaches down and fumbles to get something out of his pocket.

"Katniss," he pulls out a small box. I look at the box then look quizzically back up into his blue eyes. He clears his throat. I have never seen Peeta seem so nervous. He licks his lips then the words come stumbling out, "Katniss, will you marry me?"

My eyes return to the box he is holding and he slowly opens it. Inside the box I see a small ring with a pearl. My mouth opens with a small gasp and I look back up at Peeta,

"Is that my pearl?"

He nods. "I got Prim to find it." I am speechless as I look back at the ring. "Do you like it? I…I hope you don't mind that I took it."

I can see apprehension in his eyes but before Peeta can say another word I reach up and kiss him. He pulls back in surprise his eyes wide but quickly leans back in and kisses me deeply as he wraps his arms around me.

When we pull apart, we are both grinning at each other.

"Is that a yes?" Peeta whispers.

I nod as my smile grows bigger and I lean in to kiss him again.

**Quick question: should I end the story with the wedding or should I write about when they have kids? I have not decided and would like to know what my readers think.**


	41. Chapter 41

**Sorry for the super long delay. My mom has had many health problems and writing had to be put on the back burner.**

I sit on mom's porch and watch the people scurrying around. I have never seen the victor's village so crowded. It has been nine months since Peeta asked me to marry him and our wedding is only three days away.

I smile and wave at Finnick and Annie as they walk toward Haymitch's house. Little Fin is holding onto both their hands. He giggles loudly as they swing him back and forth with each step.

"Aren't you coming?" Finnick calls to me, "It is your party after all."

"I'll be there in a few minutes," I answer, "Prim takes forever to get ready." They walk across the road and disappear behind the house.

I hear the door close and turn to find Prim standing next to me. She has on a short white dress with bright red poppies with red shoes to match. Her hair is pulled into a ponytail. "Katniss, don't you think you should dress up a bit?"

"I'm wearing a skirt. Isn't that enough?" Prim watches me as I stand. I have on a simple white blouse and plain black skirt.

She rolls her eyes, "What happened to the dress Effie sent?"

"I think its up in my closet," I shrug.

"Go put it on. You have to dress up for the party." I huff out a sigh before going in. I let the door slam lightly to let Prim know I am not pleased.

When I return she smiles, "Katniss, it fits you perfectly." It is a dark purple knee length dress with black lace underneath that makes the skirt puff out a bit and short sleeves. Before I can object Prim catches her arm in mine and pulls me toward the steps.

When we reach Haymitch's backyard there are people everywhere. Prim hurries off to talk with Rory and others from her school class. I scan the crowd until my eyes stop on the spit where Greasy Sae and a bunch of the kitchen ladies from thirteen are roasting a pig along with all the trimmings.

"Hey, Fire Girl." I turn to see Finnick waving at me. He is sitting at the table with Annie and Johanna. Little Fin is playing in the dirt nearby.

"I love your dress," Annie smiles sweetly.

"Thanks," I smile back.

"Yah, It brings out the color of your eyes," Johanna chides sarcastically but Annie nods her head in agreement. I sit down next to Johanna. "Quite the shindig," Johanna mutters as she glances around. "I think all of the people from 13 came."

We all sit and watch the different groups that have formed around the yard. Soon Peeta plops down next to me. His shirt is all rumpled in the front. "What happened to you?" I giggle.

Peeta rolls his eyes, "I went inside to help bring out the drinks, but Haymitch and some of the other men already dug into the wine. It was quite a task getting them outside." Peeta glares over near the house where I can just make out a group of men slumped over a table each with a bottle in hand.

"Sounds like a good group to join," Johanna rises from the table and heads over there.

"Oh," we hear a shrill voice, "here's the happy couple." Peeta and I both turn to see Effie headed in our direction. "Come, come. It's time for the toasting," she beckons to us. Peeta takes my hand and pulls me over to Effie. "I would like to thank everyone for coming tonight…" she just begins when Haymitch stumbles over and swipes the glass of wine right out of her hand.

"Here's to many years of wild love making," he slurs then raises the glass high. There are many gasps from all around and lots of chuckles. I glance over at Peeta who is beet red. I do the only thing I can think of and raise my glass to clink with Haymitch's. Then he takes a slug and staggers off into the crowd.

The rest of the evening is filled with eating, drinking, and dancing. It is well into the morning hours before everyone finally goes home. Peeta and Finnick had to carry Haymitch inside while some of the other men had to be escorted home too.

Tomorrow is the big day. All of the women are bustling about getting ready but I choose to sneak off to the woods. All I want is a little time to clear my head. I go to my favorite place: the little shack out by the lake. I sit under the shade of a large oak. I close my eyes and listen to the animals all around.

My eyes jerk open as I hear a noise right in front of me. Standing there is a pair of long legs that I would know from anywhere. "Hey, Catnip."

"Gale, what are you doing here?"

"That's a fine welcome," his voice sounds a little hurt.

I jump up and pull him into a hug. "I meant I just didn't expect you to be here since you were in district 6 helping with the rebuild."

"Well, I thought it was time for a visit home to check on mom and the others." I roll my eyes knowing full well he was here to see me. I plop back down and lean against the tree and Gale does the same.

We both sit in silence for a while when I sense Gale looking at me. I turn to look at him and see his jaw is set in a serious way and his gray eyes look like they could burn a hole right through me. "Are you going to share what you are thinking?"

He sighs then looks down at his rough hands, "I just want to be sure you're ready for this"

"Meaning what?" I answer, wanting him to elaborate.

"You are only eighteen. You're so young."

"Our parents got married when they were our age. Wasn't your mom only sixteen?"

"Yes, but she had to because her family couldn't afford food even with the tesserae."

"Things still turned out just fine for your parents."

"What if you change your mind in a few years?"

"I won't." Gale looked away and out at the ripples in the lake. I did the same but then looked back at him. "Are you asking because I chose Peeta instead of you?"

"Maybe," Gale answers quietly while picking at pieces of grass.

I sigh then look at him, "Two years ago if you would have said you were interested, I would have jumped at the chance, but Peeta was the one who stepped up." I watch him as he silently concentrates on the grass.

Finally I grow weary of waiting for a reply, so I stand and walk back through the woods. A small part of me wants Gale to run to catch up with me and beg me to marry him, but the rest of me knows that Peeta is the only one I want. I do not see Gale for the rest of the day.

The day of the wedding has come at last. I stand in front of the mirror as mom sticks the last of the baby's breath into my hair around the silver hair comb that was my grandmother's. Mom and Prim stand behind me as we all look at our reflection. "You look beautiful," mom whispers.

"Thanks," I smile and stand.

Effie comes in carrying my bouquet of peach carnations. Peeta said the color reminded him of the sunsets we have shared. "Oh my," she gasps. I look at her expecting some comment on the plainness or lack of frills. Instead of wearing one of the gaudy capitol dresses I decided to wear a simple white sleeveless dress with a lace overlay. It is long enough that it just skims the floor. "Katniss, you look simply divine." I breathe out a small sigh of relief, not that I really care what Effie thinks of my choices, but if I get that reaction from her, then I know it must be good.

Annie steps up from her place on the bed. She is holding a single strand of pearls. "Here. Something borrowed. Mags gave them to me." My fingers pass over them as she fastens them around my neck. I think of the kind old woman who gave her life for me in the games.

"Let's see," Prim thinks aloud, "Something old (that's grandma's hair comb), something new (oh, the pearl earrings from Haymitch), something borrowed (the pearl necklace)…now all we need is blue."

We all stand in silence thinking. "Here, here! Wear my bracelet!" Effie shrieks.

I find myself biting my lip as I turn to look at Effie and think, "Oh dear, what kind of horrid thing will she want me to wear?" To my surprise she unclasps a silver bracelet with a small blue sapphire butterfly. I hold up my wrist for her clasp it on. Mom, Annie, and Prim gather around to admire it.

Shortly I am ushered out of the house and to the backyard where the wedding is to be held. There are ten rows of completely filled chairs with an aisle down the middle. A few people are standing off to the sides under the peach trees. The official is standing under the arbor that is covered with peach colored wild roses especially planted with our wedding in mind. All the girls have sat down and I stand near the large lilac bush. The soft fragrance is calming.

I try to wait patiently but find myself feeling antsy. "Where are the guys?" I think to myself, "They should be out here already." I suddenly feel someone touch my elbow. I turn thinking I will see find Haymitch who is to walk me down the aisle but instead I find Cheth. He motions for me to follow him then disappears back around the corner.

I follow until we are in the front yard. "Where's Peeta?"

"He's having an episode, I think. He keeps muttering something about President Snow and you being a mutt."

"What?" I gasp out. Cheth explains on the way over to Peeta's house that when he was getting ready something triggered an episode where he thought he was back in the capitol and that President Snow was going to send me to kill him on our wedding night. I shake my head trying to rationalize what is happening as he continues to tell me that Peeta also woke up screaming in the night, and that he had not been himself all day. "Maybe I can talk to him?" Cheth and I hurry over to Peeta's house.

When we enter we hear Peeta's screaming coming from upstairs followed by cursing, which could only be from Haymitch. I pull up my dress as I take the stairs two at a time with Cheth close behind.

I jerk to a stop at the top of the stairs when I see Peeta half way down the hall with Haymitch and Finnick pulling on both arms. "We have to kill her before she hurts someone," Peeta snarls straining against both Haymitch and Finnick.

"Peeta, cool down. Katniss is not a mutt. The wedding is for real," Finnick calmly insists.

It is then that Peeta meets my gaze, until now he had not noticed me standing at the top of the stairs. I notice his eyes are fully dilated with only a small ring of blue. They lock onto me. "You," he growls as he jerks toward me. "Not even going to wait until after the wedding. I should have guessed that from a dirty mutt," he spits out.

"Peeta?" I hesitantly say as I feel my hands becoming clammy. He has not had an episode since the train ride to district 4. "I'm not a mutt," I insist even though my voice comes out sounding weak.

I look at Haymitch and Finnick who are both watching me to see what I am going to do. I can see both of them tighten their hold on Peeta. I look back up to meet Peeta's still intense stare.

Then I do the only thing I can think of, I walk up to Peeta and place my hand on his jaw line. I can feel the tenseness in his body like a deer that has spotted a mountain lion and is waiting for the attack.

When he does not move I wait for a few seconds then reach up on my toes and slowly kiss his lips. I pull away to a look of total bewilderment and confusion. I stay still so that our bodies are only a few inches apart waiting to see what will happen.

To my great relief I see his pupils slowly shrink back to normal. He blinks a few times as his body goes slack in Haymitch and Finnick's grip. They slowly lower him to the floor where he sits and puts his head in his hands. I kneel next him and put my hand on his knee. "Peeta?" I ask quietly.

He slowly raises his head and I see tears in his eyes. "Why is this always happening?"

"Because of the capitol."

Peeta looks down at his hands and shakes his head; "I would have killed you if I could have."

"But you didn't," I say putting my hand in his.

He is quiet for a bit before he talks softly almost more to himself. "I can't let you…I won't let you," his eyes are sad but determined when he looks up at me.

"You won't let me what?" I ask.

"Marry me," he answers slowly, "You know I want it more than anything, but you deserve someone who won't try to kill you."

"Peeta," I plead.

"No…no…I won't marry you." He squeezes my hand as another tear slides down his cheek and he lowers his head.

I reach down with my free hand and lift his chin. "Peeta Mellark, I am going to marry you whether you like it or not," I say firmly but quietly.

"But what if I'm like this for the rest of my life?"

"Then we'll deal with it, just like we always do," I answer and lean in to kiss his cheek. He still does not seem convinced so I add; "Besides I'll hear you coming a mile away with that leg of yours." I smile softly and see a hint of a smile form at the corner of his lips.

We both look up when we hear a throat clear. "Are you two going to get hitched or what?" Haymitch says in his normal gruff tone. I look back at Peeta and he nods slowly. I reach down to help pull him up. "Good cause I didn't want to tell Effie it was canceled," Haymitch huffs. We all laugh at that. I can almost picture Effie's pouting tantrum if she thought all her time had been wasted.

A few minutes later we are standing back at the lilac bush. "Aren't I supposed to be in front already and isn't Haymitch supposed to be the one to walk you down the aisle?" I can hear the slight edge of fear in Peeta's voice as he glances at the crowd in their seats and the official at the front.

"It's fine. We can do it however we want."

"But it's tradition," Peeta stammers.

I look at him and reach up and touch his cheek to get his attention. When he looks at me, I cock my head to one side, "When do we ever do what is 'traditional'. Since our victory in our first games we have done nothing traditional. Besides I hate traditions." I pat his cheek and he smiles slightly. "So let's get this wedding started?" He nods and squeezes my hand in his as he turns to face the aisle. I nod at Haymitch who in turn nods to the fiddler who begins to play as we walk down the aisle.

When we get to the front I pass my flowers off to Prim who is sitting next to mom. Then I turn to face Peeta. His eyes are twinkling as he gazes down at me. We are both lost in the moment.

We say our vows and soon the official is pronouncing us Mr. and Mrs. Peeta Mellark. "You may kiss your bride." Peeta pulls me into himself and kisses me with all the passion in the world. I close my eyes and feel like we are the only ones in the world.

When he pulls away there is a thunderous applause from everyone. I feel my cheeks burn red, but I smile up at Peeta who is still fully focused on me. The fiddler begins to play, as we look out at all the crowd. We greet people as we make our way slowly down the aisle. We are met at the lilac bush by Effie who pulls us both into a giant hug. "It was beautiful," she sniffles as she dabs at her eyes with the fuchsia hanky that matches her dress. Haymitch pushes her on her way around to the front of the house; "You can talk to the love birds at the reception."

We bring up the rear as all the guests make their way over to Haymitch's for the reception. The tables are decorated with white table clothes and simple peach ribbons down the center. I am greeted by many hugs as Peeta slowly leads me through the crowd over to our table.

I come to a halt when my eyes fall on the gorgeous cake setting on the table. It is five tiers that are white, but are covered with peach roses and delicate green leaves. "Did you do that?" I whisper as I am still in awe.

Peeta smiles and nods, "I thought it was a perfect blend of both our favorite colors."

"I love it," I say as I make my way around the cake taking in all the details.

After everyone is seated we cut the cake and take the first bites. Then Greasy Sae and two other women start cutting the cake for everyone else.

Soon the fiddler starts to play. Three more men join him. "May I have this dance?" Peeta asks standing and offering me his hand. I take it and he leads me to the dance floor for our first dance. When the song ends we kiss.

Finnick steps up and taps Peeta's shoulder, "May I have the next dance?" Peeta releases my hand and Finnick whisks me away as a lively tune begins. I dance with several other men and watch Peeta dance with my mother, Prim, and many other women.

A slow dance begins and I look around for my next partner. Gale steps up and bows slightly. I take his hand as he pulls me in and wraps his hand around my waist. We look into each other's eyes, but neither of us can think of what to say. Finally Gale speaks, "Katniss, I'm sorry for the way I acted the other day."

"It's okay," I shrug.

"No. I was being a jerk. I was jealous of Peeta, but after seeing the way you looked at him during the ceremony I realize I didn't stand a chance. I see how much you really love him, and I can tell he loves you just as much." I lean my head on his shoulder as we dance in silence. "I hope one day I find someone that loves me the way Peeta loves you," Gale quietly says as we slowly move around the dance floor.

"I'm sure you will," I answer as I lift my hand and look into his gray eyes.

I feel Gale tense and when we turn I find Peeta watching us as he dances with one of the ladies from the kitchen. I pull away so Gale and I are not so close. As the song ends Gale releases me, "I hope you have a happy life together," he mutters then walks off the dance floor and across the yard. I watch him disappear around the corner of the house.

I jump when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn my head to see Peeta looking down at me then he looks off in the direction that Gale had gone. "Is everything okay?" I reach over and take his hand in mine and nod as I glance back to where I last saw Gale. Then we turn and Peeta leads me back into the crowd of people.

By the time Peeta and I leave the reception, I feel that it must be way past midnight. Every time I looked around there were still more people. Finally the last guest had left. "Why did we have to wait for them all to leave," I whine as we walk toward Peeta's home (technically our home.)

"It's the polite thing to do," Peeta says as he pulls me along with his arm around my waist.

"Isn't it polite for people to leave at a decent time?" I grumble. Peeta chuckles as we walk up the steps. "You know the saddest part?"

"What?"

"There was all that food that Greasy Sae and the other cooks made and I hardly ate anything. Every time I tried to sneak over to the tables someone would talk to me or want me to dance."

Peeta smiles down at me as we stop at the door. "My poor hungry wife." He reaches down and lightly brushes his lips against my forehead.

I am just about to walk through the door when he grabs me and sweep me off my feet and up into his arms. "Peeta, what are you doing?"

"Carrying you across the threshold." He carries me inside and over to the living room which is dark. He sets me down near the fireplace.

"What are we doing?" I ask as he lights a single candle.

"Toasting. You say you don't like traditions but there is one tradition we are going to keep," Peeta answers as he pads into the kitchen. I glance around next to me and can just make out a small pile of branches setting on the hearth.

Peeta walks back in carrying a small platter in one hand and a basket in the other. I watch as he kneels next to me on the rug. He smiles as he reaches over and places some of the branches near me then places a few in the hearth. I smile as I move to a kneeling position and place some of my branches in the hearth also. We continue until all the branches are piled together then Peeta takes the matches and lights the branches on fire.

We sit back on the rug and Peeta pulls me into his arms as we watch the fire burn. I turn to look up into his eyes. I can see the flicker of the flames burning in his eyes. He looks down at me and smiles widely and I reach up and plant a kiss on his lips. He deepens the kiss, which continues until my stomach lets out a loud growl. Both of us laugh into the others mouth and pull apart.

As I watch with interest, Peeta reaches over to pick up the small basket he had brought from the kitchen. He pulls off the hand towel revealing small cheese buns. Then he picks up two sticks that I hadn't noticed sitting next to him on the floor. He places a cheese bun on the end of one stick and hands it to me then takes the other stick and puts a cheese bun on it. He smiles at me then nods to the fire, "Shall we?" I smile back then we both lower our sticks into the fire.

When the buns are toasty brown we pull them from the fire. Peeta lightly blows on his then holds it out to me and I take a bite. Then I in turn do the same. We take turns until both buns are gone then we kiss again.

"What's on the platter?" I question when I catch sight of it again.

Peeta smiles and reaches over to set it down in between us. "Why don't you look and see." I glance from the plate to Peeta's delighted blue eyes then reach over to the lid and pull it off. To my growling stomach's delight the platter is full of a sampling of all the food from the reception.

"Wow!"

"Greasy Sae snuck it over while we were dancing. She told me about it when I danced with her."

"Remind me to give her a big hug next time we go to her café." We both hungrily look at all the delicious food trying to decide where to begin when Peeta's stomach echoes mine with a growl of anticipation. At that we both laugh then dig in.

When we are both full we watch the fire as we snuggle under the new blanket that Prim had sewn for us.

As the fire dies away Peeta turns to me in the last flickering light. "Thank you for saying 'yes'." I then lean in and kiss him as I wind my arms around his neck into his golden hair.

Our kissing intensifies as Peeta pulls me in close wrapping his arms around my waist. Under the blanket I feel Peeta's hands slowly travel up my back and pull the zipper down on my dress.

In turn I reach up and undo the buttons on his plain white shirt then slide it off his broad shoulders. My hands feel their way back down his chest following the trail of scars. I feel his breath hitch as I touch one near his hips right above his waist. I smile against his mouth.

He reaches up and pulls the straps to my dress so they slide off my shoulders, then he trails kisses across my jawbone and down my neck to my shoulders as his hands slide down my back to undo my bra.

Afterward I find myself watching the last little ambers glow from the fire as I listen to the quietness all around me. The only sound is our breathing and Peeta's strong and steady heartbeat. I can feel the warmth of Peeta's bare skin against mine and I am reminded how much I love to feel his strong arms enclosed around me.

"I love you, Katniss," he whispers into my hair.

"I love you too," I reply nuzzling my face into his chest.

"Always?" I lift my head and gaze into his blue eyes that have a slight hint of reservation.

I pull myself up so we are eye to eye and I slowly brush the back of my hand down his jaw then answer, "Always, Peeta," and softly press my lips against his. His eyes twinkle in the dim light.

Then I lie back down on his chest and close my eyes. As I feel him gently remove the pins holding my hair, I smile with contentment, knowing every night for the rest of our lives will be spent together like this.

**The end, unless I decide to write a sequel. If I do it will probably be a long time as I am writing two other stories and need to work on them too. If you enjoyed this one I hope you will read my other ones. **


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